Out of Sorrow
by LilyRose Blue
Summary: After Donna's death Opie can't seem to bring himself to move on. He is doing increasingly dangerous things as if he has a death wish. Can the helping hand of a friend bring him back from the brink.
1. Chapter 1

Tara looked at her watch and realized that it was already midnight. She sighed and reached for the remote and turned off the TV. She had not anticipated being here for eight hours and yet here she sat waiting for Opie to return home. She sighed glad to have the house quiet. She just focused on the pouring rain outside.

Opie's wife Donna had died a few months back in a botched hit that was meant for Opie. This left Opie alone with his two young children Kenny and Ellie. Kenny was a lot like his dad…rough around the edges and not adept at expressing his emotions. This had led to Kenny getting into a couple of fights a week at school.

Ellie on the other hand was melancholy all the time. She refused to talk about Donna's death and she was distant from her father. To make matters worse Opie's flaky mother, Mary, had been staying with him to look after the kids but she had unceremoniously taken off leaving him to fend for himself.

Opie couldn't take care of the emotional needs of his kids he couldn't even bring himself to sleep in the bedroom that he shared with his wife. Tara knew how difficult it was to lose a mother at a very young age. Tara's mother died when she was nine years old. So for the past month Tara had been acting as surrogate mom. She picked the kids up from school, helped them with their homework, fixed them dinner, and then got them to bed before Opie came in for the night. He was usually drunk. But he was usually home by 9:00. Tonight he was very late.

Tara was ready to head home, but she didn't exactly have anything to go home to anymore. Tara and Jax had called it quits not long after Donna's funeral. The 'road' had been the final nail in their relationship's coffin. The road was a curious perk afforded to the men in the club. Even if they had an 'old lady' when they went on road trips they were allowed to partake in the bounties of whatever beauties were willing and there were a lot of beauties that were willing. One of Jax's conquests from one of his trips showed up in town. Tara was humiliated and after a heated fight with Jax the two of them decided to call it quits. Someone once said that the third time was the charm. Tara was more inclined to believe that the third time was just your third stupid mistake. She was determined not to go a fourth round. She and Jax made better friends than lovers.

As 12:00 turned to 1:00 in the morning Tara drifted off on the living room couch still waiting for Opie.

Opie staggered into his house two hours later. He reeked of beer and whiskey and his face was bloodied like he had just gotten into a fist fight. He fumbled with the door trying to lock it behind him. He was soaking wet from being caught in the rain. The thunder rolled across the sky as a bolt of lightning lit up the dark living room illuminating his large figure briefly.

Tara was startled out of her sleep. She sat up on the couch and turned on a lamp that was sitting on the side table. She winced seeing Opie's face. "My god…Opie what happened to you?" asked Tara getting up from the couch. She walked over to him and the smell of the beer and whiskey nearly sent her back a foot. "Come sit down I have my medical bag with me. I need to clean your face up." Tara took his hand and pulled him to the couch.

Opie flopped down on the couch making the silent living room rattle a bit. Opie was a solid man over six feet tall, broad shoulders, and muscular. People often joked that Opie was the gentle giant. But tonight he was just a depressed drunk. "I don't need you to fix my face."

Tara ignored him and grabbed her bag and brought it over. "I am a doctor this is what I do." "Try not to breathe in my face." Tara looked at his bloody face and shook her head. She got out the peroxide and started cleaning his face. "What the hell happened Opie?"

"I got into a fight." said Opie thinking is was pretty obvious.

"No, I meant why did you get into a fight?" asked Tara as she cleaned his face and started to put a few bandages on him. She checked out his hands next and winced. He had on heavy rings that spelled out Sons of Anarchy. There was blood caught in between the letters. "Well, at least you kicked the other guy's ass." said Tara. She slipped the rings off of his fingers and cleaned his hands.

"I was at a bar and the juke box was playing Donna's song…and some jerk unplugged it because…he said I had played it too many times." said Opie. "So I punched him and used his face to break the glass on the jukebox." "And he had two friends with him…"

"Spare me the rest of the details." said Tara stopping him before he told her about the rest of the carnage. "You are going to get yourself killed Opie. It is like you are walking round with a death wish."

"Maybe I do want to die. Death has to be a hell of a lot better than living." quipped Opie.

"What about your kids Opie? What about them…what are they supposed to do without their mother or father? Are you expecting Mary to dedicate her life to taking care of them?"demanded Tara feeling her temper rising.

Opie pushed her hands away from tending to his wounds. "Why don't you mind your own business?" hissed Opie. "You don't know what I am going through!"

"Mind my own damn business? You don't think this concerns me? When you are out drinking every night who do you think is here taking care of your children! I am your friend Opie Winston and don't you forget it." "I care about what happens to you but more importantly I care about what happens to your kids." said Tara.

"My kids are fine!" said Opie.

"Are they Opie…when is the last time you've said anything to your children?" "Kenny is fighting in school every chance he gets. Ellie is sad all of the time…she doesn't talk to anyone. Your kids are anything but fine. But you are so busy grieving that you are ignoring them!"

Opie grabbed the lamp that was sitting next to him and he yanked it pulling the cord from the wall. Opie threw the lamp at the wall to silence Tara. Even in his drunken state he knew that there was truth in the words that Tara spoke. "Get out!" growled Opie.

"Kicking me out isn't going to change what the truth is." "And I'll be back yet again tomorrow to pick up your slack." said Tara shaking her head. "You are my friend Opie…and more than anything I want to help you through this. But you've got to want the help." said Tara her tone softening. "I know you love your kids Opie…but they are just kids. They need you…they need you to show them that love." "They need to know that it is going to be alright."

"How can I tell them that it is going to be alright…when I am not even sure." asked Opie in a solemn voice.

"You have so many people who love you Opie. We would do anything for you. Jax, Gemma, Clay, Bobby, Chibs, Juice…even Happy…though he creeps me out sometimes." said Tara. "Not to mention Piney…you know how much your father loves you." Piney was Opie's father and one of the two founding members of SAMCRO. Tara said "Just know we are here if you need the help." "Goodnight Opie." said Tara. She picked up her medical bag and purse and headed for the door. As she did lightning struck again.

Opie stood up and walked over to her and gently grabbed her hand. His large hand covered hers completely. "Don't leave. It is storming…I wouldn't forgive myself if something happened to you." "Stay the night…well whatever is left of it."

Tara thought about turning him down but looked out the window seeing the rain pouring down. "Thank you for offering..it looks pretty bad out there. I'll stay the night."

"I don't really have an extra room so you can take the couch." said Opie.

Tara nodded and said "Thank you." She walked over to the couch and set her bags down. Tara kicked off her shoes tiredly and got settled on the couch.

Opie disappeared and returned with a pillow and blanket for her. "Here you go." said Opie. He tossed a pillow on the floor and laid down on the floor next to the couch. He put his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling.


	2. Chapter 2

Opie laid on the floor silently for awhile just listening to the storm rage outside. This was his night almost every night. He'd lay awake until a mixture of alcohol and exhaustion forced him into a restless sleep. He hadn't gotten a good night's rest since Donna's death. He laid there thinking about everything Tara had said to him that night. He knew that she was right but Donna's death hurt so bad he just couldn't pull himself out of the funk that he was in. "I am sorry about being rude to you tonight…Tara. I really am. I appreciate everything you've been doing for my kids…everything you've been doing for me."

Tara had been on the edge of sleep when Opie started talking to her. "I know you do Opie." "I've known you too long to not know your true feelings." "I just put you on the defensive. We all lash out when we feel like we've been backed into a corner."

"Well, you had me dead to rights." "I have not been pulling my weight with my kids and I know they see it." "I want to be better for them. I know that they need me…but I don't know how." "Hell I don't even really know how to be a father." "I went to jail for five years Tara." "When I got back out…my kids barely knew me." "I was home for 6 months…. maybe before Donna was killed." "Kenny was 6 years old when I went to prison and Elli was 4." "What do I even know about them that isn't second hand knowledge from letters Donna wrote me in jail." "They are 11 and 9 now…." "And Donna isn't here to help me."

Tara leaned her head over the side of the couch so that she was looking at him. "I won't lie and say that I understand what you are going through because I don't…" "But I have been a child in this situation before." "The memories I have of my dad are of him being drunk..passed out on the floor in a pool of his own vomit." "I can remember him yelling at me to bring him another bottle of whatever liquor we had in the house." "I can remember him staggering drunk to the store to get another bottle of whiskey." "He was looking for answers too but he never found them in the bottom of all of those bottles. He found himself alone… "I left Charming to get away from that image…to get away from that pathetic existence because it was killing me inside Opie." "My mother dying…destroyed my father…and he couldn't bring himself to get it together for me." "He left me to raise myself…" "I'm still broken because of it…" "I have a hard time trusting, loving, believing in anyone…"

"I feel dead inside Tara…the guilt is killing me. I loved Donna so much and she stood by me while I was in prison…" "And then my lifestyle gets her killed…a lifestyle that she despised and begged me to leave behind." "I was always okay with the notion that my life might get me killed. I never cared. I am not afraid of dying I never have been." "I never considered that…I wouldn't be the one to pay for my sins." "Donna didn't deserve this she was…a beautiful amazing woman."

"Then you need to honor her Opie. You think that this is what she wants?" "She struggled so hard to keep your family together those years that you were in prison. Do you really think that she would want you to let all of that go to waste now?" asked Tara. "The best thing you can do to honor the woman you love is by preserving the family she left behind." "And you do that by getting some help and being the father to your kids that they need you to be." "They need you Opie…they need to know from you that everything is going to be okay. Even if you don't believe in your heart yet…you need to tell them that." "Kids need to feel safe…and stable and like there is balance and order to the world." "Because without that it is scary."

"So I am supposed to lie to them…I don't want to lie to my kids. I want to be able to them that I am okay…and that it is going to be okay. But I want it to be true." said Opie.

"Okay so you want to put life on hold while you mourn. I get that. But the thing is…children don't come with a pause button." "You can't just freeze them in place until you can get yourself together." "Every day that you are drunk and not spending time with them is a day you are losing with them. They are growing up Opie." "Kenny will be twelve in a couple of weeks, right?" "You've got to make a choice…how important are your kids to you."

Opie was silent, he laid there staring at the ceiling feeling tears wet the corner of his eyes.

Tara laid there, the silence was deafening to her. She wondered had she pushed the limits somehow. She looked over the edge of the couch at Opie's face and realized that he was crying. It was such a strange sight to see such a strong man reduced to tears. And yet at the same time it made her heartache. Opie was her childhood friend and his pain was breaking her heart. Tara climbed off the couch and laid on the floor next to Opie. "I didn't mean to…Opie I would never purposely say anything to hurt you." said Tara. "I am so sorry." She felt herself welling up thinking that she had hurt him.

Opie shook his said "You didn't say anything to hurt me.""You just said all of the things that I needed to hear but that no one has been willing to say." said Opie. "I've been…selfish." "I've only been looking at my own pain." "I love my kids Tara."

Tara reached up and gently wiped away his tears. "Please don't cry Opie…" "I know you love your children…I know that." "They just need to hear it from you sometimes…"

Opie went silent again just laying there. Tears still rolled down his cheeks. He reached over resting a hand on Tara's face. "I can't do this alone Tara…I need your help." "My mom left...I need help…I need help." said Opie.

"And you have it….you have me." "I will be here every day…every evening." "Every night as long as you need me." "I love hanging out with your kids Opie." said Tara. "And I like hanging out with you when you aren't a drunken ass."

Opie said "Thank you…." Between the booze, the emotion, and Tara ever so gently wiping away Opie's tears his judgment was clouded. He leaned forward his hand still on her face and he kissed her. It was a clumsy kiss at first but soon the kiss turned into a smoldering passionate kiss. Opie's arm moved around Tara drawing her body in close against his body.

Tara was shocked by the kiss and didn't know what to do. She knew she should stop him but somewhere in her head she knew she didn't want to stop him. He was hurting and she wanted to help him.

Opie pulled back and stuttered. "Tara…I-I'm sorry." "I don't know what I was thinking I just…"

"You just wanted to forget about the pain..even if it was just for a little while?" whispered Tara in a barely audible voice. "You don't have to apologize." "I kissed you too." She looked into his eyes the only light illuminating the room came from a street light outside. Tara leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was just as passionate this time around.

Opie pulled Tara's body on top of his as they kissed. They pulled back after awhile breathless both of them looking at one another in the sparse light that the street light provided.

Tara moved in for another kiss this time pulling the trademark hat off of Opie's head and running her fingers through his dirty blond locks.

Opie's hands went to the hem of her shirt to pull it off. He stopped, the drunken haze letting up some. What was he doing? Could he go through with this? Would Tara go through with this?


	3. Chapter 3

Opie pulled up Tara's scrub top as if he were about to take it off but he looked down the hall toward his children's rooms. He knew this was the wrong place. Ellie had the habit of walking up in the middle of the night. He slid Tara's body off of his and stood up.

Tara sat on the floor confused thinking that he had changed his mind about it.

Opie picked her up into his arms and carried her to Piney's rarely used bedroom. His father had been spending most of his time sleeping in his room at the club. Opie closed the bedroom door by kicking it closed. He locked the door behind him and gently set Tara down on the bed. "This is better." said Opie in a low voice. "I need you Tara." whispered Opie. "I need you to be here for me. I won't make it on my own Tara…" He leaned down kissing her and made quick work of the scrubs she was wearing. He was in an awkward position with him being so tall so he moved back and stripped out of his clothes. He took a moment to stand there and admire her body. He couldn't lie on more than one occasion he had wondered what her silky white skin looked like. Opie climbed onto the bed pulling Tara against his body. Opie looked into her eyes and whispered. "Do you want me to stop?"

Tara whispered. "No…"

There in the thunderous night two lifelong friends devoured one another somewhere between grief and love. Lightening from the storm occasionally illuminated the room casting a brief light on their writhing bodies. Muffled moans of ecstasy bounced off the walls of the tiny room but were masked by the thunder and lightning outside. The longer they made love the more intense it all became.

Afterward Opie and Tara laid next to one another in silence. Neither knew what to make of what they had just done. Tara moved to get up but Opie wrapped his arm around her pulling her to him. "Don't go." whispered Opie. "Don't leave me." said Opie.

Tara paused and then nodded although she knew he couldn't see her in the dark. "I won't leave you." said Tara. That statement spoke volumes that neither of them were willing to speak at the moment. She curled up against his large frame and closed her eyes. She laid there listening to the storm and after awhile realized that Opie's breathing had evened out and he started to lightly snore. Tara closed her eyes hoping for a little sleep herself.

A few hours ticked away and the morning arrived.

Opie was the first of the two of them to wake up. He looked over next to him seeing Tara's nude body next to his. Her leg had intertwined with his during the night and her head was rested on his chest right over his heart. He reached over and gently caressed her hair lightly sweeping it away from her face. Looking at Tara inspired so many emotions in Opie. He felt like he had just cheated on Donna, he felt guilty for taking advantage of his best friend, he felt guilty for having sex with his other best friend's ex girlfriend, he was worried that his poor judgment was going to cost his children the only sense of stability they had experience since Donna's death. And on the other hand he felt something he hadn't felt in awhile…peace. He felt comfortable with Tara next to him. Opie laid there for awhile before drifting back off to sleep. He was pretty excited.

Tara woke up and hour later at 9:00 hearing feet moving around the house. She glanced over at the clock seeing what time it was. "Opie!" whispered Tara in a hushed voice. "Wake up!" She got out of bed scrambling around the room to find her discarded clothing.

"What?" asked Opie startled out of his sleep. He sat straight up in the bed looking around.

"We over slept and your kids are awake." said Tara in a panic.

Opie got up and put on his boxers. He walked over to Tara who was frantically getting dressed. "Calm down." said Opie in a soothing voice. "I am going to get dressed and go out there and tell them to get ready for breakfast. I am going to take them to the diner. They love going there." "Once they go to their rooms to get dressed I will let you know that the coast is clear and you can sneak out." "They won't know you stayed the night." said Opie.

Tara nodded and said "Okay Opie." She calmed down now realizing that he had a plan. She took in a breath and looked into his eyes. She was nervous and it wasn't just because his children were awake. She was nervous about what happened between the two of them.

Opie finished getting dressed and said "I will be right back okay?" He walked out of the room closing the door behind him.

He walked into the kitchen seeing Kenny pouring cereal into bowls for himself and Ellie. "You want some cereal dad?" asked Kenny reaching for another bowl.

"No, I was thinking I'd take you and Ellie out for breakfast." "Go tell your sister to get dressed okay." said Opie. "You two can order whatever you want?"

"Wow, really?" asked Kenny excitedly. "What about the cereal?" asked Kenny looking at the bowls filled with Lucky Charms.

"I'll pour it back into the box." said Opie with a chuckle. "Now go." said Opie. Opie took handful of the cereal and ate it.

Kenny ran out of the kitchen. "Ellie! Dad is taking us out for breakfast." yelled Kenny. "Get dressed!"

Opie dumped the cereal back into the box and put it up. He walked back to the room and opened the door. "The coast is clear." said Opie.

"Thanks Opie." said Tara. She hurried into the living room and grabbed her purse and bag and made a dash for the door. She walked out to her car and hopped in quickly. She drove off just as fast.

Opie closed the door and went to wash his face. He looked at himself in the mirror. What had he done? He had just had sex with one of his best friends who just happened to be his other best friend's ex-girlfriend. Sure the two of them were broken up but Jax and Tara had always gotten back together in the past. Opie dried off his face and walked out of the bathroom.

He waited for his kids to finish getting ready before collecting them and taking them to the diner.

After eating breakfast with them he took them over to Gemma's house for awhile. He needed to go home and clear his mind. Opie walked into the house and had a seat on the couch. He kicked off his boots and turned on the television. He needed a distraction from all of the thoughts rattling around in his head.

Just then his father, Piney, walked into the room rolling his oxygen tank. Piney had emphysema from all of his years of smoking but that had not stopped him from smoking, drinking, chasing women, or riding his motorcycle. He chuckled holding up a pair of black lace panties. "I found these in my room….they don't belong to me." said Piney laughing. "Glad to see you enjoyed the company of a woman last night." Piney walked over to his recliner that was positioned closest to the television. He had a seat and turned off his oxygen. He lit up a cigarette. "So how was it boy? You've been celibate for a long time now."

Opie shook his head and grabbed the panties from Piney. He stuffed them into his pocket. "Pops I don't want to talk about it." "Alright?"

"What is the big deal? You've got yourself a nice little sweetbutt." "We've all had them before." "Is she from Caracara?" asked Piney. Caracara was a porn studio run by Luann Delaney. Luann was the old lady of one of the guys in SAMCRO so when her business was being threatened by a competitor the guys had become her partners in her business providing her with security, a new studio space, and some starting capital. All of the guys in SAMCRO made it a habit of spending time with the young women who worked with Luann. Opie had not taken advantage of the situation though.

"No, she's not from Caracara." said Opie. "Pop don't worry about who it was okay?"

"Well, I think I deserve some information you screwed her in my bed." said Piney chuckling. He looked at Opie. "You okay boy? You ain't looking too good."

"I just want to sit here and watch TV. I don't want to talk about what happened okay?" asked Opie.

"I am just saying that you can't let yourself get so worked up over pu…" said Piney

Opie cut him off. "Don't call her that!" "She's a great girl." "I've got to get out of here." "I'll be back later." said Opie. Opie put his boots back on and got up. He slammed the front door on his way out. He climbed on his motorcycle and drove off needing to put some space between him and his father at the moment. He needed to think and he couldn't do that with Piney talking to him. Opie rode around for awhile before finally pulling up at a little used, run down park. He got off of his motorcycle and walked over to a picnic table to sit down when he noticed someone sitting on the swings.

The swing set was as rundown as the park. There were supposed to be five swings but there were only two left. Tara was perched on one of the swings kicking her legs back and forth. She was holding onto the chains not really looking at anything in particular. Her purse was sitting on the ground next to her.

Opie walked over and said "Hey…"

Tara looked up and smiled. "Hey…" "How'd you know I was here?" asked Tara.

"I didn't know…" "I came here to think." said Opie. "I guess you did too huh?" asked Opie watching Tara swing back and forth.

Tara nodded and said "I guess great minds think alike."

"Or dysfunctional ones at least." said Opie. "Remember when we used to sneak out at night and come here to hang out?"

Tara nodded and said "It was like this was our little get away. You, me, and Jax…we could forget the world and come here." "Leave everything bad behind us."

"Only thing missing is a couple of bottles of Irish Whiskey and some music." said Opie jokingly.

Tara chuckled and reached down into her purse and pulled out a bottle of Irish Whiskey. "Nothing better in the world." "It burns like lighter fluid but man…it can help you forget anything." "My dad told me that…the Gaelic word for whiskey translated into the water of life….there might be some truth to it."

Opie shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the metal frame of the swing set. "Oh...you left these." said Opie handing her the pair of black lace panties she had left behind.

Tara nodded and tucked them into her purse. "Yeah I realized they were missing when I got home." "I was in such a rush." "Thanks for giving them to me." Tara opened the bottle of whiskey and took a sig. She winced a little and said "There are a lot of good memories here."

"Yeah there are…was this place always this run down?" asked Opie looking around at the overgrown grass and the broken playground toys.

Tara chuckled a little and said "Pretty much." "But I don't think it mattered. It was still a refuge for us in our teenage angst." "Do you hate me Opie?" asked Tara feeling tears welling up in her eyes. She refused to look in his direction. She just kept swinging back and forth staring off into space.

Tara's question took him by surprise. "What are you talking about Tara?" "Why would I hate you?" asked Opie confused.

Tara shook her head and said "Forget it." She picked up the bottle of whiskey and took another sig.

"Tara talk to me…please." said Opie. He moved in front of her and stopped her swing from moving. "Look at me…I could never hate you."

"I took advantage of you…of your grief. How can you even look at me Ope?" asked Tara looking at the ground tears slipping down her cheeks. "I was sober. I knew what I was doing. I should have stopped you." "I should have said no."

"Hey…." "Look at me." said Opie this time more forcefully. He tilted her chin up so that she was looking at him. "You did not take advantage of me Tara…if anything I took advantage of you. I took advantage of your kindness. I knew when I asked you if you wanted me to stop…that there was no way you'd say no to me…not after I had said that I needed you." "I knew what I was doing and I wanted you." "I wanted you to take away my pain." "And you did." "After feeling dead on the inside for so long…you made me feel alive even if it was just for a little while."

"You didn't take advantage of me Opie…I needed you too. I needed to feel whole." said Tara.

Opie had a seat on the swing next to her and the chains creaked as he did. He chuckled and said "Damn, I might need to lose some weight. It sounds like I am going to snap the chains on this thing." "Thank you for being there for me last night when I needed you." "You could have easily left but…you were there."

She chuckled a little wiping away her tears. "You are fine just the way you are. You are a big ole hunk of man." "You are my friend Opie. I will always be there for you." "I couldn't leave you like that." She reached over and took his hand squeezing it. She interlaced their fingers together looking had how his large fingers seemed to dwarf hers.

Opie looked down at their hands and just sat there with her like that with her in silence.

Tara leaned over and kissed Opie looking at him. "You mean a lot to me Opie. You always have." "You were my first real crush you know." said Tara looking off into the distance.

Opie looked at her and said "Are you serious? I always thought that Jax was the one."

"Oh sure I loved Jax as we got older." "But I had the biggest crush on you first." "You never seemed to notice me though…." said Tara.

"I noticed you plenty Tara but even back then I knew better than to try to take what belonged to Jax. He's been like a brother to me my whole life. I knew the trouble it would cause if I tried to date you back then." "Although I never realized that you were interested in me." "I didn't imagine that I was your type." "Still don't I guess." He looked at her oddly for a moment. "This isn't some plot for you to get back at Jax is it?" asked Opie looking as if a light bulb had gone off in his head. "The coming over everyday looking after the kids. The sex last night?" "Are you trying to get back at Jax for cheating on you?" "I mean you were pretty pissed after it happened at first." "I know you and Jax are supposed to be cool now but…" "Are you using me to get back at him?"

Tara sat there stunned for a moment before slapping Opie hard across the face. "You think that I have been busting my ass picking up your kids from school, helping them with their homework, doing your laundry, cooking, cleaning your house all to get back at Jax?" "I was sitting here beating myself up because I felt bad. I was scared I had made your grief worse by sleeping with you." "Is it too much of a shock for you to believe that I could have had a crush on you." "That I could have loved you as more than just my friend." "Screw you." said Tara getting up. She grabbed her purse and walked off.

"Tara wait!" said Opie scrambling to his feet quickly making the old swing set creak loudly.

"Go to straight to hell Winston!" screamed Tara as she stormed off to her car. She threw her bag into the window of the car.

Opie walked after her making up the distance between them easily with his long strides. He grabbed her arms and said "Just wait a damn minute!" "I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that." "I'm an idiot okay." "I know you aren't that type of person." "My head is just all messed up right now." "I am sorry that I hurt your feelings." said Opie. "Can you forgive me?"

"You didn't hurt my feelings you pissed me off." said Tara punching him in the gut.

He groaned in pain and said "For such a small woman you hit like a man."

Tara went to punch him again but this time he grabbed her fist. "I am sorry for pissing you off." said Opie. "Where did you learn to hit like that anyway?"

"I had a drunken Irish father. Insert stereotype here." said Tara. "The one good thing he taught me was how to fight." said Tara.

"Do you accept my apology?" asked Opie. He leaned his head down and rested his forehead onto hers.

Tara said "Yeah…I'll accept your apology. But next time I will kick your ass Harry Opie Winston." She smirked a little knowing how he hated when anyone used his full name.

Opie groaned and said "I hate that name you know." He leaned in and kissed her on the lips forgetting for a moment that they were in a public place. He let her hand go and his arms circled around her waist.

As they were kissing Tig rode by the park and spotted Opie and then noticed Tara's car. Opie's body was in front of Tara so Tig couldn't see if it was Tara but he was damn sure it was her car. He chuckled to himself he couldn't wait to get to the club and tell the guys about this one.

After the kiss Tara smiled up at Opie and said "You are a better kisser when you aren't sloppy drunk." She laughed at him.

"I didn't hear you complaining last night." retorted Opie with a grin. "Why don't you come over and have dinner with me and the kids tonight." "And you won't even have to cook." "I'll throw some burgers on the grill for all of us."

Tara smiled and said "Sure Opie I'd like that." "I'd like it a lot." said Tara with a smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Tara arrived at Opie's house around 7:00 for dinner with him and the kids. She walked up to the front door carrying a couple of bags and a cake carrier. She shifted everything in her arms and leaned forward using her elbow to ring the doorbell.

Opie was standing on the deck at the back of the house drinking a beer and checking on the burgers that he was grilling for dinner. He heard the doorbell and called around from the back of the house. "Back here!"

Tara chuckled and walked around the side of the house to the backyard. She was greeted by the sight of Kenny and Ellie playing soccer in the backyard. She smiled seeing the two of them playing together. "Hi Ellie. Hi Kenny." said Tara.

Ellie looked up seeing Tara walking into the backyard and kicked the ball back to Kenny before waving at Tara. "Auntie Tara!" said Ellie running over to her. "Hi!" said Ellie hugging her waist.

Kenny just waved at Tara and smiled seeing the cake carrier. "You brought cake?" "What kind is it?" asked Kenny rushing over to get a peek at the cake.

Tara laughed and said "It is chocolate cake with chocolate icing and you can't have any until after dinner kiddo."

Opie chuckled watching Tara with the kids and walked down from the deck and said "Here let me help you with these bags." "What all did you bring with you?" "I told you I was making dinner."

"I know you said that you were making dinner but I made chocolate cake and picked up vanilla ice cream for dessert. Besides I brought a salad to go with the meat you are grilling." " said Tara. "Oh and I brought by some of my old books for Ellie." said Tara. "Apparently, she is in love with the Nancy Drew mystery books. And I just happen to have the entire collection."

"Well, thank you for bringing dessert and something healthy to go with the meat." said Opie. "Here let me take this stuff from you and I will take it into the house." Opie took the bags from her and headed into the house.

Tara followed him inside carrying the ice cream and cake. She put the ice cream in the freezer and put the cake away. "Those burgers smell good Opie. You still know your way around a grill I see." said Tara. "How have the kids been today?" asked Tara leaning against the counter.

"They've been good." said Opie. "I picked them up from Gemma's place earlier and we hung out for awhile." "Kenny wanted to show off his soccer and basketball skills." "The kid has talent." "I didn't know he was any good at either one." "Ellie had fun with us too." "Thanks for letting her borrow your books by the way." "The kid is smart. A hell of a lot smarter than her old man." "Kenny is smart too if he could manage to stay out of trouble." "His latest suspension ends when?"

Tara smiled and said "I am glad to hear that you spent time with them today Opie." "I know that had to mean a lot to them." "They both look incredibly happy." "Oh you don't have to thank me for the books Opie. I am glad to help out. Reading those books always brought me a lot of joy. I just hope that they can do the same for Ellie." "And don't be so modest you were always a lot smarter than you gave yourself credit for." "You probably would have been a straight A student if you actually went to school all of the time." "Kenny can go back to school Monday." "Did you talk to him about the fighting?" "Kenny is a good kid Opie. He just has a lot of anger built up in him right now." "He just isn't expressing it in the right way." "Maybe you could get him into sports or something."

"Getting him into sports might not be a bad idea." Opie laughed and said "I was too cool. Too cool for school." "But hey you skipped school too." "I talked to him about the fighting and told him to knock it off but…who knows if he will listen." "Do you want a beer?" asked Opie grabbing her one from the refrigerator and opening it.

Tara chuckled and said "Oh yeah but not nearly as much as you did and I made sure I caught up with my work." "I needed an education. I wanted out of this town and I knew going to college was my only way out." "Thanks." said Tara taking the beer and drinking it.

"Why did you come back here?" "I thought you hated it here in Charming…" said Opie looking at her. He had been wondering about that since Tara had come back to town. He had always been so sure that she would never come back.

"My reason for running was gone. My dad was dead…I was a lot older and I realized that I could do a lot of good at the hospital here." "And more than anything else I realized…home is always going to be home. No matter how far you run..no matter how long you are away." "Home is still home and it will always call you back."

"You know I moved away for awhile when Mary and my Pops broke up." "She took me away for a year or so. But as soon as I was legal I came right back. Charming is my home. And as much as Mary hated it I never wanted anything more than being a member of SAMCRO." "I knew what I wanted to be when I was five years old."

"A badass biker hmm?" asked Tara with a smile. "Yeah it was hard on me and Jax when you moved away." "It just wasn't the same. We weren't the three musketeers anymore." "And by the time you came back I was getting ready to leave for college." "I had gotten arrested several times already…I was lucky I left when I did."

"It was weird when I came back and you weren't here anymore." "But I am glad you came back. I know I've been too drunk to say it lately…but you've been a lifesaver since Mary took off." "I don't know how I can repay you for taking care of my kids…hell for taking care of me." said Opie. "I know it couldn't be easy taking care of a drunk…after all of the stuff that happened with your dad." said Opie looking at her with compassionate eyes.

"All you have to do to repay me is live well, take care of your kids, give them a better childhood than we had." said Tara. Tara's eyes saddened a little. "You are nothing like my father Opie." "I wouldn't let you become that if I had any power at all." She smiled and took another swig of her beer. "I am going to go out and play soccer with the kids. I've got a few good moves in me." She smiled and headed outside. "Hey guys! I want to play!"

Opie walked out on the deck and watched Tara play soccer with Ellie and Kenny. He smiled seeing how much fun all three of them were having. Watching the kids that day had made him realize just how much of their lives he had missed in the months since Donna's death.

Opie's cell phone rang and he answered it after looking at the caller ID. "What's up Jax?" asked Opie leaning on the deck watching the kids and Tara.

"Hey, I was calling to see if you wanted to go to the bar tonight?" "My mom is watching Abel so I can hang out with you tonight if you want." said Jax. Jax had been trying to keep Opie out of trouble but it had been tough. Opie had been getting drunk every night at different bars and Jax couldn't always be there.

"Thanks for the offer man but I think I am going to stay here with the kids tonight." "Eat some burgers and watch a movie or something." "Maybe tomorrow night though." said Opie. Opie felt wrong for purposely leaving out that Tara was there with him.

"That's good brother. I am glad to hear you are spending time with the kids. You know mom has been on my ass about talking to you about spending time with Kenny and Ellie. They are my godchildren so you better take care of them." "Do you want me to come over and hang with you?" "I don't have anything to do tonight anyway."

Opie said "Uh…nah that is cool you should go have fun or something." "I am alright over here." "I'll talk to you tomorrow Jax." "Thanks for checking on me."

"Always Ope. You're my brother." said Jax. "I'll see you tomorrow." Jax hung up.

Opie set the phone down on the counter shaking his head. What was he getting himself into? Opie finished off that beer and opened another. Opie took a few sips before going out into the backyard to play soccer with Kenny, Ellie, and Tara.

After a nice game they settled in for dinner and then had dessert as they watched a movie. By the time the movie was over Ellie was fast asleep and Kenny was tired. Tara helped get Ellie to bed and then said goodnight to Kenny.


	5. Chapter 5

After the kids went to bed Tara was in the kitchen washing the dishes. "You really need to get this dishwasher fixed Opie. I am starting to get dish pan hands when I am over here." "I think I've washed more dishes here than at my own house." teased Tara. "You could atleast dry the dishes you know." said Tara tossing the dry towel at him.

He chuckled as the towel hit him. Opie chuckled and leaned against the counter drinking his beer and watching Tara move around the kitchen. He smiled watching her and said "I think you look good standing at the sink washing the dishes." He smirked and said "What is that about being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen?"

Tara laughed and said "I am not pregnant." "But I am barefoot and in the kitchen." said Tara laughing and wiggling her toes against the cold floor tiles. "You are such a chauvinist Opie." said Tara spraying him briefly with the hose from the sink. She laughed realizing that more water had come out than she had anticipated and his face and shirt were soaked. "Oops! I am so sorry Opie." said Tara laughing at him.

Opie laughed and nearly dropped his bottle of beer. "Hey!" He sat the bottle on the counter and said "You are going to pay for that." He walked over to the sink grabbing the sprayer from her and sprayed her. He managed to soak her from head to toe.

Tara sputtered and darted away from him slipping on the wet kitchen floor and landing on her butt. She laughed and said "You don't play fair." "You overpowered me."

He chuckled and said "You started it." "Are you okay?"asked Opie with a smile. He put the sprayer down and leaned down offering her a hand.

Tara took his hand and stood up with a laugh. "You are so mean to me." She chuckled and said "I am soaked Opie! Look at me." Her tank top clung to her wet body and her hair was soaking wet.

Opie laughed and said "I am sorry." "Listen you can go in my room and change." "I will clean up all of the water in here." said Opie with a smile.

Tara laughed and said "Thanks Opie." Tara walked out of the kitchen and made her way to his bedroom to find something to change into. Tara dried off and then looked through Opie's drawers for something to wear. She finally found an AC/DC t-shirt that would be long enough and pulled it on. She went into his bathroom and blow dried her hair and then collected her wet clothes and went to the kitchen. She chuckled seeing Opie mopping the floor.

Opie looked up from the floor hearing her footsteps. "Did you find everything o…." He stopped in mid sentence seeing his baggy t-shirt on Tara that stopped at her mid thigh. She looked so sexy to him in that moment with her freshly blowdried hair swept to one side.

Tara nodded and said "Sure I found everything." "I am just going to pop these into the washer so that I can put them back on and go home after they wash and dry." said Tara tip toeing through the kitchen and into the laundry room. She tossed her clothes in the washer and then came back out and asked. "Do you need any help?"

"No, I think that I have everything covered." "Why don't you have a beer and chill out in the living room while I finish in here?" asked Opie.

Tara smiled and said "Thanks Opie." Tara grabbed herself a beer and then went to the living room. She turned on the television and sat on the couch relaxing with her beer. She looked down and realized the shirt wasn't quite as long as she thought it was. She looked around and spotted a flannel blanket on the back of the couch and grabbed it.

Opie arrived in the room a few minutes later. "I managed to get all of the water up that you put down there." teased Opie.

"That I?" asked Tara incredulously. "I just sprayed you a little bit." "You gave me a shower in your kitchen!" "Even my underwear got wet from the water!" said Tara. "You do not play fair." said Tara laughing.

Opie chuckled and said "Well, I cleaned it up so I think that makes us even." He sat there thinking a moment about her being naked under that t-shirt.

Tara laughed and said "We are not even close to even Winston." "I am going to get you back when you least expect it."

Opie noticed the blanket and asked. "Are you cold?"

"A little. But mostly I realized the shirt was a little short on me." said Tara. "I don't want to be flashing you."

"It ain't nothing I haven't already seen." said Opie with a smirk.

Tara blushed and said "Well, I guess that is true now."

Opie wrapped an arm around her and said "I am only joking with you." "We should watch a movie until your clothes are dry." Opie turned around for awhile before settling on and old western. What was supposed to be a 30 minute wait turned into Tara and Opie falling asleep together on the couch. Opie woke up two hours later and looked next to him realizing that Tara was sound asleep. He chuckled to himself and picked her up gently and carried her to Piney's room. He laid her down on the bed and she started to wake up.

Tara opened her eyes. "What time is it?" asked Tara sitting up.

"It is about midnight. We both fell asleep." "Why don't you just stay the night tonight?" "I can sneak you out in the morning again." "We never switched your clothes over to the dryer so they are still wet."

"I don't know Opie…" said Tara. "What if we get caught…? This could all be very confusing for Kenny and Ellie."

"I have it under control." said Opie. "Stay the night…I want you to. Please?" asked Opie.

Tara smiled a little and said "Alright." "But we set the alarm clock so I can get out of here before they wake up in the morning."

Opie said "Sure, you have a deal." Opie kicked off his boots and stripped down to his boxers before climbing into the bed with Tara. He turned on the lamp next to the bed.

Tara snuggled in close to Opie's body and relaxed. Tara knew that she was in trouble. Spending time with Opie like this was definitely having an effect on her. She had always loved her childhood friend but taking care of him and his family lately had made her feel like she was falling in love with him and that was a very dangerous prospect. Opie was still grieving for his wife he wasn't ready for a real relationship. Tara on the other hand was ready to give him her whole heart.

Opie broke the silence that hung in the room. "I think tonight is the first night I didn't get drunk." "I think today is the first day when my first thought wasn't…oh god…Donna's dead." "I have you to thank for that Tara." "Thank you for being my friend."

And there it was…that six letter word…friend. Tara kissed his cheek. "I am proud of you Opie. I know it isn't easy and you will have hard days. But it is good to see you trying." "Ellie and Kenny both lit up when they told me about spending the evening with you." "I know it may seem simple but it means a lot to them." "Just keep up the good work."

"I wouldn't have even gotten this far without your help Tara." He lightly brushed her hair away from her face. "You are so beautiful you know." said Opie with a smile. Opie leaned in and kissed her softly. "You look pretty cute in my shirt too."

Tara laughed softly and asked "Is that right?" "I do happen to like this shirt. I just might have to swipe it from you when I go home in the morning." said Tara. She returned his kiss feeling drawn to him.

Opie's hands went to the hem of the t-shirt and pulled it up over her head. Opie paused a moment to make sure he hadn't overstepped a boundary. "Is this okay?"asked Opie wondering if the last night had just been out pity. "You know…you don't have to have sex with me every time you stay the night." said Opie. "I just like having you here with me."

Tara said "It is more than okay Opie." "I want to be with you." said Tara. That statement had more than one meaning.

Opie grinned as those words fell from Tara's lips. Opie pulled Tara's body against his and kissed her passionately. There was just something about her soft skin that drove him crazy. Everything about Tara drove him crazy. Maybe it was because she was the first person he had slept with since Donna died. Or maybe it was because she had been taking care of all of his other needs. But being with Tara set off a sort of fire in him that he thought had died along with Donna. Opie focused on Tara's pleasure wanting to ensure that she enjoyed their time together. Try as he might he couldn't remember much about his performance the previous night and he was intent on making sure his encore was the best. It didn't take long for their two bodies to melt into one another.

Tara bit her lip in vain to stifle the moans coming from her. Every noise seemed to echo in the eerily silent house. Tara tried to convince herself that this was just another romp in the hay but the raw intensity that each of them felt could not be denied. The lamp next to the bed cast a glow over their bodies. As they neared their end Tara let a single word slip past her clenched lips. "Opie…."

The door to the bedroom swung open and there stood Opie's father, Piney. Piney had decided to come home and sleep in his own bed for once. He chuckled and said "Good for you son." "That is the way to move on." cheered Piney.

Opie froze in place hearing the door open behind them. Opie slid off of Tara making sure that she was covered by a sheet atleast. "Pops, can you go sit in the living room or something?" asked Opie pulling a blanket over himself. He looked to make sure Tara was covered and she had a mortified look on her face. If she had turned any redder she would have looked like a beet.

"What the hell is going on….are you out of your damn mind?" asked Piney shaking his head. "You are screwing Tara?" asked Piney. "Tig told me he saw you with Tara today but I knew he had to be confused!" "My son wouldn't be stupid enough to screw the V.P's old lady!" "The sex with her can't be that good to risk what you're risking." "Hell, there are a dozen sexier women working over at Caracara if you just need to release the tension boy."

Tara said "I should go." She got up trying to keep the sheet around her.

"Pops! Get out of here now." said Opie in a near growl. Anger flashed in his eyes letting Piney know that he had crossed a line.

Piney walked out of the room closing the door behind him.

"Tara I am so sorry. I must have forgotten to lock the door." said Opie shaking his head. He got out of the bed and pulled on his boxers. "Are you okay?"asked Opie going over to her.

Tara shook her head. "Piney is right….this could cause a lot of trouble between you and Jax and I don't want that Opie."

"He is a crazy old man and doesn't know what he is talking about." "I am sorry that he upset you." "But I don't care what he thinks. I want you here." "I like having you here with me." "I like making love to you." said Opie looking at her.

Tara looked at him when he said 'making love'. Was that actually what he felt like they were doing or was it just a polite way of saying sex? Because sex and making love were two very different things in Tara's opinion. "I should get out of here. You and Piney need to talk."

"You don't need to go anywhere." said Opie. "I want you to go to my bedroom." "And wait for me please." "I don't want you to leave just because of what the old man said." "I still want you to stay the night." Opie picked up his AC/DC shirt and handed it to her. He hugged her tightly. "It's okay." He kissed her forehead. "It is going to be okay."

Tara looked at him a moment and then nodded. "Okay." She pulled on his shirt and then wrapped the sheet around her. "This shirt isn't long enough." She kissed his cheek and took a breath opening the bedroom door and slipping out of the room. She made her way down the hall to Opie's room not even looking in Piney's direction. She closed the door behind her and had a seat on the bed.

Opie watched her walk away and waited until she was out of sight. He punched a wall angrily and then finished getting dressed. He walked into the living room. "I want you to remember one thing." "This is my house…and I can do whatever I want in my house." "Don't you ever insult Tara like that again or you can go back to your old run down house." said Opie in a tone he never used with his father.

Piney was having a glass of gin. "Hell, I am sorry son. I didn't mean to offend Tara. She's a good girl. I always did like that kid." "My fears just got the best of me and I overreacted." "You are my son. I don't want anything bad happening to you." "Especially, not a feud between you and Jax." "I've seen what can happen when one man wants another's ones woman." "John Teller and Clay were the best of friends but when John got concerned that Clay was a little too interested in Gemma…it nearly split their friendship up." "Clay nearly went nomad." "It took a lot of healing and Gemma's intervention to shut down a feud that could have broken up the club….or could have gotten Clay killed." "John was my best friend and even though he loved Clay like a brother…he would have put a bullet in Clay's head if he thought that he was after Gemma." "I've known Jax since he was a baby...he's got that same streak in him." "Got it from his daddy and his mama…they'll kill to protect what is theirs." "Nomad ain't a place I want to see you…."

Nomad was a special kind of hell that happened when you left your home charter. The nomad members of SAMCRO were scattered all over the northern portion of California. They had meetings every couple of weeks but all in all they were on their own. There were no club members to have their back and that could be dangerous because being a member of SAMCRO meant you had enemies…a lot of enemies.

"I know you are worried about me. But you don't have anything to worry about. I can handle myself and I can handle Jax." said Opie. "He's my best friend and he and Tara aren't even together anymore." "On more than one occasion we've hooked up with the same girl."

"But this isn't just some girl." "This is Tara Knowles." "The girl he's loved since high school." "You can lie to me son." "But don't go fooling yourself into believing the bullshit you are spewing." Piney finished his glass of gin. "I am going to go get in my bed if that is okay."

"I will change the sheets. Sorry for being rude to you old man…I just…" said Opie.

"You ain't got nothing to apologize for." "And don't worry I can change the sheets on my own." "Goodnight." said Piney getting up from his recliner and walking to his bedroom. "Just…don't underestimate what a man will do when he might lose the woman he loves." His bedroom was right off the living, whereas the rest of the rooms were in the back of the house.

Opie nodded and said "Goodnight Pops." He watched Piney go into the room and close the door. "But what if I love her too?"asked Opie to an empty room. Opie had a seat on the couch putting his head in his hands.


	6. Chapter 6

Tara sat alone on Opie's bed with the sheet clutched around her. She looked at the bed that Opie couldn't bring himself to sleep in and felt as if she was disrespecting him somehow. She got off of the bed and went over to the chaise lounge in the corner of the bedroom and had a seat. She turned on the small radio that was sitting on the table next to the chaise. She kept the volume low so that she didn't disturb the children down the hall. Tara needed something other than the silence in the room to occupy her mind. There were too many thoughts racing through her head at the moment. Tara closed her eyes listening to the classic rock station and felt herself drifting off to sleep.

After thirty minutes alone in the living room Opie finally managed to get off of the couch. Opie went to the laundry room and put Tara's clothes in the dryer. He then walked back to his bedroom and opened the door and heard the music playing. Opie walked into the room and closed the door behind him. "Tara, are you still awake?" asked Opie as he walked over to the chaise lounge.

Tara opened her eyes and nodded. "Sure, I am woke Opie." "I was just resting my eyes and listening to the music." She reached over and turned the radio off. "Is everything okay with you and Piney?"  
asked Tara concerned.

Opie nodded and said "Sure…we both said what we had to say and that was that." "He's gone to bed for the night now." "I put your clothes in the dryer so they will be ready for you in the morning." Opie made sure that he said 'in the morning'. He wanted Tara to know that he still had not changed his mind. He wanted her to stay the night with him.

"Okay. Thank you Opie." said Tara. "You know Piney was right…this could cause problems that neither one of us want." "Problems that you don't need right now." "Jax is your best friend I will not be the cause of the two of you being angry with one another." "You are both my friends…" "And what about the kids..all of this could be very confusing for them." "We can pretend like this…never happened." "Like we never…"

Opie kissed her to stop her from talking. He pulled back after the kiss and lightly caressed her cheek.

"Opie…" started Tara.

Opie kissed her again this time more forcefully. "Stop talking." said Opie. "You let me worry about the situation with Jax." "I will tell him when I am good and ready." "And I will handle whatever the fallout may be from it." "I don't want you to worry about it…" "You didn't…we didn't do anything wrong." said Opie. "I've always cared about you Tara and if Jax hadn't been interested in you…I would have asked you out when we were younger." "I took a step back then…but he's had his chance…three strikes and he is out." "He doesn't have claim on you forever." "Jax and I are friends and no matter what has happened between us we have always found a way to make it right." "We're brothers and that is what brothers do." Opie wasn't sure that he believed that completely but he didn't want Tara worrying about something she couldn't control and he wasn't ready to stop seeing her either. "And as far as the kids…what could be wrong with the kids waking up to Auntie Tara cooking them breakfast a few times a week." "You are here every day anyway…what is wrong with a few nights?"

Tara didn't know what to do. Opie was saying all the right words. He was saying everything she needed to hear. "I don't know what we are…or where this is going. But I'd like to find out." said Tara. "You were my first crush Opie and on more than one occasion I've wondered…what if?" "What if you had asked me out that night instead of Jax?" "I mean I know everything happens for a reason…" "I just…I don't want you to throw away your friendship with Jax for…a fling with me."

"A fling? That is what you think you are to me?" "I don't have a crystal ball. I don't know what the future holds. But I do know that I care about you enough that I want to find out what we could be together." "Tonight was great." "Spending time with you and the kids." "Spending time with just you." "It felt right Tara." "More right than anything has felt in months." "Even in my worst days of being drunk and depressed…just seeing you..made my day a little better." "I can't promise you forever but I can promise that I will do my best to never harm you." "I know how guarded you keep your heart." "I know how scared you are of being hurt again." "I know how broken your childhood left you." "I'd never do anything to make it worse."

"Maybe that is why I was always so drawn to you. Even though you had fun and…caroused with Jax…I always knew that you were broken too." "For different reasons…but definitely broken." "I don't want to be broken anymore Opie…" "Sometimes I feel like if I break anymore…the only thing left of me will be dust." "I ran so far away to get away from the pain but it just followed me…because it is inside of me…" "You've always understood that about me."

"Well, I saw it firsthand that night of the carnival. I took you home in my car because Jax was wasted and couldn't drive." "I drove off and left you there with your dad…but then I realized you left your jacket in the car and I came back to bring it to you." Opie thought back t the night. "I walked up to the house and heard screaming and glass breaking…." "I didn't even think about it…I just reacted. I kicked in the door and saw you…cowering in the corner in the living room while your father was on a tear." "I just lost it…I threw him into that old bookcase of his. Him and the bookcase went over…" "I was about to beat him to death when you grabbed my fist…."

Tara looked at him as he talked. "I was scared you were going to kill him. I had never seen that look in your eyes before." "And when you saw his hand prints on my arm…" said Tara shaking her head.

"The look on your face was the only thing that kept me from killing him…you look terrified of me…" said Opie.

"I wasn't scared of you Opie…I was scared of losing you. I was scared you'd go to prison for killing him and I'd never see you again." said Tara. "I just wanted to get out of there."

"And so we did…I took you back to my parent's house and we stayed up the whole night…just talking…about everything except what was important…everything except what happened that night." said Tara.

"My dad steered clear of me for a few weeks after that. He wouldn't even talk to me." said Tara.

"I talked to him the next day and told him that if I even thought he had laid a hand on you I would kill him and make sure his body would never be found." "And I meant it." said Opie.

"He never…hit me Opie." "It was just yelling and pulling me around when he was drunk…" said Tara.

Opie caressed her cheek and wiped away a few stray tears that had fallen from her eyes. Opie said "I didn't believe you back then when you told me that…and I don't believe you now." "Maybe one day…you'll trust me enough to tell me the truth…the whole truth." "I've always had your back Tara and I always will." "I've only been able to count on a few people in my life." "And I can count them on two hands." "We owe it to ourselves to see where this goes." "Just give us a cha…." Opie was cut off by Tara kissing him.

Tara kissed him softly and smiled afterwards. "Stop talking." She kissed him again and then just hugged him.

Opie stood there holding Tara in his arms for what seemed like forever. He finally said "it is getting late…it will be morning before we know it." "We should get some sleep." Opie turned his attention to his bed. He still didn't know if he could bring himself to sleep in that bed.

Tara followed his gaze and said "A pillow and a couple of blankets on the floor will be just fine." She knew he wasn't ready for that step and she wasn't about to push him.

Opie smiled at her and said "Thank you Tara." He walked over to his closet and pulled out a couple of extra blankets and a few pillows.

Tara spread two of the blankets on the floor stacked on top of one another to give a little cushion. She laid down and said "It is comfier than some of the other sleeping arrangements I have had." Opie handed Tara the pillows and then went to the door and locked it. He walked back over and stripped down to his boxers and got down on the floor with Tara. He laid back against the pillows with his hands behind his head.

Tara snuggled up against him with her head against his chest. She traced the tattoo on his chest. "Goodnight Opie." said Tara.

"Goodnight Tara." said Opie kissing the top of her head.

Tara woke up at 6:00 in the morning. She got up from the floor and tip toed into the laundry room to grab her clothes. She headed back into the room quietly so she didn't wake up Opie and got a shower. She got dressed and then went to the kitchen to get some water when she ran into Piney putting on the coffee for the day. "Oh sorry…" said Tara about to leave the kitchen.

Piney said "You don't have to run off Doc…" "Stay and have a cup of coffee with me."

"I…I have to wake up Kenny and Ellie for school soon." said Tara not really wanting to talk to Piney after his outburst last night.

"Listen…can you forgive an old man who had one too many to drink?" "I didn't mean half of what I said…well at least not the way I said it." said Piney.

"It is fine Piney…you were just worried about Opie." said Tara. "He's been through a bad stretch lately..the last thing he needs is more problems."

"It wasn't my place to say…" said Piney. "I can't say anything about relationships." "I cheated on Mary and drank so much that she finally left me." "And no matter what I try..I've never been able to get her to come back to me." "So…don't listen to me." "If you make my boy happy…well then that is what counts to me." "And I'll be right there if he catches flack for it."

Tara nodded and said "Thank you Piney." "I better go wake up the kids." Tara went and woke up Kenny first and then woke up Ellie. She went into the kitchen and started breakfast for the kids while Piney sat in the kitchen reading his paper.

Opie woke up after awhile and realized that Tara wasn't there. He frowned thinking that she had left the house. He got up and showered and then got dressed and headed into the kitchen for coffee. He smiled seeing Tara serving breakfast to Piney and the kids. "Good Morning." said Opie with a smile.

"Hi daddy!" "Auntie Tara came over to make breakfast." said Ellie at the table eating an orange as Tara set breakfast in front of her.

"Well, that is very nice of her." said Opie getting himself a cup of coffee.

Tara smiled and said "I made hash browns, scrambled eggs, and toast." "Are you hungry Ope?" asked Tara.

He chuckled and said "Do you even have to ask that?"

Tara laughed and said "Sorry." Tara fixed a plate for Opie and handed it to him before having a seat at the table with everyone. "So Kenny are you excited about going back to school today?"

Kenny nodded and said "Yeah, I kind of missed my friends." "Besides hanging out with Aunt Gemma all day at the office was not fun."

Opie laughed and said "Well, good maybe you will stop fighting and getting kicked out of school."

Piney said "Hell boy you got kicked out a hell of a lot more than he has."

Opie chuckled and shook his head. "Pops you aren't helping." "Don't be like me Kenny." "I bust my butt in a garage for eight to ten hours a day." "I come home covered in oil and grime every day. I want something better for you and Ellie."

"I want to be a doctor like Auntie Tara." said Ellie as she ate breakfast.

Opie smiled and said "Well, you are smart enough for it."

Everyone finished eating breakfast and Tara looked at the time. "I should take them to school or we will be late." "Do you want to ride with us Opie?"

Opie said "Sure." "Go get your bags and stuff." said Opie talking to the kids.

"Make sure you have your homework!" called Tara after them since they had both taken off running from the kitchen. Tara cleared the table and stacked the dishes in the sink. She glanced over at Opie.

He laughed and said "I know…I know. I need to get the dishwasher fixed."

Tara and Opie left his house in her car and they dropped Kenny and Ellie off at school.

Once the kids were out of the car he smiled at Tara. "See they were none the wiser about you sleeping over."

Tara chuckled and said "For now…but they are bound to figure it out at some point Opie."

"We will cross that bridge when we get to it." said Opie. "So do you have work?"

"No, my schedule is set for three on and three off. So today is my off day as well." said Tara.

"Well, why don't we go back to my house and hang out for awhile before I go into work for the day?" asked Opie.

Tara smiled and said "I'd like that." Tara drove them back over to Opie's house and parked. They both got out of the car and headed inside. Tara chuckled and said "When are you going to fix the dishwasher?"

He laughed and said "Is that what you really want me to do with my few hours off?" He smiled and said "Alright you've twisted my arm. I will fix the damn thing." Opie went to the garage and got his tools and came back inside heading to the kitchen. He started working on the dishwasher while Tara watched him.

Tara hopped up on the counter having a seat and turned on the radio as she watched Opie fixing the dishwasher. "Looking good Winston!" She laughed.

Carly Simon's song 'You Belong to Me' came on the radio and Tara turned it up loud. "I love this song."

Opie laughed a said "Are you trying to tell me something?" He got up and wiped off his hands. "Do I belong to you?" Opie kissed her and wrapped his arms around her.

Jax had arrived at the house to check in with Opie and to tell him about a road trip in a few days. He went around back when no one answered the front door. Jax opened the back door and walked into the kitchen. He saw that Opie was kissing a woman but it took him a moment to register who that woman was. "Hey Op….." He stopped mid sentence seeing Opie kissing Tara.

Tara pulled back so quickly she hit her head on the kitchen cabinet.

And there they were three best friends staring between one another with 'You Belong to Me' blaring in the background. The song had become strangely appropriate for the occasion.

Jax seemed stunned for a moment before he lunged at Opie fists clenched .

Tara screamed as Jax attacked Opie.


	7. Chapter 7

Jax lunged at Opie with his fist balled up. He punched Opie before his senses could stop him. Seeing Opie there with Tara sent him into a rage. He started pummeling Opie with his fists yelling at him. "How could you do this?" bellowed Jax as he knocked Opie to the ground. "You know how much I love her!"

Opie was shocked by the sudden fight and was caught off guard for the first few seconds but soon enough he started to fight back. He punched Jax in the kidneys a couple of times and then slammed him into the refrigerator. "I don't want to hurt you! But I will." said Opie punching Jax in the face. "You need to back off and we can talk about this like men!"

Tara hopped off of the counter once the fight moved away from her a little. "Opie! Jax! Stop please. Stop before someone gets hurt!" "Stop it!" She screamed as they shoved each other around the kitchen and slammed into things.

Jax shoved Opie back making him fall onto the stove and grabbed his hand slamming it against the stove. "I trusted you! You are my brother. How could you do this?" "How could you betray me like this?" "You know how much I love Tara!" "You know how much I love you?" "You are my brother I would die for you!"

Opie threw Jax off of him and started punching him again. He punched him so hard that Jax hit the floor and slid back taking Opie with him. The two men struggled and fought with one another as the fight moved into the dining room. "Yeah, you love her so much that you cheated on her and let her go for the third time!" "We aren't kids anymore Jax. Everything you see doesn't belong to you!" "I love her!" "After everything you and I have been through! You know I love you!"

"I love her!"said Jax in a rage. "How long has this been going on? How long have you been screwing her behind my back you son of a bitch!" said Jax as they fought.

"Stop fighting!" screamed Tara trying to pull the two of them apart. She was scared that they were going to kill one another. She had only seen them fight a few times but never like this. "Please!" cried Tara in a panic.

Jax and Opie made it back to their feet and Jax ran at Opie and shoved him into the glass French doors that led out to the side yard. Jax didn't realize that Tara was still behind Opie. The force of the shove sent Opie and Tara through the glass sliding doors.

Tara screamed in pain as she went through the glass door and landed on the deck.

Opie landed on top of Tara and was stunned for a moment. He moved off of her quickly. "Oh god…Tara." said Opie. He looked at Tara lying on the deck. The deck was a mess of shattered glass and spots of blood where Tara and Opie had both been cut. But Tara had taken the brunt of the injuries.

Jax stood there in shock for a moment. "Tara! Baby…I'm so sorry." said Jax running over to her side. "Tara..say something please." said Jax kneeling next to her body. "Look what you made me do!" bellowed Jax looking at Jax.

"You've done enough!" said Opie with a growl in Jax's direction. "Tara…baby…Tara." said Opie. He flashed back to the night that he saw Donna dead on the street.

Tara still hadn't moved. The force of breaking the glass door with her body had knocked Tara unconscious.

Gemma arrived at the house carrying groceries for Opie. Since Mary had left town Gemma and tara alternated going to the store to pick up supplies for Opie and the kids. She heard voices on the side of the house so she walked around the side. "Opie, I've got groceries for you to get out of the car." Gemma stopped in her tracks as she rounded the corner. She saw Tara laying on the deck and then looked between her son and Opie who was just like her son. "What have you two done?" asked Gemma dropping the groceries bags and running to the deck. Her heels clicked against the pavement as she raced to Tara's side. Gemma got onto the deck and kneeled next to Tara and felt for a pulse. "She is still alive…" "We need to get her up to see how much damage was done to the back of her." Gemma surveyed her body and saw a shard of glass poking through Tara's arm.

Jax and Opie both just stood there not sure what to do.

"Don't just stand there damnit!"yelled Gemma angrily. "Help me!"

Opie and Jax moved to lift Tara up and they saw more blood underneath Tara. There was a shard of glass sticking out of her back but it didn't look very large.

"We need to get her inside and I am going to take the glass out of her." "I am going to need towels and peroxide to clean the wounds. And band aids… the bigger the better. If Tara's medical bag is here bring it with you." "And you both better pray to God that she wakes up." said Gemma.

Jax and Opie carried Tara's limp body into the house and laid her on the dining room table on her stomach. Opie went to get towels and the peroxide and brought it back to Gemma.

"Ma.." said Jax trying to explain.

"I don't want to hear it Jackson." said Gemma. "I don't care what happened here right now." "Right now I care about making sure that she isn't dead!" Gemma used a towel that Opie set on the table to grip the shard of glass that was lodged in Tara's back. She pulled it out and saw that it was only two inches in length. She set it aside and cleaned the wound with peroxide and then covered it with the one of the large band aids. Gemma started cleaning the other cuts on her back and bandaged them. Gemma looked at the back of Tara's head. "I don't see any cuts or anything." Gemma said "Turn her over so I can take the glass out of her arm."

Opie and Jax turned Tara over like Gemma told them too.

Gemma used the towel again to grip the shard of glass and pulled it from Tara's arm. Gemma used some gauze to wrap Tara's arm. "She needs to lay down and if she doesn't wake up in 30 minutes…then we have to take her to the hospital." "And both of you are going to have to explain to Unser and Hale how this happened." Wayne Unser was the Chief of Police of the Charming Police Department. David Hale was his deputy. David was childhood friend of Jax, Opie, and Tara.

"I'll lay her down in my bedroom." said Opie worriedly.

"The hell you will." said Jax glaring at him.

Gemma said "Lay her on the couch for now and clean up this glass….and get the damn groceries out of my car and off of the ground outside." Gemma looked at her hands seeing them shake a little. If they had to take Tara to the hospital Jax and Opie were going to jail and only then would the police sort out what happened and figure out who was responsible for this.

Opie carried Tara into the living room and laid her on the couch and covered her with a blanket.

Gemma went into the living room and sat on the other end of the sectional couch and watched Tara like a hawk. Gemma had not always gotten along with Tara but since her return to Charming they two had gotten to and understanding and Gemma cared for the girl. The scenario ran through Gemma's mind and she had a pretty good idea of what had happened here. She had seen it before between guys in the club.

The time ticked away slowly but after 15 minutes Tara came too. She groaned in pain and looked around. "God…my head hurts." said Tara quietly.

Gemma got up and walked over to her. "You gave us a scare there for a minute." "How do you feel?" asked Gemma.

"My head hurts…I feel dizzy.." "I might have a concussion." said Tara diagnosing herself. "Are Jax and Opie okay?" asked Tara sitting up remembering what happened right before she blacked out. She screamed in pain because of the cut on her back.

Opie and Jax ran into the room hearing Tara scream.

Gemma said "You need to lay back down." "Jax and Opie are in one piece for right now." "They may not be when I get done with them." "Just worry about yourself for right now." "Do you think you need to go to the hospital?" "You had some glass in your back..I took it out." "I didn't seem like you would need stitches for it." "But your arm is another story."

Tara looked at her arm and said "I am going to need stitches." "Maybe Chibs could stitch me up?" asked Tara. She felt tears collecting in her eyes. She knew if she went to the hospital there would be an investigation launched into what happened.

Gemma nodded and said "Sure thing baby…" "Come on I will take you to the office and have Chibs stitch your arm for you."

Tara nodded and said "Okay…"

"Do you think you can get up on your own?" asked Gemma.

Tara nodded and said "I think so." Tara gingerly stood up crying out in pain but quickly biting her lip. She winced once she was on two feet. "Okay I am ready to go…"

"I'll come with you." said Opie.

"We both will." said Jax glaring at Opie.

Gemma said "Neither of you will." "Both of you stay the hell away for right now." "I think you've both did enough…more than enough." "I'll be sending Clay this way." said Gemma with venom. She helped Tara out to her car and into the back seat. "Don't bleed on my leather girl." said Gemma with a small smile. Gemma closed the door and then walked around to the driver's side and climbed in. Gemma took off for the office without looking back.

Jax and Opie stood on the curb watching Gemma….and more importantly Tara pull away.

They looked at each other and Jax walked off and climbed onto his bike. Opie turned and walked back into the house.


	8. Chapter 8

Tara sat in Gemma's office at the garage after Chibs stitched her arm for her.

Gemma took off her leather jacket and hung it on the back of her desk chair. Gemma set two glasses on her desk and poured both of them a glass of whiskey. "I figured you could use this right about now." said Gemma having a seat behind her desk.

Tara picked up the glass and took two gulps finishing it off easily. "Thank you Gemma…" She set the glass back down on Gemma's desk and said "Another glass would be good." Tara wanted something to numb the pain in her arm and back.

Gemma refilled Tara's glass and then put the top back on the bottle. Gemma looked over at Tara and said "So, why don't you start by telling me what the hell happened over there today?" Gemma picked up her glass of whiskey and drank from it. "I've never known Jax and Opie to fight about anything." "Definitely, not like that and not to be that careless." Gemma had a good idea about what the fight was about but she wanted details.

Tara picked up her glass and took a gulp before setting it down on the desk. "You know that I've been helping Opie out with the kids." "I've been going over in the mornings sometimes to get them to school if I call and he's too drunk to do it." "I pick them up from school and take care of them in the evenings." "Lately the evenings have been turning into night." "Opie was getting home long after Kenny and Ellie went to bed for the night." "So two nights ago when he came home…he looked like he had been in a fight at the bar." "And I just sort of let him have it." "I let him know what his drinking was doing to the kids." "It was raining pretty badly outside…so he asked me to stay the night." "We ended up talking and..one thing led to another…." "I stayed at Opie's place last night too." "We really care about one another Gemma." said Tara. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this.." "Anyway…after we took the kids to school Opie and I were fooling around in the kitchen and Jax walked in and then all hell broke loose." "I tried to break them up but.."

Gemma whistled and then shook her head. "Well, there is one lesson for you to learn. When two big ass men are fighting one another you do not get in the way." "Let men take care of men." "And you take care of your damn self…because both of them are fine…physically." "A few scrapes and bruises but I wasn't pulling glass shards out of either of them." "Second lesson…Charming is too damn small for secrets." "There is no such thing is a secret…there are things that people don't talk about…but no secrets." "Jax was bound to find out sooner rather than later." "Opie should have told Jax straight away…" "Got this bullshit out in the open before it erupted like it did."

"Gemma it just happened. It isn't as if it is something that either of us planned." "We weren't even sure what we were doing…" "How could we tell Jax before we know what was going on between us?" "It wasn't until last night that we both said that…this wasn't just a fling." "But you are right. There is no such thing as a secret around here." "Piney mentioned that Tig said he saw Opie and me together." "We were out at the old park yesterday. That is the only place Tig could have seen us." "And trust me…I have officially learned my lesson on trying to break up fights." "I just…I was scared they were going to kill one another." "They were both acting crazy Gemma." "They are both my friends…they are like brothers. I couldn't just stand there and let them tear each other apart like that." said Tara. Tara finished off her second glass of whiskey and nudged the empty glass in Gemma's direction.

Gemma poured Tara another glass of whiskey. "Now, don't go and get drunk on me. I need you sober for later on when I take this to Clay." "Brothers or not honey…when men are interested in the same woman blood always has to be shed. There ain't no way around it." "And if you would have come to me straight off I could have tried to control the amount of bloodshed." Gemma refilled Tara's glass and slid it back over to her.

"I am not a light weight by any means Gemma." said Tara drinking from her glass of whiskey. "I can handle my liquor." "I don't want this to hurt Jax. I don't want this to hurt Opie. And I don't want this to hurt the club."

"Men…once they put a claim on a woman…it doesn't matter how long they are apart or who the man ends up with…he is always going to feel like he has claim to that woman." said Gemma. "And Jax has put his claim to you." "He did years ago." "And no matter how many times you two break up he is always going to feel like you belong to him." "Men…to a degree look at us like possessions…" "Don't get me wrong Clay treats me like a queen." "Anything I want…he goes out of his way to make happen." "He would and has…killed for me." "Hell, he's said on more than one occasion that my love is going to kill him in the end." "But I can tell you right now that Clay is possessive and I am his wife and his old lady and no one…would survive crossing the line with me."

"But you are married to him Gemma." "I don't want to wait around forever for Jax to figure out his life." "I love Jax and I always will." "But I am not in love with him." "And I could have something amazing with Opie…I don't want to have to let that go because…Jax wants me." "What about what I want?" asked Tara.

"I fell in love with John Teller…and I would have done anything for that man." "But I cared about Clay too…I loved him." "But I wasn't in love with him." "I was in love with John and I married John and had a family with him." "But that didn't stop Clay for longing for me." "That didn't stop him from giving me lingering glances." "Or hugging me for a little too long." "John was a perceptive man and he could see that Clay wanted me." "John flew into a rage." "For weeks he and Clay were on edge." "They got into a lot of fights." "Blood was shed…" "Someone was going to lose their life…because…they had decided in their heads that the only solution was to eliminate one another." "John wanted Clay dead…and when John wanted something…he always got it." "One night I walked into the kitchen and John was cleaning his gun and I saw it in his eyes…" "He was going to kill Clay." "And it took every bit of my powers of persuasion to change his mind." "And the only thing that set it right between them is that they both went up to the cabin and got away from everything….me…the club…the boys…and all of the bullshit in between." "And that worked it out between them as men." "Jax and Opie need to do the same thing." said Gemma.

Tara said "And then when John died all of those years later?"

Gemma said "Well, Clay was there for me. He helped me take care of Jax…Jax was 14 and angry and out of control." "Clay helped me through my grief. I knew he loved me and I loved him too." "And I finally let myself love him in the same way that he loved me." "I would have never betrayed John. I loved that man too much." "Just like I know you wouldn't betray Jax…"

"Never Gemma. I would have never crossed the line if I was still with Jax or if I even thought we were going to get back together." "I thought it was over for us." said Tara. "I didn't really mean to cross the line anyway…" "Opie was just….he needed me…and I can't lie…I needed him too."

Gemma said "I know darlin'. As much as this is tearing up Jax and Opie I know this is ripping you in two." "You see the two people you love most hurting and you can't comfort either one…" Gemma said "I need you to think long and hard…about who you want to be with." "Because there is no turning back." "Once you choose…you are with him and that is it." "If you choose Opie…you can never go back to Jax. And if you choose Jax…you can never go back to Opie." "I love my son.. more than anything in this world." "You of all people know that." "But I also love Opie." "I changed that boy's diaper. I fed him and watched him grow up." "Comforted him when Mary couldn't or wouldn't…" "You have my word that I am going to make sure that this works out." "I need to go over to the club and talk to Clay about all of this." "You stay here and don't open the door for anyone." "I don't need frick or frack showing up to talk to you." "And I definitely don't need a fight in here." Gemma got up and got ready to leave the office.

Tara stood up and hugged Gemma. "Thank you Gemma." Tara hugged Gemma tightly and cried. All of the emotions she felt seemed to just flow out of her.

Gemma hugged her and said "It is going to be alright baby girl..." "You have my word on that." "It is going to be okay." said Gemma quietly. She held her and thought to herself *How did I end up with another child to take care of* But Tara had grown on her and she loved the girl like one of her own. Gemma kissed her forehead. "Try to relax and I will be back soon." Gemma walked out of her office and locked the door. Gemma walked the short distance from the garage over to the club. She opened the door and walked into the club. She went straight for Clay's office and walked in.

Clay was sitting in his office smoking a cigar with his feet up on the edge of his desk. He looked toward the door hearing Gemma's heels as she approached his office. "Close the door baby." said Clay.

Gemma closed the door and then walked over having a seat across from Clay's desk. "So you heard about the fight right?"

"How is the Doc doing?" asked Clay. "Jax told me that there was glass sticking out of her when you got there."

"She is fine physically…emotionally she is a wreck." said Gemma.

"The future of this club fighting over a woman…" said Clay. "What the hell am I supposed to do about that Gemma." "Jax will be President in a couple of years…Opie was the natural choice for his vice president…all of that went up in smoke this afternoon. We will be lucky if they don't cripple or kill one another." "We both know that with the arthritis in my hands…I won't be able to ride much longer." The club had an age old rule if you can't ride you can't lead. Clay used injections on a regular basis to alleviate the pain associated with his arthritis but some days he found it difficult to use his hands for much of anything. He wanted to believe that he would be able to lead the club forever and when he was talking to the guys in the club that was the attitude he had. But he didn't have secrets from Gemma and they both knew his days at the top were numbered.

"I know Clay! I know….I was there I saw the looks they gave one another…I think they would have started fighting again if they didn't both know that I carry a gun and would have shot them both in a non-lethal way." said Gemma. "And don't turn your nose up at them fighting over a woman." "You and John nearly killed one another over…a woman."

Clay gave a sheepish smile and said "Well, that was a different situation completely." "You are one in a million Gemma baby." "You were worth almost dying for."

Gemma laughed and said "I know that I am worth it." "I am still worth it and you are still damn lucky that I let you marry me." She chuckled and got up and walked over to Clay. She nudged his feet and he swung them onto the floor. Gemma sat on his lap. "I am worth dying for…for you." "Well, Tara is worth that to Jax and Opie." "You didn't see them…they were still ready to tear one another apart."

"I'd be lost without you baby…you know that." said Clay. "I am grateful for all 17 years that you have let me be your husband." said Clay kissing Gemma passionately. He pulled back from the kiss. "So what the hell am I supposed to do?" "I can't let them tear each other or this club apart."

Gemma said "Well, how did you and John handle it?"

Clay thought back and said "We went up to the cabin for a weekend and worked it out as best as we could." "It took us a while to get back to being the friends that we were…but we made it back eventually."

"Exactly, and Jax and Opie's ties are even deeper. They are closer than you and John ever were." "They just need some time away from everyone and everything to sort things out." "They need to be able to work all of this out of their own." "Now to get them to agree with it…" Gemma smirked at her statement.

"Agree? I am the president of the club. They will do it because it is what I tell them to do." said Clay.

Gemma smiled "And whatever they decide out there sticks right?"

Clay nodded and said "You just have to make the Doc understand that."

"I think I've already got the point across." "I told her whatever she decides…is what she has to stick to." "There is no going back on it." said Gemma. "Now you just have to get Jax and Opie in here and tell them." "I am going to let you get to that." Gemma got off of his lap. "You just make sure that at the end of this Jax and Opie are both still a part of the mother charter." "I don't want to hear about any Nomad bullshit." "No transferring to another charter." "They both stay right here." "Can you make that happen for me baby?"

Clay slapped her on the butt and winked at her. Gemma was asking for a tall order.

Gemma smirked and walked out of his office. "Love you baby."

"You are going to be the death of me woman…I feel it." said Clay laughing.

"You'll die happy though!" called Gemma over her shoulder.


	9. Chapter 9

Jax was sitting on top of the picnic table that sat outside of the club. He was smoking a cigarette waiting on Opie to arrive. Clay had called Jax and Opie to the club for a sit down talk. Initially, Jax refused to attend the meeting but Clay had given Jax a no nonsense talk that left little room for argument. So here he sat waiting on his best friend…former best friend to arrive.

Opie arrived at the club in Piney's car that was really a clunker on its last leg. Piney's car was only running because of the Teller-Morrow garage. Piney turned off the car and looked over at his son. "You ready for this boy?"

"Pop, I don't need you to go in with me." "I am a grown man and I can handle this on my own." said Opie. "You just stay out of it please." "I don't need the help." He smiled at his father. "I will be alright pop." Opie got out of the car and looked over at Jax sitting on the picnic table. He walked passed him without saying anything.

Jax tossed his cigarette on the ground and hopped off of the table. "So you are just going to walk by me." Jax shoved Opie. The fire was still burning in him and more than anything he was ready to take Opie on again.

Opie stopped and said "You want to do this right here and right now?" "I am right here Jax." "And I am not backing down." "And there ain't a woman here this time to get in the way of me kicking your ass." said Opie shoving Jax. "Come on…hit me." "Because you know that I will kick your ass." "I've got nothing to lose…come on."

Jax punched Opie and threw him to the ground and the two started to tussle. In no time Opie had gained the upper hand on Jax and they were scuffling on ground with one another.

The other guys from the club and the garage crowded around Jax and Opie as they fought. There were loud cheers as the fight raged on.

Clay walked out of the club hearing the fight and walked over to it. He whistled and said "break it up!"

Tig and Happy got into the fray and pulled Opie and Jax away from one another. Tig held onto Opie and said "Come on man!" "Cool off…" Tig pulled Opie into the club.

Happy walked Jax over to the picnic table.

Clay looked at Jax and said "You sit here until you think you are ready to come inside and talk this out." "I don't want any more fighting on this lot." "If another punch is thrown it better be done in the ring." said Clay nodding his head in the direction of the boxing ring.

Jax said "If this was about mom…you can't tell me that you would be calm." "You'd be ready for blood." "Why should I be any different?" asked Jax.

"I married your mother. Maybe you should have married Tara." said Clay walking into the club not waiting for Jax to reply.

Jax lit up a cigarette and sat on the picnic table for awhile. His attention was drawn over to the garage…more importantly his attention was drawn to the office attached to the garage. He had a pretty good idea of where Tara was. Jax got up from the picnic table and walked over to the office door and knocked.

Gemma went to the door and opened it. "What do you want Jackson?" "Isn't Clay waiting for you to come in and talk?" "You need to go and do that."

"I know Tara has to be here…she wasn't at home." "I'd like to come in and talk to her…just for a few minutes and then I will go over to the meeting with Clay." "I just need to talk to her and let her know how sorry I am about what happened. And to let her know that I am not mad at her about this…I know this is Opie taking advantage of the situation…of her.." said Jax looking at Gemma with pleading eyes.

Gemma hated saying no to her son but she shook her head. "You aren't talking to her right now." "Not until you get control of yourself and you work out this shit with Opie."

"There is nothing to work out. He crossed the line…he knew how I felt about Tara and he crossed the line anyway…" "There is no way that I can ever forgive that." "I am not sure what Clay…or you for that matter expects to happen." said Jax.

"I expect you to grow the hell up." "Both of you…I expect you and Opie to be men about this and find a way to work it out." "That is the man I raised you to be." "That is the man I know that you can be Jackson Teller." "Now you go and be that man." said Gemma moving to close the door.

Jax said "Mom please…just a few minutes."

Gemma said "I won't tell you again Jackson." "Goodbye…" Gemma closed the door and locked it.

Jax stood outside of the office looking at the closed door. He felt his temper getting the best of him. He punched the closed door and walked over to the club and headed inside. He went into Clay's office where Clay and Opie were already seated.

Clay said "Close the door and sit down Jax."

Jax closed the office door and shook his head. "I don't need to sit down." "This won't take long."

Clay's eyes narrowed. "Sit your ass down…" "Now."

Jax shook his head and sat down in the chair.

Clay said "Now, I know what happened and I know why it happened." "I've been there before…" "I… was in love with Gemma long before John died…" "John and I had to work that out and so do you and Opie." "You two are the future of this club." "I am not going to let either of you throw that away."

"What is there to work out?" "My dad was married to my mom. She was his old lady. You don't screw someone else's old lady." said Jax.

"You are right…story over in that case." "But you and Tara broke up." "Tara isn't your old lady anymore." "Which means she is fair game and you know that." "You know the rules as well as anyone else." said Clay. He looked over at Opie. "And Opie you had to know how this would work out when Jax found out." "You knew the problems this would cause." said Clay.

"It wasn't like I planned for this to happen Clay…it just happened." "It got away from me before I could really get a handle on it." "But this isn't some fly by night thing." "I love her." said Opie.

Jax clenched his fists. "You love her?" "Since when?" asked Jax. "You are only with her because you are grieving. What are you going to do when you aren't grieving anymore?"

"I've loved Tara for a long time." "Most of that time it has been as a friend but I love her." "I wouldn't do anything to hurt her." said Opie.

Clay said "Listen, the two of you are going to go to the cabin for a couple of days." "Gemma can look after Abel for you Jax. And Gemma can look after Kenny and Ellie for you Opie if Tara is busy." "Although considering she was literally stabbed in the back today I don't think she will be going to work for a few days."

Jax tried to interrupt Clay. "Wait"

Clay said "This isn't up for discussion. You two are going to go to the cabin and work this out." "Do whatever you have to do to make it right." "But by the time you two come back it better be settled." "No more fighting." "There is no going Nomad and there is no going to another chapter…I won't put it up for a vote." "So figure it out." "Now get out of my office." said Clay.

Jax and Opie both sat there in shock for a moment.

Clay said "I said get out of my office…."

Jax and Opie both got up and walked out of the office and went their separate ways. Both men went to their respective homes and packed for their three day trip. Jax spent some time with his son Abel before he left for the trip.

Opie spent some time with Ellie and Kenny for he left.

The two men didn't leave for the cabin until 6:00 that evening. On the way up to the cabin Jax and Opie both rode their motorcycles and were a few yards behind one another. Even the distance between their motorcycles spoke volumes. Usually they would have rode side by side on such an isolated road.

The cabin was a little more than two hours away and they were nearly here. As they were riding on a mostly desolate road they both heard the roar of motorcycles coming from the other direction. Jax hoped that the approaching group of motorcycles were friends of SAMCRO but as soon as they came into view Jax knew better. The approaching gang was a group called the Mayans.

The Mayans and SAMCRO had a long and murky history. There were times when the two groups had peace between them and then there were times when they held bloody month long feuds. Right now the two gangs were experiencing a tenuous time of peace. That peace had come at a significant price to the leader of the Mayans, Marcus Alvarez. The Mayans had teamed up with local drug dealer, Ernest Darby. Darby had inside information about where SAMCRO housed their weapons. The Mayans raided the warehouse, stole the weapons, and then burned the warehouse to the ground. SAMCRO retaliated. And so went that back and forth feud until it reached a boiling point. The Mayans attempted to kill Clay and Ernest Darby.

The hit was botched and Clay survived unscathed but the damage was already done. Ernest Darby survived as well but three people at his home at the time were not as lucky. The hits had been orchestrated by Alvarez's son, Esai. To prevent a long and bloody war that was sure to follow Clay sat down with Alvarez and Darby to broker peace.

As part of that peace all of the Mayan charters had to settle disputes with all of the SAMCRO charters with SAMCRO coming out on top for all of the deals. And Esai had to die for his part in the attempt on Clay's life. And so one day at a park Alvarez delivered Esai like a lamb to slaughter to Happy. Happy killed Esai with an ice pick to the back of the head. Since then the two clubs had lived in relative peace with only a few dust ups but they were bitter about the price they paid for peace.

Jax slowed down so that Opie could catch up with him. He looked over and yelled. "Mayans! Up ahead!"

Opie nodded and they took off down a side road hoping to avoid a major conflict with what appeared to be an entire charter of the Mayans. But there was to be no such luck on this day. The Mayans had spotted Jax and Opie and took off down the side road as well chasing them down. They were only a couple of miles from the cabin but they definitely weren't going to make it there.

Jax and Opie knew this area like the back of their hands so they sped along the road until they reached an area of the forest that they knew well. They both got off of their motorcycles and abandoned them on the road. They headed into the forest trying to throw the group of twelve Mayans off of their trail. The sun was going down by now darkness was quickly approaching. Darkness would be their best ally.

Opie led the way through the woods. "Come on Jax…keep up." said Opie.

"Shut up." said Jax running to keep up with Opie. "Let's stop…and see how far behind us they are." "I am going to climb up the tree…" said Jax motioning to a tree in front of them. Jax went over to the tree and climbed up it and was able to get a clear view of the Mayans looking for them. "Shit, they are still coming after us." Jax hopped down from the tree. Jax took out his cell phone and called Clay.

Clay answered the phone. "What is it?"

"Clay, we were on our way to the cabin when some Mayans spotted us." "We tried to lose them but the followed us." "We left our bikes on the road and are in the forest." "We are going to try to make the last mile on foot up to the cabin." "But we could use some help."

"Shit….alright." "Try to keep your head down." "We are heading out there now." Clay hung up.

Jax hung up and looked at Opie. "We should have reinforcements but it'll be at least an hour or more even with them speeding to get here."

Opie asked "Do you have your gun with you?" Opie took out his gun.

"I've got my gun and my K-Bar." said Jax. Jax's father, John, had given him a K-Bar knife when he was younger and he always carried on his belt with him.

Opie nodded and said "So do I." "If we are going out….let's go out fighting." Opie and Jax both took defensible positions behind trees and as the Mayans started coming into view they both started firing.

The Mayans started shooting back.

Opie and Jax took out four Mayans before Jax got shot in the arm and then in the leg. Jax let out a scream of pain and hit the ground. He scooted behind a tree for cover.

Opie looked over seeing Jax. "Jax!" He moved from his position over to Jax. "Are you okay?" As he was moving over to Jax he was shot in the arm. "Shit!' groaned Opie with a growl of pain.

Jax said "This is the arm I shoot with." "I am not going to be much help." "You need to take off. There is no way I am going to be able to walk on this leg."

Opie heard the Mayans getting closer and the shooting getting closer. "I am not leaving you here to die." Opie said "I want to be with Tara but not like this." Opie lifted up Jax and lugged his body as quickly as he could through the forest.

Jax groaned in pain the moving was causing him excoriating pain.

"Suck it up." "I am the one carrying your heavy ass." said Opie. They got deeper into the woods and realized they didn't hear anymore gunshots. Opie set Jax down on a fallen tree and looked around. "I don't know…I think they might have turned back." said Opie in a quiet voice.

Jax said "Well, it is getting late. There is nothing but the moon for light right now." "Maybe they decided it wasn't worth it to keep chasing us through the damn forest."

"Maybe…or maybe they are regrouping…either way we could both use some rest." said Opie. He had a seat on the fallen log and tore his long sleeved shirt to get a look at the gunshot wound to his arm. "At least it was a through and through." said Opie. "What about you?" asked Opie looking over at Jax.

Jax said "The arm is through and through…but the bullet is still in my damn leg."

Opie took the torn part of his shirt and handed it to Jax. "Try to stop some of the bleeding from your leg man."

Jax took the shirt and pressed it to his leg and groaned in pain. Jax took out his cell phone and said "I can't get a signal now…" "I guess we are too far in…"

The two men sat there in silence listening for approaching enemies and worrying if they would make it out of the forest alive. As the minutes ticked by nearly an hour passed.


	10. Chapter 10

Jax looked over at Opie. "So I guess I should thank you for getting me out of the line of fire back there." "There is no way I could have walked…or let alone ran for cover."

Opie said "You don't have to thank me for anything." "We are still members of the same club and we are still brothers in my opinion." "That won't change just because we don't see eye to eye right now." "And probably won't see eye to eye for awhile." added Opie.

"Well, I want to say thank you anyway. A lot of lesser men would have left me behind and worried about saving his own ass." "But me and you…it is going to take a lot more than you saving my life to put us right." "You know how I feel about Tara…what she means to me." "What she has always meant to me." "I've always loved her…even before I really knew what love was or how to love someone." "I knew my heart belonged to that girl." "I couldn't…and haven't loved any woman the way I love Tara." "I married Wendy…so that I wouldn't be alone…but she never compared to Tara…" "And she knew that…I think that was part of the reason…we didn't work out."

"I know how much you love Tara…." "But you've got to see it from my side." "I grew up with her too…" "I loved her too." "But I stepped back because I saw how interested in her you were. I was used to letting you take the big fish." "It had always been that way. You got what you wanted and I took what was left." "I didn't resent it because I was young." "What the hell did I know about anything?" "But Tara and I have always had a connection." "You just…never paid attention." "I don't think Tara or I…ever really thought out our feelings…but we both knew they were there." "But we put them aside for you Jax." "But how long are we supposed to do that?" "How long am I supposed to wait for her because you can't get your shit together."

Jax sat there stunned listening to Opie. "How long?" asked Jax through clenched teeth.

"How long what?" asked Opie looking at him. "How long have we been sleeping together?" "Two days." said Opie. "It happened…because I was drunk and depressed and I needed someone." "I was drowning and…Tara reached out her hand and she pulled me out, man." "And I looked at that woman laying next to me and I knew." "I knew I didn't want to wait any longer…" "But…I didn't know how she felt about me until…later the next day when she told me." "And it was like…this gift…I had been waiting for…for so long finally arrived." "I realized that this woman cared about me as much as I cared about her."

"How long have you loved her?" asked Jax looking at him. "How could you have never said anything? You are acting liking am this selfish fucking bastard…that took everything you ever wanted." "I would have given you anything! You are my brother! I would give my life for you and you are acting like I treated you like some second rate flunkie." "And that is bullshit!"

"You have always acted like the freaking heir apparent." "Because you were…" "From the time that we were kids we both knew you'd be President one day…" "You want a date and time?" "Fine…" "I realized I was in love with Tara when we were 14 years old." "All three of us skipped school." "We stole Clay's truck…and drove it the reservoir…" "It was a really rainy season so it was filled to the brim with water." "We were sitting in the truck…with the music blaring…sharing some cheap whiskey we had stole from the club." "Tara was sitting between us." "And me and you got out of the truck after awhile to take a piss…" "But we had left the truck in neutral and it started to roll…"

Jax listened and said "I remember that." "The damn thing rolled right over the bank and into the reservoir." "With Tara still in it…"

Opie nodded and said "And my first thought was Tara. I ran after the truck into the water and pulled her out and swam with her back to the bank." "She was spitting up water…and could barely breathe." "And she clung to me like…if I let her go she was going to die." "She was shaking like crazy…" "And I looked into her eyes and….I knew…I knew that if anything ever happened to her…I'd stop breathing too." "I knew that I loved her…" "But I also knew that you wanted her…that you loved her." "You were my brother and…you had just lost your dad." "And the rumors were flying about your mom and Clay hooking up. People were saying that he killed your dad…so that he could have Gemma." "It was crazy…" "So I didn't pursue Tara…" "I didn't want to hurt you." "And more than that…when you want something…you always got it." "Cut the hurt look out." "You tell me…if I had pursued Tara…you would have pursued her too." "There is no way you would have let me be with her without a fight."

Jax stared off into space for a bit before saying. "I knew you were into her…" "I didn't know…back then…" "But…I definitely knew by the time we were 16…" "You were always looking after her." "Making sure that she was okay." "You were always making sure that I was treating her right." "When I'd fight with her… you were always appealing to my better half… telling me to work it out with her." "You were always supportive…" "But there were some times…that I would catch you looking at us…or rather…looking at Tara…and I knew." "You are my brother…and I knew that you loved her…" "But I loved her too…I needed her too much." "Thomas died when I was twelve, my father died when I was fourteen, and everyone in that fucking town looked at how Clay was after my mother." "I was on a war path…I was destructive…I was drowning…." "And Tara was there…she made my miserable life livable." "She looked after me…she took care me…you did too." "I wouldn't have lived long if it hadn't been for the two of you…stopping me from self-destructing." "And then after high school she left and my whole world fell down around me." "And I slept with woman after woman. Face after face. Because I was looking for someone to fill that void that Tara left in my life."

"She saved us both…you needed her back when John died…and you needed her again when Abel was born and he was sick." said Opie. "But after she saves you from drowning…." "You take her for granted." "The sleeping around this last time broke her heart." "Even in my drunken depression I could see that."

"And what makes you different?" "Right now you are drowning in grief, in depression, in booze." "You can't take care of your kids because you are drunk most of the time." "And there is Tara…saving you…pulling you back from the abyss." "What happens when you aren't grieving anymore?" "Will you be as devoted?"

"I was faithful to Donna and I would be faithful to Tara too." "I am not promising her forever because I don't know what the future holds." "But I think that Tara and I owe it to ourselves to see this through… to see what we could mean to one another." "My love for Tara wasn't one sided Jax…" "She loved me too." declared Opie.

"So you are saying that she loved you all of this time and didn't love me?" asked Jax laughing.

"No. That is not what I am saying." "I think she loved us both." "Hell, I think she still does." "At the house today she wasn't yelling Jax don't hurt Opie or Opie don't hurt Jax." "She didn't want us to hurt each other." "And as much as this is destroying us…it has to be eating Tara up inside." "We are the only two people she's ever really loved…and no matter how this plays out…one of us is going to be heartbroken." "So what would you have us do Jax?" "Do you want to have a truce and neither one of us gets to be with Tara, which would make all three of us miserable?" "And most likely Tara would pick up stakes and leave Charming again…" "Who wants that?" "I'd miss her…you'd miss her." "My kids would miss her…"

Jax said "Abel would miss her…he's a baby but whenever he sees her…he lights up and Tara loves that kid." "She'd do anything in this world for him." "It's like she's been watching over him since the moment he was born." "She was at the hospital working when they brought Wendy in…" "Tara was the one who told me how bad off Abel really was…" "And she got herself put on his case so that she could watch over him every step of the way in that hospital." "Every week he was there in that incubator…she was with him."

"So we agree that our children would suffer too." said Opie. He chuckled and said "Too bad bigamy is illegal." "We could both be her husband."

Jax laughed at the thought. "Oh yeah like Tara would go for that." "What woman would?" "Two husbands to have sex with and look after." "Two houses to clean." "Two sets of kids to raise." Jax laughed and shook his head. "I think the only thing that we can do is let Tara do the deciding." "We can't decide this for her." "And we have to live by…whatever decision she comes to." "Whether it is me." said Jax with a smirk. "Or you." said Jax in a more somber tone as he looked over at Opie. "It is the only way to stop…both of us from losing her."

Opie nodded and said "I think that is the smartest thing I have heard you say all day." He gave a half smile. "I think that is the only option that we have." "It puts a lot of pressure on Tara…but this should be her decision."

Jax nodded and said "Agreed… but we can both try to sway her vote though…" "I mean a couple of nice dinners…" said Jax laughing.

Opie shook his head. "You did always try to find loopholes." He chuckled. "But I think that is a good idea if Tara agrees to it." "Hopefully, she is still there when we get back." "Tara is good at running when she feels trapped…like the way she took off after high school."

"Don't worry about that." "I doubt my mother would let her just run off." "Not after all of the trouble this has caused." "You know nothing means more to my mother than the stability of the club." "And you and me fighting…well it isn't good for the club." said Jax. He chuckled and said "You know Clay wants us to work this out too…we are his retirement plan."

"Yeah…the future of SAMCRO…" said Opie. "There are a lot of people's hopes and dreams riding on the two of us to rise to the top of the club." said Opie.

Jax laughed and said "You are right about that…my mother has been waiting for that since the day I was born." "I think I am her life's work." "You know she loves you too." "You are like her other son." "As much as she wants me to be president of the club…she wants you as my vice president." "Someone to have my back and help me lead."

"I'll always have your back brother…always." said Opie. Opie stopped and said "I hear something." Opie grabbed his gun and moved off of the log to see if he could see anything.

Jax got his gun ready hopped up on one leg ready for a fight.

Clay appeared and said "Are you two okay?" "We didn't see any Mayans when we got here." "Your bikes are still here but they are trashed."

Jax said "I guess they are afraid of the dark or something." "They took off around the time the moon came out." said Jax laughing.

"You two okay?" asked Clay.

"I took a bullet to the arm and one to the thigh." said Jax.

"I took one to the arm." said Opie.

Chibs said "We are just glad that you are alive brothers." "Come on we will get you lads up to the cabin and I will patch the two of you up."

Clay said "Tig and Hap are standing guard at the edge of the forest to make sure we don't get any unwanted visitors." "Bobby's got the van so we can transport the two of you." "Let's get you out of here so I can call Gemma." "She's worried sick about the two of you." He said "For more than one reason…."

Jax said "Well, she doesn't have to worry…we came to a compromise." "We are going to let Tara choose who she wants to be with…and no matter what her decision is… we will both stand by it."

Clay chuckled softly looking at the two of them. "Looks like the two of you came to the same decision John and I came to."


	11. Chapter 11

The guys made sure that Jax and Opie got back to Charming safely and everyone went home for the night. The next afternoon Jax and Opie met up at Clay and Gemma's house so that they could talk to Tara. Both men were sitting on the couch having a drink.

Clay walked into the room and said "Gemma will be here in a few minutes with Tara." "There is only one ground rule for this meeting." "I don't want any fighting..." "Try to keep this as civil as possible especially, with Gemma in the house. You both know how she can be. I will try to keep her out of it and give the three of you some privacy." "But the main ground rule for all of is that there can't be any fighting. Not here…if you two feel the need to fight you do it in the ring at the club."

Opie said "I think we have moved beyond the fighting portion of this situation." "Besides I think we are both too tired after running through the woods and getting shot." said Opie taking a drink of his whiskey. "I couldn't really sleep last night my arm is killing."

Jax nodded in agreement. "And we don't want to scare Tara off. She could get fed up with the fighting and decide she doesn't want either one of us." "Or worse...take off and leave Charming again. Ope and I agreed that is something that we don't want to happen. We agreed to let Tara make the decision and that is what we are going to do."

Clay nodded and said "Alright, I just wanted to be sure. I know it can he be hard to be civil in times like this. It took a long time for John and I to be able to sit in a room together before wanting to kill one another. When you love a woman…sometimes it can make you a little crazy..make you do things you normally wouldn't do." "I was willing to leave the club to have Gemma." said Clay.

"What happened?" asked Jax.

Clay chuckled and said "Your mother picked John…it was no contest…she knew who she wanted before John and I even came to the agreement to let her choose. I like to think it was because they were married. But…at the end of the day…Gemma was in love with John until the day he died and there was no way she would have left him voluntarily…not even for me…and she loved me too."

Opie suddenly felt less confident about his chances. Not that he had been feeling all that confident about his chances to begin with. Jax and Tara had been together off and on since they were 14 years old. That isn't the kind of history you just throw away on a whim because you think you might love someone else. "How did you deal with it? I mean seeing Gemma with John…how did you keep yourself from hating him?" asked Opie.

Jax looked at Opie seeing the worry on his face.

Clay got up from the chair he was sitting in and poured himself a glass of whiskey. He sat back down and said "I realized that hating John was pointless. John wasn't the one keeping Gemma from me. Gemma never did anything she didn't want to do. She chose John because she was in love with him…she may have loved me…but she wasn't in love with me." "I still thought about leaving but…I figured having her in my life as a friend…was better than losing her altogether." He chuckled quietly. "There are a long list of men who wished that Gemma wanted them."

Jax shook his head "That is a creepy thought."

Clay laughed and said "What? Your mother has always been a hot piece of ass."

Jax laughed and said "Thanks for that image Clay. I really needed that."

Clay laughed and said "Sounds like that is Gemma pulling up now." Clay walked to the door and opened it. He kissed Gemma as she walked through the door. "Here let me help you with Abel." said Clay taking the baby from Gemma.

Gemma said "Thank you baby. Have the two of them worked things out?" Gemma was skeptical that it could have happened so quickly but then again getting shot often had a sobering effect on people and made them realize what they really stood to lose in their lives.

"They really came to an agreement. I told them no fighting and they both agreed that there would not be any fighting. How is the Doc doing? Is she any better than she was yesterday?" asked Clay.

Gemma nodded and said "She is doing better. She is confused like anyone would be at the moment. We had a good heart to heart talk about how to handle things. I told her that no matter what she can't let Jax or Opie pressure her into making a decision she doesn't want to make. We had a pretty good talk about it all. She was on the phone with the hospital letting them know she won't be in to work for a few days. She should be coming inside soon."

A few moments later Tara walked into the house. "Hi Clay."

"Hi Doc. Come on Gemma let's give them some privacy to talk." said Clay knowing that Gemma would want to stay right there and listen in but this was something the three of them needed to sort out alone.

Gemma frowned but said "Fine...I am going." "But Tara if you need anything we will be right in the kitchen." "Just yell." Gemma walked into the kitchen with Clay and said "I hope that this is really over Clay... I don't want any more fighting between the boys. We have had more than enough drama in the club as of late. Do you want some coffee?"

"I'd like something stronger." complained Clay sitting down at the table holding Abel.

Back in the living room Tara sat down in a chair across from the couch that Jax and Opie were sitting on. "Are both of you okay? Gemma said...you got shot up at the cabin. I wanted to check on the two of you last night but…"

"Well, technically we got shot before we made it to the cabin but yeah we are both okay. But while we were out there waiting for Clay and the guys to arrive we did come to an understanding about how we want to work things out." said Jax.

"We are both sorry for what happened yesterday. We never meant for our fighting to put you at risk Tara. You have to know that neither of us would ever intentionally hurt you. I am just sorry you got caught in the crossfire." said Opie.

"I was partly to blame...like Gemma told me yesterday...if two men are fighting you stay the hell out of the way. I just hated to see you two fighting like that. Especially, when it was about me." said Tara.

"You weren't to blame you wouldn't have gotten hurt if we weren't fighting like... mad men. I just walked in and saw the two of you together and...I don't know what took over me. Well...I guess I do...jealousy." He laughed a deep laugh. "I've never been known to be jealous..."

Opie chuckled slightly. "You never had a reason to be jealous. What woman doesn't want Jax Teller?" "The point is Tara we are sorry about what happened yesterday and we are glad that you are okay."

Jax shrugged and said "There's some truth to that. I can't say I've ever been turned down. But we did come to a decision. We both figured out that we don't want to fight over you and drive you away from both of us. This is a decision that only you can make. You have to be with who you love." "And whatever you decide...we will both respect your decision."

"And you can take as much time as you need. You mean a lot to both us...and neither of us wants to lose you as a friend. Our kids adore you. We both love you." said Opie. "We will not be fighting any time soon...at least not about you."

Tara sat there a little stunned by the entire conversation. She never thought she would hear such conciliatory words from the two of them. Tara took in a breath hearing that they would let her decide. She already knew what she wanted...who she wanted. There was absolutely no doubt in her mind. Her mind was racing as she tried to think of something to say but as of yet she could find the right words. "Both of you are my best friends but not just that. Both of you are the only family I have had since the time my mother died. All I had was my dad and he wasn't worth much. The two of you were my family...you still are and I don't want anything to destroy that."

"I can't say that there won't be hard feelings when this entire situation is over. Because there will be. But...true friendship...true family means being able to go through the bullshit...and come out on the other side better for it and stronger." "I know that we can do that." said Opie.

Jax said "So...take your time figuring things out okay?"

"Okay..." said Tara. "Listen...I need to get home but...maybe I'll see you guys tomorrow." "Ope...tell the kids that I said hi." said Tara standing up.

"Wait a minute." said Opie standing up. He wrapped his arms around Tara and hugged her.

Tara resisted the urge to melt into the hug. There was something about his big arms enveloping her that made her feel like everything would be okay. Tara was hugging him as tightly as he was hugging her. She felt her heart skip being so close to him. She pulled back from the hug and realized Jax was standing there waiting to hug her as well.

Opie said "I am going to head home myself." "I'll see you at the club later Jax…" said Opie. He clapped Jax on the back and walked out of the house. Opie stood on the porch a moment and took in a deep breath.

Jax watched Opie walk out of the house and then turned to Tara and hugged her and then kissed her cheek. "I love you Tara and I always will." "Nothing is going to change that..." "Why don't we go to my house for awhile…? We can watch a movie or something just…spend some time together. I know I messed before…I made a mistake…but I don't want that mistake to end what we have forever…"

Tara stood there taking in the feeling. The hug was so familiar and comforting and yet she felt an intensity there that she hadn't felt in a long time with Jax. She wasn't sure if it was the depth of his feelings or the fear of losing her. "I love you too Jax….I've got to go." Tara needed to leave, she couldn't be there any longer. "Tell Gemma that I will call her later." Tara left the house.

Jax stood there in shock for a moment. He was starting to wonder if Tara had already slipped away from him. There was a time when Tara wouldn't have been able to turn Jax down. Jax walked into the kitchen seeing Gemma cooking dinner and Clay sitting at the table with Abel.

"How did it go?" asked Clay.

Gemma turned and looked at her son and already knew the answer. She dried her hands on a dish towel and walked over to him. "Are you going to be okay baby?"

Jax had a seat and said "I don't know…I was so sure that…Tara would choose me…but now…I tried talking to her in the living room…she took off…said she's call you later ma…I might have screwed up so bad that I will never get her back.."

"Sometimes…what is best for us hurts the most. But no matter what happens…if it is meant to be it will happen…maybe not now but at some point. Why don't you stay for dinner? I am making spaghetti." said Gemma.

"No, I think I want to go home for awhile. My leg hurts anyway. Would you mind watching Abel for me tonight?" asked Jax.

"Sure, we can watch him. I have his diaper bag with me so I have everything he needs. He spends any more nights here and he might as well live here." said Gemma with a chuckle.

Jax stood up to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Gemma hugged him and said "Goodnight." Gemma watched him leave the kitchen and heard the front door open and close. "This is a fight that should have taken place when they were teenagers. It would have been a lot less messy, a lot less dangerous, and there would be a lot less to lose." said Gemma looking at Clay.

He smiled and said "It happens in its on time." "Hell, I knew I loved you the day you and John got married. But I wasn't ready to say anything then." "Things happen when they are supposed to."


	12. Chapter 12

Around 10:00 at night Opie was laying on the couch in the living room watching television but mostly he had been thinking about Tara and what her decision would be. He had been drinking since the kids went to bed earlier but wasn't trying to get drunk. He reached over and picked up his phone and started to dial Tara's number. This was his third attempt tonight at calling her. He had chickened out every other time. He worried that she wouldn't want to talk to him or worse yet that she had already made her decision. Opie forced himself to finish dialing her number and laid there waiting to see if she would answer his call. Opie let the phone ring five times and then hung up figuring she was either sleep or didn't want to talk. He was about to turn over to go to bed for the night but he heard a knock at the door. It was a light knock but definitely a knock. If the television had been turned up any louder he probably wouldn't have heard it. Opie got off of the couch and opened the door.

Tara was standing at the door and smiled at the surprised look on Opie's face. "Are you going to let me in or are you going to make me stand out here all night?" asked Tara with a smirk.

Opie just chuckled softly and reached out taking her hand and gently pulled her into the house. "I just called you…" said Opie laughing. He rested his forehead and against hers. "I am glad that you are here Tara."

"Well, I decided one night without you was enough. I want to fall asleep in your arms tonight if you will have me. I even brought an overnight bag this time." said Tara laughing quietly as she held up her black overnight bag.

Opie kissed her softly. "Of course I will have you. Come in." Opie walked into the house with Tara closing the door behind.

Tara chuckled softly and said "You taste like whiskey. So what have you been doing tonight? Well, since you have been drinking I think that I deserve one too." She kissed him.

Opie laughed and said "I taste like Whiskey? I like your logic. I am drinking whiskey. The bottle is over here I will get a glass for you." Opie walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass and then walked back into the living room and had a seat on the couch with Tara. Opie poured Tara a glass and then sat back on the couch putting his feet up on the coffee table.

Tara kicked off her shoes and relaxed on the large sectional couch and drank from her glass. "How is your arm feeling? Gemma said that Chibs patched up you and Jax the other night."

"My arm feels okay. I have had worse before. Chibs did a good job. You know he has that medic training from when he was in the service over there. I am having the doors replaced tomorrow." said Opie.

"The fact that you have had worse isn't exactly a comforting feeling. How did Chibs get hooked up with SAMCRO anyway? How are the kids doing?" asked Tara.

"He knew some people in the Belfast charter of SAMCRO. The kids are good. I took them to a movie earlier...they were happy about that. Apparently, they think I haven't taken to them to a movie...ever. I guess I didn't realize that. It seems like I have but...if I did they don't remember it... but then again they were so young when I went to prison...I guess I can't expect them to remember. Kenny is excited about his birthday. He is expecting a party. I don't know anything about throwing a party." said Opie.

"I know it is hard on you with them not remembering the things you did. But the best thing is that you can make new memories with them. And these memories are ones that they will remember for the rest of their lives. You've got a second chance to be the father that you always wanted to be. Well, you were his age once. At twelve what did you want for your birthday?" asked Tara.

"I wanted a Harley...and girlfriend." said Opie thinking back and laughing.

Tara laughed and said "Okay...what did normal 12 year old boys want for their birthdays? Since apparently you were not normal at all."

"Hell, if I know. I hung out with you and Jax. I just don't want to be like pops. He used to give me 20 bucks and pat me on the head. As I got older he used to joke and say...don't spend it on hookers boy." said Opie

Tara's eyes widened and she just chuckled. "You've got to be kidding me...well that does sound like Piney. I remember when I hit you with that baseball and he told you to grow a set."

"My point exactly...the old man aint' exactly good at the sentimental. I had almost forgotten about the baseball incident. I always thought you were trying to hit me on purpose. It was like you were looking right at my leg when you threw that baseball." said Opie in an accusatory tone.

Tara chuckled and said "Well, that is true...I was mad at you for talking to some girl...so I pegged you in the leg with the ball. That and you had been teasing me saying that girls can't be pitchers."

"Man you were vicious. I was only picking on you because you were fun." said Opie tickling her side.

Tara laughed and said "Okay...so I had a jealous streak. For Kenny's party why don't you do something fun with him. Like do a bar-b-que in the backyard. The guys from the club can come and Kenny's friends. Or you could let him have a party with his friends, maybe a party at the batting cages?"

"A party at the batting cages isn't a half bad idea…I don't know. Kenny wants me to buy him a dirt bike. I don't know what is a good idea or bad idea. And my mother…she is no help. I am pretty sure I am going to get him the bike. I can take him up to the cabin and teach him how to ride the dirt bike it. I think he might like that. You know just a weekend for me and him and maybe ask Jax to head up there with us." said Opie.

"I think that would be a great bonding experience for the two of you Opie." said Tara.

"He is a growing up…before I know it he will be in high school. I want to have a good relationship with him. A better one than I had with my parents. He is more like me than I would have ever wanted my son to be. He wants to be like me when he grows up." said Opie.

Tara moved over closer to Opie and snuggled in against him. "I don't think there is anything wrong with that. His dad is a good man. You have your flaws but so does everyone else…"

"He's got like a one track mind…he wants to be like me and Jax…but he doesn't really understand what that means…what it truly means. I mean if he wants to be a part of the club…then I want that for him. But…I spent five years in jail…all of the guys in the club have done time…" said Opie.

"When you were his age…what did you know about the club? I mean what did you really know?" asked Tara.

"Not much…I just saw the fun of the club, the respect that they got in town, the money that they were making. I knew I wanted to be like Pops and John. It wasn't until I was older that I saw what the price for all of that was." said Opie.

"But once you learned all of the bad…you didn't change your mind about what you wanted right?" asked Tara.

"No…I still wanted be in the club. And as soon as I was 18 I started out as a prospect. There was nothing no one could tell me that would have stopped me from joining the club and believe me…Mary tried her best. That is one of the reasons she moved me away…she realized that soon she wouldn't have choice about my involvement in the club. I would be old enough to make my own decisions about it." said Opie.

"I hate to say it Ope…but Kenny is the same way. You trying to pull him away from the club…will only draw him to it more. But what you can do is show him that there are other options in the world. And he doesn't have to be a prospect as soon as he gets out of high school. Half-Sack joined the military first…and then became a prospect once he was discharged. Hell, Juice has computer skills…Bobby is an excellent book keeper which is why he is the treasurer. Let him know he can go to college and come back with knowledge that will help the club grow…and maybe getting a little older and seeing what else the world has to offer…might be good for him. He might still want to be SAMCRO but at least he will have seen what is outside of his little corner of the world." said Tara.

"You left...you came back..." said Opie. "Do you ever regret it?" asked Opie.

"Leaving or coming back?" asked Tara looking at him.

"Both…" said Opie.

"I don't regret leaving…I needed to get away from Charming. I needed to try life on my own. I needed to get away…and it was good for me. I became a doctor. I don't know if I would have done that if I stuck close to Charming. I was reckless and I was getting into trouble. Jax and I were toxic for one another. We loved each other to the point of destruction…but I don't regret coming back either. I came back older…mature…and I knew what it was I wanted out of life. I knew who I was outside of this town outside of my relationships." said Tara.

Opie nodded and said "Do you think you'd ever want to leave again?"

"I don't think so…Charming is my home and it always will be. As much as I wanted to get away from this place I missed it. I missed everything about it. Besides…I would miss you." said Tara looking at him.

Opie hugged her to him. "I would miss you too. I love you Tara…for whatever that is worth…I love you. And whatever decision you make…I will still love you…I won't be angry if you choose Jax. I know you two have a lot of history together…good and bad."

Tara raised an eyebrow. "You don't already know my decision? Why do you think I am right here with you right now Opie? I knew who I wanted to pick before the two of you started fighting like maniacs…or went off into the woods and got shot. I love you and I want to try to make this work with you. I am always going to love Jax. But the time for me to be in love with him has passed. I've loved you for such a long time and I would be a fool not to give us a chance. You've always been that guy…you've always seen me for who I was…not who I was trying to be or who you wanted me to be…"

Opie looked stunned at her words and kissed her passionately cutting her off mid-sentence. He smiled after the kiss and lightly caressed her arm. "I wasn't sure what you would do…but I am glad that you chose me…"

"Now, all I have to do is figure out a way to tell Jax what I have decided. And that will not be an easy task. I don't want to hurt him…but there is no way for this situation to end without at least one person having hurt feelings and a bruised ego." said Tara.

Opie said "That is true…but…why don't we think about that tomorrow. For tonight why don't we just crawl into bed for the night…"

"Piney's bed?" asked Tara.

"No, Pops is actually home tonight. Let's go to my bedroom." said Opie.

Tara nodded and said "Okay."

Opie put up the bottle of whiskey and took Tara's hand and the two of them walked into his bedroom. Opie closed the door behind them.

Meanwhile…

Jax rode over to Tara's house hoping to talk to her. He got off of his motorcycle seeing that her car wasn't outside so he walked up to the garage door and peered inside and realized her car wasn't there. He wondered where she could be. He had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that he already knew where she was.

Jax got back onto his bike and rode over to Opie's house and sure enough there was Tara's car sitting in Opie's driveway. He sat there for a minute before revving the engine loudly.

The sound brought Opie to the window and he looked out seeing Jax outside on his motorcycle.

The two men stared at one another momentarily and then Jax broke the gaze and rode off into the darkness.


	13. Chapter 13

Opie stared out the window long after Jax had driven away. Opie was concerned if Jax would really be able to let Tara go or would this turn out to be a fight. Opie walked into his bedroom looking for Tara.

Tara had changed into the shorts and tank top she had brought to sleep in. She was laying on the floor tiredly waiting on Opie to come to bed. She was lying on a blanket that she had spread out on the floor. She looked up hearing Opie walk into the room. "Is everything okay Opie?" Tara propped her head up with one arm. Tara had a feeling about who it was that Opie had heard outside but she was hoping that she was way off base.

Opie had a seat on the bed and took off his boots. "It was Jax…he just pulled up outside and sat there…" Opie took off his shirt and his jeans and sat at the bottom of the bed looking at Tara on the floor. "I feel bad about having you sleep on the floor when you sleep over…it has to be bad for your back after what happened. We should just sleep in the bed."

Tara glanced at Opie and saw the apprehension in his eyes."There is nothing for you to feel bad about Opie. If you aren't ready then you aren't ready. I would never try to push you. Opie we do not have to sleep in the bed. And I am fine really…I will just sleep with a pillow under my back."

Opie looked at her and knew that Tara meant what she was saying but he couldn't bring himself to ask her to sleep on the floor when she was already injured. Opie stood up and offered Tara his hand and pulled her up. "We can't sleep on the floor forever." said Opie. He circled his arms around her gently and kissed her. Afterward he walked around to one side of the bed and climbed in.

Tara looked at him not sure if he would really be okay or not. She didn't want him to rush himself for her benefit. But he was right; she would be more comfortable in that big soft bed. "Opie…?" asked Tara looking into his yes.

"Come on Tara." said Opie opening his arms to Tara. He chuckled and said "Don't make me get back out of the bed and get you. You won't like what happens after that."

Tara laughed and asked "Is that a threat Winston? What are you going to do?"

Opie smirked and sat up in the bed. He grabbed her arm and pulled her to him and started tickling her. "What if it is a threat?" asked Opie laughing.

Tara squirmed and laughed moving away from him. "That was not fair…your arms are too long! I was supposed to be safe on this side of the bed." She laughed and attempted to tickle him back but Opie had her pretty well pinned. She pinched and twisted his nipple giving him a purple nurple.

"Oww! Hey!" said Opie laughing letting her go. He flopped back against the pillows laughing harder with a hand over his nipple.

Tara got off the bed laughing. She did a couple of strong man poses showing off her non-existent muscles. "That'll teach to you mess with me." said Tara laughing.

"You don't have to be strong to twist someone's nipple! That hurt! You wouldn't want me to do that to you." He smirked and said "Or maybe you would I don't know…you might be a little kinky." laughed Opie shaking his head. "You are dangerous. I am going to have to watch myself around you. Come on and get in the bed." He smiled and opened his arms to her.

"Truce?" asked Tara laughing.

"Truce…" said Opie laughing harder.

Tara grabbed one of the extra pillows from the floor and walked around to the other side of the bed and climbed into the bed with Opie. Tara relaxed in his arms. "So how does Kenny like life in school after suspension?"

"He has complained about it every day but he is doing good so far. He makes good grades I don't understand why he can't just chill out and do what he is supposed to do. He is already starting out as a little badass. By the time he is in high school I am going to be in trouble when it comes to him. At least Ellie is my sweet little girl. She isn't growing up too fast." said Opie.

Tara said "Well, I happen to remember you were the same way Opie. You are smart but you also liked to be a badass. And Ellie is sweet for now…but girls are tricky and we are better at lying than boys are. Because she has you wrapped around her little finger she will be able to pull the wool over your eyes."

"It is different…I had to act that way. Piney was my dad. John was my godfather and Jax was my best friend. I knew from the time I was 8 years old that one day I'd be VP for the club. And I wanted that…everyone expected me to act like a badass." said Opie.

"You don't think Kenny is the same way? His grandfather is one of the original nine that founded the club and is the former vice president. His father will be Vice President sometime in the near future…the way Gemma was talking…maybe in a few years. And his godfather is the current VP and future President. He wants to be like you and I am sure he has his own dreams about rising through the ranks of the club. He is a mini you Opie…so talk to him and let him know what you want for him…what is important to you. Let him know that there is life outside of the MC…but if he is anything like you…he will be just as stubborn. The Sons are like…royalty here in Charming…what kid wouldn't want a piece of that. I knew as we got older that one day…I would be wearing a crow tat on my body…there were only two men I ever wanted and they were both SAMCRO…" said Tara laughing.

Opie said "I guess you have a point there…why would he want anything else…but as a kid he only sees the good stuff…not the shit that keeps you up at night. And I am not willing to teach him my trade." Everyone had a purpose in the club. Tig was the enforcer and sergeant at arms, Bobby was the treasurer, Juice was the intelligence officer, Chibs was the medic, Happy was their assassin and liaison with the Nomad charter. And Opie was there pyro man. If you needed something burned to the ground or blown up Opie was the man for the job. Opie paused and said "Wait you are tattooed aren't you…where?" Opie laughed trying to remember where Jax had told him the tattoo was. Opie started pulling at her tank top to get a peek. "We've had sex twice…how come I haven't seen it?" asked Opie.

"I always thought your knack for making things burn to the ground was sort of hot. Okay very hot…." Tara laughed and flashed a cheeky smile. Tara said "Maybe you haven't seen my tattoo because you haven't had me in the right position yet."

Opie laughed and shook his head. "Okay…." He thought about it a minute the alcohol had dulled his senses somewhat. "Oh!" said Opie laughing. "I'd like to see that…" said Opie playfully rolling her over onto her stomach and pulling her tank top up so he could see the tattoo. He chuckled and said "I bet we could get my name written over his…or maybe just have Opie tattooed on your left ass cheek."

Tara laughed feeling Opie's weight on top of her. "I am not getting your name tattooed on my ass Winston. I am not cattle. But I wouldn't mind putting your name over Jax's. I wouldn't want you to be thinking about Jax every time you had me in this position. Okay now get off of me. You are heavy."

Opie laughed and said "I wouldn't want to be thinking about Jax either. Opie started kissing the back of her neck and pushed her tank top up and over her head. "It would be a shame to waste having you in this position. I intend to try out every position I can think of with you. I think we should have get well sex..." He kissed a trail down her back and slipped her shorts off. It took some maneuvering but Opie got Tara out of all of her clothes in no time. Opie chuckled and said "Looking down at his name is distracting me from the task at hand."

Tara laughed and flipped over slapping his chest playfully. "I guess we will just have to have sex in the dark." She laughed and kissed him passionately and the two spent time making out. It didn't take long for Tara and Opie to ravage one another. It seemed like every time they made love it was more intense.

After awhile Opie flashed a mischievous grin and moved her into the previous position. He put his hand over the tattoo and laughed. "Presto change-o it is gone." said Opie laughing. He kissed the back of Tara's neck. He looked up and saw the decorative flowers that Donna had over the headboard. And that killed the mood for him. Opie said "You know…we are both injured this is probably a bad idea." Opie moved and laid on his back in the bed. "I am more tired than I thought I was and it is kinda late." said Opie giving another excuse.

Tara stunned only briefly. Tara had been so close to the edge and disappointment didn't even begin to explain how she felt. She cleared her throat and looked for the pajamas. She got up putting them back on. She climbed back into bed with Opie. "You are right…it is late." said Tara.

Opie kissed the top of Tara's head and didn't say anything for awhile. As much as he wanted to do it he just couldn't bring himself to be intimate in this bed after being reminded of Donna. This was the bed he had shared with his wife. The woman who had sacrificed so much for him and their marriage and had ultimately made the ultimate sacrifice of dying because of his lifestyle. He felt like he was somehow dishonoring her by sleeping in the bed with another woman let alone having sex with her. He felt tense and tried to concentrate on anything but his thoughts. He couldn't bring himself to look over at Tara. He felt like an idiot for getting started and then stopping so randomly.

The silence in the room seemed deafening to Tara. She looked over at Opie and saw the distressed look on his face. Her heart dropped realizing how difficult this was for him despite his objections. Tara laid there for a minute trying to figure out what to say to him or what to do but she couldn't think of anything.

So they laid there in silence until Opie couldn't take it anymore and he decided to pretend to be sleep. He closed his eyes and hoped that Tara would buy it.

Tara knew Opie wasn't asleep but she wasn't going to say anything. He had to handle things in his own time. Tara curled up against his body and closed her eyes too. It took awhile but she was finally able to drift off to sleep.

Eventually, Opie was able to fall asleep as well. Opie slept for half of the night before he started to talk in his sleep. "Donna…" said Opie in his sleep.

Tara woke up hearing Opie's voice and feeling him toss and turn a little. She turned on the lamp next to the bed and watched him for a moment debating on whether she should wake him up or not. But when Opie's movements got more frantic and it was obvious he was having a nightmare Tara shook his arm. "Opie! Wake up." said Tara in a hushed whisper so she didn't disturb the rest of the house.

Opie was startled out of his sleep and sat straight up in the bed. He grabbed Tara roughly still in the fog of his dream. It took him a moment but he snapped out of it. "Tara…I…I'm sorry…what's wrong?"

Tara was startled by his reaction but calmed down once he let her go. "It is okay. I was just waking you up because it looked like you were having a nightmare."

Opie looked at Tara for a minute and then nodded. "Yeah, I guess I was…I guess sleeping in this bed…has had more of an effect on me than I wanted to admit." It wasn't just that Opie didn't sleep in this bed with Tara he hadn't slept in this bed at all really since Donna died. "I am sorry for waking you up baby…let's go back to sleep." He kissed her cheek and laid back down wearily.

Tara said "Okay…I love you Ope…" Tara reached over and turned the lamp back out.

"I love you too." said Opie distractedly. He stared up at the ceiling trying to go back to sleep but his dream kept replaying for him.

Tara laid there curled up against Opie and felt how tense he was when she laid her arm across his chest. She moved her arm and scooted away from him to give him space in the big bed. Tara finally said "You know Opie…this bed isn't all that comfortable. I think it would be better for my back if we slept on the floor." Tara got out of the bed grabbing the pillows.

Opie said "Tara…come on. Your back is going to be killing you in the morning having that kind of direct pressure on your stitches."

"I am sleeping on the floor Opie…" said Tara tossing the pillows down and sitting down on the floor.

"I know what you are doing and I don't need you to do that. Just get back into the bed please." said Opie.

"You are really upset Opie…there is nothing wrong with sleeping on the floor. I don't mind. You are the one that said we should sleep in the bed. You don't have to do that for me. You aren't ready and I understand." said Tara.

Opie reluctantly got out of the bed and laid on the floor with Tara. He pulled her into his arms and said "I am sorry…I thought I was ready…I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize to me Opie…I love you and I am here. And I will be here when you are ready." said Tara.


	14. Chapter 14

Tara woke up before Opie did. She laid next to him watching his chest rise and fall as he snored. Other than waking up on the floor she thought that she could get used to waking up next to Opie every day. She got up quietly trying not to wake him and picked up her overnight bag. She went into the bathroom and took a hot shower.

Opie woke up hearing the shower running in the bathroom. He climbed off of the floor with a groan and had a seat on the bed. He waited for Tara to finished her shower and come out.

Tara walked out of the bathroom dressed in a dark denim skirt and a red sleeveless top. She smiled seeing Opie and walked over to him. "Good morning." said Tara leaning in to kiss him. "How did you sleep?" asked Tara.

"Morning." said Opie and playfully slapping her on the butt. "I slept well but then again I was pretty tired. You can't do much but sleep well when you are that tired. How about you…? I hope the floor wasn't too bad for you." said Opie with almost a sheepish look.

Tara said "The floor wasn't bad at all the important part was that I was here with you where I belong. I was thinking why I don't buy an air mattress for when I sleep over."

Opie laughed and said "I think I am too long for an air mattress. I am pretty sure more than half of my body would hang off of the thing."

Tara looked over Opie's hulking frame. Her eyes trailed over his muscular arms and chest. She gave a throaty laugh. "I think you might be right about that. You are a big, strong, powerful man." said Tara with a little more desire than she had intended. She laughed softly and said "Sorry…"

Opie laughed and said "Damn…I felt like you wanted to eat me up like a pork chop right then. Maybe there is something I can do for you…I know I left you hanging last night." Opie took her hand pulling her to him so that Tara was seated on his lap.

Tara sat on his lap and took in his scent. It was a strange mix of his cologne and the smell of motor oil. Tara said "Your kids will be awake very soon…you and I are going to have to take a rain check for any fun."

Opie said "Okay, I will be sure to hold you to that…" He looked at Tara for a minute and ran his fingers through her hair. "You know I was thinking what if I bought a new bed for the room…take down some of the decorations in here…I haven't touched this room since Donna died…maybe it is time that I do…I've been leaving this room like some sort of time capsule…a living tribute to the last day of Donna's life."

"I don't want you to do anything that you aren't ready for Opie. I've waited this long to be with you and to let you know that I love you. I can wait until you are ready." said Tara seriously.

"It isn't healthy living the way that I am living. And I know Donna…as much as I hate to say it…she would want me to actual live life…not just go through the motions like I have been doing. She'd want me to be happy…so I think it is time to make some changes to this bedroom…make it a little more me." said Opie.

Tara chuckled softly and said "A little more you? Does that mean that you are going to have a Harley sitting in the middle of your bedroom? Or maybe a reaper painted on the wall?"

Opie laughed and said "Well, the reaper actually does sound like a good idea now that you mention it." He chuckled and said "I was more meaning getting rid of the flower bed spread and all of that. These were Donna's decorating choices. I was thinking…now that you've made your choice…maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to let the kids know that we are dating one another…sooner or later they will catch on anyway."

Tara said "And here I thought you were into floral prints. I support you in whatever you want to do Opie. As little or as much." She kissed his cheek. "I wouldn't mind telling them that we are dating…but that means you'd actually have to take me out on a real date Winston." teased Tara.

"Oh a real date? I think I can do that…where do you want to go and when? It's been a long time since I've been on a date…" said Opie with a laugh.

She smirked and said "Well, that is for you to figure out and decide on. You are taking me out on a date not the other way around."

Opie laughed and kissed. "Alright smart ass…I will take you bowling or something. How would you like that?"

Tara chuckled and said "I'll kick your ass on the lanes and you will be embarrassed in public. I got good at drunken bowling in college."

"What am I going to do with you?" asked Opie shaking his head.

"Love me…?" asked Tara looking into his eyes.

"I think I can handle that…I already do." said Opie looking into her eyes. "So you want me to take you on a date. Are you busy tonight?" asked Opie with a mischievous grin.

"You are sweet when you want to be you know…like a big cuddly teddy bear." said Tara looking at him. "That grin has me concerned…but no I am not busy tonight I am all yours."

"Don't go around telling people that, you will ruin my rep." said Opie. "Good, then we will go on a date tonight…I'll tell you the time later… once I work out the details." Opie had a pretty good idea of where he wanted their date to be but he didn't know if he'd be able to pull it off.

"Like everyone doesn't already know that you have a heart of gold? Yeah you are a badass and dangerous…but for the people you love…you love the hell out of them. Well, I will be waiting on the details about our date. I am excited. So what are you doing today?" said Tara with a grin.

"I am going to take the kids out for breakfast and then I am going to go work at the garage. Gemma is cracking the whip…she said that Jax and I wouldn't have gotten shot if we weren't acting like children. But she has us on light work detail so I am thinking she just wants to keep an eye on us." said Opie.

"Well, you know Gemma…she is always keeping an eye on everyone and everything. I don't know how she does it…having to be responsible for everyone the way she is. It would drive me crazy…how did Mary handle it when she was Piney's old lady?" asked Tara.

Opie laughed and said "She didn't handle it…she wanted no part of it. Can't say I blame her…Pops has always been a surly son of a bitch that drank too much and chased skirts in front of her face. He basically let her know she was at the bottom of his priority list. He got worse once Clay leap frogged him as president of the club after John died. He knew the rules but didn't mean it made him feel any better that he would be taking orders from a guy nine years younger than him. But with the upheaval that happened right after John died there was no way that Pops could have led the club the way it was needed. The Mayans came at the club hard thinking that the club was weak because of the change of power. So he was hard to be around…him and Mary would fight all of the time. I don't understand how he could be that way with his wife. She was no prize…but she loved his crazy old ass…still does. I keep trying to convince her to come back to Charming…dad needs her and she wants him…I'll never understand women."

Tara smiled softly and said "I understand it perfectly…Piney might be old but he hasn't changed his priorities any Opie. Has he? It seems like it is still the club….you…himself…the booze…and the women…?"

Opie nodded and said "Well, it has changed a little…he put me before the club when I first found out what really happened to Donna. But you are right his priorities are pretty much the same. 1) the club, 2) me and the kids, 3) himself, and you know how the rest goes."

"No matter how old a woman gets…she isn't willing to be the last on her husband's list…and if she does…then she probably resents him." said Tara chuckling softly.

"Well, she definitely resents it but she blames the club for it. She was with him before he started the club and apparently he was different…club life changed him and apparently not for the better. But you don't have to worry…I am not that kind of person…I am nothing like Pops…" said Opie.

"I believe you Opie. I wouldn't believe that you could be that way. You are kind-hearted and considerate…you always have been…even when I was with Jax…you were always attempting to appeal to his better nature…prodding him to be a better boyfriend." said Tara.

"You noticed that hmmm? I thought that I was being subtle with it… I guess I was just always better at reading you than Jax was…I knew when you needed…I don't know how to put it." said Opie.

"You…" said Tara finishing his sentence. "I needed you Opie and I think we both knew it…but we were both young…and we didn't know what to do with what we felt…especially because Jax was a factor in the situation. We both loved Jax…we would have never done anything to hurt him. He was our best friend and we were his best friends. We were our own little family…" said Tara.

"I don't know…I think Jax couldn't fully understand us because…he had a relatively normal life with Gemma and John…yeah we were and I was attracted to you…I thought you were a hot piece of ass." said Opie laughing to make her laugh he knew that she was worried about how Jax would take things.

"There may be some truth to that…after my mom died…my life slid down the crapshoot so quickly…it was like a flash of lightening. I think my dad got drunk the day my mother died and never sobered up another day in his life." said Tara. Tara burst into laughter and pinched his thigh playfully."You are nasty."

"Life with Piney and Mary was no picnic…I can still remember waking up one morning to go to school and finding Pops kicking out one of his women…I think I might have been 12 or something. Mom was out of town at the time. Pops slipped me a twenty and told me not to say anything to mom." said Opie laughing. "Our parents' really fucked us up." "Hey no pinching! I am not nasty I was just appreciative of your body. You are still a hot piece of ass you know." said Opie smirking.

"Without even really trying…that has to say something about their skills." said Tara laughing. She laid her head on Opie's shoulder. "Speaking of young children seeing their father kick out his girlfriend I think I had better get out of here before Kenny and Ellie wake up." She laughed and said "Well, thank you for the compliment."

"They would hardly see me kicking you out…more like kissing you goodbye and slapping you on the ass." said Opie with a cocky grin.

Tara jabbed his ribs with her finger a couple of times and laughed. "That isn't funny Harry Winston. I don't want the kids getting the wrong idea about…you know…they are young still… and seeing me sneak out of the house in the morning is the wrong message. We've got to set an example for Kenny how to treat ladies and for Ellie…how not to be sneaking out of a man's house in the early hours of the morning."

Opie laughed said "Ow! What is with you and all of this physical contact of the bad kind? Where are the sweet caresses and pets?"

Tara said "Aw…." She caressed his cheek and then lightly slapped him and laughed. "Is that better?" asked Tara.

Opie laughed picking her up and dropping her on the bed. "Okay now you are going to get it!" Opie started tickling Tara

Tara laughed and squirmed trying to keep her laughing down."Opie stop it!" She laughed and kicked her legs trying to get away from him.

"Nope it is pay back for all of this hitting, poking, and pinching." said Opie laughing tickling her and slipping one of his hands under her shirt. Opie's hands went from tickling to caressing Tara's soft skin. He kissed and nibbled at her neck leaving a passion mark. "Now this sort of touching his acceptable…nice touching." teased Opie moving his kissing to another portion of her neck. His other hand gripped the hem of her skirt and tugged it upward.

"Opie…behave." muttered Tara half-heartedly as she felt her panties being tugged off.

"Look what I've got…." said Opie dangling her panties from one finger.

Tara laughed and reached for them.

Opie pulled back and said "Nope, you can't have them back yet." He chuckled and went back to kissing and nibbling at her neck leaving a new spot in a new place.

"Daddy?" called Ellie through the door. She knocked on the door. "Daddy! Kenny said we are out of cereal!"

Tara clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her moaning after hearing Ellie at the door.

Opie chuckled quietly at the expression on Tara's face. Opie got up from the bed. "Ellie, tell Kenny I am taking you two to the diner for breakfast. Both of you go and get ready." said Opie through the door.

They could hear Ellie's retreating footsteps and Ellie yelling. "Daddy said we are going out for breakfast Kenny!"

Tara got up from the bed quickly. "Opie give me my panties." whispered Tara.

"Nope…" said Opie twirling her panties on his finger. "I think I'd like to keep them…I'll give them back to you tonight on our date." said Opie.

Tara scowled at him and slapped his arm. "Oh I am going to get you back for this. How am I supposed to get out of here? The kids are awake…and we are in the back of the house with them I can't just sneak out…"

Opie said "Well, you could just walk right out of the room and say good morning." He chuckled knowing that she wouldn't do that and probably shouldn't do that.

Tara looked over at the window. "Out the window it is."

Opie laughed and said "Are you serious?"

She gave him a look and walked over to the window unlocking it and opening it.

"Okay you are serious…." said Opie.

"Toss me my overnight bag please." said Tara chuckling.

Opie grabbed her bag and walked over to the window.

"You go keep them distracted so I can get in my car and pull off." said Tara.

Opie shook his head. "You are a strange woman…and don't flash my neighbors because I am still keeping these panties. I love you."

Tara chuckled and said "I love you too now go."

Opie walked out of the bedroom closing the door behind him and went to check on his kids.

Tara tried to figure out how to hop out of Opie's window without hurting herself or exposing herself to the entire neighborhood. She was sitting on the window ledge with her legs hanging down.

Jax had been standing out front contemplating knocking on the front door when he saw legs hanging out the back window. Jax walked down the side of the house as Tara was about to hop out the window. "Do you need help?" asked Jax offering her his hand.

Tara squealed in surprise. "Damn it Jax! You scared the hell out of me…" "Well, yeah I could use some help." Tara took his hand.

Jax helped her off the window ledge getting flashed in the process. He whistled but didn't say anything.

"Uh thank you…good morning Jax." said Tara awkwardly not sure what to say to him.

"I'd say so…you are sneaking out of Opie's window early in the morning. Sounds like a very good morning." said Jax with a laugh.

Tara blushed and said "Uh yeah…the kids are awake…so I said I would sneak out of the window…I need to go…Opie is taking the kids to breakfast. Thanks again for your help Jax…" Tara rushed off down the driveway to get to her car.

Jax chuckled watching her and walked back around to the front of the house. He picked up the coffee, hot chocolate, and doughnuts he had bought and knocked on the front door as Tara was driving away.

Opie walked to the door thinking it was Tara. He was shocked to see Jax. "Uh…what's up man?" asked Opie.

"I brought a peace offering…coffee for us…hot chocolate for the kids and doughnuts." said Jax.

Opie laughed and said "Hot chocolate and doughnuts before school? They will be on a sugar high, at least they won't be with me. Come in." Opie wondered if Jax had seen Tara leaving but wasn't about to ask.

Kenny was walking into the living room and he spotted Jax. "Uncle Jax!"

"Harry Jr!" said Jax chuckling. "I brought glazed doughnuts and hot chocolate for you and your sister."

"Awesome!" said Kenny taking the hot chocolate and doughnuts from him. "Ellie!" yelled Kenny going to the kitchen.

Jax said "Well, I think we might not get any doughnuts with those two in the kitchen. But I brought coffee."

Piney saw the two of them talking and said "I will take the kids to school. Kenny! Ellie! Move it. Gramps is taking you to school and that means no stopping at stop signs!"

Kenny ran towards the door with his book bag and hot chocolate and a doughnuts in his hand. "Awesome!"

Ellie ran out behind him with the same. "Grandpa you could hurt someone."

"Well, then they better move out of the way princess."

Opie chuckled and said "Pop try to do the speed limit. Bye you two I will see you after school. Love you."

"Bye daddy!" Love you." said Ellie hugging him. "Bye uncle Jax." said Ellie running out the door.

"Later." said Kenny with a wave.

Piney nodded at the two of them and then walked out the door closing it behind him.

Opie picked up a cup at the same time Jax did and he realized that there was a third cup of coffee. Opie shot Jax a questioning glance.

"Oh I got one for Tara…but she was in a rush to get out of here. That is after she flashed me hopping out of your window." said Jax chuckling.

Opie shook his head. "Not funny…"

"Don't be so uptight she doesn't have anything that I am not intimately acquainted with." said Jax with a grin.

Opie laughed and said "Don't remind me…I saw your tattoo on her last night while we were in bed."

Jax chuckled and said "Well, I know what position y'all were in."

Opie shook his head. "You okay with all of this?"

"Last night? No, I wanted to kick down the door and kick your ass. But over night…I decided you are my brother and you always will be…and I shouldn't let a woman come between us…not even Tara. Besides maybe you will kick the bucket at some point and I will have to take care of her." joked Jax laughing.

Opie nearly spit out his coffee. "That is some twisted fucking logic."

"What? You are the one that plays with explosives…there is a certain probability that you might blow yourself up one of these days." said Jax laughing. "The point is…I love you brother and she picked you so that is what matters."

Opie said "That is good to hear man. I didn't know how you would take the news…I love you too brother. And if I die…you have my word I won't haunt you for banging my woman."

Jax chuckled and said "Who knows it could be kinda kinky like a ghost threesome. You know I bet we could have both hit that when we were in high school if we would have tried hard enough. She was easily convinced of everything when she was drunk back then."

Opie laughed and said "You are probably right she was a very happy drunk but she would have kicked our asses after when she sobered up…or worse ratted us out to Gemma."

"Yeah you are right. She would have kicked our asses and told my mom." said Jax. He was quiet for a while before finally saying "So I figure the only way for us to save face is to kick each others' asses in the ring at the club. I need a couple of days for my leg to heal more."

Opie said "I can deal with that…it should be a handicap match…we should both be drunk first."

Jax nodded and said "I can agree to that…we can let Bobby handle breaking us up."

"That works for me. You know I am going to kick your ass right?" asked Opie laughing.

"The bigger they are the harder they fall…so you should fall pretty hard." said Jax chuckling.

"You know…I didn't think Tara was actually going to hop out of my window and leave…she left without her panties." said Opie taking the thing out of his pocket.

Opie and Jax both burst into later.


	15. Chapter 15

Opie arrived at Tara's house at 8:00 that night. He knocked on her door and then leaned against the wall waiting for her to answer. He knew that it was stupid but he actually felt a little nervous at the prospect of having a real date with Tara. He wanted the night to be a good one. He hadn't been on a date since before he had married Donna. He felt out of practice.

Tara had been waiting around for Opie to call or show up. She was starting to lose hope because earlier he had told her he would call her with the details. Tara opened the door and smiled. "Hi, you." Tara leaned up and kissed him. "I was wondering if we were going to have that date tonight or not. Do you want to come in?"

Opie chuckled and said "I am a man of my word baby." He walked into the house closing the door behind him. He looked around the house that was more than familiar to him. Tara might have painted the walls and bought a few pieces of new furniture but it still looked the same to him. Most of the old furniture was still there including the bookcase he had thrown her father into.

Tara glanced over at Opie seeing his gaze lock onto the bookcase. She walked over and slipped her arm through his. "You've always been a good man Opie…even before you were sure what that really meant…"

"I still don't know if I know what that really means. All I know is that you've got to protect the people you love." said Opie kissing her forehead. "So I have a date planned for the two of us I can't say if it is a good date or not…but it is the one that I came up with. Pops is watching Kenny and Ellie tonight. I thought maybe I could spend the night here after our date."

"That is what a good man does Opie…" said Tara. She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "I am sure that I will enjoy any date you come up with unless you are taking me to a strip club…then I don't know. Am I dressed okay for this date?" asked Tara looking down at her low rider jeans and a faded Guns N Roses t-shirt.

Opie laughed and said "Well, you don't have to worry about that. There are no strip clubs in your immediate future. You are dressed perfect don't worry about it. Let's go we are taking my truck tonight."

"Ohh, I was hoping that we were taking your bike…all of that vibration…" said Tara grabbing her purse and keys and walking out of the house with Opie. She locked the door behind her and followed him out to his truck.

Opie raised an eyebrow and laughed. "I will give you vibration alright." Opie climbed into his truck and closed the door. "I remember when you were afraid of riding on a motorcycle."

Tara smirked at him and said "I remember when I was afraid of a lot of things. Lucky me I grew up now I love motorcycles."

"Are you ready?"asked Opie starting up the truck. He chuckled and said "Well, maybe we should get you a starter bike so that you can learn how to ride."

"Let's go…! Oh yeah I am sure I would fall over with the damn bike and embarrass myself. I would never be able to live it down I know you." said Tara laughing.

Opie drove for about 30 minutes and pulled up to a pretty deserted place. There was a small house with a pond in front of it.

Tara looked around trying to figure out where they were but she couldn't place the location. "Where are we Opie?" asked Tara.

"We are at my mom's cottage…Pops used to bring her out here when she needed to get away from club life…I thought this might become a place for you and me…" said Opie getting out of the truck. He grabbed a bag from the back of the truck and walked around to Tara's door opening it for her.

Tara got out of the truck. "Thank you." She kissed his cheek and closed the door. "Does she ever come here anymore? It is beautiful Opie." said Tara.

Opie shook his head. "Nah…neither one of them do…" Opie spread a blanket out on the ground and said "Why don't you have a seat?" He walked back to the truck and grabbed a cooler and set it next to the blanket.

Tara peeked into the cooler and said "Oooh beer." She grabbed a bottle and opened it.

Opie started building a fire not far from the blanket. Once he got it started good he sat on the blanket with Tara. "We will have to roast hot dogs for dinner…I know it isn't very romantic…."

Tara cut him off and said "I think it is incredibly romantic Opie. I think it is beautiful." Tara opened a beer for him and handed it to him. She took off her shoes and relaxed on the blanket. She looked over at the pond and smiled. "It is such a beautiful night out tonight…"

"I just wanted to do something nice for you…I couldn't think of anywhere special to take you…that you hadn't already been with Jax…or that we hadn't been to as a group. I know I am not Jax but…I do love you and I think I can make you happy. Yeah it is a nice night out. I am just glad it didn't rain or my plans would have been shot to hell. But I did have a back up." said Opie drinking his beer.

"Opie, you don't have to compete with Jax. The three of us have a very long history…and Charming is a very small town. There isn't going to be much the two of us can do that will be unique to our relationship. But what matters to me is that I am with you. I chose you…you are the man that I want to be with…not Jax. So…try to stop comparing yourself to him. Because I certainly don't." said Tara.

Opie looked into her eyes and lightly caressed her cheek. "I am sorry…I guess it is a habit of mine. I know it sounds crazy but it is still hard for me to believe that you would choose me over Jax. He's like the James T. Kirk, the Steven Tyler, or the Mick Jagger of SAMCRO."

"Why is it so surprising that I would choose you? You are a great man Opie. And as much as we both tried to avoid it…we have both known that we had feelings for one another…even before we really knew what they were or what to do with them. There were so many times that I wanted to just yell at you to kiss me…you used to look at me with these intense looks like you were trying to read my mind…" She chuckled when he compared Jax to a list of leading men. "Well, lucky for you I've always been attracted to the guy in the background…"

Opie chuckled and said "There were times that I just wanted to kiss you…I just felt a connection with you and I couldn't really explain it…and I couldn't talk to my two best friends about it." Opie wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

She drank her beer and stared at the reflection of the stars on the surface of the pond. "If I didn't think I would freeze to death I think I would go for a swim. I love swimming at night. The water looks so pristine right now."

"You used to like to go swimming at night when we were younger…I always thought you were crazy for that. I wasn't completely sure that you didn't have a death wish." said Opie.

Tara smiled softly and said "I've always loved swimming at night…the moon and the stars reflecting on the water…it felt like I was swimming in the sky. It felt like I was truly free...and I could go anywhere I wanted to go…"

"Do you still feel like you need to escape?" asked Opie pulling her in closer to him seeing her rub her forearms like she was cold.

Tara shook her head and said "I don't have anything to run from anymore…it is a strange feeling but I feel at home." Tara stared at the fire crackling in front of them. "You always had a penchant for fires…" said Tara.

Opie laughed and said "I have a knack for fires…I used to love playing with fire. I told Kenny and Ellie tonight that you and I were dating. They took the news pretty good. Kenny…didn't really seem to care he just wanted to know if that meant that you would make him cakes more often. And Ellie just asked if you were going to come over and hang out tonight. So you were worried about nothing at all. But I appreciate that you were so concerned about my kids. That means a lot to me Tara…"

Tara looked relieved and said "Well, I am really glad to hear that…I was worried…I freaked out the first time my dad told me he had a new girlfriend…I wasn't ready for it. I guess I am even more sensitive to what they are going through because I've been where they are. Of course I am concerned about your kids. I love them. They are great kids. And they've been through so much but they are so resilient. I would never want to do anything to cause them any pain. "

Opie smiled looking at Tara. "Well, I guess it isn't springing anything on them for the last couple of months you've been at our house everyday that you weren't working and on most of the days that you were working." "I want to make you my old lady…I don't want any confusion or anything about what we are…I don't need any extra time I know this is the right thing to do."

Tara's eyes widened in surprise but then again Jax had made her his old lady in a relatively short period of time too. She said "Are you sure that you want to do that…I mean you and Jax…."

Opie stopped her and said "Jax and I talked about all of it today…we are okay. And I know that this is the right move. I love you and I want you to be my old lady. It is important to me…" Opie knew that he was rushing her and he was rushing himself. But making her his old lady was the best way to make sure Jax understood that she was off limits. It was the only way to stop any future fights. They had a tenuous truce for the moment but there was no telling when the flames could start up again.

Tara flashed a small smile. "If you want me to be your old lady then I will be…"

He smiled and said "Then you are." The two of them relaxed and drank beer and roasted hot dogs. They just talked for a few hours enjoying being together.

Around 2 in the morning they headed back to Tara's house for the night. Tara locked the door behind them. "I haven't had anyone sleep over in a long time. This should be interesting." said Tara leading the way to her bedroom. "I am going to get a quick shower."

Opie sat at the bottom of the bed taking off his boots tiredly. He took off shirt with a groan still feeling the pain from being shot. He stripped off his pants and climbed into Tara's bed and laid back. "Don't take too long I still owe you a rain check from this morning."

"Trust me I won't be long. I have not forgotten my rain check." said Tara. She went into the bathroom taking a quick shower. She came out in a blue, thigh length, lace night gown. "Ope…"

Opie was laying in the bed with his hands tucked behind his head. He was fast asleep. He was spread out across her bed hardly leaving any space for her to squeeze into. He was sleeping so peacefully and looked so comfortable.

Tara chuckled quietly about to climb into bed with him when she had a better idea. Tara crept quietly from the bedroom and into her kitchen. She filled a ziplock bag up with ice and crept back into her bedroom. Tara gently climbed onto the bed so that she didn't wake up Opie. She snickered quietly almost feeling bad for what she was about to do to the slumbering man that she loved. She grabbed the elastic of his boxers and pulled upward and dumped all of the ice from the ziplock into his boxers.

It only took a few moments for Opie to be jolted awake by the sudden sensation of cold in his boxer shorts. Opie hopped out of the bed with a yelp. "What the hell? Why did you do that?" crowed Opie. He did a crazy dance trying to shake the ice out of his boxers. Some of the ice cubes fell to the floor but the majority of them were still trapped in his boxers. "Tara!" yelled Opie laughing. He hurriedly pulled his boxers off and the remainder of the ice fell to the wood floor with a loud clatter.

Tara was on her bed laughing hysterically. "The only way this could have been better is if I caught it on tape! You know you are incredibly agile for such a big man. I told you that I was going to get you back! The soaking me with the sprayer in your kitchen a couple of nights ago and stealing my panties yesterday morning! And you fell asleep on my rain check! I have needs you know! Payback is a bitch!" Tara hopped off the bed doing a victory dance.

Opie laughed and said "You are twisted!" He grabbed her and tossed her onto the bed and started tickling her relentlessly. "How is your pay back working for you now?" asked Opie laughing.

Tara laughed and squirmed trying to get away from him. "It is funny and you know it!" She laughed and said "Stop tickling me! You are lucky it was ice and not icy hot."

Opie heard her say icy hot and laughed harder. "What have I gotten myself into with you?" He tickled her more but soon his tickling turned into caressing and kissing.

Tara moaned slightly. She giggled. "Are you going to be able to rise to the challenge after all that ice?" asked Tara with a giggle.

Opie quirked an eyebrow at her. "You are pure evil woman. Don't worry about me…I can always rise to the occasion."


	16. Chapter 16

A week went by as Opie and Tara got used to their new relationship. Tara would spend the evenings with Opie and the kids if she didn't have to work. Opie bought a new bed for his bedroom but Tara had yet to spend a night over in his new bed. So far everything in their relationship was going great but then again it had only been a week….

Tara looked at herself in the mirror and pulled her hair up into a ponytail. She was almost done getting ready for a party at the club. Tara wanted to spend a quiet night at home with Opie but Opie had to go to the party and she was definitely going to go with him. She put the finishing touches on her make-up when she heard a knock at the door. Tara walked to the door and opened it with a smile seeing Opie. "Hi baby." said Tara.

Opie's eyes trailed over her from her heels, to her low rise leather pants, to her black tank top. He smirked. "Hi…you look hot Tara." He leaned in and kissed her. "Are you ready for this party?" asked Opie wrapping his arms around her. He knew that she hadn't been to many parties at the club since she had been back home. It could be a little overwhelming for people who weren't used to it. But if they were going to be together for the long haul she had to get used to the club at some point.

"I am ready to have a good time. Gemma said that you guys go all out for a party so I am ready for that. Besides after working a double shift yesterday I am ready to let my hair down and get drunk. Are you and Jax really going to fight tonight?" asked Tara looking up at Opie. She stretched her arms up over his shoulders.

"Yes, we are really going to fight tonight. We won't be the only ones fighting tonight though. Tig and Happy are going to get into the ring too at some point. Half-Sack is going to be fighting tonight too. Don't worry if the fight gets too out of hand Bobby will break us up." said Opie laughing. He kissed her.

"So what is this party for anyway?" asked Tara. "I went by the club earlier to drop off a case of whiskey Gemma asked me to pick up. It looked like she was preparing for the apocalypse with all of the food and booze she had lined up."

"The Prospect got his patch and this is just a party to celebrate that." said Opie talking about Half-Sack. "I still remember the party after me and Jax got patched. I couldn't find my clothes after two days of partying. Come on let's get going. The party started a long time ago." said Opie laughing.

Tara grabbed her bag with her medical supplies in it just in case they needed it. Somehow grown men fighting in a boxing ring sounded like trouble. Tara followed Opie out of the house and locked the door behind her. She walked out to his bike and climbed onto the back of it.

Opie handed her is spare helmet. "Here you go baby. Remember to hold on tight."

Tara smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thanks. Always…" Tara put on the helmet and then held onto Opie's sides tightly. Tara was a little nervous about going to the party as Opie's old lady but she was going to see it through.

Opie took off for the club and made it there in no time. The party was already in full swing when they arrived. The music was blaring loudly and there were plenty of bikers there from the club as well other charters. But it wasn't just bikers in attendance. It looked like every hanger-on and sweet butt in the tri-state area had descended on the party.

Gemma was having a beer talking to Luann when she spotted Opie and Tara together. "I am glad to see the Doc showed up after all. Can't let your man go to whore central on his own. Might get ideas…"

Luann nodded and said "That is for sure or he won't be your man for long. I used to watch Otto like a hawk. How are they doing anyway? How is Jax doing with it?"

Gemma said "So far so good. I've been keeping my eye on situation. The two of them were like little boys both wanting to play with the same toy."

Tara spotted Gemma and walked over to her since Opie had gone over to the guys. "Hi, Gemma. Hi, Luann. Wow…I didn't expect there to be so many people here…where all of the guys from?" asked Tara. If she was going to be a part of this then she wanted to learn from the best and Gemma was the person to give her a proper tutorial.

"Hi sweetheart. I didn't know if you were going to be here." said Luann with a smile.

Gemma said "Hi darlin. Well, a couple of guys from a few of the charters came in for the celebration. We've got guys from some of the charters up north. Sort of as a salute to the mother charter."

Tara said "And the women?" Tara looked around at the women who ranged in age from early twenties to some as old as Gemma maybe older. The younger set Tara didn't explanations for. She knew hanger-ons and sweet butts when she saw them.

Gemma chuckled and said "Some of them are old ladies but most of them are hanger-on groupies looking for a new dick. Half-Sack is going to have more women on him than he knows what to do with. But don't go letting your guard down. These bitches will fuck any man from the club. Cops have badge bunnies…well this is the equivalent of that. You are new…they are going to try you. Mark my words."

Tara was a little concerned about that. She had seen firsthand the way women threw themselves at Jax. She already had trust issues the last thing she wanted to worry about was some woman throwing herself at Opie. She hadn't really fought since she had left Charming in her teens. "I trust Opie…he isn't the type to cheat…"

Gemma saw the wheels turning in Tara's head and chuckled at the scowl that was now on her face. "Club life hasn't changed since you were a teen. If Opie is your man you better damn well be ready to kick a bitch's ass to let her know that. I trust Clay…but I am still on the lookout for anyone that steps out of line." Gemma looked toward the boxing ring and said "Looks like one of the fights is about to start."

Tara said "I am going to go watch the fight. Something about men knocking the hell out of one another is kind of hot." Tara laughed and walked off grabbing a beer on the way over to watch the fight. She couldn't tell Gemma that she was worried about Opie and Jax getting in the ring together.

The first fight was between Tig and Happy. They might have been brothers but they were going after one another in a fury. The crowd was cheering loudly for the fight and money was being put down on the fight.

Opie walked over to Tara seeing her watching the fight and cheering. He chuckled and said "I didn't think you would watch something so savage?" He laughed.

"I can't help it…I do like watching a good fight. It looks like they are going to kill one another." said Tara. Whereas, she was enjoying this fight her mind couldn't help but wander to the fight that would be coming up some time in the evening. She didn't want to think about Jax and Opie fighting one another.

Opie stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "So who do you think will win the fight? Me or Jax?" He chuckled knowing she wouldn't like the question at all.

Tara laughed and said "I just want both of you to be able to walk out of the ring under your own power. But…you are my man…I want you to win."

Opie chuckled and kissed her neck "That is the answer I was looking for." Opie chuckled and stood with her watching Tig and Happy fight. Eventually the fight ended with Tig knocking Happy out. Bobby and Kozik from the Tacoma chapter got into the ring to break it up. Opie kissed the back of Tara's head. "Jax and I are up next."

Clay stood at the side of the ring smoking a cigar watching to be sure the fight didn't get out of hand.

Gemma made her way over to the ring and stood next to Clay.

Opie walked up to the ring and climbed inside taking off his cut, his shirt, and his rings.

Jax climbed into the ring doing the same thing. He looked over at his best friend knowing that this was the only way to settle the issues between them. They needed to fight this one out.

Opie stared at Jax feeling a little bad for the beating he was about to unleash on his friend.

The two men met in the middle of the ring. "Let's do this." said Jax.

Jax and Opie didn't waste any time fighting one another. The fight was violent and brutal which brought cheers from the crowd. No one but the people from the club knew how serious this really was.

Tara was on her fourth beer watching the fight and she cringed every time a punch was thrown. She hadn't thought that a fight between the two men could have been more violent than the one that day in the kitchen but this was definitely worse.

The fight went on for what seemed like forever before Opie knocked Jax off of his feet.

Jax fell flat on his back onto the canvas of the ring. Jax hopped back up and the two continued to fight.

Clay looked at Tig and shook his head letting him know to break it up.

Tig climbed into the ring to pull Opie back.

Bobby climbed in as well to pull Jax back.

Opie moved back voluntarily. His own face was a bloody mess. He climbed out the ring the victor. His eyes scanned the crowd for Tara worried about how she had taken the whole scene. He walked over to her and kissed her. He looked at her face and saw he had gotten blood on her. "I'm sorry." said Opie using his thumb to wipe is blood off of her face. Opie searched her eyes worriedly.

She smiled at him and said "Well, at least I know that you can take a punch." She laughed and kissed him. "You okay baby?" asked Tara looking at him.

Opie smiled at her glad to see a smile on her face. "Yeah….I am great…I was more worried about how you were going to take it…"

"I don't know two men fighting over me in a ring…I think you just boosted my ego." teased Tara but it was obvious that she was relieved that the fight was over and that both of them were okay. "Your face is a mess." said Tara.

"You love me even when I'm ugly baby?" asked Opie laughing.

"You know it…come on let me clean your face up at least." said Tara.

Opie walked away from the fight with her and sat in a chair.

Tara got her supplies out of her bag and cleaned Opie's face. After she finished she poked one of the band aids on his face. "Does that hurt?"

Opie laughed and said "Ow…and yes it does hurt. Why?"

Tara laughed and said "Just checking." She kissed him.

Jax walked over having been patched up by Chibs. Jax extended his hand to Opie. "Good fight Ope."

Opie shook his hand. "Yeah good fight man."

Jax chuckled and walked off to get a drink.

Opie said "I am going to go hang out with Jax for a bit." He slapped Tara on the butt. "I will see you in a bit okay?"

Tara chuckled and said "Okay." Tara grabbed herself another drink and watched some of the guys doing tricks on their motorcycles.

About two hours passed and Tara hadn't seen Opie again. Tara remembered what Gemma had said to her earlier in the night and looked around seeing the scantily clad women throwing themselves at every available biker they saw. She decided to go and look for Opie.

Opie was leaning against the wall of the club with some girl standing in front of him talking. Opie wasn't really paying her any attention.

The girl was a leggy blonde and she was wearing a pair of cut offs that barely covered anything and a tube top. "Opie do you want to go back to your room?" asked Sheila with a smirk.

Opie was drunk and wasn't at all interested in the girl. He was mostly just humoring her. "Sheila…thanks but no thanks. Why don't you go see if any of the other guys are interested?"

"But what I want is you." said Sheila with a smirk. "I will do anything you want…absolutely anything…you could have a real good time with me and a friend of mine." said Sheila nodding her head over to a red head that was putting the moves on another biker.

Opie chuckled and said "Thanks but no thanks." Opie was faithful and wasn't about to cheat on Tara. He didn't see Tara walking up.

Tara walked over and stood next to Opie. "Get lost." said Tara to the girl. Tara eyed the girl seeing her in a tube top that was two sizes too small and was barely containing her breasts. Tara felt her temper rising at the fact that Opie had even been standing there with the chick.

Sheila rolled her eyes at Tara. She was from around town so she already knew who Tara was. "I'll move on when I am ready to…why don't you go and play doctor somewhere else. Opie is busy with me right now…" Sheila took Opie's hands and placed them on her breasts and winked at him.

Opie removed his hands and went to say something but before he could Tara moved between him and Sheila.

"Get your skanky ass away from my man. Go find someone else to give a venereal disease to. Opie is taken…" said Tara. Tara recognized Sheila from around town and knew she was a die hard 'crow-eater'. These chicks would do anything to have sex with a member of the club.

"You are out of your league here doctor…you don't belong…Opie needs something hot and wild to keep him going…so back off bitch before you get yourself hurt." said Sheila. Sheila shoved Tara into the wall next to Opie and slapped her. She grabbed a handful of Tara's hair pulling it.

Everyone's attention was drawn to the chick fight and a crowd started to form around the fight. There were cheers and hoots.

Tara hadn't wanted to fight but now she was in a position where she had to. Sheila thought she could intimidate Tara and some of the other girls were watching the exchange. If Tara didn't make a statement now they'd be all over Opie. Tara wasn't about to get into some hair pulling match she was about to kick some ass. Tara punched Sheila in the face twice and then gave her a couple of upper cuts.

The first two punches looked like they had broken Sheila's nose. She cried out in pain holding her nose. The blonde stumbled backwards on her stiletto heels trying to stop herself from falling down. She was off balance and landed ass first on the ground. She was crying with blood running from her nose.

Tara kicked her in the face sending the girl's head flying backwards, her head bounced against the pavement. "Stay the hell away from my man! Do you understand me bitch?"asked Tara. She had her high heel shoe resting on Sheila's throat.

Sheila laid on the ground her nose and mouth bleeding. She coughed spitting out blood.

"I can't hear you!" yelled Tara pressing her foot down harder on Sheila's throat.

Opie grabbed Tara pulling her away from Sheila. "Enough!" said Opie pulling Tara away from Sheila. Opie literally had to pick Tara off of her feet to keep her from kicking Sheila in the face again.

Sheila's friends helped her up and off of the lot.

Opie carried Tara into the club and into his room. He closed the door. He finally set her down on her feet. "What the hell….?" asked Opie looking at her. He had never seen Tara quite so aggressive.

Tara said "I wouldn't have had to do anything if you weren't letting her hang on you! But it might as well have happened tonight it was going to have to happen at some point. I don't share and if you ever cheated on me it'd kill me Opie…" Tara had enough trust issues to choke a horse.

Opie said "She wasn't hanging on me. She was talking and I wasn't even interested baby. You are the one that I want. You don't have to worry about that. There is nothing that she can do for me and there is nothing that I want from her. I was telling her to get lost when you walked up."

"Well, what was she talking about…?" asked Tara quirking and eyebrow at him. She felt like she could trust Opie but Gemma had told her long before that it was the women you had to watch out for.

"She was offering me a threesome…" said Opie chuckling a little thinking about it. "She said she was willing to do anything…." said Opie shaking his head. "I don't even want to know what anything entails."

"Were you tempted?" asked Tara.

"Not for a second…I want you Tara…that is it. But if you'd like to give me a threesome for my birthday I would not reject it. I think that every man has had that fantasy once or twice." said Opie with a cocky grin.

Tara punched him in the ribs. "We can have a threesome if it is with another guy." said Tara jokingly. "Besides, there is no way you've been in SAMCRO this long and you haven't had a threesome already." said Tara laughing.

"Ow! I was in a fight earlier." said Opie when she punched him in the ribs. He laughed and said "Settle down killer." He laughed and said "Yeah…that is never going to happen. I don't share with other men." He just smirked when she raised the point that surely he had had a threesome before.

Tara chuckled and said "Oh don't be a big baby. I didn't hit you that hard." She laughed and said "Well, we have that in common…I don't share with other women. Looks like neither one of us will ever get a threesome. Darn…"

Opie chuckled softly and pulled her into his arms. "I know that you have been hurt before…and I know it can be hard knowing that these women hang around all of the time. But if you can believe anything…you can believe this...I waited this long to have you as my old lady. I am not about to screw it up now."

Tara smiled at him and sat down on the bed in his room. She looked down at her heels. "She got blood on my shoes." said Tara with a frown.

Opie just started laughing. "I'll buy you new ones." said Opie laying down on the bed.

Tara kicked off her shoes and said "Oooh shoe shopping." Tara straddled Opie and moved against him in a teasing fashion just being playful. "You know…we haven't had sex here in your room at the club yet…" said Tara with a cheeky grin.

Opie smiled when she climbed on top of him his hands went to her butt and gave it a squeeze. Opie chuckled and said "You are right we haven't…we should fix that."

Tara smirked and said "I am glad that you agree with me." Tara moved and stripped out of her clothes standing on the bed doing a playful strip tease for Opie.

Opie grinned like a Cheshire cat watching her moves. Opie stripped off his own clothes in quick order and grabbed Tara's hand pulling her back down on top of him. It was like something had been set off in both of them. Something about both of them fighting that night to stake their claim on one another fueled their passion for one another. The two of them made love twice before collapsing on the bed together in a sweaty tangled heap.

Opie caressed her back as they laid together in the bed. "I am tired and too wasted to ride home tonight. Do you mind if we just stay here?" asked Opie.

Tara laid her head on his chest. "I don't mind at all. I was actually thinking the same thing."

"Good." said Opie chuckling. He closed his eyes tiredly. "I know you've had your heart broken before Tara. But I won't do that to you. Your heart is safe with me." said Opie.

Tara smiled softly hearing Opie. "I believe you Opie…I love you."

"I love you too Tara." said Opie.


	17. Chapter 17

The next morning Opie woke up first. He looked over at Tara seeing that she was still out of it. He chuckled and laid there resting with his hands behind his head. He groaned at the glare of the sun shining into the mirror across from the window. He glanced at the clock next to him and saw that it was already 10:00 in the morning. But the previous day and night had been long and eventful. He chuckled to himself thinking about Tara attacking Sheila the night before. The chuckling made Opie groan his body was really feeling the effects of the fight last night. His ribs would be sore for awhile he knew that much. Seeing Tara fight last night made him remember the old Tara. How she used to be when they were younger. She was a spitfire that liked to drink and fight and caused about as much trouble and he and Jax did. He had to admit it was pretty sexy watching Tara fight Sheila. Although fight wasn't really the term he would use.

Tara woke up thirty minutes later and snuggled with Opie. She opened her eyes and groaned at the sun light. "You need better curtains in this room Winston. The sun light is making my hang over worse." She smiled. "Good morning." said Tara. She moved up some and kissed Opie softly. Tara stretched her fingers and groaned a little. She frowned. "My hand hurts." said Tara laughing a little.

"Good Morning baby.' said Opie kissing her. He circled an arm around her. "I can't believe you actually stayed the night here at the club. How did you sleep?" Opie caressed her arm and just looked into her eyes. He smiled realizing just how much he loved this woman. They went so well together it seemed so strange to him that it took so long for them to get together. But now that they were together he was going to do whatever was necessary to keep her happy. "I am sure it does...tends to happen when you punch people." He looked at his own red knuckles.

"Sleeping here wasn't too bad. Your room isn't disgusting or anything. It is fairly junky though. I always sleep good when I am with you. I've missed spending the night with you the last couple of nights. Maybe I could spend the night at your place tonight?" asked Tara with a smile. "I had to do something...the rest of the crow-eaters where watching. If didn't make a statement last night you'd have women throwing themselves at you left and right. I am sure I will have to fight again because they will want to try me again."

"You won't hear any complaints from me. We can give that new bed a work out." said Opie with a mischievous grin. He chuckled and said "You don't have to do that you know? I am not going to cheat on you. I love you baby. You can trust me."

"I do trust you Opie. What I don't trust are the whores that will throw themselves at you every chance they get. I am not going to put up with it. I made that mistake with Jax. I will not make that mistake again. And not just that…it is about respect. I am your old lady…and they are going to respect that." said Tara.

Opie chuckled and didn't argue with her. He could tell her mind was pretty well made up. "I am glad that it is Saturday. I don't really feel like doing any work today. I am tired after last night." Opie got a look at the other side of her face. "Damn...you've got a pretty good hand print from where she slapped you." said Opie looking at Tara. He gently turned her head so he could get a better look at that side of her face.

Tara laughed and said 'You haven't seen your face obviously. You should look in the mirror. If I hadn't been there last night I would think that Jax kicked your ass. Well, that a couple of Jaxes kicked your ass. But I think it is sexy that you can take a punch."

He chuckled and said " Do I really look that bad? I am sure I will scare the kids when I see them." Opie's cell phone started to ring. He got out of the bed and searched for his jeans. He reached in the pocket taking out his cell phone and answered it. "Hello?"

Piney said "Where the hell are you boy?"

Opie said "I am still at the club. Is everything okay?"

"You need to come on home. The baby sitter had to leave this morning. I am here with them but I am supposed to be leaving for the cabin in an hour. You better not make me late for my birthday celebration boy." said Piney slightly irritated. This was the one time of year when he and Mary spent time together alone. He usually met her up at the cabin and they spent a weekend together. And nothing got in the way of him spending his weekend with her.

Opie said "Shit… Pop...I forgot all about that. I will be there in about 20 minutes. Do you want me to drive you up there?"

"I don't need a chauffeur. I need you to get your ass home so that I can leave soon. Your mother will be pissed if she makes it to the cabin and I am not there. You better be here." grumbled Piney hanging up on Opie.

Opie laughed and looked over at Tara. "We've got to go baby. Pops is supposed to be leaving for the cabin at noon for his birthday. I forgot that he was supposed to be leaving today. That is why he didn't stay long at the party last night. He wanted to be rested up for his weekend."

"He is going to spend his birthday alone?" asked Tara confused. "Why doesn't he just stay here in town and celebrate with the club?" asked Tara getting out of the bed and looked around room for her discarded clothing and started getting dressed.

"He doesn't go up there to be alone. Mary goes up there and spends the weekend with him. He calls it his weekend of love. I don't like to think about it really." said Opie laughing. Piney was an old horndog even if he did have an oxygen tank.

"Piney and Mary? Weekend of love?" asked Tara a little shocked as she finished getting dressed. She shuddered a little.

"Yeah...there you go...now you have the mental image I have." said Opie laughing. He got up from the bed and started getting dressed. He put on his cut and walked over kissing her. "Come on let's go beautiful." said Opie wrapping an arm around her.

Tara and Opie walked out of his room and through the club. There were bikers and women in various stages of undress in every nook and cranny of the club. Including Tig sleeping on the pool table. There were a few people awake having coffee at the bar.

Gemma saw Opie and Tara heading out. Gemma got up from the bar and walked over. "Where are the two of you headed?"

"Home…Pop is there with the kids and he is itching to start his weekend at the cabin with mom." said Opie laughing a little.

Gemma laughed and said "Well, wish Piney an early happy birthday for me."

Opie laughed and said "I will do that. I'll see you later Gemma."

Tara smiled at Gemma and said "Bye Gemma."

Gemma smiled and said "I am proud of you sweetheart. I knew you had it in you. Bye."

Tara smiled at Gemma and then walked out with Opie. She walked over to his bike and climbed on behind him.

Opie handed her his extra helmet "Hold on baby."

Tara put on the helmet and held on tight to Opie as he sped off the lot toward home. They arrived there in no time and Tara climbed off the bike.

Piney was walking out of the house carrying his bags for the weekend. Piney looked at the both of them and asked "Do I even want to know what happened?"

Opie laughed and said "I'll tell you when you come back from your trip. Do you have everything Pop?"

Piney said "I know how to pack for the damn trip. I've got everything I need for a good weekend with your mother: music, booze, and marijuana."

Opie chuckled and said "You really get mom to smoke pot with you?" He could never imagine Mary smoking pot or anything like that.

"You'd be surprised what I can get your mother to do for my birthday." said Piney with a smirk.

Opie's eyes widened and said "Goodbye Pop….thanks for scarring me for the rest of my life. I appreciate that." He clapped him on the back."Have a safe trip if you need anything let me know."

"Piney did you make sure you packed your meds and your extra oxygen tank?" asked Tara.

Piney laughed at Opie's reaction and said "Nothing between a man and a woman can ever really be wrong son…nothing at all." Piney smiled at Tara said "Yes, Doc I packed it all. Take care of my boy while I am gone darlin' make sure he doesn't get himself into any trouble."

Tara chuckled and said "I will take care of him Piney. Happy Birthday in advance."

"Thank you." said Piney. He climbed into his car and waved before starting up the car and driving off.

Opie wrapped his arms around her. "So are you going to take care of me this weekend?" He smirked looking into her eyes.

She laughed and said "Maybe…if I feel like it." She chuckled and wriggled out of his arms and headed into the house.

Kenny was stretched out on the couch watching cartoons and Ellie was parked on the floor watching. They didn't bother looking up when Tara and Opie walked into the house.

Opie laughed and said "I am glad that my kids are so happy to see me!"

"Hi." said Kenny not breaking his gaze from the TV.

"Hi daddy. Hi auntie Tara." said Ellie turning to look at them briefly. She went back to looking at the TV but quickly did a double take. "Daddy are you okay?" asked Ellie getting up from the floor seeing Opie's face. She went over to him worried about him.

Kenny glanced over at Opie but wasn't at all that concerned with the bruises on his father's face. "Doesn't look so bad." said Kenny. He went back to watching cartoons.

Opie hugged Ellie and said "I am fine Ellie don't worry. Daddy just had a boxing match last night. You know like the boxers on TV…."

"Did you win?" asked Kenny glancing over at Opie.

Opie chuckled and said "Yes, I won."

Ellie said "Does it hurt a lot?" She peered upward like she was trying to get a closer look at his face. But Opie was so much taller than her that it was difficult. She climbed onto the couch and stood on it so she could look at his face. "It looks like it hurts a lot daddy." said Ellie with wide eyes.

Opie said "It doesn't hurt much at all baby girl. I am fine." He smiled and tickled her. "Go back to watching cartoons okay? Did gramps make you two breakfast?"

"Kenny made breakfast we had oatmeal for breakfast. It was really good. It had ummm milk and brown sugar in it. And Kenny cut a banana up in my oatmeal for me." said Ellie with a grin.

Opie said "I didn't know we had oatmeal packets. Thanks for making breakfast for yourself and your sister Kenny."

"We don't. I made it from the tube with the pirate on it." said Kenny shrugging. "Grampa can't cook. His oatmeal is never done all the way." complained Kenny.

Opie was a little surprised that Kenny could cook oatmeal. It was moments like these that made him realize even more what he had missed out on. "Well, thank you for cooking buddy. And that isn't a pirate on the tube…"

"No big deal." shrugged Kenny.

Opie shook his head a little and headed to his bedroom hoping that Tara would follow him.

Tara followed Opie back to his bedroom closing the door behind them. "Are you okay Ope?" asked Tara looking at him as he had a seat on his bed.

"Yeah…I mean…he is growing up…and taking care of his little sister…that is good…" said Opie.

Tara sat next to him on the bed. "But…."

"I missed out on the growing up part." said Opie.

"You missed out on some of it baby…but Kenny is only 11 years old…well 12 in about a week. You have so much time for you to watch him grow up. You can help shape him to be the man you want him to be." said Tara.

"He is so much like me…it is scary…nothing seems to faze him…even when Donna died…he just…Ellie cried for days on end…and I didn't know how to comfort her. But Kenny…he cried once…maybe twice…and never cried after that…he just…I thought he didn't get what I was saying…but he got it…he just…wouldn't cry…he kept it all inside like I used to…and I see him growing up so fast that I don't know what to do. He's 12 years old. I just don't want to be like Pop. I mean he loves the hell out of me. He'd give his life for me in a minute. But we never had a real…connection beyond that." said Opie.

"He just wants to be strong like you Opie…but if you are worried about him then talk to him. You complained that Piney never took the time to talk to you about stuff like this…then talk to your son…it's a nice day today… why don't you take Kenny to do something fun. I can look after Ellie this afternoon. I wanted to do some shopping today anyway. I can take Ellie with me. We can even pick up her gift for Kenny's birthday. I bet Kenny would love it." said Tara.

"I guess I could take him to the batting cages…get some practice in with him. He seems really into baseball. I used to be good at it." said Opie. Opie opened his wallet and handed Tara some money. "Here this should be enough spending money for Ellie." said Opie.

She smiled and said "That is a great idea baby." She kissed him and said "You are a good father Opie…never doubt that. Your kids love you so much. And I know how much you love them too…you just need to show them. Why don't you go get a shower and then take Kenny out for awhile. Ope you didn't have to worry about spending money. I would have covered it."

Opie kissed her softly and then looked into her eyes. "What the hell would I do without you Tara…if it wasn't for you being here for me through all of this. I don't know how I would have survived losing Donna. Thank you."

"I love you Opie. I will always be here for you no matter what. That is something you never have to worry about." said Tara. She kissed him again. "Now go…get a shower…you smell." said Tara jokingly. "I'll go tell Kenny to get ready."

Opie chuckled softly and said "Alright." He got up and headed for the bathroom to get a shower.

Tara walked into the living room and said "Hey Kenny. Your dad said to get ready. He is going to take you to the batting cages."

"Really?" asked Kenny perking up.

"Yes, really. You better hurry up. He is in the shower right now." said Tara chuckling.

Kenny grinned and hopped off of the couch and ran back to his room to get ready.

"What about me?" asked Ellie.

"Well, why don't we go do some shopping?" asked Tara with a smile.

Ellie smiled brightly. "Okay!"

Tara chuckled and said "Go get ready Ellie."

Ellie ran off to her room to get ready as well.

Tara looked down at her own clothes and realized she needed to get home and get a shower and a change of clothes. She would just take Ellie with her.

After awhile Opie walked out of the back dressed and ready to go with a bandana tied over his wet hair. "Kenny ready to go yet?" asked Opie.

Tara shook her head and said "He is still getting ready. I told Ellie about the shopping trip and she is definitely excited to go. I am going to swing by my house first and then she and I will go shopping."

Opie smiled and said "Thank you for doing this for me."

Kenny ran from the back of the house with his baseball gear. "I am ready to go." said Kenny excitedly.

Opie chuckled and said "Alright let's go then." Opie kissed Tara. "Bye baby."

Tara smiled and said "Bye Opie. Bye Kenny."

Kenny waved to Tara and left out with Opie.

Tara waited for Ellie to finish dressing and then the two of them left going to Tara's house first so that Tara could shower and change. She packed a bag to take to Opie's house so that she would have a change of clothes and toiletries over there if she stayed overnight. Then Tara and Ellie headed to the mall in Stockton.

The girls shopped for several hours before heading back to Opie's house. It was around 4:00 when they made it back. As Tara pulled into the driveway Opie opened the front door. He smiled seeing Tara and Ellie getting out of the car. "I was wondering when the two of you would be back."

Tara laughed and said "We had a lot of shopping to do and window shopping to do. I stopped off at the grocery store and bought some stuff for dinner too. I'm going to make lasagna for dinner."

"I'm going to help." said Ellie excitedly. She ran over to Opie hugging him.

Tara chuckled and said "I need your help carrying in all of this stuff Opie."

Opie chuckled and walked out to the car. He opened the trunk looking at all of the bags. "What the hell did you two buy? Or rather…what didn't you buy?" asked Opie laughing. "Kenny!" called Opie.

Kenny came out of the house helping Opie carry in all of the bags.

Tara made sure she kept track of the gifts that she and Ellie had bought for Kenny. She pulled Opie into the bedroom once all of the bags were in the house. "Okay…the gifts Ellie and I bought for Kenny where can I hide them so that he doesn't find them?"

Opie said "Give them to me. I will put them on the top shelf of the closet behind some shit. He won't look back there."

Tara handed him two big bags. "Okay good."

"What the hell did you get him?" asked Opie laughing at the bags.

"I hope this was out of boundaries…but I bought him a guitar…an acoustic one. He saw one at my house one of the times I watched them over there…and he seemed really jazzed to play with it." said Tara.

"I think that is great babe. Kenny will probably love it. Even if it is to just make noise and piss off Pops." said Opie laughing.

"I thought it would be cool for him to learn how to play a real guitar if he is interested instead of that video game bullshit. Ellie bought him a telescope. She said he really likes the stars." said Tara.

Opie chuckled and said "How much did that cost? Don't tell me. Just take whatever I owe you out of my wallet." He tossed his wallet to her and put away Kenny's gifts. "I guess I should get off of my ass and go get his dirt bike soon."

Tara said 'Don't worry about paying me back Opie. I just had fun shopping with Ellie. You've got a little fashionista on your hands. Ellie is excited to do this lasagna so I am going to go get started with that." Tara left out of the bedroom and headed for the kitchen. "Ellie!" called Tara. She started washing her hands and sorting through the ingredients that she had bought for the lasagna.

Ellie bounced into the kitchen and over to the sink to wash her hands too.

Tara and Ellie worked together putting the lasagna together and put it in the oven. Tara spotted pills on the window sill of the kitchen and picked up the bottle. She read it and yelled. "Opie!"

Opie walked into the kitchen. "What's up baby?"

"What is the number to the cabin? Piney left his heart medication here…he should really have this with him. Maybe he just took some out of the bottle." said Tara.

Opie said "Shit…crazy old man….I'll call him." Opie walked over to the phone and called the cabin but no one answered. Opie called back a few times and still didn't get an answer. He shot a look at Tara. Opie looked at Ellie. "Baby girl go watch TV with Kenny okay?"

Ellie said "Okay daddy." She left the kitchen and went to the living room.

Opie took the bottle from Tara and looked at it. "I filled this for him last week this is too full for him to have taken any out. I am going to just take this up there to him. I am sure he is fine." But Opie had a worried look on his face that spoke volumes.

Tara said "Why don't we call Gemma? I can see if she will come over and watch Kenny and Ellie and I will ride up to the cabin with you."

"You don't have to do that Tara." said Opie.

"It is not a problem. I want to make sure Piney is okay too. I am going to call Gemma now." said Tara. She left the kitchen to grab her cell phone to make phone call so that Opie could continue trying Piney on the house phone. Tara called Gemma and waited for her to answer.

"Hello?" asked Gemma when she answered.

"Hi Gemma…I need a huge favor…Piney went up to the cabin but left behind his heart medication. He isn't answering his phone. Opie and I are going to ride up to the cabin to check on him. Could you come over and watch Kenny and Ellie?" asked Tara.

"Shit…sure darlin' I'll be there in about 10 minutes." said Gemma hanging up.

Tara hung up and walked into the kitchen. "Any luck?" asked Tara.

Opie shook his head and said "He still isn't answering the damn phone. If he is okay when we get up there I am going to kill him." Opie was trying to make a joke but he was really worried about his father. His health wasn't the best. "Did Gemma agree?"

"Yeah she is on her way over now. She said give her ten minutes…." said Tara.

Those ten minutes seemed to take forever as Opie continued to ring the phone.

Tara let Gemma in when she arrived.

"Has Piney answered the phone?" asked Gemma concerned. She was carrying Abel.

"No, he still hasn't answered yet." said Tara. "Ope! Let's go." yelled Tara. "There is lasagna in the oven for dinner. It should be ready soon…"

"Don't worry I will take care of everything here. Jax was with me when I got your call. He is going to follow the two of you up there." said Gemma.

Opie walked into the room. He hugged Gemma. "Thank you for watching the kids. You guys be good for Gemma. I will be back later." Opie walked out the door. He saw Jax and said "What are you doing here?"

"I am going to go with you two to make sure the old man is okay." said Jax showing his concern for Piney.

Tara said "We'll be back as soon as we can and I will call you with any updates." "Bye kids." said Tara. She rushed out the door and hopped into her cutlass.

Opie was already in the driver's seat and he tore off for the cabin. Jax followed behind him on the bike.

The trip was a silent one and Tara kept trying to get Piney to pick up on the phone.

When they finally arrived at the cabin they saw Piney's car but not Mary's. "Maybe mom didn't show up or something." said Opie.

Jax said "Maybe the old man is just drunk in there." Jax walked with Opie into the cabin with Tara following behind them. She had her medical bag in tow.

"Pops!" yelled Opie as they walked inside.

"Piney!" yelled Jax looking for him.

Tara walked toward the bedrooms and spotted Piney laying in the door way in his boxers. "Piney!" yelled Tara and rushed over to him. She took his vitals and said "His pulse is weak. I need to start CPR." "Opie…call for an ambulance." said Tara. She started working on Piney frantically seeing the old man fading in front of her. "Come on Piney! Don't do this damn it!" yelled Tara not getting a response with the CPR.

Jax said "I am going to call the ambulance and wait outside for them." Jax walked outside calling for an ambulance.


	18. Chapter 18

Tara continued trying to administer CPR. The longer she worked the more her arms grew tired. She didn't know how much longer she would be able to keep this up. She didn't know how long Piney had been unconscious. "Come on Piney! Don't do this to me. Come on!" yelled Tara.

Opie stood there behind her not knowing what to do. He couldn't believe that his father was dying right before his eyes. Piney was a mean old bastard but Opie always knew that Piney was there for him if he needed anything. And now he stood there helpless to do anything to help his father.

Tara continued doing chest compressions until Piney started breathing. "Opie! He is breathing normally! Get his oxygen and bring it over here." Tara got Piney's nitroglycerin and gave it to him. "You can't get up right now Piney…please stay still." said Tara trying to stop Piney from sitting up.

Piney was still dazed at the moment but took his medication. He continued trying to sit up. "I am fine." muttered Piney as he was sitting up.

Opie stooped down and helped Tara get Piney's oxygen on him. "Is he okay?" asked Opie. "Come on Pop…Tara said you need to lay back then please lay back." Opie got a pillow off of the bed and put it under Piney's head.

"I won't know until we get him to the hospital. I don't know how long he was down. It looks like maybe a few minutes but that doesn't explain why he hadn't answered the phone before now." said Tara. She worriedly kept a check on Piney's vitals taking his pulse.

Jax waited outside for the ambulance to arrive. He paced smoking a cigarette nervously. Ope had suffered so much losing Donna, Jax didn't know if Opie would be able to make it through losing his Pops. Jax was about to call 911 again when he heard the tell-tale sounds of the ambulance roaring up the road toward the cabin. Jax walked out into the yard to make sure that they could see him. Jax flagged them down and then ambulance pulled up to the house..

The paramedics hopped out of the ambulance.

"He's inside. We think he had a heart attack. There is a doctor in there with him right now." said Jax leading the way into the house.

Tara was putting Piney's oxygen mask on him and had him sitting upright. She spotted the paramedics. "He fell and hit his head and loss consciousness. I did chest compressions for awhile before his breathing went back to a normal rhythm."

"We'll take it from here." said the lead paramedic. They started working on Piney and got him onto the stretcher and took him out to the ambulance. "Is anyone riding with us?" asked the paramedic. "We'll be taking him to Phillips-Ross Hospital."

Opie looked at Tara and said "You go baby I will meet you there." Opie trusted her to look after Piney. He wouldn't really understand what was going on anyway.

"I don't want to go to any damn hospital! I am fine. Look I am breathing. This is my birthday weekend damn it!" railed Piney pissed off.

Tara nodded and said "Alright." Tara followed the paramedics out and climbed into the back of the ambulance once Piney was inside. "Piney settle down please…" pleaded Tara.

The ambulance took off toward the hospital with the sirens blaring. They were in a slightly rural area so it wasn't a short trip to the nearest hospital.

As the ambulance was pulling away Mary was pulling up. She got out of the car. "What the hell is going on?" asked Mary worriedly. She was in a near panic.

Opie said "Where were you when Pops was having a heart attack?" Opie was beyond pissed that Piney had been there alone for God knows how long. He stared at his mother intently. He and Mary barely had a relationship and it had only gotten worse when she had taken off when he needed her the most after Donna died.

"Piney had a heart attack?" asked Mary shaking her head. "He was fine 30 minutes ago when I left. We needed groceries because Piney wanted to stay up here for the whole week. I don't have anything to do back home so I told him I'd stay. I left and went to the store…he was fine when I left him. We've been up here together all day." said Mary feeling tears well up in her eyes. She had never been so worried about Piney in her life. "I've got to get to the hospital." said Mary her hands literally shaking so much that she dropped her keys.

Jax walked over and said "Mary he's going to be okay…he was complaining as they were wheeling him out of the house…" Jax picked up the keys that Mary dropped.

Opie saw the panic and fear in his mother's eyes and softened. He hugged her and said "He is going to be fine…Tara got him breathing again and he is on his way to the hospital….come on I will drive you over there. You are in no condition to drive right now. I don't know what happened then…if he was fine before now…why didn't you two answer the phone? I called…so many times to tell Pops that he had left his heart medication at home."

Mary looked at Opie with tears in her eyes. She was more than embarrassed. "We started Piney's birthday celebration early...he turned off the ringer so that we wouldn't be disturbed…he was taking a nap when I left." said Mary. She didn't know how else to put it.

"What are you talking about…." Opie trailed off when it dawned on him what she meant. Opie said "Oh….okay…come on they are taking him to Phillips-Ross. We need to get over there and see what is going on."

Mary said "I've got all of these groceries in my car…" Mary was mostly scared to see Piney ill. It made her realize just how little time the two of them had to share with one another. She hated so many things about him but she loved just as many.

Jax said "Mary I'll take care of the groceries. You go with Ope."

Mary knew she didn't have any other excuses so she nodded and climbed into Tara's car.

Opie walked over to Jax. "Thank you brother. Call your mom and tell her what is going on…" Opie was glad that even though things were strange between them that he could still count on his brother.

Jax hugged Opie. "I'll be there soon as I get the groceries in the house." Jax walked around to the back of Mary's car and started collecting the groceries from the car.

Opie nodded and climbed into Tara's car and drove off toward the hospital with Mary. They arrived and Opie headed inside with Mary. He spotted Tara in the waiting room and went over to her. "How is he doing?"

"I don't know yet babe…the doctor is in with him now. He will come out to talk to us after he knows more. Piney was talking all the way here so that is a good sign…and when I say talking…I mean complaining about us busting up his weekend." said Tara her arms crossed across her chest.

They waited around for what seemed like forever but was really just two hours. The doctor walked over to them after a nurse pointed them out.

Mary and Tara stood up as the doctor walked over to them.

Opie and Jax were standing up talking to one another but stopped seeing the doctor. "I'm his son…how is he?" asked Opie.

"I'm Dr. Peter Henderson. Your father is doing well. He is stable and his vitals are good. Your father suffered a mild heart attack. He was trying to go for help when he lost consciousness and hit his head on the floor. I've already told him this but I will tell you as well. He needs to change his way of life. The drinking, smoking, fatty foods, and inactivity are a death sentence. This heart problem along with his emphysema could kill him. He seemed to brush off my talk I am sure that he has heard it before. But with the way he is going I would give him a year…maybe two. With a proper diet and the right changes he has the opportunity to have a long life. We'd like to keep him overnight for observation." said Dr. Henderson.

"I've been trying to get him to change his ways for 30 years. I don't see it happening now just because he had a heart attack." said Mary bitterly but with tears in her eyes. She turned and walked out of the hospital.

Opie looked at Tara.

"I'll go after her." said Tara. Tara left the waiting room following Mary outside.

"Your father is asking to speak with you. He is conscious…nurse Barrett can show you to his room." said Dr. Henderson. Dr. Henderson motioned for the nurse.

Opie nodded and said "Thank you doctor." Opie followed the nurse to Piney's room. He walked into the room and shook his head. "You scared the hell out of me old man. What the hell happened today? Why did you leave your medicine?"

"I was in a damn rush. I didn't want to be late." muttered Piney laughing. "This is the only time of year that I can convince your mother to spend time with me and I didn't want to waste any time at all. I thought I grabbed everything but I was running late as it was. And I was fine this morning and the afternoon. I had a good day. I had sex with your mother twice today. Once this morning and then once in the afternoon and then took a nap when she left out for groceries. I thought I was on cloud nine." said Piney.

Opie winced and said "I could do without the details Pops…Mary already tried to delicately explain why you didn't answer the damn phone today. Aren't you too old for this shit?"

"You are never too old to make love to the woman you love. Where is your mother? Does she know I am here?" asked Piney.

"Oh yeah…she knows and she is pissed off at you. Mostly I think she is scared. She's been crying in the waiting room. She's worried about losing you Pops…we all are. You've got to start taking better care of yourself." said Opie.

"I take care of myself just fine. I've been living this life for 50 plus years. I am not about to spend the last two or three years of my life eating rice cakes and soy beans. I can't wait to get out of here. I want a beer, a shot of whiskey, and a thick steak. And if I can make it up with your mother….I'd like to go for three in a day." said Piney.

Opie shook his head and said "Do you not understand what happened to you today? You had a heart attack old man. If we hadn't gotten there when we did you might have checked out to the big MC in the sky. Is that really what you want? You are old but not old enough that you should be ready to die."

"It isn't about how long I live boy…it is about the quality of the life I have. I want to do the things that make me happy while I still have the chance to." said Piney.

"And what about the rest of us? What about me, Kenny, Ellie, hell…Mary…? What about what we want. We'd like for you to live more than two years. The doctor said that you still have the opportunity to turn things around. But if you keep going the way you are going you are going to be a ghost in a few years. Are you that selfish…?" asked Opie staring at his father.

"Oh hell don't go getting all mushy on me boy…" said Piney in a dismissive tone.

"Don't do that…we never talk about stuff like this. Damn it I love you old man. And I don't want you dying before your time. I know you like the booze and the cigarettes and the fatty food. I get that. But what about spending time with me and your grandchildren? Giving things with Ma another chance?"asked Opie looking at him.

"Your mother isn't going to want to give me another try. That ship has sailed." said Piney. He said "But…I would like to see my grandchildren grow up…or at least get older. I ain't gonna live forever boy…you need to wrap your mind around that."

"I know you won't…wouldn't want your grouchy ass living on forever…but I don't want you checking out before you have to. And Ma was really shaken up…maybe I can talk to her and get her to come to Charming for awhile." said Opie.

"I haven't been able to convince Mary in all this time to come back. I don't think I will be able to convince her now." said Piney.

"Well, you almost died…and I am her son maybe she will go for it. At least until you are feeling better." said Opie.

"I want you to bust me out of here. I hate hospitals. I'd rather be out of here… I can lay in a bed anywhere." said Piney.

"Pops…they want to keep you over night…and there is no way in hell you can finish your birthday weekend." said Opie.

"I just want to go back to Charming and be in my own damn bed. That is what I want and you can either help me make that happen or I will do it on my own." said Piney with determination.

Opie shook his head. "I'll see what I can do about getting you out of here Pops…" Opie walked out of the room.

Jax stood up seeing Opie. "How is the old man doing?"

"As stubborn as he always was. If I am that stubborn at his age just shoot me. He wants me to get him out of here and take him home." said Opie.

Jax said "He just had a heart attack!"

"I know…but he said either I help him out of here or he leaves on his own. And you know his crazy old ass would do it…" said Opie.

Mary walked into the waiting room with Tara beside her. "How is he?" asked Mary.

"He's doing good Mary. He's awake and talking. He wants to go home tonight though…and he doesn't want to change anything about his lifestyle…" said Opie.

"He wants to go home?" asked Mary shaking her head. "The stupid bastard!" huffed Mary. "He won't be happy until he is 6 feet under…and I am not going to sit around and watch him kill himself."

"I think if…you were to come back to Charming with us for awhile…it'd be good for him. I think it would keep him focused. He loves you a lot…he might be willing to change some of his bad habits if he had you in his life full time. He needs you a lot more than he would ever let on." said Opie.

"I've been waiting years for that man to change and he never has and I am not going to wait for that anymore. I can't…" said Mary as her eyes got misty again. Her eyes welled up and she started crying all over again choking back the tears as best as she could.

Tara put a comforting arm around Mary but didn't say anything.

"Please…mom just give it a try okay? For me?" asked Opie. Opie rarely called Mary mom. There was a distance between the two of them that they were never really able to repair.

Mary's eyes widened as she looked at her son. She nearly passed out hearing him call her mom. She nodded a little and said"Okay Ope…I'll come back to Charming…for awhile at least. I am going to go talk to Piney for awhile." Mary walked away but glanced back at Opie.

"He's in room 311." called Opie after her.

Opie turned to Tara. "Pops wants to check out of here and go home…do you think we can make that happen?"

"Well, sure…I mean he can leave AMA but I wouldn't recommend it. I'd be scared to drive him back to Charming." said Tara.

"Well, you will be there with us…you can help make sure that he is okay…he wants to go home…leaving him here will just make him figure a way out on his own." said Opie.

"Fine…I'll go talk to the doctor and get the paperwork prepared." said Tara.

Opie said "I am going to go to the cabin and get pops clothes.…" Opie walked out of the hospital. He came back 30 minutes later. He spotted Tara and said "Everything set?"

Tara nodded and said "As soon as we get Piney dressed we can take him back to Charming."

Opie said "Alright I will go and help the old man get dressed." Opie looked at Tara. "I love you baby…"

Tara was a little taken aback but she smiled. "I love you too…"


	19. Chapter 19

Tara stayed with Opie for nearly two months. The first couple of weeks Tara had stayed there to keep an eye on Piney as he recovered from his heart attack. She was also keeping an eye on Piney and Mary so they didn't argue too much in front of the kids. Every time she would get ready to start staying at her own place again Opie would come up with an excuse for her to stay there with him. They were on week seven now and Tara thought that it was time to sit down with Opie and talk to him seriously about what they were doing. But she was nervous about rushing him into anything. So she decided to just ask him about if he wanted her to move in.

Tara looked at Mary and asked "Are you sure that you and Piney are okay with taking the kids out for the night? I mean if not I am sure that I could just ask Neeta if she could watch them." Tara looked around the house and saw how much cleaning she would have to do before she could even get started getting ready for her date with Opie.

"No, you Ope need time together…alone. Piney and I can handle the kids for the night. We are going to take them to the cottage…Piney wants to teach Kenny how to fish. And Ellie has been after me to teach her how to sew…Kenny wants to learn too. Says he needs to know how to sew the patches on his cut when he gets older. Breaks my heart…" said Mary shaking her head. "Watching Kenny go down the same road that Opie did."

"That is great Mary. Everything has been so fast paced lately that Opie and I really haven't had any time to ourselves. My schedule at the hospital isn't helping much either. Opie turned out pretty damn good Mary…so don't go there." said Tara was cordially as she could manage.

"I am not saying that Opie didn't turn out to be a good man. I am saying he has suffered a lot because of the club. More than any mother ever wants to see her son suffer. And now I am going to have to watch my grandson go through the same damn things." said Mary.

Tara couldn't argue with her there. She couldn't imagine watching Opie go off to jail and leaving her behind. It was a scary prospect. She just smiled at Mary. "Kenny is a good boy and he wants to be like his dad…nothing is going to stop him. Nothing stopped Opie from becoming like Piney."

"Opie is a far better man than Piney ever was…or still is." said Mary shaking her head. "I didn't have much to do with it…but he's a good man…a good husband. He'll take care of you. He'll be a good husband for you. So can I expect more grandbabies? I might not have been a good mother but I do fairly well as a grandmother. They like me." said Mary.

"We're not getting married Mary…"said Tara laughing. The fact was that she didn't know where this was going or if it was going anywhere at all. She didn't want to ask Opie to define their relationship. He had been through so much losing Donna that she didn't want to rush him. So she was playing by his rules and waiting to see what came of everything. For now she just wanted to know if he wanted her to move in.

Mary laughed softly. 'I might not know a lot about my son…but I know one thing. He is all about setting down roots. He loves you…you mark my words sometime in the future…you'll be the next Mrs. Harry Winston. Opie doesn't do anything slow…sometimes that is a good thing and sometimes it is a bad thing. Either way I think you are good for him. You make him happy and you treat my grandchildren well. I have no complaints."

Piney walked out of his bedroom and with his bag. "I am ready to go woman." said Piney walking to the front door. "I want to get out of here before the traffic picks up. Besides we've got to stop at the grocery store to get some food for the cabin. What are you cooking for dinner?"

Mary shook her head. "Always the charmer that one. We are going to get chicken nuggets and French fries from the store. I am not cooking a big meal that nobody is going to eat other than you. You can have some baked chicken and some steamed vegetables for dinner. Kenny! Ellie it is time to go." Mary got up from the couch and stood by the door waiting for them.

"I'll just have chicken nuggets and fries." said Piney. "Have a good night darlin." said Piney to Tara. He kissed her cheek and then walked out of the house and went to his car. He opened the back door so that the kids could just hop into the car when they came out.

Kenny and Ellie came into the living room carrying their overnight bags.

"How come you aren't coming with us? It will be a lot of fun." said Ellie talking to Tara. She hugged Tara around the waist.

"Because she wants to be alone with dad…" said Kenny shaking his head at Ellie.

Tara smiled and said "Okay guys you two have fun with your grandma and grandpa." Tara hugged both of them. "Be good okay?" asked Tara. "I love you guys." said Tara with a smile.  
She walked them to the door and waved to them.

Ellie stopped on her way to the car. "We love you too." said Ellie before climbing into Piney's car.

"Yeah." said Kenny with a nod at Tara.

Tara stood there in shock. Ellie had said that she loved her. And she had gotten a nod from Kenny. Which was about as much emotion as Kenny showed unless it involved video games, food, sports, or money. Tara watched from the door as the old car pulled off and headed down the street.

She closed the door behind her and frowned. The house was in disarray. She had been working long shifts at the hospital which meant Mary had been the only one home to clean and Mary being at home alone with Piney meant that not a lot of cleaning got done. Piney was always complaining and needing something. Tara glanced at the time and realized that it was only 2:00 in the afternoon. She had enough time to do everything. Tara started cleaning up the house so that she could have a quiet dinner alone with Opie. She had planned their night completely. She only hoped that it went to plan.

After a couple of hours of cleaning Tara started working on dinner for the night.

Opie made it home around 7:30 that night. He was worn out from work and was glad that the kids were gone for the night. He walked into the house seeing that it was dark. "Babe?" asked Opie walking through the living room into the dining room seeing the lights in the room dimmed and candles set up on the table and flickering. There were two places set at the table.

Tara walked into the dining room wearing a blue spaghetti strap dress with lace trim. She smiled at Opie and walked over to him. "Welcome home." said Tara leaning up to kiss him.

Opie's eyes stared at her legs and moved upward. He returned her kiss and wrapped his arms around. "What is this…?" asked Opie chuckling a little. He kissed her softly. "You look beautiful, Tara."

"Well, we've both been incredibly busy lately. I thought since Piney and Mary were taking the kids to the cottage for the night…the two of us could spend a quiet night at home together. I made dinner and everything." said Tara with a smile.

Opie kissed her and said "You are amazing baby. I am filthy though…let me go wash up…how soon will dinner be ready?" Opie looked at his grime covered hands.

"The roast will be ready to slice in about 15 minutes. But take your time. Everything can be heated up." said Tara with a smile.

"No, I will be ready by then." said Opie. He playfully slapped her butt and walked into his bedroom to get cleaned up.

Tara carried everything to the table for dinner and had a seat drinking a beer and waiting on Opie to come to the table. Tara turned on the music and just relaxed. She was actually pretty tired after all of the work she had done in the house that day. But tired was her new normal. She was exhausted every day she came home from work. And between being on her feet for hours at a time and coming home to more work her back and feet were killing her on e regular basis.

Opie walked into the dining room and smiled seeing he spread on the table. He let out a whistle. "Wow…you went all out for this. And you made all of my favorite dishes…how did you know what my favorites were?" asked Opie chuckling. He had a seat next to Tara kissing her cheek.

"Believe it or not Piney told me what foods were your favorites. And it worked out great because I have been craving macaroni and cheese but I've been too busy to make it from scratch but I did tonight." said Tara with a smile.

Opie served himself dinner and started eating. "You are sneaky. I thought the two of us were just going to eat take out and watch movies. Instead I come home to this. I am not disappointed." He kissed her cheek. "How was your day?"

"It was good. I did a couple of hours at the hospital and was able to come back home. I spent some time with Ellie before she left with Mary and Piney this afternoon. They were both pretty excited to leave with Piney and Mary. Mary is going to teach Ellie how to saw…Kenny too. Kenny told her that he needed to learn how to sew to people to sew his patches on his cut when he gets older." said Tara.

Opie chuckled and said "Ellie wants to learn to sew? Should I be on the lookout for poorly sewn gifts from her? She has a heart of gold. When she was really little…before I went to jail she used to find sparkly rocks and bring them to me as gifts. She thought they were so special because they sparkled…I still have a lot of them. I never had the heart to get rid of them."

Tara smiled and said "You can bet on it. She was already talking about sewing a pillow for you. Ellie is a sweet little girl…sensitive too."

"She's nothing like me." said Opie laughing.

"I think she is more like you than you give yourself credit for. You are one of the most sensitive men that I know. She told me she loved me today…I wasn't expecting that at all but it made me feel good. Kenny said yeah in agreement with her…I was really shocked." said Tara with a smile. Tara looked at Opie working up the courage to ask what she needed to ask him. But at the moment her stomach was doing flip flops.

Opie laughed and said "Keep that to yourself." Opie went back to eating. "Ellie said that she loves you? Wow…well you've been great with them…" He didn't know how he felt about it. He looked over at Tara and saw that she looked out of sorts somehow. "Is everything okay? Did something happen today while I was at work?" asked Opie.

"Oh sure…everything is fine Opie. I just…I've been staying here every night for almost two months…I haven't spent a night at home in a very long time…" said Tara not sure how to broach this subject.

Opie stopped eating and sat back in his chair. "I know I've asked you to stay over a lot…I didn't realize that it was a problem. I thought you liked staying here with me and the kids." He drank some his beer as he ate dinner but he kept an eye on Tara.

"No…it isn't a problem at all Opie." said Tara laughing softly. She shook her head. "Baby…I am just wondering if…I mean I am essentially living here…I was wondering if you could make more space for me in the bedroom…" said Tara. She didn't have the nerve to ask him if he wanted her to move in just yet.

Opie lightened up and smiled. "Sure I can make more room for you in the bedroom. Is that all? I thought you wanted to talk about something serious like what is our future or something." He laughed at the idea.

Tara shook her head and said "No, that isn't it Opie…I want to know if you want me to move in…or are we just testing this out…I mean I am not trying to rush you…I just kind want to know where is this headed…if it is headed anywhere."

Opie sighed a little and sat back in his chair dropping his fork onto his plate. It landed louder than he had expected. The room was silent as the two of them stared at one another in the candle lit room. He saw the fear in her eyes. But he was scared too. "Tara…I don't know if I am ready for you to move in here with me. I love having you here and I love you being here every night it has been great. But…I don't know. I don't want you to give up your place or something. Nothing is guaranteed and this is all still so new."

"I wouldn't have to…I was just thinking I could move more of my stuff in here. I am not trying to push you or anything." She shook her head seeing the look on his face. "Forget I even brought it up okay. It was really stupid of me. Let's just finish dinner okay? How was work? You looked pretty dirty when you came in I am assuming you were working in the garage instead of repossessing cars." said Tara.

"We can't just pretend like you didn't bring this up Tara. We've only been seeing each other for a couple of months. I am not ready to move that quickly…I mean Donna hasn't been dead a year yet. I just don't think I am ready to move some other woman into her house…it just doesn't feel right to me. I mean you staying over is different…but actually moving in…I just can't do that and I can't believe that you would even ask me that." said Opie shaking his head. Opie sat there and shook his head. He slammed his hand on the table. "You know how much I struggle with losing Donna…"

Tara jumped when he slammed his hand on the table. "I understand Opie. I shouldn't have brought it up. I wasn't trying to cause you any pain I was just wondering because I had been here every night for the last two months…I thought…it doesn't matter what I thought…I was wrong. So let's just drop it please. I went through a lot of trouble to pull this night together for us…I don't want to ruin it." said Tara. She felt heartbroken at the moment but she blamed herself for it.

Opie just sat there in silence and went back to eating his dinner. He would look over at her occasionally but mostly he kept his eyes on his food or straight ahead.

Tara lost her appetite and started pushing her food around her plate. She felt sick to her stomach and got up from the table. She ran to the bathroom closing the door behind her getting sick.

Opie sat there for awhile before getting up and walking to the bathroom door. He knocked. "Tara? Are you okay in there?" asked Opie.

Tara opened the door after she rinsed her mouth. "I don't feel good. I think I am coming down with a stomach virus."

Opie put his hand to her forehead. "You feel warm, you probably have a fever. You should go and lay down. I'll clean up from dinner."

Tara nodded and said "Okay. If you want dessert there is cake in the refrigerator…strawberry shortcake…store bought of course." Tara walked away and went into the bedroom changing into pajama pants and a tank top. She stuffed the lingerie she had bought for the night back into the bag and kicked it under the bed. She climbed into bed and laid down trying to resist the waves of nausea rolling through her body.

Opie put away the food and then cleaned up the kitchen. He had a seat in the living room and ate cake and watched TV until the middle of the night. After awhile he turned off the TV and spent time looking at pictures of Donna. He sighed thinking about the woman he had loved so much. He felt like he was betraying her. He got up and went into the bedroom and went over to the bed. "Tara…are you awake?" asked Opie,

Tara was awake but she wasn't about to say anything to him. She was hurt and she was angry. And she was worried. She laid there curled in a ball not willing to say anything.

Opie kicked off his shoes and climbed into the bed with her. He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes tiredly.

Her body tensed a little when Opie wrapped his arms around her but she finally started to calm down and relaxed in his embrace.

"I'm sorry." whispered Opie realizing that she was indeed awake.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I misread your signals Opie…and I am sorry that I made you upset. I know how much you love Donna…I don't know what I was thinking. But I am sorry." said Tara quietly. She felt tears slipping down her cheeks. "Goodnight…" said Tara.

"I do love you…" said Opie.

"I love you too…" said Tara. She closed her eyes and prayed for sleep. She didn't want to talk anymore. Tara ended up falling asleep after awhile. She slept until 7:00 in the morning. She quietly slipped out of the bed and got dressed quietly. She left the house without waking up Opie. She went home and showered and got dressed in jeans and a blue tank top. She drove over to Gemma's house and knocked on the door.

Clay answered the door. "Good Morning Doc? Everything okay?"

Tara nodded. She thought that Clay would have been gone already. "Is Gemma still home?" asked Tara.

"Yeah come on in…" said Clay. "Gemma! Doc's here..." said Clay walking back into kitchen.

Tara walked into the house closing the door behind her. She wrung her hands slightly waiting for Gemma to walk into the room. She needed someone to talk to and now.

Gemma walked into the living room. As soon as she saw Tara's face she asked. "What's wrong?"

Tara shook her head and started crying before she could get anything out. It was like she couldn't even get the words out.

"Oh baby…" said Gemma hugging the crying young woman.

Clay walked out of the kitchen looking at the two of them. He quirked an eyebrow.

Gemma waved her hand at him telling him to get lost. Gemma said "Why don't you go have a seat in the kitchen. Have some coffee sweetheart."

Tara sniffled and nodded. "Okay." She walked into the kitchen.

"What was that about?" asked Clay looking at Gemma.

"Young love…what are you going to do? You go to work. I will see you later. I love you." said Gemma.

He chuckled and said "Kids…" "I love you too." said Clay with a smile. He left out heading to work.

Gemma let Neeta in for the day and then walked into the kitchen. "Tara let's go into my room for some privacy." They walked into the bedroom and she had a seat on her bed. "So what is going on?"

"I think I'm pregnant….." blurted Tara having a seat on the bed with Gemma

Gemma asked "What?" Gemma closed her bedroom door and had a seat next to Tara. "How pregnant?" asked Gemma.

"I think I am pregnant Gemma. And I don't know what to do…I am…late…like three weeks late…and I don't know what to do." said Tara. "I called my doctor this morning to set up an appointment so that she can run the test…but she can't see me until the middle of next."

"Well, why can't you just get the test done at the hospital? It wouldn't take that long right? Then you would have an answer and you wouldn't be freaking out. But it seems to me this is more than just you being pregnant. Is there something going on with you and Opie? Have you told Opie that you might be pregnant with his baby? It is his baby right?" said Gemma.

"If I let them run my test at the hospital everyone will know about it…including that nosey ass hospital administrator and she hates my guts. I'd rather have it done at the doctor's office so that I can have some privacy. I haven't told Opie...I was going to bring it up last night but we argued and…I left this morning before he woke up. I didn't want to argue and I didn't want the awkwardness. Of course it is his baby…if I am pregnant…which I may not be…maybe I am just really stressed out or something." said Tara putting her head in her hands

"Point taken…you don't need everyone in your business before you've had a chance to tell Opie about this. And you should tell him soon or he is going to be wondering why you didn't tell him to begin with. Men are suspicious creatures it is better not to give them anything to think about." said Gemma.

"How the hell am I supposed to tell him that I might be pregnant when we argued last night about me moving into his house! I mean I felt so stupid for even bringing it up. I don't know what I was thinking. He was so upset with me Gemma…like not just angry but hurt too. I can't tell him that I might be pregnant. That will put pressure on him that he doesn't want or need." She sighed and felt tears welling up in her eyes. It wasn't just stressing him out that she was worried about. "What if he doesn't want a baby? I don't want to have to be a single mother…"

"Okay first of all…you need to take a deep breath and calm down. You are working yourself up into a frenzy when there isn't anything to be upset about as of yet. Secondly, when you do have an answer…you get him alone…maybe take him to your house so that you can have some privacy. And you just tell him the truth. And whatever happens…happens. Opie is a good man…I don't think he'd throw you to the wolves because you are pregnant. But even if he does you will be okay. Besides…you may not even be pregnant. You've been so stressed out lately with work and Piney and Mary working your last nerves…maybe the stress threw your schedule off. Hell how long did it take you to realize that you were late?" asked Gemma.

"I was about 12 days late before I realized that I had missed my period…so maybe you are right I have been really stressed out. My work load at the hospital is crazy and I am just getting used to taking care of a family…maybe I am just stressed out and my body is playing tricks on me." said Tara.

"Exactly, so calm down a little. And I know waiting until next week will be difficult…so why not take some home pregnancy tests? They could help calm you down somewhat." said Gemma.

"I hadn't thought about that…and they do have a margin of error…but at this point knowing something is better than not knowing anything at all. I think I am going to take the tests then…I really don't want to be alone when I take them." said Tara.

Gemma chuckled and said "See this is what happens when you calm down. You are able to think straight. You should go to the store and pick up a couple of different tests from a couple of different brands. You can come back here and take the tests."

Tara took in a deep breath and said "Okay…I am going to go to the store and pick up a couple of tests. It shouldn't take me very long. I hate going to the pharmacy though…he'll call the price out I know it…he always does. I think he does it on purpose." She got up picking up her purse.

"He's done that to me before too…you get used to it. Get out of here…" said Gemma laughing. She watched Tara leave and chuckled to herself. "To be young again…I am glad I am over that shit." She walked into the kitchen and started up another pot of coffee and waited on Tara to return.

Tara made it back about 30 minutes later she knocked on the door and waited for Gemma to answer it.

Gemma walked to the door and opened it. "Come on in…how many tests did you pick up?"

"I grabbed 4 different tests…so that is a good sample…I mean they can't all be wrong right?" asked Tara.

"Calm down... come on you can use the master bathroom." said Gemma leading her to the bedroom. Gemma closed the bedroom door and motioned to the bathroom. "Well, go on in there and do what you need to do. I will be right here." said Gemma lighting a cigarette as she sat on the bed. "So what is going on between the two of you anyway. You seem upset about more than just this…"

Tara headed into the bathroom closing the door and taking the tests. She washed her hands and came back out sitting on the bed with Gemma. She set the alarm on her stop watch. "I asked him about moving in last night and he freaked out…saying Donna hadn't been dead long enough. I wasn't trying to rush him…I had just been spending so much time there…every time I wanted to go home he'd ask me to stay. Now…how am I supposed to tell him this? That I'm pregnant…what if he thinks this is some sort of set up…"

"Why in the world would you try to set him up? I love him like a son but he is hardly a catch. He has two children and two crazy ass parents living with him. He works in a garage and is a part of an outlaw biker club. Any sane woman would be running in the opposite direction. Lucky for him you are too in love to think rationally." said Gemma. "If it will ease your mind I can tell him that you are pregnant. We can turn it into a little game. I can line up all of the boys and say everyone who hasn't knocked someone up in the past month take a step forward…woah there Opie! Not so fast…." said Gemma laughing very amused with herself.

Tara laughed a little and shook her head. "Somehow I could see you doing that…and I could see Opie being furious. But this is serious Gemma. What am I going to do if he doesn't want this baby…if he doesn't want me…"

"Well, he can take it like a man and stand up and be there for you or he can act like a little bitch and abandon you but either way you've got to take care of yourself and this baby and I will be there to help you out." said Gemma.

"Thank you Gemma…" said Tara. She sighed sitting there with Gemma and then her stop watch went off. She glanced toward the bathroom her anxiety level rising yet again. "I can't…I can't look."

Gemma said "Fine…I will go and look for you…" She got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom. She glanced at all four tests and then walked back out of the bathroom.

"I'm pregnant?" asked Tara with wide eyes looking at the expression on Gemma's face when she walked out of the bathroom. Tara felt her stomach twist into knots.

Gemma nodded and said "All four are positive…you need to see your doctor sooner rather than later to confirm…but it would be strange for four tests to be that wrong…"

Tara felt like her heart had stopped. She just sat there on Gemma's bed about to cry. "I don't understand what happened…we are always safe…"

"Well, condom are not 100%...are you sure you two have used a condom every time you've had sex?" asked Gemma.

Tara thought about it and sighed. "There were a couple of times in the beginning when we just didn't...okay more like 5 or 6 times...but after that we've been really good about it…"

"Well, it only takes one time…I know that you are scared but you are strong you will get through this. I will be there." said Gemma.

"I know…thank you so much for doing this for me…I…don't know if I could have gone through this alone." said Tara feeling tears well up in her eyes. She hugged Gemma tightly. She was scared and didn't know what to do.

Gemma laughed and said "There is no need to get so emotional…I just looked at a couple of piss sticks…I didn't give you a kidney."

Tara sighed a little and walked into the bathroom throwing the tests away. She cried quietly in the bathroom before washing her hands and coming back out. "I am going to go home for awhile…I don't feel so good."

"You need to tell Opie…I know that look…you can't keep this to yourself…you've got to tell and soon." said Gemma.

"I can't…he doesn't know what he wants from our relationship. He's still grieving for his wife. I can't do this to him…I can't put him in the position where he has to be the good guy. The best thing I can do for him is just not tell him…" said Tara.

"Are you going to have an abortion?" asked Gemma.

"What? No…I could never do that again…I am just not going to tell him." said Tara.

"You don't think that he will notice that something is amiss when you start to blow up like a balloon? The longer you wait to tell him the worse it will be. Man up and tell him now…" said Gemma.

"How?" asked Tara sighing.

"Go and see him at work and tell him there…he won't act an ass at the garage if that is what you are afraid of…come on I will go with you. I need to head into work anyway." said Gemma.

Tara said "Thank you Gemma…" That was what she wanted she wanted someone there that she could turn to for comfort if Opie was angry with her.

Gemma said "Let's go…" Gemma found her purse and keys and went to see Abel before she left the house.

The two women drove to Teller-Morrow in separate cars and drove onto the lot. Gemma got out of her car and asked "Where is Opie?"

Juice said "he's in the garage…but he is pissed…"

Gemma nodded and walked into the garage. "Everyone out! Except for Opie…Out!'

Clay walked over with a smirk and said "Does that include me too…what is going on?"

She said "I'll tell you in a minute…yes you too. Meet me in my office."

Opie wiped his hands off and asked "What is this about Gemma?"

Gemma walked to the door and waved in Tara.

Tara walked into the garage her arms crossed over her chest.

"You are getting Gemma to intervene?" asked Opie shaking his head. "I was going to talk to you about this later…now you've brought the mother figure into this?" He felt like a child being scolded.

Gemma said "I just cleared the room for you two…I am leaving." Gemma walked out of the room.

Tara stood there awkwardly "We need to talk Opie…"

"I don't want to argue here at work…so let's talk somewhere else…let's go to my house okay?" asked Opie tossing his rag on a car. He walked with her and said "I'll just ride with you." He lightly rubbed her back to let her know he wasn't angry with her.

Tara bit her lip. The whole reason of coming there was to have Gemma's support if he was angry. But she decided to just go with the flow. "Okay…" Tara walked over to her car and climbed in. She put on her seatbelt and waited for Opie to climb in too. Once he was in she drove toward his house.

"I am sorry about last night. I don't know why I got angry with you. You were asking a legitimate question baby. I do want you to move in…I think I knew it all along that is why I kept asking you to stay over…but I guess giving it a name…and making it official just sort of scared me…I love you Tara…and I am sorry for being an ass last night and hurting your feelings…and ruining the night you planned for us….I asked Mary and Pops to keep the kids at the cottage for an extra night…maybe you and I can try again tonight?"

Tara pulled over to the side of the road and started crying. She turned off the car and sat there just sobbing.

"What's wrong? What did I do wrong now?" asked Opie confused.

Tara just continued to cry her eyes out.

"Tara would you talk to me please!" said Opie.

Tara got out of the car feeling like she was suffocating at the moment. She leaned against the trunk of the car catching her breath.

Opie got out of the car and walked over to her. He took her into his arms and just held her. He didn't know what he had done but he felt bad about it. He caressed her back. "I love you so much Tara…I am sorry that I hurt you…I wasn't trying to…I am jerk…an idiot…just talk to me baby please…can you forgive me?"

Tara shook her head.

"You can't forgive me?" asked Opie his heartbreaking a little.

"I'm not mad at you….I'm pregnant." managed Tara between her sobs.

Opie stood there stunned.


	20. Chapter 20

Opie stood there holding Tara in his arms. Those two simple words, I'm Pregnant, had stunned him into silence as they stood along the side of the road and cars whizzed pass them. He didn't know what to say to her but he knew that he needed to say something she was obviously distraught. He lightly caressed her back. "Tara…are you sure?" asked Opie in a tentative voice. He waited for her to respond to him but at the moment all he heard was quiet sobs. His mind raced thinking about the possibility of a baby.

Tara stood there nervously. She felt his entire body tense when she told him that she was pregnant. She moved back and looked into his eyes. "I'm pregnant…I found out today after taking a couple of home pregnancy tests…four of them to be exact…it won't be official until I see my doctor…but I am pretty certain." said Tara. She stood there her hands resting on his chest as she looked up at him. She tried to read his expression she needed to know how he felt. She wanted him to be okay with this but his look said all that she needed to know.

Opie felt his heart beating faster and he dropped his arms to his side letting Tara go. This was a lot for him to take in. He had just come to terms with the idea of Tara moving into the home he had shared with his late wife. Now she was pregnant. All of this was moving too fast for him. He asked "Is this what you were trying to tell me last night…? That you are pregnant?" It all made a little more sense to him now….the reason she had gotten so upset last night. The reason she had been crying when he finally came to bed that night.

"It was part of it…I knew that I was late and I wanted to talk to you about it. I tried making an appointment with my doctor but she can't see me until next week. I was sort of freaked out and I wanted to talk to you about it….I should have brought it up first…but I knew I wanted to ask you about moving in. And I didn't want you to let me move in just because I am pregnant. I want you to love me because you love me…not because you have to…" said Tara quietly.

"I am not ready for this Tara. I am barely getting my life back together…how could you do this…be this reckless…why aren't you on birth control? This could have been avoided…I wasn't even sure that I wanted another child. Two was just fine for me. Are you sure that it is my baby? I mean you were with Jax….I mean have you been with him since the two of you broke up?" asked Opie. "Or is this your way of trying to keep me?" asked Opie in a harsh voice. As soon as that question left his mouth he wished that he could jam it back in. He saw the change in her face. Her expression went from nervous and scared to angry and disappointed.

Tara stared at him for awhile not saying anything to him at all. She felt like her heart was breaking. She wiped away her tears and shook her head. "You know what…don't worry about it…this isn't your problem it is mine…I'll take care of things on my own. You can figure out how to get back to the garage on your own." Tara walked around to the driver's side of the car and opened the door climbing in.

Opie stood there a few moments stunned not sure what she meant by that. Opie walked around to her side of the car. "We are not through talking about this Tara. This is a big deal. Are you getting an abortion?" asked Opie staring at her. He couldn't believe he was in this position. Just when his life was easy he ended up on a downward spiral again.

"I am not talking to you Opie. I don't have anything to say. We're through. I don't want to see you again. Now get out of my way so that I can leave or I will run you the hell over…" said Tara. The fire in her eyes showed that she just might do it. She was hurt and angry and disappointed in herself. "This has nothing to do with you. You don't want another child and that is fine. Then you don't have one." said Tara. She slammed her car door and tore off from the side of the road speeding down the street.

Opie stood there on the side of the road and shook his head. "Son of a bitch…." He looked around seeing where he was and knew it was a good two miles back to the garage. He took out his cell phone and called Jax. "Hey man…could you come and pick me up?" asked Opie.

Jax was working on a car at the garage. He said "Yeah sure I can come and get you. Where are you right now?" Jax tapped Chibs and let him know he was leaving. He walked out of the garage and climbed into the truck.

"I am on the side of the road by Lodi…you can't miss me. I'll be the one looking pissed." said Opie. Opie looked around as cars flew by him. He had a seat on the concrete barrier that was on the side of the road. He took out a cigarette and lit it.

"What the hell are you doing on the side of the road? I thought you left with Tara….." said Jax starting up the truck and pulling off the lot.

"She left me on the side of the road…long story…are you going to come and pick me up or not?" asked Opie getting pissed. He didn't want to have to call Jax but at the end of the day Jax was his best friend.

Jax laughed at him and said "Yeah keep your pants on. I will be there soon I am on the road now." Jax hung up and tossed the cell phone on the passenger seat of the truck.

"Alright I will see you then." said Opie hanging up. Opie sat on the concrete barrier and smoked his cigarette. He tried to figure out what he was going to do. He obviously loved Tara but he also wasn't ready to move this quickly into a serious relationship with her. He found himself angry at her for putting him in this position. He was angry at himself for putting himself in this situation. He thought about what he'd tell his children if Tara really decided to never see him again. But he thought about what to tell them if Tara was pregnant.

Jax pulled up on the side of the road and honked at Opie. "Get in!" said Jax chuckling. He turned the music down and waited for Opie to climb into the car. "What did you do to make Tara leave your ass on the side of the road? She had to be pissed! She's never done that to me before." said Jax. He wanted to laugh but he could see how upset Opie was.

Opie shook his head and said "When is the last time you had sex with Tara?" He wanted to know if there was a chance that Tara could be pregnant with Jax's baby although that would just add more problems to the situation that they were already in.

Jax looked over at him. He laughed and said "Why are you asking me that? It's been months." He thought it was an odd question for Opie to ask him. He didn't think that it was something that Opie would really want to know about. "You want details or something?"

"You mean you two haven't gotten together once since you broke up?" asked Opie incredulously. He was surprised. The two of them almost always got back together after they had broken up.

"Uh…no. When we broke up Tara was pretty pissed…about me cheating on her. I don't even know why I did it… really. She wasn't interested even when I went over and tried to sweet talk her. Why are you asking me about that? Did she say something?" asked Jax.

"She's pregnant." said Opie. He lit anther cigarette and puffed on it. He needed something stronger than a cigarette….like a drink. "She told me this afternoon…but she tried to tell me last night. But she asked me about moving in first and…that didn't go well. So she told me today. I was just wondering if the baby could be yours…when I asked her…she wouldn't answer me."

Jax almost hit the brakes. He was just getting used to the idea of them being together he wasn't ready for his best friend to start a family with a woman he was still in love with. He said "Uh…congratulations? You asked her that? We've been apart so long that if she was pregnant by me she would be showing by now…"

"We argued about the pregnancy…I mean…We've been using condoms…so that something like this didn't happen. We aren't ready for this. I am not ready for this. She said I didn't have a child…so I am assuming she is going to have an abortion." said Opie. Opie shook his head in dismay he couldn't believe that Tara would abort his child.

"You want her to do that?" asked Jax looking over at his friend for a moment before returning his gaze to the road. He had known Opie his whole life and he couldn't believe that Opie would be okay with something like that. Opie had always loved being a dad even back when he wasn't sure how exactly to do that.

"Of course I don't want her to get an abortion…I'd never forgive myself...if it is my kid then I want to be there for him or her. But I don't know if I am ready to commit myself to Tara for the rest of my life. Donna hasn't been gone long enough…that woman meant the world to me and I put her through hell. I got her killed…I owe her…I owe her to respect her memory and not move on so soon. I thought Tara understood that and then she springs all of this on me and I don't know what the hell to do about any of it. We've been together a little over two months…moving in…her being pregnant…it is too much too soon. I don't understand why she doesn't get that. Maybe she does…I don't know." said Opie.

Jax said "So you aren't ready to move on with her but you are ready to have sex with her? Listen I am not judging you know my relationship history. But what I am saying is that if you keep this up you are going to lose her on a permanent basis. You made it seem like you've wanted this for a long time."

"I wanted to date her not…move her in and have a family with her…it is all too soon. Just too soon. And now she's angry with me…she doesn't want to speak to me again…she threatened to run me down with her car." said Opie.

Jax chuckled and said "Damn…she is pissed…you really screwed up this time Ope. Where do you want me to drop you off? Do you want to go home or to work or where?"

"You can drop me off at the house. Pops and Mary have the kids at the cottage. I am going to drink a couple and then try to talk to Tara once my head is clear and she is less angry than me. I want to say the right things…I don't want to make this situation any worse than it already is. I mean I was angry and she was definitely angry…but I saw this fear and hurt in her eyes too and I hate knowing that I am the cause of that. Why did this happen when things were going so good. And she knew I was going to take it bad she started crying before she even told me what was going on. She had to know how bad this was going to be…" said Opie.

Jax said "Sounds like she was scared that you would react that way…." Jax pulled up at Opie's house. "Let me know if you need anything…I'll be around the garage." Jax said "Looks like Tara is here…." He nodded toward Tara's cutlass.

Opie nodded and said "Yeah…thanks man. I appreciate that." Opie got out of the car and walked up to his front door and stood there for awhile not sure if he wanted to walk into the house. "So much for me waiting until she isn't angry." He let himself into the house closing the door behind them.

Tara was in the bedroom gathering the clothes and things she had left at his house. She heard the front door open and then close and she stopped in her tracks. She sighed out loud and then went back to stuffing her clothes into a duffel bag. She figured he would have been on the side of the road for longer or would have gone back to work. Instead he was here and so was she. The only thing she could think of was getting the hell out of there before she had another massive breakdown.

Opie walked into the bedroom and watched her packing up. He walked over to her and stopped her from putting anymore clothes in the bag. "We really need to talk Tara…we need to talk now…" Opie sat down on the bed sliding her duffel bag out of the way.

"There is nothing to talk about Opie. You think that I am trying to trick you into staying with you. I don't have anything to say to you. You know that little about me that you think I would do such a thing…." said Tara.

"It is just too much too soon. I am not ready to start a completely new life I am still trying to deal with my death of my wife. I don't think that you would get pregnant on purpose Tara. I was just shocked and angry. Why aren't you on birth control? I mean as much as we have been having sex it never occurred to you?" said Opie.

Tara said "You are right I mean you are still trying to cope with Donna's death and figure out how to live your life without her. We should have never gotten involve with one another. You're not ready for a relationship…not one that has any real definition to it. It is okay if I sleep over every night, cook your dinners, do the laundry, clean up, take care of your kids, take care of your parents, all as long as I don't ask you to commit to me because it is still too soon. Well, this isn't something you have to worry about…we can just go back to being friends. I thought the condoms would be enough."

"We can't just go back to being friends Tara not that we know how we both feel about one another. We can't just go back like everything that has happened…didn't happen. Things between us are different now…I mean what does this mean for the kids? They love having you around."

"I'll still help out with them. I love Kenny and Ellie. I'll do whatever I can to make their lives easier. But I can be gone by the time you get home." said Tara.

Opie nodded slightly. "I don't want to lose you completely…I care about you. I love you. I love being with you. You being here for my kids has been amazing. You stepped up when we really needed you."

"You don't know what you want Ope…but I've got to do what is best for me. I am not asking you for anything. I don't want anything from you. I will take care of this situation on my own…so don't worry your pretty little head about it." said Tara sarcastically.

"Are you going to get an abortion…?"asked Opie hearing her say that's he was going to take care of the situation. He wasn't sure of a lot of things at the moment but he was sure that he didn't want that. He could never want that. No matter what was going on that was still his child that she was carrying. "Because I don't want you to get an abortion. I want you to keep the baby." said Opie.

"No, I am not going to have an abortion. I am going to carry this baby to term and keep it. I am not asking you for support or help…you don't even have to acknowledge the baby is yours. I'll come back another time for the rest of my stuff." said Tara. She picked up the duffel bag and walked out of the bedroom and out of the house. She didn't look back, she didn't respond to Opie calling her name. She was done. She climbed into her car and drove away.

Opie sat there on the bed. "That didn't go the way I planned…." muttered Opie shaking his head. Opie put his head in his hands. He had just let the woman he loved walk out of the door without much of a fight. He thought back to what Jax said…if he wasn't careful he would lose Tara for good…that was saying he hadn't lost her already.

Tara drove herself home and went inside. She tossed her duffel bag on the couch and went to her bedroom. She curled up in the bed and tried to will herself to sleep. She couldn't work this out in her head. He wanted her to be his old lady but he didn't want to commit…Tara laid there until she was able to drift off to sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

Tara slept for a couple of hours and tried calling Opie. She didn't know what she would say when she talked to him but she just wanted to hear his voice at the moment. The cell phone was answered but all she could hear in the background was music and laughter. Tara hung up not sure what to make of it and before she could think about it too much she heard a knock at the front door. She pulled herself out of bed and slipped her house shoes onto her feet and made her way to the front door. She was hoping that it was Opie. She wanted to talk to him but she was too stubborn to be the one to call him. She looked out the peephole and felt her heart sink. She opened the door and said "Hi Jax…is everything okay?" Tara leaned against the door frame with her hand still on the door knob.

Jax was standing there with a bag from the local market dangling from his finger. "I think I should be the one asking you that question. I heard about what happened this afternoon. I am the one that picked Opie up this afternoon from the side of the road…..where you left him. How are you holding up?" asked Jax with a concerned look on his face. They might not be together but he still cared about her as a friend. He could see that area under her eyes was puffy from crying earlier. Jax had gone by the club earlier and saw Opie. Opie was a mess and the crow-eaters were circling him like vultures. When Jax had left the club that evening Opie was heading back to his room with Sheila a crow-eater that had been after Opie for awhile.

Tara shook her head and said "Not great…not great at all. It was nice of you to pick him up. I didn't feel like sharing a car ride with him. I know that seems petty." She glanced at the bag dangling from his finger and asked "What is that?"

He chuckled and said "I thought you would never ask. I figured you could use some cheering up. So I stopped by the store and picked up two half gallons of your favorite ice cream….and two packs of your favorite cookies from the bakery. These always seemed to cheer you up when you were down."

Tara's face lit up more than she wanted it to. This was the food of champions….well at least the food of a seriously depressed pregnant woman. She grabbed for the bag before she could even stop herself. "Oooh!" said Tara in an excited voice.

Jax pulled back and chuckled. "Are you going to let me in? Or are you going to take my goodies and slam the door in my face?" asked Jax laughing. He would let her have the food either way but he really did want to come inside and see how she was doing.

Tara chuckled and said "Fine you can come in." Tara moved to let Jax into the house and then closed and locked the door behind him. She led the way to the kitchen and washed her hands. She grabbed two bowls and two spoons and said "Okay now give me the ice cream and cookies or it is going to get ugly."

Jax laughed and shook his head. "Here….I know better." He set the bag on the counter and had a seat on a barstool watching her work. He lit a cigarette and puffed on it and then stopped. "Oh…I'm sorry…" he looked around for an ashtray and put it out.

Tara started scooping ice cream for the both of them. "It was really nice of you to do this Jax. I know things have been sort of weird between us since I hooked up with Opie." She put the ice cream away and grabbed some toppings from the fridge. "Do you want nuts on your sundae?" She laughed a little and said "Thank you."

Jax laughed and said "I've got all the nuts I need right here." He winked at her suggestively and then just laughed again. "Well, I have to say that it all caught me by surprise but...I am happy for you…well at least I was happy for you. I hate that you and Opie are fighting. You make him happy and he obviously makes you happy too. I'll take some chocolate sauce on that sundae."

She laughed and said "You know how to make a girl feel so sexy Jax." "Well, thank you for being happy for me and Opie…no matter how brief it was. I really thought that we had a chance but…I guess it was too soon. I should have known better. He is still grieving. He's not ready for more than sex." She put chocolate sauce on both of their sundaes.

"He just needs some time to wrap his mind around all of this. I had the same problem when I found out that Wendy was pregnant with Abel. I was all spun out over it for a few days. I wasn't sure I was ready to be a father, hell I still wasn't sure when he was first born. I didn't know how it was going to change my life. But I got over it and realized that this was happening and my baby would need me. And he ended up needing me even more than I could have even imagined." said Jax.

Tara grabbed a couple of cookies from the pack and stuffed them into the side of the sundae she had prepared for herself. Tara slid Jax's bowl over to him and then had a seat at the island eating her sundae. "Mmm this is very good...thank you for stopping by with ice cream...I needed this but I was too lazy to go out and get it for myself. I don't know that he will come around. He was…you should have seen him. I don't think I've ever seen Opie like that…ever…and definitely not with me."

"Well, I am glad that I could help you. I figured you could use some cheering up...so are you going to be okay?" asked Jax eating the sundae. Jax looked over at her stomach as if he would see something that would confirm her pregnancy but of course she was too early for that.

Tara caught him looking at her stomach "Go ahead and say whatever it is you have to say because I do not feel like talking about this for an extended period of time. I've had enough talking today." She flashed him a smile to let him know that she was just joking. She respected his opinions. Jax was the only person that knew her and Opie the best.

"I was just going to say congratulations. I know Opie wasn't at his best today but...he does love you. And he will come around sooner or later. Don't give up on him." said Jax. It pained Jax to say that because his heart was screaming at him to make some sort of declaration of his love for her but at the end of the day he knew that it was Opie that she wanted. He put his hand on her flat stomach and said "You are going to be a great mother Tara…."

Tara shook her head and said "I love Opie but...when he accused me of doing this to keep him in a relationship...it hurt. I would never do something like that and I would hope that he would know that about me but apparently not. I mean I thought he might be upset but...I never expected anything like this. So I told him not worry about it. This is my baby and I will take care of my baby without him." She felt tears welling up in her eyes. "I don't want to talk about it anymore…okay?"

Jax put his hands up in surrender. He then wrapped his arms around her and gave her a tight hug. "You have my word…I won't say anything else about Opie. How are things at the hospital?" He figured work was a safe topic for the moment. He didn't want to upset Tara.

"Work has been great. I've been assisting on a lot of great surgeries. I am getting a lot of operating room time, which is important to me. And the hospital administrator hasn't been such a major bitch. All in all, my career is going great. How is Abel? I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks." said Tara.

Jax said "The kid is doing great he is crawling and teething. He keeps me up a lot at night now because he is teething. The poor little man doesn't seem to get much rest. He's been staying with mom some nights to give me a break. This single parent thing is not great when I've got to go on the road and all of that."

"He is growing up so quickly. I didn't realize that he had started crawling already. I mean I know that he is at that age but…I've missed a lot…" said Tara feeling a little guilty. She had been there with Abel from the first day of his life and in the last two weeks she had been so busy with work that she hadn't gotten over to Gemma's house to see him. "You know if you ever need a babysitter and Gemma is busy you can bring him by. I'd love to watch him for you. I miss the little guy."

"That is a nice offer but I know that you are busy Tara. I wouldn't want to put anything extra on you. You seem to have a lot on your plate right now anyway…" said Jax.

Tara said "Well, my schedule just freed up a little. Although like I told Ope this afternoon I will still help out with his kids. I am not just going to abandon them if he needs the help. And he will…even though Mary is in town…she is usually arguing with Piney. They argue so much but they really do love one another. Reminds me of Clay and Gemma. It is amazing."

"What? That they can fight so much and still love one another? We used to get into arguments all of the time but I've never loved anyone as intensely as I love you." said Jax.

"No…not that." said Tara with a sheepish smile. "I was just thinking that it is amazing to love someone for such a long time like that. I don't know…I want that…to love one man for the rest of my life and have him love me too. But more importantly…to have him love me as much as I love him." said Tara quietly. She finished off her sundae in relative silence.

Jax didn't really know how to respond to that. He was supposed to be there to cheer her up and to talk up Opie. But at the moment all he wanted to do was tell this amazing woman just how much he hated himself for her hurting and how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Instead of saying anything Jax just shoveled ice cream into his mouth. After awhile Jax finished eating. He said "I guess…I should go…"

Tara bit her lip slightly but then looked at him. "Do you want to maybe stay awhile and watch television or a movie or something…?" asked Tara. She really didn't want to be alone again. Silence meant that she would have to think about her and Opie. And she didn't want that right now. "I'll make you another sundae and you can pick the movie."

Jax chuckled and said "Alright I will stay and watch a movie with you. And I could stand for another sundae." He got up and walked into the living room. He found the remote and flipped the channels. He had a seat on the floor thinking that would put distance between him and Tara.

Tara walked into the room a few minutes later carrying sundaes for both of them. She handed Jax his and then had a seat on the floor next to him. "So what are we going to watch?" asked Tara.

Jax said "Uh…we are going to watch Freddy versus Jason…I've seen it a couple of times. Despite it being a horror movie. It is actually really funny." He looked over at Tara and actually felt himself smirk. He hadn't had a good time with her in a long time and this reminded him of the old days.

Tara said "Oh I hate that movie…it always scares me. Freddy scares me the most I think…I think it is the whole being in my dreams thing…you can't get away from the ugly son of a bitch." She laughed and said "But I did say that you could choose what we watched." Tara ate the sundae and watched the movie with him. She jumped slightly at a particularly gruesome scene.

"Well, you've never been fond of scary movies. You used to always scream whenever we watched one. Usually you ended up in my lap and then in my bed later on." said Jax with a satisfied smirk. Tara had always been friskier when she was terrified of a movie.

"I was terrified of scary movies but you loved them so much. I watched them anyway. I think you dragged me to see every horror movie that came out and rented the rest for us to watch at the house. I was always shocked when you picked something like an action filmed. Shocked and grateful." said Tara laughing.

Jax smirked a little and said "You were usually frightened enough that you wanted to spend the night with me and I always got lucky. I wasn't that big of a fan of horror flicks but when I saw the effect they had on you…well I became a fan."

Tara looked surprised and then laughed. "You pervert, you didn't even like scary movies but you used them as a way to get me into bed?"

Jax chuckled and said "Well, not at first…it was just a fun way to feel you up. Don't be mad at me…I was a sex mad 16 year old. I was always thinking up new and inventive ways to get into your pants, horror flicks just seemed to work the best. I still don't know how Clay and mom didn't realize you were staying over so many nights."

Tara chuckled and said "All of this time…I never realized it was just a ploy. As I have gotten older I refuse to believe that Gemma is out of the loop on much of anything. I know my dad didn't really notice that I wasn't coming home every night. It was easy to sneak over to your place." Tara chuckled thinking about their past together. "You used to always say that they weren't going to be that scary."

Jax chuckled and put an arm around her and watched the movie. "Relax darlin…this movie isn't that scary." said Jax with a mischievous wink. He ate the rest of his sundae and relaxed watching the movie.

Tara relaxed eating her sundae as she watched the movie. As the movie became scarier Tara moved closer and closer to Jax until she was nearly sitting on his lap. Her legs were actually on top of his. She jumped every time something happened. But at one particularly hair raising scene Tara let out a scream and her sundae flew out of her hands. "Jax!" Tara jumped up the ice cream was all over her shirt and chest. The bowl tumbled onto the floor.

Jax looked over at her and laughed seeing ice cream covering her chest. "Okay…okay I am sorry!" said Jax turning off the tv laughing hysterically. "I am sorry babe…hold on I will go get paper towels or something." Jax went into the kitchen and grabbed a whole roll of paper towel and came back out. He started cleaning the ice cream off of her chest without even thinking about it. As he did his fingers accidentally grazed the sides of her breasts after awhile Jax wasn't sure if it was an accident or not.

Tara laughed softly but looked into his eyes. She was starting to feel those old familiar feelings and Jax's fingers accidentally grazing her breasts was not helping the situation. The chemistry that the two of them had wasn't gone it was still alive and well. Jax's fingers ran across her nipple it seemed almost on purpose and that sent a shiver through her spine.

He looked where the tank top stopped and saw that she had ice cream on the exposed part of her chest. "Just let me…get that." said Jax. The rational part of his brain was telling him to let her handle it. But Jax's lower half prevailed. He went to wipe the ice cream from her chest but instead leaned in and took a quick swipe with his tongue. Jax licked her chest for a second time and raised his gaze to hers. He expected to see anger but instead Tara had a glassy look in her eyes and he realized that her breathing had sped up considerably. Jax leaned in and kissed her passionately tangling his fingers in her dark hair.

Tara reacted almost out of instinct and returned Jax's kiss moaning quietly against his lips. Her body was screaming at her to keep going. There was something about having sex with Jax that always made everything alright. Even the night that they killed Kohn together, having sex with Jax was the only thing that kept her sane. She rationalized in her head that she had broken up with Opie but she knew how wrong it still was.

Jax walked the two of them backward until they stumbled into her bedroom and the two of them fell back onto her bed. Jax pulled her ice cream soaked shirt from her body and kissed her. Jax had a one track mind at this moment. He wanted to claim Tara's body as his own.

Tara shoved his cut from his shoulders and pulled open the shirt he was wearing. "Jax…" gasped Tara as Jax pulled the lounge pants she was wearing down her legs along with her panties. She felt light headed from everything that was going on but it only seemed to fuel her on more.

And for a few minutes it was like they were both on autopilot, they both knew each others' bodies like well studied maps. Jax knew what things to do to drive Tara absolutely mad and he could tell from her moans that he was 100% successful. He felt her body shudder under his touch and watched her bottom lip quiver with desire. Jax knew it was wrong but at the moment there was no stopping this train and with little warning the two of them melted into one another and drove each other into an animalistic heat.

Tara clutched his shoulders feeling that familiar feeling burning deep within her. For a moment it was like an out of body experience. She could hear someone moaning and soon realized that it was her voice she heard amidst the panting and movement of the bed beneath them. "Jax…" moaned Tara biting her lip. She opened her eyes and looked up seeing his face and she felt sick to her stomach. "Jax….stop…please." said Tara. Her head was pounding at the moment.

Jax found it difficult to stop but slowly did. He looked at her and asked "Are you okay?"

Tara shook her head quickly. She could feel the bile rising in her throat and her head was spinning.

Jax moved off of her. "Did I hurt you?" asked Jax concerned. He knew that he had been quite overzealous.

Tara got off of the bed in a hurry not answering him and ran straight for the bathroom flinging the door closed behind her.

Jax was shocked by the movement of her getting off of the bed so quickly he got up and walked to the bathroom door. "Tara…" said Jax. He listened and could hear Tara retching behind the bathroom door. He opened the door and walked into the bathroom. He held her hair for her while she threw up.

"Go….I don't want you to see me like this." said Tara trying to stem the tide of nausea she felt surging through her body.

"I've seen you throw up before…don't hold back it hurts worse." He lightly caressed her back with his free hand.

Tara continued until she had emptied all of the contents of her stomach. She stayed kneeled there looking as white as a sheet holding onto the toilet for dear life. She was still feeling light headed.

Jax walked over to the sink and wet a wash cloth. He put it on the back of her neck. "It's okay…" said Jax. He lightly caressed his back.

Tara stood up with Jax's help. "Thank you…" She walked over to the sink and rinsed her mouth and then brushed her teeth. "I need a shower…it shouldn't take me long…don't leave please…" said Tara. She felt embarrassed after having to throw up in the middle of sex. She needed some time alone.

Jax nodded and said "Okay…I am not going anywhere darlin." He walked out of the bathroom leaving her alone. He went into the bedroom and got dressed and then went out into the living room and cleaned up the ice cream and the bowls they had eaten out of. Jax had a cigarette and waited for her to come out of the shower.

Tara was washing up but her dizziness grew worse and a sharp pain seized through her abdomen knocking the wind out of her. Tara crumbled to her knees in the shower seeing drops of blood on the floor. "Jax…." breathed Tara as she lost consciousness on the shower floor.

About twenty minutes later Jax was still waiting for her and wondered what was taking so long. Jax walked back to the bathroom and lightly knocked on the door. "Tara….?" asked Jax. He could hear the water running but he didn't hear anything else. Jax opened the bathroom door and walked into the bathroom. He froze momentarily. Tara was slumped over in the shower unconscious. Jax didn't know what to think. He turned off the water and grabbed a towel and lifted her out of the shower. He carried her into the bedroom. "Tara…talk to me baby…please." said Jax. Jax panicked briefly.

He rushed over to her dresser and grabbed a long night shirt for her and a pair of panties. He hastily dressed her and then wrapped her up in a blanket and carried her out to her car. He rushed back in and grabbed her keys and then climbed into the old cutlass. He glanced in the back seat and then started up the car speeding off for the hospital. The entire time he told himself to be fast but safe. "I am going to get you there Tara. You are going to be okay…I promise." said Jax trying to convince himself. On this night it seemed like St. Thomas hospital was a million miles away. Jax's heart raced as he glanced into the back seat at Tara who was still out cold. Jax was a block away from the hospital when he had to stop at a traffic light. "Come on you son of a bitch!" said Jax to the traffic light.

The light quickly turned green and Jax sped into the intersection. As he did a truck was coming from the other direction and t-boned the car. Tara's car went skidding across the road and flipped as it slid into a street light. The car was resting on its roof and sparks were coming from the pole. The horn blared non-stop breaking the silence of the cool fall night. Broken glass littered the small street and the sounds of sirens could be heard approaching the intersection.

The truck driver got out of his car and tried to look into the car but he didn't see any movement but he did see Jax's bloody face. He panicked and hopped back into his truck and sped off hoping that no one saw him leaving the scene.

As the driver fled the scene of the accident smoke billowed out of the car and gasoline leaked onto the ground. The sparks from the street light danced precariously close to the gasoline covered street.


	22. Chapter 22

Jax was in and out of consciousness but started to stir hearing the sirens grow louder as the police and ambulance arrived at the scene. "Tara..." murmured Jax hardly able to keep his eyes open he reached and unbuckled his seatbelt trying to get to her. He collapsed against the roof of the car. He looked toward the back seat not seeing Tara move at all. "Tara..." said Jax. He reached out for her and managed to take her hand. He passed out again.

The ambulance arrived along with David Hale. Hale recognized the car immediately and hopped out of his jeep racing over to the car. He slid across the gasoline soaked roadway. "Tara!" called David. He crouched down and took out his flashlight trying to get a look into the car. He saw Jax's body contorted in the front seat of the car. "Jax can you hear me?" asked David. He flashed the flashlight into the back seat and saw a white comforter in the back, there was a leg sticking out of it. He looked at the two paramedics coming over. "We've got two victims, a man and a woman!" yelled David. He took out his radio. "This is deputy chief David Hale I need another ambulance out here on Davis drive."

Jax groaned a little. "Tara…"murmured Jax. He was in and out of unconsciousness. He tried his best to stay lucid but it kept slipping from his grasp. "Baby…" murmured Jax and was out of it again.

"Don't worry Jax I am going to get her out." said David trying to open the back door of Tara's car. The door was pretty well jammed from the car accident and David couldn't pry it open.

The paramedics went for Jax first pulling him out of the car and getting him onto a stretcher and into a neck brace. The paramedics got him into the ambulance and one paramedic stayed with him attempting to work on him.

Tig was on his way to take home one of the newer girls that was just starting work at Caracara. He spotted the accident and slowed down but stopped altogether recognizing the car. He got off of the motorcycle and ran over to the car. "What the hell happened?" asked Tig looking pointedly at David Hale.

David kicked in the back window showering the back of the car with glass. "Jax and Tara were in a car accident...it looks like a hit and run. The paramedics already have Jax on the stretcher. Another ambulance is en route to take Tara in. Help me get her out please."

Tig and David worked together to pull Tara's body from the wreckage. Tig was holding Tara in his arms as the first ambulance pulled off with Jax in the back and the second ambulance pulled up. Tig walked toward it as two more paramedics got out. One of them brought over the stretcher and Tig laid Tara down on the stretcher. Tig walked away and took out his cell phone calling Clay.

Clay was at home with Gemma for the night. He reached over answering the phone. "Hello?" asked Clay.

"Clay, its Tig. I was over on Davis drive when I saw Tara's car in the middle of the road overturned. Hale said that it looks like a hit and run. Jax was with her. The paramedics transported him first. They are loading her up now and heading over to St. Thomas. Do you want me to go to the hospital or go to the club and get Ope?" asked Tig.

Clay sat up in bed and said "No...uh go to the hospital let me know if you hear anything. I'll have Bobby tell Opie. I am going to get Gemma and we'll be there in a minute." Clay hung up and looked over at his wife not sure what to tell her since he knew so little about Jax's condition.

Tig hung up and hopped onto his bike with the girl from Caracara and sped off toward the hospital following the ambulance.

Clay and Gemma arrived at the hospital a few minutes after Tig. "Have you heard anything Tigger?" asked Gemma with a concerned look on her face.

Tig shook his head and said "I'm sorry Gem…the doctors are looking at both of them I don't know anything yet…"

"Well, what in the hell happened?" asked Gemma.

David Hale walked over and said "It looks like someone hit their car as they were driving through the intersection. I don't know any more than that Jax was in and out of consciousness while they were getting him out of the car. He couldn't tell me what had happened. I am sure we'll have better success when he wakes up."

Gemma paced the floor nervously waiting for word of Jax or Tara. The waiting was taking its toll on her. The longer she waited the antsier she became about the entire situation. Gemma looked at Clay. "Someone has to tell Opie…he needs to be here."

Clay gently rubbed her shoulders. "Baby, I called Bobby before we left the house. Opie was still at the club he was going to go and tell him. I am sure that both of them will be here soon."

The rest of the guys started to slowly arrive at the hospital having gotten the word that Jax and Tara had been in a car accident.

Meanwhile….

Bobby waited until the coffee was finished brewing and then he walked to Opie's room. He knocked on the door hearing the tell-tale signs of enthusiastic sex on the other side of the door. "Opie open up…" said Bobby pounding on the door to be heard over the moans and the music.

Opie groaned he was having quite a good time with Sheila and her friend Natalie. The two girls were showing him a time he had rarely had before and had been doing so for the better part of the evening. He reached over picking up a bottle of whiskey taking a swig from it. "Can't a guy get some privacy!" bellowed Opie getting out of the bed.

Sheila giggled and said "Opie! Come back…." She got up going after him. Sheila stood behind him running her hands over his muscled chest. "Come back to bed with us Opie…I have a couple of things that I want to show you…You'll never forget them."

Natalie was still sprawled out on the bed naked and pointed her toes in Bobby's direction. "Do you want to join in on the fun?" She laughed and said "Opie come back and join us...the bed is getting lonely without you."

Opie stood at the door in the buff. "What's up Bobby?" He laughed and said "I'll be back in a minute girls…"

"I need to talk to you out in the bar. Why don't you come and have a cup of coffee with me?" said Bobby. He didn't want to tell Opie about the car accident while Sheila and Natalie were there listening to the entire conversation or while he was still drunk out of his skull.

Opie chuckled and said "You see that I am busy here. Can't it wait? I see the way you are looking at me and all… but Tara and I are taking a break which means I can have sex with anyone I chose tonight. And tomorrow afternoon once I am sober I'll go over to her house with some flowers and set things right with her. This way she can't say that I cheated on her. And I get one last hurrah." Opie thought his drunken plan was an ingenious one.

Bobby shook his head. "Clay called me…you need to get over to the hospital. Jax and Tara were in a car accident tonight. We don't have any other information beyond that. Everyone else is already over there…we need to get you somewhat sober before you go."

Opie stood there a moment trying to comprehend what Bobby was saying to him. "Are they okay?" asked Opie still rather shocked at the moment. He didn't know what to make of the situation.

Bobby said "I don't know…they were both unconscious the last time I received a call from Clay….do you want to go to the hospital?" Bobby decided that might be a better question at the moment.

He said "Of course I want to go to the hospital….I'll be out in a minute." Opie closed the door and moved around Sheila looking for his clothes and getting dressed clumsily. Opie was getting angry not being able to find all of the pieces of his clothing in his drunken haze. All he could think about was his two best friends were unconscious in a hospital and he wasn't there.

"Opie…where are you going? You said you two weren't even together anymore. Why are you concerned with that bitch…she can't do the things that I do…Stay here with me." said Sheila grabbing his hand to stop him from getting dressed.

Opie snatched his hand away from her and said "Get out of my way. And get out…" Opie stared at Sheila letting her know he meant business. Opie was generally a kind and loving man but he had a glare that could see right through you. Opie felt bad and said "Listen…I'll stop by your place and see you later…okay….?"

"Sure Opie…" said Sheila in a meek voice. Sheila gathered her clothes getting dressed as she scampered out of the room along with a stunned Natalie. She hurried out of the club.

Opie walked out into the bar and said "I am ready to go Bobby." His black shirt was buttoned the wrong way.

Bobby shook his head and said "You are wasted Ope…you need to drink this down…try to sober you up a little before we go to the hospital. You'll need to be lucid for that." Bobby nudged a cup of coffee in his direction. He hadn't seen Opie so drunk since after Donna had died.

Opie said "I want to get to the hospital now Bobby. I want to know what happened…she was fine earlier…I…I….she was fine when she left my house earlier. And Jax….he gave me a ride home today…tried to get me to work things out with Tara." Opie sat down on the bar stool and drank the cup of coffee hoping that it would help clear the cobwebs in his head.

Bobby looked at Opie and said "What happened I thought things were going good between you and Tara…and now you two are taking a break and you are bagging the chick she beat up a couple of weeks ago?" He topped off Opie's cup of coffee when it got low. "What's going on with you, brother…this isn't like you…." said Bobby. Opie was a steady type of guy this wasn't his typical behavior.

"I don't know…things were going great and then she wanted to move in with me and then…today she told me that she was pregnant. I don't want a baby right now…I didn't think that I did…I was just shocked…I didn't take the news very well. I said some stuff…" said Opie. It was then that the fog seemed to lift more. "Pregnant." repeated Opie with a little more clarity. "She's pregnant Bobby…I've got know if…she and the baby are okay." said Opie. He felt like an ass for not remembering the baby sooner.

"You need to be at least a little closer to sober. Listen, everyone is already at the hospital if there is any information about Tara or Jax then Clay or one of the guys will call and let me know. So just cool your jets for right now." said Bobby refilling Opie's cup. "So…I thought that you thought Tara was the one for you?" asked Bobby trying to figure out what was going on so that he could report back to Clay. At the moment no one was sure what had happened. The guys at the club just knew that Opie had bagged two different girls that night and was drinking like there was no tomorrow.

"I think maybe she is but I didn't think I would have to make a commitment to her so quickly and she freaked out on me earlier because…I wasn't happy about the baby…I hurt her feelings…" said Opie falling into silence. "I assumed I'd have tomorrow to make it up to her…to let her know that I do want to be with her… that I do want our baby…." He drank his coffee the news and the coffee serving to sober him up more.

Bobby looked at him as the gravity of the situation landed on Opie's face. It was then that Bobby believed he was sober enough to go to the hospital. "Come on we are going to take one of the trucks over there." Bobby still didn't think Opie was sober enough to ride his motorcycle over there. Bobby grabbed the keys and walked out of the club with Opie and over to the truck. He climbed in and waited on Opie to get into the truck too.

Opie climbed into the truck and closed the door. He stared out the window thinking about Tara and Jax and wondering what could have happened.

Bobby took off for the hospital. But Davis drive was on the way to St. Thomas hospital. Bobby stopped at the intersection and spotted the police investigating the scene. The car was still overturned in the roadway as the crime scene unit photographed the scene.

Opie stared out the window stunned seeing the wreckage and knowing that his two best friends had been inside that car. Opie had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He feared the worst. Opie got out of the truck and walked closer to the crime scene staring at the car.

"Opie…come on get back into the car…we need to get to the hospital." Bobby wished he had taken another route but couldn't change his mind now.

Opie stood there for a minute before walking back to the truck and climbing in next to Bobby. His face was stone cold.

Bobby drove through the intersection once the light changed and made his way to the hospital. He pulled up at the door and said "Go ahead inside. I will park and meet you in there."

Opie got out of the car even more messed up having seen the car. He walked into the hospital feeling almost numb.

Bobby parked and then got out heading inside as well. As he was heading in Clay and Tig were walking toward him.

"I see you got the boy wonder here. How is he doing?" asked Clay.

Bobby said "he isn't good…he will be worse once he actually sobers up more. It is all starting to hit him. Especially, after we drove by the scene…any news?"

Clay shook his head and said "We haven't heard shit yet…they are taking their time getting back to us. I want know who did this…"

Bobby nodded and said "We are going to figure out who is responsible Clay and retribution will be meted out appropriately whether by blood or cash."

Clay shook his head and said "What the hell took you so long to get him over here anyway?"

"I had to sober him up and it took more than just one cup of coffee to do it. For a minute I didn't even know if he was going to go because when I went to his room he had two crow-eaters in there showing him a good time. They were really going to town in there." said Bobby.

Clay shook his head and said "That little bastard. Kids…even when they are in their 30's they are still kids. I don't know under what circumstances Jax and Tara were together…" Clay looked over at Tig.

Tig looked back at Clay. They both had a fairly good idea of why Jax and Tara had been together that night. Tig knew that if it was him he would have been sniffing around to see if there was a chance for reconciliation.

Bobby said "Yeah…apparently her telling Opie that she was pregnant broke the two of them up."

"It's his baby right?' asked Tig.

Bobby nodded and said "Seems to be…."

Clay shook his head and said "Let's go and see if there is any news." Clay led the way back to the waiting room where everyone else was standing or sitting waiting for news on Jax and Tara.

Opie was standing by a window staring out blankly.

Tig walked over to him. "You've got a lot of fucking balls banging some sluts while your pregnant old lady is by herself. You don't want a kid with her…that might be good because there may not be one. I took her out of the car myself…she was wrapped up in a blanket in the backseat…Jax was probably on his way to the hospital with her to begin with." Tig was loud enough for everyone that was with them to hear.

Opie looked around seeing sideways glances from some and outright looks of anger from others. But the one he hated the most was the looks of disappointment he saw on Clay and Gemma's faces. "Get out of my face!" said Opie. He felt even worse listening to Tig. He went to swing at him.

Happy got in the way. "You want to get thrown out of here? Then you won't have a clue as to what is wrong with Tara and Jax."

Opie said "I'll be in the chapel…come and get me when there is news." He walked away from the group but didn't go the chapel straight away. He walked around the hospital and walked past Jax's room. He looked into the rectangular window in the door and saw doctors working on his unconscious friend. Opie's heart sank even lower and he made his way to the chapel. He headed inside closing the door behind him and walked over lighting candles for Jax, Tara, and the baby. Opie kneeled and said "God…I know that I don't…talk to you very much and I don't know if you answer prayers from sinners like me…but…"He heard the doors to the chapel swing open. He glanced behind him and saw Clay standing there.

Clay walked over to him and put his hand on Opie's shoulder. "Sometimes…prayer is the only thing we have going for us son…go on…"

"I…I don't know if you answer sinners like me but please…don't let me lose any of them. Please let Tara, the baby, and Jax come through this…amen…" said Opie doing the sign of the cross. He stood up and said "I'm sorry Clay…I screwed up."

Clay hugged Opie and said "We all do from time to time. We all do…"

Bobby walked into the chapel. "The doctors are getting ready to come and speak to everyone."

Clay said "Come on Ope." Clay walked out of the chapel and Clay followed.


	23. Chapter 23

Two doctors walked into the waiting room area. "I am Dr. Henderson and this is Dr. Forrest. Gemma Morrow is listed as the next of kin for both Jackson Teller and Dr. Tara Knowles…could he possibly see you over here for a moment."

Gemma took Clay's hand and they walked away from the group. "Are both of them okay?" asked Gemma. She was nervous. She could feel her heart beating out of control. She had a million questions on the tip of her tongue but she decided to let the doctors say what they needed to say first.

Dr. Henderson led the group over to a quiet part of the waiting room and everyone had a seat. "Jackson suffered a fairly serious concussion in the car accident as well as a few superficial lacerations to his face. He fractured his left arm in the accident. We expect him to make a speedy recovery. However, while we were examining him he also suffered from a cardiac episode in which his heart went into an arrhythmia that we were unable to get under control for several minutes. We are going to keep him over night and monitor his progress. But there is no reason that we shouldn't be able to release him tomorrow afternoon as long as he regains consciousness tonight." said Dr. Henderson.

Gemma relaxed somewhat hearing that Jax was going to be okay. Though hearing about his heart set her own heart to racing. The family flaw was alive and well and could still claim her son's life if he wasn't careful with his health. "And what about Tara? Is she okay?"

Dr. Forrest said "Dr. Knowles suffered a concussion in the crash as well as a couple of cracked ribs. But it is a condition that existed before the crash that we found to be the most troubling. Upon examination we determined that Dr. Knowles is pregnant. During the ultrasound we noticed some issues related to her placenta. She will need to be monitored throughout her pregnancy to ensure that this issue with her placenta doesn't get any worse. Later on in the pregnancy it could lead to pre-term labor or miscarriage. But right now we have Dr. Knowles hooked up to a fetal monitor and the fetus appears to be in good health and right on target for a 12 to 13 week old fetus."

"Can we see them?" asked Gemma anxious to see both of them with her own eyes. It was one thing to hear a doctor's assessment it was another thing to be able to see them and know that they were okay.

Dr. Henderson said "Right now both of them are unconscious but we expect them to wake up within the next hour or so. We will be monitoring Mr. Teller and Dr. Knowles very closely. Sure you can see both of them. But we ask that you restrict visitors to two at a time."

Gemma nodded and said "Thank you…what rooms are they in?"

"Rooms 213 and 215." said Dr. Henderson.

Clay stood up and said "I will go and let everyone know that they are both okay. Go on I will catch up with you." He could see that Gemma was ready to go and didn't think she'd be able to wait while they talked to everyone together.

Gemma kissed his cheek and stood up and walked to the rooms. She peered into both windows and went into Jax's room first. She went over to his hospital bed and winced seeing the cleaned lacerations on his face. She had a seat next to his bed. "You've always been good at getting yourself into tight spots. What have you gotten yourself into this time Jackson Teller?" She kissed his cheek and sat with him. "What have you gotten yourself into….?" repeated Gemma. Earlier that night Jax had come by her house to drop off Abel for the night. He had told Gemma that he was going to go check up on Tara to make sure that she was okay but that had been earlier in the evening. Gemma had no doubt that Jax had never left Tara's house from the moment he had arrived there. And that could only spell trouble.

Clay walked into the room a few minutes later. "How is he doing?" asked Clay. He walked over to the chair that Gemma was sitting in and looked over at Jax.

"He looks good…I was worried he'd look a lot worse than he does. I could take everything else they said easily…but hearing about his heart…." said Gemma trailing off as she looked at Jax. "Just like him to get good rest while everyone else is worried sick."

Clay said "I know this is bringing up a lot of bad things for you…including Thomas…but Jax is going to be okay. It's nothing that hasn't happened before…it was just probably a lot for his body to handle with the car accident and all." He put his hands on Gemma's shoulders standing behind her. "He is going to be okay Gemma." said Clay kissing the top of her head. Gemma wasn't always big on expressing her emotions but Clay didn't need her to tell him about this. He could see it the moment the doctor's mentioned Jax's heart.

"Oh I know…it just scares me…" said Gemma leaning back slightly so that she was resting her head against Clay. "But… there are miracles in the world. Jax and Tara survived the crash with minimal damage and…Tara didn't lose the baby…what are the odds on that…?" asked Gemma. "How someone could…just run into them like that and leave them there…it is beyond me. This sort of thing doesn't happen in Charming that is why I love it here so much. It is a sense of family…and a sense of community…like you know that you are somewhere safe."

"You couldn't find longer odds in Vegas. But with everything they've both been through…they are fighters…too stubborn to go out easily." said Clay. "I've got Tig, Happy, and Chibs out looking for whatever information they can get their hands on. I am going to find out who caused this accident." promised Clay.

"Good…" said Gemma in a cold voice. "I want the person responsible for this accident to pay for what they did…for what they could have done. What they could have taken from me…from all of us." said Gemma. Her gaze had never left Jax's face.

"Don't worry my love…I am going to take care of this…there will be vengeance…" said Clay. Clay had the same fire burning inside of him. He would make sure that this didn't go unanswered.

Gemma said "I should go and check on Tara. I don't want her to wake up over there alone. We are the only family that she really has." Gemma stood up from the chair. "Are you going to stay here with Jax?" asked Gemma.

"I will be right here until you come back Gemma." said Clay. "Go on and check up on the doc." said Clay having a seat in the chair that Gemma had just relinquished. "Oh and Juice and his girlfriend Sara are going to stop by our house to let Neeta go home for the night. Sara will stay over and watch Abel for us. I told juice to bring a sweater for you. I know that you have to be freezing with this air conditioning."

Gemma gave a small smile and walked out of the room and walked next door to Tara's room. She walked into the room and saw Opie sitting there holding Tara's hand. His eyes looked red like he had been crying at some point. Gemma walked over to Opie pulling over another chair. "How is she doing?" asked Gemma.

Opie said "She's okay…she hasn't woken up yet…the baby…is okay…it is sort of comforting hearing his or her heartbeat on the monitor…" He looked over at Gemma. "I wasn't even sure I wanted a baby…until…I realized that…" Opie couldn't finish the sentence. "She is going to hate me when she comes out of this. It isn't that I don't love her…it was just that everything was moving too quickly for me to get a handle on everything…and I didn't react well."

Gemma said "Sometimes it takes…bad things to make us appreciate all of the good things we have in life Opie. I know that you love Tara…and I bet that she knows it too. Did you call your parents to let them know what is going on?"

Opie shook his head and said "No, you know the old man…he'd be ready to get on the road tonight and drive back here. I don't trust his night driving too much and there is no way he would listen to anyone telling him not to drive. I figure I will just call him first thing in the morning…I still don't know what I am going to tell my kids…and not just about the accident…but about why Tara isn't staying with us anymore…I mean they got used to her being there every day and every night."

Gemma said "Well, you have a point there. Piney has never been good at following directions. Although, I suppose you get to a certain age and you should be able to march to the beat of your own drum. I know this has you out of sorts but you just tell them that Tara is going to be okay…that is what is important…the rest…can wait for another time." Gemma hugged Opie. "It is going to be okay Opie…" Gemma sat with Opie for awhile before getting up to check on Jax.

Clay looked up when the door opened. "How are Tara and Opie doing over there?"

"There hasn't been any change in Tara but…Opie is not doing well. I don't want to leave him over there alone…do you think you could go over there and keep him company while I sit here with Jax…we cans with every so often." said Gemma.

Clay nodded and said "of course I can handle that." He kissed her cheek and walked out of the room.

And that is how it continued for the next couple of hours. Gemma and Clay would take turns going between Jax and Tara's hospital rooms keeping an eye on both of them. Clay could see that Gemma was wearing out and it was already 3:00 in the morning. Clay kissed her cheek and said "Why don't we quit all of this swapping. You stay in here with Jax and keep an eye on him and I will go and sit with Opie in Tara's room. I know you have to be exhausted baby."

Gemma wanted to argue with him but the truth was she was absolutely on her last leg. Her feet were killing her and she was beyond tired. She nodded and said "Alright but call me if anything changes over there."

Clay smiled and said "You will be the first to know." He kissed her softly. "I love you baby." He walked out of Jax's room and walked into Tara's room. He had a seat on the opposite side of the bed.

Opie's had fallen asleep in the chair but he was still holding Tara's hand.

Clay stayed up for awhile listening to the monitors beep but eventually he fell asleep as well.

About an hour later Tara started to stir. She cried out quietly in pain. Her body ached all over. She tried to move but cried out in pain again. Her vitals shot off of the charts.

Opie and Clay both woke up hearing Tara cry out in pain. Clay hit the call button for the nurse.

"Tara…baby talk to me please." said Opie his voice thick with emotion. He was exhausted and still coming down from being drunk but he was focused on the face of the woman before him.

Tara was still in and out of it and had no idea where she was. "Jax….I need you." said Tara with a tinge of fear in her voice. "Jax…" murmured Tara. Tara had broke out into a fear and sweat dotted her forehead.

Opie stared at her and dropped her hand. He stood up and walked out of the room.

Clay said "Opie…" He shook his head and took Tara's hand. "It's alright darlin…you aren't alone…just rest now…" said Clay.

"Jax…"murmured Tara gain as the doctors and nurses rushed into the room.


	24. Chapter 24

Sometime in the morning once Gemma and Clay had both woken up from what could only be called brief naps the two of them switched rooms. Gemma went to sit with Tara and Clay stayed with Jax. Jax had woken up a couple of hours ago and had convinced Juice to bring him breakfast from the local diner. Jax was devouring his breakfast and when he was done he pushed his tray aside. He leaned back against his pillows tiredly. He was worried about Tara. She had been in and out of it but had never fully regained consciousness. He was beginning to worry that there was something more serious wrong with her than the doctors had let on.

Clay said "I don't think I've seen you eat like that in a long time. I am glad to see you have your appetite. So are you feeling okay? Are you in any pain or anything?" Clay nodded his head to the sling on Jax's left arm. Clay was seated in a chair next to Jax's bed.

"No, I am feeling pretty good. They gave me a shot of Demerol not long ago. I am not feeling any pain at all. But it looks like I won't be able to ride for awhile." said Jax nodding to his arm in a sling. "I don't know how I feel about that..." said Jax. After a situation like this Jax's bike was his solace. He could get on it and take off for a couple of hours and work everything out in his head.

"You'll be back on the bike in no time. Just give yourself some time to heal. You can spend some more time with the kid…some time with your mother. You know she will get a kick out of taking care of you. So do you feel up to telling me what exactly happened last night? Your mother and I have been trying to fill in the blanks of what we know." said Clay.

Jax laid there a minute before finally saying. "I dropped Abel off with mom last night and went over to the club...I saw Opie...he was wasted and hanging out with a couple of crow-eaters. So I decided to go and see how Tara was doing, I knew she had to be pretty bad off for her to have left Opie on the side of the road the way she did. I thought…I could cheer her up…maybe talk Opie up to her so she'd go easy on him. Anyway, I stopped by the store first and picked up her favorite ice cream and then I stopped off and got her favorite cookies and dropped by her place to check on her. She was depressed as I expected...so we hung out for awhile..." Jax ran his hand through his hair and fell silent for a moment. He knew what he did was wrong and saying it out loud made it even worse. He had betrayed a brother by going after his old lady. Sure Opie and Tara were broken up but he knew that was bullshit. He knew they probably would have reconciled in a day or two if all of this hadn't happened. Jax groaned a little and picked up the story. "One thing led to another...and...we were making lov...having sex in her bedroom." said Jax correcting himself. He figured it would be easier if he put some emotional distance to this situation. "But she got sick in the middle of it...and had to go throw up...after that she wanted a shower so I gave her some privacy...but after she had been in there awhile I got worried...I went into the bathroom and found her lying on the shower floor unconscious...I got her dressed and into the car and took off for the hospital..."

Clay listened as Jax recounted the events from the previous night. He caught Jax's slip up of nearly saying 'making love'. He felt for his step son he knew that Jax still loved Tara. However, this situation was putting everyone in an awkward position. "And that is when the accident happened." interjected Clay. "You were coming across the intersection at Davis drive and were hit by another car..." said Clay.

Jax nodded and said "Yeah...I was waiting for the light to turn green...and when it did ...I just sped off...I didn't look to see if anything was coming. I was just so focused on making it those last blocks to the hospital...I just had to get Tara here...for her...for the baby...the last thing I remember is the car flipping...after that...I don't remember anything else until I woke up this morning and saw Mom sitting over in that chair..." Jax was quiet a minute and said "If I would have just looked before I drove into that intersection...none of this would have ever happened...Tara would be okay right now..."

"You can't put all of this on your shoulders, Jax. You were in the right the other driver was in the wrong and we are going to find that cowardly son of a bitch and make sure that he pays for what happened. Someone called in the accident right after it happened. Unser got the number from the dispatch logs and Tig and Bobby are going to pay a visit to the caller today to see if they saw who hit you guys. And the doctor says that Tara is going to be today. So don't beat yourself up. Just be glad that you were there with her…she could have been there for…a long time if you had not been there last night. Opie was too busy getting drunk…he wouldn't have gone to check on her." said Clay.

"It isn't just the accident I feel bad about…" said Jax shaking his head. "I betrayed Opie in a big way. I agreed to let Tara choose…and she chose Opie. That was supposed to be the end of it…I was supposed to let them be happy together. But the minute that they had trouble I slid right back in there. He doesn't know…anything right?" asked Jax looking over at Clay. Jax needed to be able to figure out what to say to his childhood friend before Opie found out about him having sex with Tara.

Clay said "He doesn't know anything…nothing more than any of us knew anyway. Everyone figured that Tara called you to take her to the hospital. But…your mother and I were pretty sure that you had been there when she got sick. So no…Opie doesn't suspect anything on that end of things. But…when Tara first woke up…she called for you…not once…but two or three times. Opie was in there at the time…he walked out. I haven't seen him since then. He crashed in the waiting room…"

"Damn it…..Ope has to be pissed…She called for me?" asked Jax. "Was she okay?" He sat up more in the bed looking over at Clay. He suddenly became more worried about Tara.

"She was only partially awake…she was disoriented…probably scared. I was there to reassure her that everything was okay. She just drifted back off…and as far as Opie being pissed…he has some situations of his own. When Bobby told him about the accident last night he was in the middle of a threesome with a couple of crow-eaters….including the one that Tara got into a fight with at the club." said Clay. "No one is without blame in this situation. Everyone made a mistake."

"I want to get over there and see her…" said Jax. Jax didn't know what to say about the threesome it wasn't as if he had never done that. And he had cheated on Tara before and they weren't taking a break at the time.

"The doctors don't want you out of bed until they send you for some new x-rays and echo your heart. You know how your mother is when it comes to your heart. She will be on both of our asses. So let's just humor her and get a clean bill of health first."

Jax groaned and said "Alright…." He rested his head back against the pillows and didn't say anything. His mind drifted back to the previous night when he was making love with Tara. At that moment everything seemed perfect and everything seemed right.

Clay let him rest and didn't bother him. He knew that Jax had a lot he was trying to figure out. And it needed to be figured out soon for the good of Jax, Tara, and Opie and for the good of the club. Clay left out for awhile to fill Gemma in and then came back into the room taking a nap while Jax was out for his tests.

Later on….

Tara woke up around 10:00 that morning. "Jax...?" asked Tara still a little disoriented. "Jax I need you…" said Tara confused and a little scared at the moment. She looked around the room confused at first about where she was at the moment. Tara's eyes scanned the room seeing the medical equipment and realized that she was in the hospital. She wracked her brain trying to remember how she had gotten here. She remembered having sex with Jax and getting sick. Beyond that her memory was a blank at the moment. She groaned in pain as she shifted in the bed the trying to sit up.

Gemma was sitting next to Tara's bed reading the newspaper when she heard her call Jax's name Gemma hastily folded the newspaper and took off her reading glasses looking over at the bed. Off and on for the last few hours Tara had woken up every so often and called Jax's name but she hadn't woken all the way up until now. "Tara?" asked Gemma getting up and standing next to her bed. Gemma took her hand and said "I am glad to see you awake darlin. You gave all of us a damn good scare. I am going to get your doctor for you." Gemma went to let Tara's hand go but Tara had a firm grip on Gemma's hand.

"What happened?" asked Tara in a confused voice. "The last thing...I remember was taking a shower..." said Tara. She glanced at the walls that were splashed with morning sunshine. "Last night..." said Tara realizing that it was morning. She struggled to try to remember anything else but kept coming up blank. She looked to Gemma for answers. She coughed and groaned in pain.

Gemma had a seat on the bed with her. Gemma poured a cup of water for Tara and helped her drink it. Gemma said "Jax...found you passed out in your shower last night...he put you in your car to drive you to the hospital...but...on the way here a truck coming from the other direction ran a red light and crashed into the car. The car flipped and both of you were rushed here to St. Thomas. But both of you are fine...Jax has a broken arm and a concussion." Gemma decided to leave out the cardiac episode. "You have a concussion...and a few cracked ribs...but you and the baby are just fine...but the doctors need to talk to you about...something important concerning your pregnancy. I am just so glad that you are finally fully awake...and fully conscious. You and Jax were in bad shape last night when you first got to the hospital." said Gemma.

Tara said "That explains why it hurts to breathe. You said that the baby is okay though...there isn't anything wrong..?" Tara's hand went instinctively to her flat stomach and rested there protectively. She looked up at Gemma nervously trying to read her expression. "Just tell me whatever they told you...please." said Tara.

Gemma said "Dr. Forrest told us that you have some sort of complication with your placenta...they've caught it early so they can keep an eye on it...but it could become a problem later in the pregnancy...but the baby is fine and isn't in any sort of distress. I even got to see the little one on the ultrasound this morning when Dr. Forrest came in to check on you and the baby. He confirmed that you are 13 weeks pregnant." Gemma got up and went over to her purse taking out the ultrasound picture from that morning. She sat back down on Tara's bed and showed it to her.

Tara was glad that nothing else was wrong but problems with the placenta was dangerous. If it was what she was thinking later on in her pregnancy she could suffer a placenta abruption which could cause her to miscarry. But at this moment she was just going to be thankful that they were both okay. Tara asked "So Jax is okay too?" Tara stopped talking and took the picture from Gemma staring at the grainy picture. She smiled a little feeling tears wet the corner of her eyes. "My baby…" whispered Tara in awe. She was still confused about the previous night. Tara picked with the blanket and looked at Gemma. "Has Opie…been here to see me?"

Gemma nodded and said "He is fine...he convinced Juice to sneak in breakfast from the diner. And he devoured it just as quickly as it got here. He's been asking about you...he wanted to sit in here with you but he had to go for some tests and some x-rays. Opie was here last night…but…uh…you woke up and…you called out for Jax…Opie left…her couldn't handle it…he slept in the waiting room. Do you want me to go get him?"

"No…that…that is okay." said Tara softly. She was scared and didn't know what to do anymore. She loved Opie and she loved Jax. And what had been a simple decision was now complicated beyond belief.

"Now I am going to go get your doctor." Gemma kissed her forehead and then walked out of the room. Gemma walked to the nurses' station. "Could you page Dr. Forrest to room 213...Tara Knowles is awake and would like to talk to him."

The nurse nodded and said "Of course Mrs. Morrow." The nurse picked up the phone and paged the doctor.

Gemma walked to Jax's room as Dr. Forrest and the nurses went into Tara's room. She saw Clay standing outside of the room and said "Tara is finally awake….I am exhausted Clay…."

Clay wrapped his arms around Gemma and kissed her forehead. "How is the doc doing? Jax is anxious to get in there to see her...he will be even more so now that she is awake..." said Clay shaking his head.

Gemma said "She is okay...she is scared and confused and doesn't remember anything about how she got to the hospital. She wants to see Jax too but I told her that he was out for tests right now...so how is Jax doing with everything that happened? Is he okay? Does he know about Opie? "

Clay nodded and said "Yeah, I asked him about last night and he told me everything...the two of them had sex together...last night...he supposedly went over there to check on her but...it ended up being more than that. He's feeling pretty low about all of it...betraying Opie, the car accident, he feels like Tara was hurt because of him. He's not in a good place right now I can tell you that much."

Gemma shook her head. "I thought we had put all of this to rest. Tara chose Opie and that should have been the end of it...I was hoping that was going to be the end of it but I guess in a way I knew that it wasn't going to be. Jax loves Tara...Tara loves Jax...Opie loves Tara...Tara loves Opie...and Jax and Opie love each other too. It was madness to think that they could sort themselves out..."

"You did what you thought was best baby. You wanted everyone to be happy and to be okay with the choices that were made. But there is a difference between what happened between you, me, and John. You were married to John...and that offered a barrier that these three don't have. And the door was open when Opie and Tara broke up it was bound to happen at some point." said Clay.

"So what do we do now? How do we fix this before...it rips all three of them to pieces?" asked Gemma. "The first words out of Tara's mouth…were I need Jax…if that doesn't tell you the depth of the situation we are in I don't know what does…"

"We don't...we stay out of it until it spills over into the club and then I will handle it. But until then...we've just got to let them figure this out for themselves...we can't fix this for them. I know that you hate seeing Jax in pain or Tara or Opie and that you want to make this better...but you can't." said Clay. "He is going to want to see Tara as soon as the doctors are done with her. I am going to go find a nurse and see about getting a wheelchair for him."

Gemma sighed and then walked into Jax's room. "How are you feeling baby?" asked Gemma walking over to his bed. She had a seat in the chair next to his bed.

"I am alright...the heart echo went good...everything looks fine with my heart so you don't have to worry about that. So uh...how is Tara doing? Has she woken up yet?" asked Jax.

Gemma said "I am always going to worry about you. You are my baby and that is my job. Yes, Tara woke up not long ago. The doctors are in with her now...but she is pretty eager to see you...you were the first person she asked for when she woke up. Clay is gone to get a wheelchair for you..."

"I don't need a wheelchair." said Jax swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Jax stood up and grabbed the back of his gown and walked toward the door.

"Jackson Teller...you can wait a couple of minutes until Clay comes back with a wheelchair for you. "said Gemma. But she knew it was a lost cause. Jax had the determined look on his face and wasn't about to stop now.

Jax just walked out of the room and walked into the room next door as the doctors and nurses were leaving the room. Jax walked over to Tara's bed. "Hey…"

Tara looked up hearing Jax's voice. "Jax…." She smiled tiredly seeing his face. She felt better now that Jax was there. She sat up in the bed a little more and propped another pillow behind her.

"You don't have to sit up for me…lay still I don't want you hurting yourself." said Jax concerned. "How are you feeling?" He had a seat on her bed. He gave her a peck on the lips not daring to give her a full on kiss.

"My head hurts….really bad right now. But other than that I am okay…..are you okay? I am sorry about your arm." said Tara. She kissed him on the lips.

"Yeah, I am fine now that you are awake again. I am sorry for everything that happened last night…I…I took advantage of you…possibly hurt you…and then got you into a car accident. I'm so sorry Tara." said Jax taking her hand and kissing it.

"You did not take advantage of me. You offered to leave and I asked you to stay. I kissed you when you kissed me. You weren't leading some poor little lamb to slaughter. I wanted to be with you…I needed you. The two of us making love last night is not what caused the problem with my placenta…you saved the baby…and you saved me…if I would have laid there for hours I could have lost too much blood and went into shock….and might have died or at least lost the baby. You were a hero Jax…my hero. This is who you helped save." said Tara handing him the ultrasound picture.

Jax looked at the picture with a smile. "This is your baby…? He looks like you." joked Jax and smirked at her.

She laughed and said "It could be a she…I think I'd really like a daughter. But as long as the baby is healthy I will be thrilled…thank you for saving us."

"I will always save you….I love you. And I love…any part of you…which includes the baby you are carrying." said Jax with emotion in his voice. Jax gently placed his hand on her stomach. It was a tough realization for him. Jax had always imagined that Tara would have his baby and yet here she was pregnant with Opie's baby.

"I love you too Jax…." said Tara looking into his eyes. She put her hand over his. She didn't know what to do but she knew that she had this living growing inside of her that was depending on her to make the right decision. This was no longer just about what made her happy and what she needed it. This was about what would be best for her baby...

"What are we going to do babe?" asked Jax. He leaned in and rested his forehead on her forehead. "What the hell are we going to go?' asked Jax quietly. "We've dug ourselves a good hole this time…you are Opie's old lady…this…we…can't happen."

"I don't know anymore….last night reminded me of all the wonderful things that I love about you. It reminded me of the bond…the connection that you and I share…that we will always share. Being with you felt…so right and I am not just talking about having sex with you…but everything just felt right." said Tara. "Lay with me for a minute….please." asked Tara in a quiet voice. "When I woke up…all I could think of was you…I needed you…I was scared and I needed you."

Jax looked into her eyes and couldn't resist the request. In fact more than anything he wanted to hold this woman in his arms. Jax got into the bed with some effort and wrapped his good arm around her pulling her in against him gently making sure that he didn't hurt her. "Well, I am here…and I will always be here Tara. Whether we are together or not…Opie loves you…he's just…spun out over everything right now….and I love you too."

Tara laid her head on his chest and cuddled with him. She didn't know what she was doing anymore. She had been so sure that Opie was the one for her…but at this moment…she needed Jax. But she knew that she still loved Opie deeply. But was it possible to love two men at the same time?


	25. Chapter 25

Tig and Juice walked up to Jax's room. "Stay out here and make sure no one walks in while we are discussing things." Tig walked into Jax's room looking for Clay and spotted him sitting in a chair looking half asleep. He saw that the bed was empty. "Clay...where's the kid and Gemma?" asked Tig closing the room door behind him leaving Juice outside. Tig walked over to the bed and had a seat.

"Ah...he went over to see Tara an hour ago and he hasn't been back yet. I've wanted to go over there but you never know what the hell they are in there talking about. Gemma went home to change clothes. I am glad or she would be in there right now playing referee." said Clay. "Where the hell is Opie? I haven't seen him all morning." said Clay.

"Or doing." added Tig laughing. He was always a sick bastard and he rather liked that about himself. "Last I knew was that Opie had gone home to get a shower. Piney and Mary were supposed to be back with the kids this morning. I was coming by because Bobby and I talked to the person who called in the 911 call. She was pretty nervous about saying anything but...I reassured her." He smirked after that statement.

"I am sure that you did...I don't need any details about how you reassured her. I just want to know what you found out." said Clay shaking his head. Clay flexed his tired hands.

"She saw the accident as it was happening. She was locking up the coffee shop and about to head home when she saw the truck hit Tara's car. The driver got out and looked at the car and then got back into the truck driving off. But she got a good look at the driver and the truck...it was that prick Darby. And there was no way he didn't know it was Jax….she said that he squatted down to get a look into the driver's side window….he had to have seen the kid. Probably took off when he realized it was Jax." said Tig.

Clay said "That son of a bitch...you find him. You toss every spot from here to Lodi if you have to and you bring him to me. If had been just some law abiding citizen I might have just shaken them down. But…Darby…he's pissed me off for the last time."

"Are you sure? I mean because I can take care of Darby myself...I've wanted to get rid of him since he worked with the Mayans to hit our gun warehouse. I still said we should have killed the white power prick right then." said Tig. But then Tig's solution was always blood.

"He almost killed my son and Tara and left them there in the middle of the road. I am going to take care of him myself. Find him. I am sure he's hiding out after what happened. If he is smart he left town but then no one has ever accused Darby of being smart. You put the word out…Darby is a dead man." said Clay.

Tig nodded and said "We are going to find him Clay. I am going to go catch up with Bobby. We'll put feelers out and see what we can find on Darby. So Jax and Tara…they both okay?"

Clay nodded and said "Yeah…they will both be fine. They just need some time to recover. And since both of them need to be looked after for a few days they will both be staying at my house."

"Shit…what is Opie going to say about that?" asked Tig quirking an eyebrow at Clay. He knew that the shit was about to hit the fan in a very big way.

Clay said "What is he going to say? Tara doesn't have any family here in town and she needs to be on bed rest for about a week or maybe more. You know Gemma isn't going to let her be at home by herself. Jax will only be there for a few days…all of this is going to come to a head."

Tig shook his head and said "The crown is heavy." It was times like these that Tig knew he wasn't fit to be president.

Clay chuckled and said "This is more about being a father than anything else. I mean Jax is my son…somehow all of this has to come out right for everyone…"

Meanwhile…..

Jax and Tara really didn't know what to say to one another so instead they just laid together in her hospital bed. Jax's hand was resting Tara's stomach and Tara's hand was resting on top of his hand. They were both exhausted so eventually they both drifted off to sleep to the rhythmic sounds of the fetal monitor.

Opie had gone home and got a shower and changed clothes. He came back to the hospital ready to see Tara now. He was ready to talk to her. Opie realized that he had overreacted to Tara calling for Jax. He walked to her room and opened the door. He walked into the room quietly and stopped seeing Jax and Tara in the bed together. Opie slammed the door closed behind him. He didn't know who to be madder with at the moment. But his eyes moved to Jax's hand laying on Tara's stomach and he decided Jax would be the target of his rage. Jax wasn't just trying to move in on his woman…Jax was trying to move in on his family.

The noise startled Tara out of her sleep and made her jump. She immediately cried out in pain the sudden movement causing her to jostle her injured ribs. Her eyes shot to the door and she saw Opie standing there. His angry glare seeming to burn into her. "Opie...please calm down…we broke up…" said Tara trying to think of a way to explain the current predicament but the words seemed to evade her.

"Shut up." said Opie which was out of character for him. But it wasn't Tara he was angry with at the moment. "I am sorry Tara…I didn't mean that…just stay out of this please." His gaze moved to Jax. "I trusted you and here you are with my old lady. The minute we had a problem...you were all over her. I've heard the guys whispering today. Everyone thinks you were fucking her last night which is why you were the one to bring her to the hospital and not me. And that sounds like you...a snake...behind my back. Is it true?"

Jax got out of the bed a little too quickly and groaned. He said "You need to calm down...and don't talk to Tara that way. She's been through enough...she almost lost your kid last night and you were where...well I am not going to say where because I am not going to hurt her like that. Don't play the victim Ope there is enough blame here to go around. We all made mistakes last night...yes I had sex with Tara last night and I am sorry. It shouldn't have happened…but it did."

Opie said "I trusted you...you said that you would back off and the minute my back was turned you slept with my old lady. I've always known you were a selfish son of a bitch Jax. But I never thought you would go this far. You are supposed be my brother...all of that bullshit about being happy for me? And here you are with her!"

"I was happy for you...I am happy for you...I don't know what happened...I don't know what I was thinking...one thing led to another and...I knew what I was doing was wrong...but...I love her...and you know that Opie. You know that I am still in love with her and probably always will be...even if I move on...she's going to be the standard that I hold every other woman up to. And you are right I am here with her this morning because once again…where were you when she needed comfort?" said Jax.

"I trusted you…I trusted you to be my friend and stay away from her. You broke the rules." said Opie disillusioned and more importantly he was hurting. "My head was all messed up but I was going to make things right with her. I was going to be there for her and my kid. And I left because when she woke up for a minute…the first word out of her mouth was Jax…not Opie…Jax."

"You two were broken up Opie…if I am guilty…then so are you. You started seeing her when you knew I still wanted to get back with her…."said Jax staring Opie down. "And if you were going to be there for her and your kid where were you last night?" asked Jax pointedly.

Opie glared at him and rushed Jax tossing him against the wall. Opie punched Jax in the face wanting to shut him up before he could say anything about his threesome with Sheila and Natalie the previous night.

Jax was at a disadvantage because he was down to one good arm. But Jax was always good at fighting dirty. He grabbed the telephone that was sitting next to Tara's bed and hit Opie over the head with it a couple of times. The blows from the phone stunned Opie and gave Jax the advantage. He punched Opie in the face a couple of times.

"Stop fighting! Both of you! Stop it you stupid bastards!" yelled Tara but both men ignored her. Tara was beside herself. Her blood pressure soared watching the two men she was in love with fight. She picked up the water pitcher from the table next to her bed and threw it hitting Opie in the head with it and spilling water on the floor in the process. Tara grabbed the vase of flowers next to her bed and picked it up about to throw it when the door opened.

Clay and Tig were next door and heard the commotion. The two men rushed into the room. Tig grabbed Opie and pulled him away from Jax. Tig held onto Opie but Opie fought him the entire time.

Clay held Jax back and said "Cool it! Both of you settle down now or I am going to start kicking some asses. What the fuck is wrong with both of you? Jax you already have a broken arm…you looking to get another one?"

"Opie wants to fight I am not going to back down from a fight broke arm or not. And for the record I was kicking his ass." said Jax simply. His eyes burned with fury as he stared at Opie ready to go again if Clay would just let him go.

Gemma walked into the room having just come from Tara's house. She was carrying a duffel bag of clothes. Gemma was wearing a black leather skirt and a matching leather jacket with a red lace long sleeve button up blouse. "Tara I….." said trailed off surveying the scene in front of her. Clay was over by the back of the room near the window holding Jax back. Tig was on the other side of the room near the door holding Opie back. Tara was in her hospital bed looking tense with tears in her eyes she was still gripping the vase in her trembling hand. Gemma said "Get out…"

"Mom….you need to stay out of this right now….I know you mean well… but the three of us need to take care of this…" said Jax.

"Jax is right…this is between us and we really don't need any outside interference in this situation." said Opie. "We need to handle this…" said Opie being respectful but getting his point across.

"You two are so busy fighting….look at what you are doing to her. She was fine when I left her earlier and now she is a mess…she doesn't need the stress. Get out! All of you. I understand that one or both of you need to talk to Tara but it isn't going to happen right now and not like this. Tara is getting dressed and being released from the hospital…you two can talk to her when you know how to act like you are 30-something…and not ten years old. But let me tell you this…both of you need to get your shit together. She isn't a toy for the two of you to play tug of war over. Now get out…" said Gemma. Her stance let them know that she really was done with the conversation. Gemma walked over and handed Tara some Kleenex to dry her eyes.

Jax looked over at Tara for a moment and saw the state that she was in and got a sinking feeling in his stomach. Gemma was right the two of them were so busy fighting they weren't paying attention to how upset they were getting Tara. Jax said "I am sorry Tara….I hope you start feeling better." He looked to Clay. "You can let me go…the hospital room brawl is over…at least on my end of things."

Opie looked at Tara and saw the look on her face and the tears running down her face. He shook his head and said "You can let me go too Tig…I am done with this…I'm done with him."

Clay nodded and said "Alright …." Clay let Jax go and shook his head. He was getting too old to be breaking up fights between men half his age. He walked over to Gemma and kissed her. "You look beautiful by the way." He playfully slapped her on the ass and walked out of the room.

Tig let Opie go as well but stuck around in case the two men didn't make good on their words. Although it would be tempting fate from the look on Gemma's face.

Jax walked over to Tara's bed and took the vase from her hand and set it on the table. He picked up her hand. He kissed her hand and said "I am sorry Tara, things just sort of got out of hand…." He kissed the top of her head. "I will see you later on. I love you kid…" said Jax. Jax walked over to Gemma kissing her cheek.

"It's okay Jax…I love you too…I'll see you later." said Tara. She dried her eyes with the Kleenex. Her gaze shifted to Opie. She felt mildly bad for hitting him in the head with the plastic water pitcher.

Jax walked out of the room after staring down Opie. He didn't even bother to close the back of his gown as if he was telling Opie to kiss his ass.

Opie felt his blood boiling watching Jax say goodbye to Tara. He walked over to Tara's bed once Jax was out of the room and said "I wasn't thinking…I should have fought with Jax…somewhere else. I am glad that you are okay…and I am glad that **our **baby is okay." He emphasized 'our' to let her know that he wasn't giving up on her or their baby. He kissed her softly and said "I love you. I'll see you later on…at your place?"

Tara said "I love you too Opie…I'm not going home…I have to be on bed rest for a week…maybe longer. Gemma and Clay are going to let me stay with them during that time…I am sorry for hitting you with the water pitcher."

Opie said "Well…I'll stop by there…Pops and mom brought the kids home this morning…they want to see you too…I'll call and check in with Gemma later to see what time would be a good time to come by. It is okay…truth be told I was so pissed…I didn't feel it."Opie walked out of the room.

Tig walked over to the bed and said "You had all of the guys here worried about you last night. We are all glad that you are awake and talking. If you need anything sweetheart just let me know." Tig squeezed her hand.

Tara said "Thank you Tig…" She was grateful to have people that cared about her. She closed her eyes for a minute. She felt exhausted all over again. And even with all of the fighting that had just taken place she couldn't help but want to have Jax come back and hold her. She wrung her hands slightly in a sort of self-soothing motion.

Gemma looked at Tig and said "Can you give us some privacy Tig? I think me and the good doctor need to have a talk and I need to help her get ready to get out of here."

Tig nodded and said "Sure Gemma. I am going to go and talk to Clay…about the accident. Let me know if the two of you need anything. I will be right next door."

Gemma said "Did you guys find out who hit them or who robbed Jax's house?"

Tig didn't know if Clay wanted Gemma to know just yet. "Uh…yeah we got some leads….nothing solid yet….I am sure we will know by the end of the day. I'll see you later Gemma." Tig went to open the door.

Gemma's eyes narrowed and she walked and put her hand on the door closing it. "You are lying to me Tigger…who did this?" asked Gemma looking at him intently.

"I…you should talk to Clay…" said Tig slipping out of the door to avoid getting caught up in Gemma's web.

Gemma looked at Tara and said "Are you okay darlin?" Gemma set the duffel bag on Tara's lap. "I packed a couple outfits in this bag. I wasn't sure what you'd want to wear. I packed a suitcase and a bag for you as well. It is in my car. So all we have to do when we leave here is go to my house and get you settled into the guest room."

Tara finished drying her eyes and said "I am so sorry Gemma. I know you went out on a limb for me…letting me pick who I wanted to be with…and then…I screwed up like this. I'm sorry…I never meant for any of this to happen. I know saying that doesn't make it any better. Love used to be easy…it should be easy."

"Well, you did sort of fuck everything up." said Gemma jokingly. "But that is what youth is for baby girl. If love was easy…every marriage would last forever. And every marriage would be perfect…but love isn't easy. It is messy…but when you are with the right one…it makes it all worth it. Clay might get on my damn nerves…but I love the hell out of that man and he loves me." said Gemma.

"How did you do it…? How did you choose between John and Clay…and stick with your choice?" asked Tara seriously. She picked with invisible lint on her blanket thinking everything over in her head. "I was so sure that I wanted to be with Opie…but the minute things went bad…I wanted Jax…I wanted to run right into his arms…and I guess I did. And now my head is all messed up because I think maybe I made the wrong choice. They both said that they loved me before they left this room…and I said it back to them. And I meant it when I said that loved both of them. And I didn't mean it any differently from one to the other. I love both of them Gemma…and it is tearing me up inside." said Tara crying.

Gemma sat on the bed with her and gently hugged her. "Oh baby…I know it hurts… I was married to John…and he was my first real love…I adored that man more than anything in this world. And when I was with John…nothing made me happier. He loved me and understood me on a level that I don't think anyone else ever did. And I had a child with him, Jax. Thomas hadn't been born yet. It made it easier to make that hard choice. I wasn't just choosing for me…I was choosing for Jax too. And I was choosing for the club that I loved…I knew that if I chose Clay…that it would turn things upside down. Clay would have left the mother charter and went somewhere else…or worse yet went Nomad...and I didn't want that. The mother charter has to have good leadership…what happens here sets the tone for the other charters. And John and I had some bad times…some very bad times. He pulled away from me after Thomas died and I was hurting and…my love for Clay was still there…and I knew Clay still loved me too…but…I didn't cross that line because I knew what it would do to the two of them and to the club…and ultimately to me too…I knew that it would split me in half…and I didn't want that either. I knew I had to make the hard choice to protect them from themselves. Men…they have pride and when they love a woman…they will fight to the death for her…even if she doesn't really want him. Jax and Opie are the future of this club darlin….they've got to get right with one another…but they can't do it on their own…they need you."

"Jax and Opie have the fighting to the death thing down to an art…it scares me when I see them like that. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if they ever seriously hurt one another because of me. Are you saying that I should choose Opie since I am pregnant with his baby?" asked Tara looking to Gemma. "I would never do anything to hurt the club Gemma…you have to know that. I started off not understanding what the club was really about…but now I love it…it used to be I loved it because Jax did…but now I love it…because I love the guys that are part of it…every one of them." Tara knew that Gemma was right. There was little doubt in anyone's mind that Jax would be president when Clay finally stepped down and Opie was the natural choice for his VP. Tara was linked to the club no matter what she wanted. She had known these two men since they were children. And she knew that Jax being president and Opie being VP was all either of them had ever really wanted. And despite herself the more she understood the club the more she loved the club. The more she loved the family that it provided for all of the guys. The more she patched up these bikers the more she realized that she cared about all of them like family. She loved them like her own family.

"Well, the people that we love the most…are the ones that it is the easiest to hurt…and that hurt runs deep. Jax is hurt that Opie started seeing you. And Opie is hurt that Jax was with you last night….and when men are hurt…well you see the result. I can't tell you who to choose Tara. No one can tell you that except for yourself. But this isn't about Jax and this isn't about Opie. This is about you and the baby. You take your time and figure out what you really want. And if they don't want to wait…then they don't love you as much as they claim that they do." said Gemma.

Tara nodded and said "Thank you for letting me come and stay with you and Clay. I don't really want to be in the house by myself right now…I am scared of losing consciousness again…I don't have any family nearby to come and take care of me. I don't remember much about the times I woke up…but I do remember Clay holding my hand and talking to me at one point."

"You do have family…you've got me and Clay. He was right here with you until we switched places this morning. And as much as they are fighting…you've got Jax and Opie. They both love the hell out of you…they'd do anything for you. Tig and the rest of the guys care about you too." said Gemma. "Go on and get dressed I am going to go and talk to Clay…I want to know what Tig was trying to hide from me." said Gemma.

Tara smiled and said "Okay Gemma…"

Gemma walked out of the room closing the door behind her. Gemma walked over to Jax's room.

Juice was standing outside of the door. "Uh…they are in there talking…Clay said I shouldn't let anyone in…"

Gemma rolled her eyes and said "I will be sure to tell Clay that you vigorously attempted to keep me out of the room."

Tig said "Bobby said Jax's house was ransacked…tore the place up good. Not sure what he was looking for. I don't believe in coincidences. I think he is an opportunist and robbed the place after he heard Jax was in the hospital. We've got to keep Gemma away from Jax's house if we are going to keep her from this." Everyone stopped talking when the door swung up.

Gemma walked into the room and said "Well, don't stop on my account….so does anyone want to tell me what is going on? Oh…Juice vigorously tried to keep me out of the room but I was just too much for him." Gemma walked over and kissed Jax's cheek. "What the hell is wrong with you fighting with a broken arm? Sometimes I wonder if I dropped you on your head as a baby."

Jax laughed and said "You are the one that taught me to be a fighter." He said "I am fine Ma. Is Tara okay?"

"She is shaken up but she is okay…" said Gemma. Gemma turned her attention to Clay.

Clay laughed softly. "Yes, I am sure Juice really put up a fight. This is club business Gemma…" Clay got up and walked over to her and said "Whatever is going on I am going to handle it…you just worry about taking care of Tara…" He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly.

Gemma said "He's my son…and I want to know who left him and Tara in the middle of the street to die…you think that isn't any of my business? Or maybe you weren't going to tell me that someone robbed his house…."

"The club is going to take care of it…I don't need you going half cocked….I will take care of it. And once it is taken care of…I will let you know everything. I always do….don't I?" said Clay.

Gemma walked out of the room slamming the door behind her.

Jax chuckled and said "She is pissed…." Jax laughed more and laid his head back on the pillow.

Clay shook his head. "Your mother and her temper. Last thing I need is for her to go looking for Darby on her own. The less she knows…the better for right now. Hopefully, taking care of Tara will keep her out of trouble…but you know Gemma…when she gets pissed she acts first and thinks later."

Jax said "You married her…" Jax laughed and groaned. "Bet you regret that shit." said Jax laughing.

Clay laughed and said "Nah, I love the woman. Crazy and all…and you shouldn't be laughing. You are going to get her special brand of love while you are stuck at our house recovering."

"Shit…don't remind me…I think I will take my chances at home." said Jax laughing.

"Like Gemma is going to go for that. Don't cause me anymore trouble…just stay a couple of days at the house to appease her." said Clay looking at Jax.

Gemma went ti the nurses station to get a nurse to bring a wheelchair and then she headed back to Tara's room. Gemma was furious at Clay for keeping her in the dark. But she put it aside when she saw Tara crying. "What is wrong?" asked Gemma walking over to her bed.

Tara had looked through the duffel bag and selected black summer dress with a pink paisley print on the dress and had gotten dressed. She said "All of the moving is making my ribs hurt that is all..." She dried her eyes and smiled at her. "I am sorry I didn't mean to make you worry. I am dressed and ready to go."

Gemma said "Okay...well we will get you to my house and get you to bed so that you can rest. The nurse is on her way now with your wheelchair."

The nurse walked into the room and helped Tara into the wheelchair. They headed out of the hospital after Gemma collected Tara's duffel bag as well as the flowers that she had bought for Tara.

Gemma pulled her car around and helped Tara into the car. Gemma left the hospital and headed home with Tara in tow.


	26. Chapter 26

Jax was released from the hospital a couple hours later. Bobby took him by his house first so he could see the damage. Jax stood there and shook his head. "Look at this shit? Is Darby using his own product?" asked Jax. Jax walked through his ransacked house and went to his bedroom and packed a bag for a couple of days to take over to Clay and Gemma's house. He said "Looks like Darby hit my gun stash while he was here…took some tvs and shit like that. He missed the money…but then I am guessing he was in a hurry when he hit my place last night. I am ready to get out of here Bobby." Jax walked back out to the car and climbed in. Jax lit a cigarette and puffed on it a bit as he got settled in the car.

Bobby got into the car and said "Darby is laying low but he won't be able to do that for a long time. When he makes contact with his people we will grab him. They are still making their product on the outskirts of town. We are going to have people looking out for him. We've been keeping it quiet so far so that Darby doesn't try to make a run for it. Right now he is probably just trying to feel it out and see if we know he is the responsible party. You just worry about healing." Bobby drove toward Clay and Gemma's house. He looked over at Jax periodically.

Jax saw Bobby looking at him. "What do you have to say Bobby? Go ahead and say it….I know everyone and their mother has and opinion about what is going on right now. I respect you …so I am willing to listen to what you have to say." Jax leaned back against the seat and waited to hear what Bobby had to say. Bobby was like the conscious of the club sometimes. He was calm and could usually see all the sides of a situation. Jax respected his opinion and figured it couldn't hurt to hear him out.

Bobby said "You and Opie…how do you see that situation playing out? All of the eyes in the club are on the two of you…wondering what the hell is going on….going after a member's old lady…against the rules and both of you know it…but because you two are boyhood friends…no one has gotten into the fray…this goes beyond the club…but it is spilling over into the club."

"If I knew Bobby…we wouldn't be in this situation. I love Tara…and if she is interested in being with me again…I am not about to back off…not even for someone I love like my own blood. I don't know what that means for me and Opie." said Jax shrugging. "But I've got a chance…I am going to take it…if that means I go Nomad for awhile to keep the peace in the club…then I will do that. Tara is worth it…I've screwed up in the past if I get another chance… I will not pass it up."

"Even with her being pregnant with Ope's kid? You prepared to be daddy to his kid if the two of you end up together?" asked Bobby. Bobby was trying to feel out just how serious Jax was about this whole situation but from what Jax was saying Bobby saw a long and messy fight ahead for Jax and Opie and that was bad for the club.

He chuckled and said "Yeah, I ain't got a problem with that. Like I told her…this baby is half her…I can't help but love it…I mean las night when I found her unconscious in the shower…it wasn't just her I was worried about. My thoughts went to the baby too. And despite the situation with me and Opie…this kid is half him too. And I love my brother. I could be a father to this baby just as easily as I am with Abel, just as easily as Tara loved and took care of Abel. That isn't even and issue for me. I mean I am not going to try to take Ope's place in his kid's life or nothing. But if he is still acting like a little bitch like he was yesterday…then damn right I will step up and be daddy."

Bobby just shook his head. This situation was going to get a lot worse before it got any better. He pulled up at the house and said "I'll carry your bag in for you. Clay wanted me to let Gemma know that he'd be busy at the club for awhile. He figured she'd be spending her day at home since you and Tara were going to be there and would probably need her."

Jax laughed and said "I can carry my own bag. And don't worry about mom. I'll tell her what Clay said. I have better luck in not telling her anything else. I've had years of successfully dodging her questions. Thanks for the ride Bobby." Jax got out of the car and grabbed his bag.

Gemma opened the door having heard the vehicle pull up. She smiled and said "Hi baby. I was wondering when the hell you were going to get here. I was tempted to just come back to the hospital to pick you up myself. But I didn't want to leave Tara here by herself. Neeta is picking up a few things at the store for me. I've got your old room ready for you. It is good to have you home. Although I know by the end of the week your rooms will smell like Fritos, marijuana, and dirty socks and I will be ready for you to leave again." She kissed his cheek.

Jax chuckled and said "You are loving this aren't you? I am going to go and get settled in. I'll come back to see you and the kid in a minute." Jax walked into the house and headed up to his bedroom. He tossed his bag on the bed and unpacked his clothes putting them in his old dresser. Everything took him twice as long because he only had one arm. After he put everything away he had a seat on his bed and lit up a joint. He wanted to relax. After a couple of puffs he chuckled realizing he was already on pain medication. After he was more relaxed Jax walked back to the living room. Jax had a seat on the couch. He heard the tell-tale sounds of Abel crawling and soon enough he saw his son's smiling face at his feet. Jax chuckled and lifted Abel up and said "Hi little man. I missed you." He kissed the top of his head. "Have you been having funny with granny?" asked Jax tickling his stomach.

Gemma walked into the room and said "As you see Abel has been on the move today. He loves exploring Grandma and Grandpa's house. So many places for him to get lost…so many things for him to pull down off of tables. And so many things for him to stuff into his little mouth. I swear he reminds me of you more every day." Gemma had a seat next to Jax on the couch. "You reek of weed. How are you doing sweetheart…I mean how are you really doing?" asked Gemma.

Jax laughed and said "Yeah…your house has a lot more crap in it than my place. A lot more rooms than he is used to as well. I am…okay. Bobby asked me what I thought the outcome of all of this would be. I don't know…I don't know what the outcome is…I guess it comes down to what Tara wants. I mean if she really wants to be with Ope I am not going to stand in her way…I want her to be happy even if that means she isn't with me. I don't think Opie is going to be as understanding though if she decides that it is me that she wants be with. You got any ideas on which way she is leaning on the issue?"

Gemma said "I don't know…right now she is in the middle and she feels guilty…I think she has an idea but she is scared of making a wrong choice…the two of you fighting in her hospital room this morning certainly didn't help her come to a decision….she loves both of you. That is about as much as I can tell you right now. She doesn't want to blow up your friendship…she doesn't want to be caught in the middle…and she doesn't want to hurt the club."

"I didn't start the fight…." said Jax looking at Gemma. "But I didn't try to stop it either. I was pissed at him for coming at me like that…and I guess if I am honest…I am still angry at him for hooking up with Tara to begin with. If anyone should know…Opie should know that I am always going to love Tara. Nothing is going to change that…no matter how long we are apart. I've made a lot of mistakes but I always thought I would make it back to Tara…we always do…I need to go talk to her…" said Jax.

Gemma nodded and said "Mmmhmmm…if you upset her you have my word that you will be staying at the club and Sack can take care of you." She took Abel from him. "We should go have a bottle kiddo." said Gemma to Abel.

Jax got up and walked to the guestroom. He stood there for a moment and then knocked on the door. "Tara?" asked Jax leaning against the bedroom door waiting for her to say something. He didn't want to be too loud in case she was taking a nap.

Tara was laying in the bed watching television and filling out some paperwork for the hospital when she heard Jax's voice on the other side of the door. She didn't even realize it but she perked up as soon as she heard his voice. "Come in…" said Tara. She shifted in the bed some putting another pillow behind her back to prop herself up against the headboard. She picked up the remote and turned off the TV.

Jax walked into the bedroom closing the door behind him. "How are you feeling Tara?" asked Jax. He walked over to the bed and had a seat next to her. "What is this?" asked Jax looking at the paperwork on her lap. He placed a kiss on her temple.

"I am doing alright. I took a nap…I am feeling tired though I will probably take another nap again soon. Oh this is from the hospital. I need to fill these out for the administrator. I am taking off two weeks for medical leave. If I have to take more time off after that I will have to use the vacation time I have saved up. How is your arm doing?" asked Tara concerned for him. She felt bad that he had gotten into an accident rushing her to the hospital.

"It is good…they have me on Loratabs so I am not feeling any pain. So you've got to be on bed rest for awhile huh…?" asked Jax looking at Tara. "Well, there is one thing you have to know about my mom. When she decides that she loves you…she will dote on you if you need anything. You will be in good hands here."

"I have to be on bed rest for a little while. At least a week and then I will go back in for a check up and see how everything is going. I am trying to be optimistic. Being a doctor I know the risks and I know there is very good chance that this pregnancy will turn out just fine. But the irrational mother in me is petrified that something is going to happen to this baby. And I just don't know if I will be able to make it through that sort of thing. I want this baby so much…it is strange I hadn't even really thought about having children…I mean not seriously. I knew that I wanted children in the future…but…now that I am pregnant…I can't think of anything I want more than to hold this baby in my arms." said Tara. She looked at him sitting on the edge of the bed. "You know that you can just get into the bed with me…you don't have to sit on the edge like that." said Tara wondering if he just didn't want to.

Jax kissed her cheek and got up. He walked to the door and locked. "I think we both could do without unannounced visitors walking into the room." said Jax. He kicked off his shoes and took off his cut before getting under the covers with Tara. "I know that you are worried but…I don't know…I think with everything that happened last night…it just proves that you and the kid are survivors…I think both of you are going to come out of this just fine." He reached over and lightly rubbed her stomach. "So 13 weeks….when will you start to feel the baby move and kick and all of that? I missed out on most of that stuff with Wendy. She was angry with me for breaking up with her…she wouldn't take my calls or anything like that…"

Tara nodded and said "How true…" She put away the paperwork not in the mood to finish filling it out anyway. She snuggled down in the bed with Jax and cuddled with him. "I am glad that you came in here…I was wondering if I would see you or if you would keep your distance after what happened with Opie. Well, I should start feeling movement very soon…but kicking won't be for another couple of weeks. I have to say that I am excited. I want to do all of those first time mommy things...I've already had the urge to shop. This baby is going to have so much love from me...that even if he or she doesn't have a father...they are still going to be loved."

Jax gently tilted her head upward so that she was looking at him. "No one or nothing is going to keep me away from you unless you tell me that you need space. Other than that I will be right here. I love you Tara Knowles…" said Jax kissing her softly. "Hey...even if Opie isn't around and you decide you don't want to be with me...your baby will have me to look after him or her. If it is a boy I can teach him all of my bad habits...and it is a girl I can scare all of the boys away with my shotgun."

Tara laughed softly. There was just something about hearing him say he would be there that made her believe him. She wanted him to be there...she knew that if Opie wasn't around...she would need Jax. She didn't want to think about that she only wanted to think about happy thoughts and about how lucky that she was pregnant. She really wanted this baby more than anything else. That was why Opie's reaction had hurt her so deeply. The man she was in love with had no desire to love the child he had helped create. Thinking about it even now broke her heart in two.

Jax and Tara laid in the bed together just resting. Both of them were exhausted and on medication that made them tired. Tara's head was resting on Jax's chest and her eyes were closed but she wasn't sleeping. She had a million different things running through her mind. She wanted to talk about things but she didn't know if this was the time. Right now she was enjoying being close to Jax.

"You know that I love you right...?" asked Jax breaking the silence in the bedroom. He looked down at her face. His hand gently caressed her back not wanting to upset her but he also knew that saying nothing at all wasn't getting them any closer to a solution in their situation. He kissed the top of her head and said "I always have...even when I haven't always done a good job of showing that to you. As bad as things were between us when we broke up...I never stopped loving you...I never stopped needing you. And it was hard for me to step aside when you chose Opie because…when I think about the person I want to…be with when I am old and can't ride anymore…your face is the only one I see. I want to share my life with you…no matter how good or bad it might be. I want that sort of love that my mom and dad had together…"

Tara was quiet listening to Jax talk. She could hear the honesty in his voice. She could see the love he had for her in his eyes. "I love you so much Jax...and I always have. And I believe that you love me...I believe that with all of my heart...with ever breath that I breathe...and falling into your arms is so easy because I know that you love me and that you will take care of me...no matter what has gone on between us...or how long I've been away. Like the night that Kohn died...it never occurred to me to call anyone else...you were the first person to cross my mind because I feel safest with you. I know you will protect me...I know that you love me. But as wonderful as you are...and as much as I want to throw my arms around you right now and tell you how much you mean to me and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you...I can't just forget what you did...I can't just forget that...you cheated on me and broke my heart. We didn't break up because the love wasn't there...we broke up because I couldn't trust you anymore. And truth be told I still don't know that I can. I never even understood why you did...what you did. I thought everything was going well. I loved being with you and helping raise Abel. We were a great little family…and then one night you don't come home…and one night turns into two…and I find out you've been screwing a croweater you had met on one of the road trips…Kimber…."

Jax was speechless for a moment. He hadn't expected to Tara to dive into things so fully right off the bat but he knew that being honest was better than sugar coating the situation. There was a lot at stake...too much at stake to play games. Jax sat up some so that he could look into her eyes. "You are right...I screwed up when I cheated on you with Kimber. And...I was never altogether honest with myself about why until yesterday when you and Opie got into that fight. When I was with him on the car ride back into town...while I was listening to him...I heard myself in what he was saying. I cheated on you because everything was becoming too serious. You were already my old lady but you wanted to be my wife. Which...isn't a crazy demand considering how long you and I have loved one another...but at that moment...I wasn't ready for that. And so...I did what I always do when things get too hot for me…I looked for a way to run away…and Kimber was that way out. She meant nothing. She was just a means to an end. I know how much I hurt you with what I did…if I could take it all back Tara…I would do it in a minute. I know that…I am sorry won't fix things between us…but I am willing to work with you to make things right. I love you and I want to be with you…I want us to have a life together."

Tara said "So...you cheated on me because I wanted to do more than just play house with you? How long was that supposed to last Jax? I love you and Abel…but I don't want to be one of those women that waits around half of her life waiting for the man she loves to smarten himself up and propose. I also don't want to have to force you into anything. I was always up front with you about what I wanted…I wanted forever Jax…and I thought you could give that to me…I thought that you wanted to give that to me…but instead of being man enough to say that you needed time…you blew up our relationship and did the one thing I always told you was a deal breaker…cheating on me…was a deal breaker…because I knew that it would kill me inside and I didn't know if I would ever be able to look at you the same way again. I trusted you with my heart…you told me to…trust you…trust in the love you have for me and you would never hurt me…well you hurt me Jax…you cut me to the core. After it happened I didn't know if I would ever get over it…if I would ever heal. I felt like I hadn't just lost the man I loved…but the future life I had always wanted. And it makes me so mad at you because I still love you. I still want to be with you. You are still the man that I look for when I am in trouble…when I need to be comforted…I look for you. But God help me…I love Opie too. I trust him and I love him and even though his reaction hurt me…but he didn't cheat on me….I still love him…Opie has always…understood me…understood my pain. Even when you and I were dating when we were younger Opie could always see my pain…and tried to help both of us. Opie saw through my lies concerning my dad…he knew what hell I was living in at my house. All I have ever wanted was a real family that was based on love…and not pain."

Jax felt like a bastard listening to Tara talking about how badly he had hurt her with his actions. He felt even worse when she talked about Opie not cheating on her. She had no idea just how similar Jax and Opie really were on this particular subject. But he wasn't about to hurt Tara by telling her the truth. That would be up to Opie to man up and tell her what he had done. Jax searched for the right words, but not just the right words but the truthful ones from his heart. He decided to put everything on the line to let the woman he loved see into him. No more walls…just the truth. "I know nothing I say will be able to take away the pain that I caused you. I was careless…I threw away our relationship without even really thinking about what that meant. I let my fear of commitment cloud my better judgment. I messed things up with Wendy…I messed up Wendy…our marriage drove her to drugs…I don't know what it was about me but I wasn't a very good husband Tara. I did a lot of things to hurt her some things that I probably will never really know or understand the depth. And when you started bringing up marriage…it made me think back to Wendy. It made me think about the broken shell of a person she became because she was Mrs. Jackson Teller. And that scared me…because I have never loved another woman the way I love you. And the very last thing I ever wanted to do was to cause you the kind of pain and unhappiness I caused Wendy. I destroyed Wendy's life and she still hasn't recovered from that. And having Donna die the way that she did…the way she was killed it made me really look at the danger I was asking you to be a part of. I am used to taking risks with my life. I know that I might die and I have always been okay with that. I understood that was all part of being part of the club. But the idea that you could die...because of my dealings with the club…that was more than I could bear. And instead of talking to you and telling you what was on my mind…I took the coward's way out…I love you Tara and if you give me another chance I will be the man you need me to be…not just for you but also for the baby. I can give you the family you've always wanted…me, you, Abel, the baby, maybe two or three of our own. I will do everything in my power to never cause you anymore pain. You have my word. From the time I was a kid…all I ever wanted was a cut and a Harley…well after I met you…all I wanted was you, a cut, and my Harley… Jax kissed her softly and then looked into her eyes.

Hearing Jax open up to her about his fears and his feelings for her melted Tara's resolve. She looked at him and knew that she was in more trouble than she could have ever imagined. It was one thing to love him but she had always believed that she would never be able to forgive him for his infidelity. And without that forgiveness Tara knew she could never be in a relationship with him again because she wouldn't be able to trust him. But in that moment of honesty and clarity Tara had saw his soul and his sincerity and she knew in her heart that given time and effort that she could forgive Jax for cheating on her. And that presented a very serious problem for Tara. Jax and Opie were now on an equal playing field and that scared her. Her brain told her to choose one man and her heart told her to choose another. Tara threw caution to the wind and kissed him passionately. After the kiss Tara pulled back sheepishly. "I am sorry…I just…wanted to kiss you. All you want is me….a cut…and a Harley?" She hugged him gently trying not to hurt her ribs or his broken arm. She sat there with him for awhile. She felt exhausted physically as well as emotionally.

"You never have to apologize for laying one on me baby." said Jax with a smirk. He tucked some hair behind her ear and looked into her eyes. "Yes, that is all I want...a family with you Tara…I know you have a lot to think about and I am not trying to complicate that…I just want you to know how I feel about you. You look tired baby….maybe we should take a nap…" offered Jax looking at her. "I am tired too." said Jax looking at her. Jax looked into the face of the woman that he was madly in love with. He didn't know how things would work out but he hoped that he would be the man she picked. He knew that if she chose him he would make things right. He would make this woman his wife.

Tara smiled gently. "I do feel pretty tired…a nap sounds very good right now. I can't believe how tired I am…" She kissed him again. She slid down in the bed some trying to get comfortable. She rested her head on his chest. It just seemed like the natural place for her to rest. Something about hearing Jax's heart beat in his chest always brought her comfort. It was like knowing as long as that heart beat in his chest he would always be there to take care of her...to love her and that was all she really needed. Tara's hand rested on her stomach as she started to drift off to sleep.

Jax laid down with her with his arm around her body his hand moved to her hand and their fingers interlaced resting atop her stomach. He closed his eyes tiredly laying with her. He didn't know how to read her. He had no idea where they stood right now. He kissed her head and said "Get some rest Tara…you and the little one need it." Jax tried to stay awake but he realized Tara wasn't the only one that was exhausted. He drifted off to sleep after he heard Tara's breathing even out.


	27. Chapter 27

Clay walked into the house a couple of hours later. He could smell dinner cooking so he walked into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around Gemma's waist as she stood at the stove cooking. "How are you doing baby? How are Jax and Tara doing?" asked Clay lightly kissing the back of her heard as he watched her cook. He was tired. He hadn't gotten much sleep the previous night and he had been busy since he left the hospital. There still hadn't been any sightings of Darby and Clay didn't know how much longer he'd be able to stonewall Gemma on situation.

Gemma said "I am doing alright it has been pretty quiet around here this afternoon. I was able to get in a nap when Abel took a nap. Jax and Tara have been quiet all afternoon. They haven't really needed anything. I will have to go soon and let them know that dinner is ready. They've been in Tara's room almost the entire time. Jax spent a little time with me and Abel...but then Jax went to Tara's room and I haven't heard from either one of them since then. So I am guessing that it is a good thing...no arguing or anything like that." Gemma sighed a minute and said "Opie called awhile ago...wanted to know how Tara was doing and when he could come over to see her...I guess I will have to talk to Tara about that later...see if she even wants to see Opie..he is pretty eager to get over here and see her. I can't say I blame him. He knows that Jax is over here with access to her whenever he wants to see her. Jax is taking a hard run at her, I guess he finally got his head out of his ass and realized that if he really wants her...he better damn well fight for her."

Clay said "Kids...too much trouble is what they are. Jax talked about going Nomad earlier...at least until things cool off with him and Opie. I told him to hold off on that until we see how things play out. But he's willing to go Nomad if that means he ends up with Tara. I know how you feel about that Gemma...but it might be the best option for us to keep the peace within the club. Just have one of them take off for a bit until they cool down and can look at things clearly. Fighting for her is the problem...we could do with less fights...or not fights at all. I need them focused on the task at hand. We've got a road trip in a couple of days. Jax can't go now...and hell Opie probably won't want to go because he is sitting around here waiting to see what Tara is going to do. And I can't even say that I blame him...if I was in the same situation I would want to do the same. Hell I was all over you when you were making up your mind about me and John."

"Nomad is a bad decision for Jax and it is a bad one for Opie. And either one of them going Nomad isn't going to help solve the bad blood between them. It will just put distance...they still won't work their shit out...and we will be in the same boat we are in right now...the two of them not being able to stand the sight of one another. No the only way to have this have a good resolution is for all three of them to work this out...and put it to rest. Otherwise it will be a merry-go-round of anger. All three of them are torn up right now..."

"Well, you talked to the doc after the fight this morning. Did you get any sort of sense of where her head is at on this thing...I mean essentially it all comes down to her. She's got to make a decision and she's got to make it soon...we can't have this uncertainty hanging over the club." said Clay walking over to the counter and poured himself a glass of whiskey. He had a seat tiredly at the table.

Gemma shook her head and said "Not a clue...she is confused baby...she doesn't know what to do...she loves both of them...she loves them both equally according to her. Rushing her to make a decision isn't going to make things any better Clay. If anything it will complicate the decision more. She needs to be able to take her time and make the right decision. She chose too quickly last time and look where we are at now. She didn't take the time to think things through...and now she's got to take the baby into consideration. So are you any closer to finding out who hit them last night?" Gemma turned so that she was looking at Clay when she asked the question.

Clay said "Well, you have a point there...but you know the old saying...more is lost by indecision than wrong decision. If she waits around too long to make her decision she may not have two men to choose from. And no one wants to be the guy that gets chosen because the other guy dropped out of the race altogether. We know who is responsible for the accident but we haven't been able to locate him. But we are looking and you have my word that when we find him...we will take care of it. Just let me do what I do best...worry about the problems we have here at home...please."

Gemma kissed his cheek and said "Alright I will work on things here. Speaking of...I should go and wake them up for dinner time. Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes." Gemma went to Jax's room first and peered inside seeing that he wasn't in there. Although Gemma hadn't really thought he would be in there. She knocked on Tara's bedroom door. "Tara…Jax…dinner is almost ready…and Tara has to eat dinner...she skipped lunch." said Gemma standing outside.

Jax groaned a little opening his eyes. He had been asleep the entire time. He looked over and saw Tara was asleep as well. He gently kissed her cheek and lightly rubbed her back "Tara…it is time to wake up…you need to eat something. Mom said that you skipped lunch today..." said Jax quietly. Jax got out of the bed and walked over to the door. He opened it and said "We'll be up in a minute…Tara is still sort of asleep."

Gemma nodded and said "Alright….don't take too long or dinner will start getting cold. Is she doing okay….? Are you doing okay?" Gemma quirked an eyebrow at her son wondering if the two of them had made any progress at all. She had her own ideas about who Tara was closing to choosing and everyone would be surprised.

Jax nodded and said "Yeah we are okay…we are good actually. We...talked about a lot of stuff...including the fact that I cheated on her. All I can hope is that she realizes that I am for real...Don't worry about it…I know that is like telling the sun not to shine…but just don't worry about it." He smiled at her and walked back into the room closing the door.

Tara was sitting up in the bed now but she looked exhausted. She said "If I wasn't starving I would go right back to sleep. I don't think I have ever been quite this tired in my life. Thank you for laying with me Jax...it was easier for me to fall asleep that way. I always sleep good when I am in your arms...it is like...having a security blanket wrapped around me." Tara tiredly got out of the bed and put on her slippers.

Jax walked over to her and said "Well, once you eat you can get back into bed and get some more rest." He kissed her softly and then opened the bedroom door for her. "Well, I am glad that I was able to help you sleep better. I sleep better when you are in my arms...I always have..."

Tara and Jax went to the kitchen to have dinner with Gemma and Clay. It was a fairly quiet dinner. Afterward Clay pulled Jax aside to talk and Gemma saw that as her time to talk to Tara. Gemma had a seat next to her at the table and said "Opie called for you earlier…he wanted to know how you were feeling…and he also wanted to know if he could come over and see you tonight…he was pretty anxious about that…I told him that I would talk to you about it once you were awake. So...what are you thinking? Do you want to see him...or should I tell him to give you a couple of days?"

Tara was quiet a moment not sure what to say. She didn't really want to see Opie not because she was angry with him per se. It was more because at the moment she felt like she had her mind made up and seeing him might change her entire lookout on the subject. She didn't answer Gemma at first. She was running the scenario through her head.

Gemma saw the look on her face and said "I know that things aren't the best with you and Opie right now. But if you are going to make an informed decision…the best decision…the final decision…you are going to need to do so after evaluating all of the facts. And you can't do that if you and Opie don't work to resolve the issues between the two of you…the hurt you feel because he acted as if he didn't want you or the baby."

"It wasn't just an act Gemma…he didn't want me or the baby…that is until he figured out that Jax was interested in me. And then suddenly he's ready to claim the family that just the day before he let walk out the door. He didn't even try to stop me Gemma...he called after me...but...it was like it was obligatory...like that was what he was supposed to do in that situation." said Tara.

"I am not telling you to ignore the facts I am telling you that you should hear him out. Opie loves you Tara. He wasn't at his best and brightest yesterday that is for damn sure but that doesn't change the way he feels about you. And I think we both know that his interest in you runs deeper than just besting Jax. Although I am sure that is part of it. But I saw him when he got to the hospital last night he was worried about you…he was worried about the baby. He was worried about Jax. Clay mentioned that he had walked in on Opie praying in the chapel...he cares darlin." said Gemma.

"How is he ever going to forgive me for having sex with Jax…whether we were broken up or not…Opie already had issues believing that I could want him and not Jax…I mean me sleeping with Jax just reinforced the whole thing. I don't think that I could look into his eyes knowing that he hated me. It would hurt too much…it hurt too much yesterday knowing he didn't want to be with me. I love Opie...I never wanted to do anything to hurt him." said Tara.

"You can't let your fear of getting hurt keep you from looking at all of the facts. You want to make the right decision. Not just for you but for your baby. And you can't do that if you shut Opie out of the equation…because he is a part of this thing and you still love him no matter how he reacted. As angry as you were with him that day I am sure more than anything you just wanted him to wrap his arms around you and tell you that he loved you and that everything would be okay…." said Gemma with a knowing look.

Tara didn't want to admit it but Gemma was right on point. But then again she usually was. It was an annoying trait and yet a comforting one. Tara took in a deep breath and said "Okay…you've made your point. I've got to stop being a coward and actually talk to Opie. If for no other reason than the fact that I am pregnant by him…" She sighed and ran a frustrated hand through her hair. "I think I am going to call Opie…and let him know that he could come over now if he wanted to. Thank you Gemma…for everything." Tara got up from the table and made her way back to her bedroom. She climbed into the bed tiredly. She looked over and realized that Jax's cut was gone. She knew he must have left with Clay. She figured this was the perfect time to talk to Opie. Tara picked up the phone next to her bed and dialed Opie's phone number.

Opie was stretched out in his bed alone. He thought it was strange being in that bed alone now. He had purchased it so that Tara could sleep over without him feeling like he was disrespecting Donna by sleeping with Tara in the bed they once shared together. Opie took a swig of Whiskey and closed his eyes tiredly. He had been drinking for the better part of the night. He thought back to the previous day and wondered how he managed to screw things up so horribly. Opie answered the phone after a couple of rings. "Hello?" asked Opie.

Tara paused a minute and said "Hi…Opie…it's me. I…uh…are you busy? Because if not…I was thinking that maybe you could come over and we could talk to one another…I think…we have a lot to talk about. But…uh if you are busy it could wait until tomorrow." Tara gave Opie an out if he didn't want to come over. She leaned back against the headboard with her eyes closed wondering if he would take her up on her offer or not. She braced herself for possible rejection.

"Hi baby…" said Opie after hearing Tara's voice. He hadn't been sure that she would call him at all. Gemma hadn't sounded too optimistic earlier when he called to ask if he could stop by and see Tara. That drove him crazy knowing that she was there and so was Jax. But he tried not to think of that right now. "No, I'd really like to come over and see you…now if…that is okay with you…" said Opie sitting up in the bed somewhat as he waited for her answer.

Tara said "Now would be okay…I am sort of tired but…I don't want to put off seeing you…I will be in my room when you get here…Gemma will send you in…I'll see you when you get here Opie…bye…" said Tara not sure what else to say. Tara hung up and wrung her hands together feeling nervous. She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes for a bit needing to relax.

"I will see you in a couple of minutes. I love you." said Opie hanging up the phone. He sat all the way up in the bed and got up putting on his clothes and shoes. Piney and Mary were watching the children so Opie didn't have to worry about that. He walked out and climbed onto his bike and rode over to Clay and Gemma's house. He parked in the driveway and then walked up to the front door knocking.

Gemma walked to the door and opened it. "Come on in Opie…Tara is in the guestroom." Gemma closed the front door behind him and walked him back to Tara's room. She nodded at the door and then walked away to give them privacy.

Opie knocked on the door after standing there a minute. He took in a breath and said "Tara…it's me…can I come in?" Opie waited for her response his head resting on the door. He went over what he wanted to say in his head.

Tara got settled in the bed and finally said "Come in Opie…" Tara reached for the remote and turned off the television. She sat there nervously wondering just how this conversation would play out.

Opie walked into the room closing the door behind him. He walked over to the bed and had a seat next to Tara. He looked into her eyes and saw the nervousness. "I am sorry about fighting with Jax the way I did…I never meant to upset you or scare you." Opie took her hands into his. "I was just…I was mad at Jax but…I was mostly mad at myself. I know that if I would have…been with you last night…you wouldn't have had sex with him last night…."

"I am not scared of you Opie…I just don't like watching the two of you trying to tear one another a part…it is hard for me to watch. I know you don't want to hear this but I love both of you…very much. And I'd never want to see either of you get hurt because of me…or because of anything that I did. You have to know that Jax didn't take advantage of me…and I didn't sleep with him because of you…I made a decision…a conscience decision to do it…I wanted to be with him in that moment. I wanted to feel comforted in a way…that I knew only he could provide comfort. And it was wrong…and I'm sorry…I know how much trouble I've caused because of this situation. I just…I needed him last night. I needed to feel not alone…I needed to feel loved by someone…and he made me feel that way." said Tara. "So if you are going to be mad at anyone about what happened…then you should be mad at me...I set the wheels in motion. Jax offered to leave after we had hung out for awhile…but I asked him to stay because I didn't want to be alone."

Opie said "I love you Tara and I messed up big time and I know that. I hurt you and…that was never my intention I was just…shocked and I didn't handle it well. The time that we've been together…we've have three great months baby and I've loved it. But for me…that is really quickly to move in together and start this whole new life…it isn't you it is me and my hag up…feeling like I am disrespecting Donna's memory by moving on so fully so quickly. But please…don't let my fears make you think that I don't love you because that just isn't true. I adore you…and I can see myself spending the rest of my life with you."

"I want to believe you Opie…but I don't understand…I asked if I could move in because I had been spending every night at your house…at your request. The nights I tried to go home you'd find reasons for me to stay. Did I misread your signals….?" asked Tara.

"No…well…yes you misread my signals. I love having you stay over. I love waking up next to you in the morning. But I just wasn't ready for you to move in yet. I hadn't even really thought about it…so when you brought it up…I didn't react well. But by the next day I was ready for you to move in with me…the problem came then that…I didn't react well when you told me that you were pregnant. It was like another bombshell…you know…like just when I had gotten myself together with the idea of you moving in…there was something new…something much bigger. And I am sorry for how I reacted baby. I love you Tara and I want this baby with you. I just reacted badly…but that doesn't change how I feel about you. You've made my life better. I don't know where I would be or where my kids would be right now if it wasn't for your love and support since Donna died. I was drowning and you helped keep me afloat in all of this."

Tara said "Well, telling you that I was pregnant was a lot to spring on you…I was just so scared…I couldn't keep it inside any longer. I was worried about how you would react….I was scared and more than anything I needed you…I needed you to tell me that everything was going to be okay and that you loved me. But you let me down and it hurt…it hurt so bad Opie. I understand that you are still grieving Opie…maybe we rushed everything…we should try to take a break…go backward…I mean of course I am still going to have the baby. But maybe we should go back to being friends until…you feel like you have grieved properly for Donna. I was in no way trying to push you…or trying to disrespect Donna. I hope you know that. I didn't' get to know her well but I know that she loved you and she loved those kids. And that is enough or me to know that she was a great woman."

"I think that is just the point…that is why I feel guilty…I feel guilty because I am not grieving anymore. I am happy in my life with you and the kids. A couple of weeks I woke up and realized that Donna wasn't the first thing on my mind when I woke up and she wasn't the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep. And it made me feel bad that…this woman died because of me and my lifestyle…and I had moved on so quickly…and maybe it is because I moved on with someone that I have loved since I was a kid…I don't know. But it made me feel like…somehow I was disrespecting her…that somehow I didn't really love her….how can I be happy when the woman that I married…died because of me." said Opie quietly. He looked at her his eyes glassy but no tears had fallen.

"I love you Tara and I will do whatever i have to do to make this up to you...just don't give up on me...and don't give up on the family that we could have together. I love you...Kenny and Ellie love you too. They love having you around and I think they are going to be pretty excited about having a new little brother or sister too. I know I messed up but we can still be a family Tara." said Opie. "Can you find it in your heart to forgive me Tara?"

Tara said "You are the only one that messed up Opie... I betrayed you by sleeping with Jax...I am sorry." She hugged him gently. She wasn't sure what else to say. Nothing was turning out the way she had predicted. She felt bed for Opie...she felt bad for betraying Opie. More importantly she believed him when he said he felt guilty for moving on. She has witnessed that guilt in her own father when he tried to move on after her mother died. He had never been able to get over the guilt enough to have a functional relationship with a woman. But Opie was different he was working toward it he just needed more time. And in the scheme of things Tara knew that with time they could probably work things out. But then that took her back to her original problem. Jax and Opie were once again and level playing fields. "Of course I can forgive you...I just hope that you can forgive me too."

Opie nodded and said "yes, I can forgive you Tara..." He wrapped his arms around gently not wanting to hurt her. He kissed her softly and then with a little more passion. He pulled back slightly and looked in her eyes. "I can make you happy Tara...you know that...right...? I will be a good father to our baby...just...tell me you want to come home with me...please." said Opie with pleading eyes.

Tara tried not to be sick tasting the copious amount of alcohol residue in Opie's mouth when he kissed her. Tara looked into his eyes and felt her heartache. She wanted to say what he wanted to hear but she knew it wouldn't do anyone any good. "Opie...I love you but...I am not ready to make the decision yet. I don't want to rush...I don't want to make a mistake that could end up hurting Jax, you, or me...I need to be sure about what I am doing and the only way I can be sure is by taking my time and figuring this out. That also means spending time with both of you...because of course right now...both of you are saying everything I've ever wanted to hear...but at the end of the day...it is actions that really make the difference...I can understand if you want no part of that and I won't hold it against you."

Opie looked into her eyes and listening to her broke his heart. "It isn't what I want to hear…but I've waited this many years to have you…I can wait a little longer. I know you will make the right decision I've just got o prove myself to you…prove to you that we can be the family you've always wanted." He kissed her softly and said "do you mind if I stay a little longer? I don't want to leave you just yet…"

"I am really tired Opie…but you can stay…as long as you don't mind me laying down. I might end up falling asleep." said Tara as a warning. She would feel bad about falling asleep on him but at this point she couldn't make any guarantees.

"Sure that is fine I know that you need your rest Tara. I would never ask you to stay up and keep me company." said Opie. He moved and helped Tara get settled in the bed. "Do you need me to get anything for you?" Opie kicked off his shoes and climbed into bed with Tara as gently as he could. He laid in the bed with her absently watching the television.

"No, I am fine Opie…really." said Tara. She laid down tiredly and closed her eyes. Tara laid there for about 20 minutes in complete silence but she couldn't seem to bring herself to fall asleep. She felt the bed move and then felt Opie's head on her stomach. She looked down seeing him laying there.

"Your dad has really messed things up...but...I am going to be a good daddy to you….I promise. I will always be there for you and you will not want for anything..." whispered Opie to Tara's stomach. He thought she had already fallen sleep. Opie laid there until he drifted off to sleep.

Tara laid there with Opie's head on her stomach not sure what to do. If she had been able to wrestle his big body off of hers she might have been tempted to run away at that very moment. Jax and Opie were making this extremely hard for her. Just when she thought she had an answer she talked to one of them and they entirely changed her perception. She had been considering Either, OR but perhaps the real answer was Neither, Nor. Tara laid there for what seemed like forever listening to Opie lightly snore.

Jax made it back from the club with Clay and went to Tara's bedroom to check on her. he opened the door and stopped seeing Opie laying there with her. His heart sunk a little but the look on her face was tough to read she didn't look comfortable...she looked like she wanted him.

Tara looked at Jax and mouthed the words. "I love you..."

"I love you too." said Jax in a quiet voice. he closed the door and went to his own room. He didn't want to be jealous and he didn't want to be angry but he was sort of both. he wanted to be in that room with her but he also knew that there was a chance that he wouldn't be the person she chose and as much as that hurt...he wanted her to be happy even if that was with Opie. He laid back in his bed and shook his head. He chuckled to himself. When did he become so mature and level-headed? He would never know.


	28. Chapter 28

Opie slept in the bed with Tara the entire night, the whiskey he had pounded back earlier in the day had been his undoing. He woke up the next morning and looked up seeing that Tara was still asleep but she looked like she was in pain. Opie got up and moved so that he was laying next to her in the bed. He gently took her into his arms and held her as the sun started to rise. Being with her for the entire night had made him feel calm and at ease. Spending that night with her had made him even more determined to get Tara back. He just had to figure out how to do that. Opie closed his eyes again and drifted off for another hour.

Jax lightly knocked on the door knowing that Opie was still there. Jax knew he had to be the bigger man for the benefit of the club. He had to show Clay that the two of them could coexist without devolving in violent brawls every time they were in the same vicinity. More importantly he knew that Tara needed things to be calm for her sake and for the baby's sake. So for those reasons he was willing to attempt to bury the hatchet with Opie. And he figured what better time than now…early in the morning while everyone else was still fast asleep.

Opie heard the door and got up before Tara could be woken up by the noise. He went to the door and opened it looking tired. His eyes were still heavy from sleep and a mild hangover. He looked at Jax and said "What do you want…?" But it wasn't an angry question. It was more of an inquisitive one. Opie hated fighting with Jax. It was a strange feeling. Jax was usually the person he went to when he had problems like these.

Jax said "I think that we need to talk…man to man...I was going to go outside and have a smoke…it is nice and cool this time of morning...my favorite time of the year…we've got to find a better way to handle this…for everyone…or I think Clay might suggest that we both go Nomad." said Jax with a quiet but deep chuckle.

Opie looked at him and nodded. "Yeah I will come out there with you." Opie walked back over to the bed and picked up his cut but didn't bother putting on his shoes. He padded out of the room quietly closing the door behind him. He walked out of the house with Jax and had a seat in a chair on the back patio. He looked pulled his cut around him more since it was fairly cool outside.

Jax had a seat in another chair and lit up a cigarette. He nodded at Opie offering him the pack. "Me and you have to come to some sort of understanding…or Clay is going to put a solution to this situation on his own…and I don't think either one of us wants that…and I don't think either of us really wants to go Nomad or move to another charter. Charming is our home…and this is where we want to be…" Jax took another drag from his cigarette and waited to see what Opie had to say about everything. Jax was willing to meet him half way….but only halfway.

Opie accepted the pack of cigarettes and took one from the pack lighting it up. He handed the pack back to Jax. Opie took a couple of puffs and closed his eyes a minute thinking about what Jax was saying to him. He nodded and said "I know man…Pops told me the same thing yesterday…we either get this shit together ourselves…or the club will work it out for us…the last thing I want is the club telling me if I can be with Tara or not. I've just been trying to wrap my head around this entire situation…and I am having a hard time doing that. I trusted you as brother to stay away from what is mine…it is a line that you normally don't cross. I mean…are you even sorry about what you did?" Opie looked over at Jax. He felt his anger starting to build but he took another drag from his cigarette and just chilled out. He didn't look at Jax. He stared off into the distance looking at some unknown thing.

"You are right it is a line I normally wouldn't cross…but we are far from normal I think we can both safely say. We both love the same woman…and that puts us at odds in a way that we've never been at odds before. I'd like to say that I could be the bigger man and step aside and let you be with Tara without putting up any sort of a fight…but I am not that big of a man. I would be lying if I said that I didn't want her to pick me. She's my first and only love Opie. I've never loved any other woman…ever…I've cared about women…but I've never loved another woman. Not that this makes it any better…but I want you to know that I didn't go to Tara's house that night…looking to move in on your woman. I went because I knew she would be depressed and when Tara gets depressed she uh…withdraws from society…I think she gets it from her old man. He locked himself up in that house and drank himself to death after losing Tara's mother." Jax took a long drag off of his cigarette and said "The point is…I went over to cheer her up…and spend some time with her…let her know that you weren't nearly as stupid as you were acting…and it started off as that…I swear….but uh…I got ready to go because it was getting late and more than that I was starting to feel those old familiar feelings for her. It was like…we had never been apart everything just fell back into place the way we left things. But Tara asked me to hang around with her…she really didn't want to be alone…so I stayed…and we reminisced and we watched a horror flick…and…she spilled ice cream on her and….I crossed the line right then and there. I stopped thinking about my brother and I started thinking about myself. I started thinking about how much I loved this woman…and how I'd be a lucky son of a bitch if she let me back into her life…and I let that lead me… so am I sorry? I guess my answer is…sort of…but not a lot. Tara is a great girl and I screwed up when I cheated on her…I screwed up even worse when I didn't try to fix things between me and her. But now…I have this chance to make things right. I am never going to love anyone the way I love Tara. She owns part of my heart…and no one else I ever going to be able to take her place in my life…Wendy learned that the hard way and I guess I learned that the hard way too."

Opie look over at him and said "I guess that is honest enough of you…I know you aren't the type to plot against me. I guess I am just a little paranoid. I love Tara…I don't want to lose her…and I pushed her to you like an idiot. It plays into my own bullshit…you know…always being the second best when it comes to you. I mean I knew from the time we were little kids…that I was going to be your second in command…I was always going to be behind you. And that is how it always was…the girls that you didn't want chased me…because if they couldn't have the great Jackson Teller…they could have Opie Winston as a consolation prize. I guess I am most pissed off because I know Tara well enough to know that you didn't take advantage of her…if he had sex with you…it is because she wanted too…and that bothers the hell out of me. I am always going to be second best with Tara when it comes to you. No matter all of the good that I do…she is always going to love Jackson Teller in some way."

"I never treated you like you were second best Opie. You are my best friend…my brother. Anything I have ever had I've always shared with you…money, booze, women…whatever. Anything I have ever had…was yours to share too…except Tara. But then how do you share the girl that you love…you can't…not really. The only thing we can do is be ourselves and let Tara make whatever decision is right for her…but I think we should both spend time with her…" said Jax.

Opie said "I am not saying that you made me feel that way it was just the way it was. I was second best and I was use to that…and then we got older and things changed. I became my own man and I didn't mind being behind you. But then when I found out that Tara was into me…and that in fact when we were teenagers that she had been into me then too…it blew my mind because…how could someone…that Jax Teller desired…ever want me…being with Tara has turned my head upside down…in a good way but in a bad way too…I am afraid of losing her…and…it makes me act a little crazy….I am sorry about going off on you yesterday. I just didn't want you to say anything to Tara about…what I was doing at the club. And talking to her last night…I realized that you still hadn't told her…so thank you for that. I don't want something I did in a moment of stupidity to hurt her…I love her. You are right about that…I think that we should both spend time with her."

"It is a democratic organization Opie…there is no guarantees that I will be voted in as president when my time comes…but I can see how you would feel that way. I didn't keep your secret about the threesome for your sake. I kept that secret to protect Tara…cheating… for her is the worst thing you could ever do…short of smacking her around… if I told her that you cheated on her with not one…but two crow-eaters…she would be devastated and she doesn't deserve that kind of pain…she is just looking for some happiness…she's tired of being sad…she wants to belong somewhere…she wants to have the family that she never really had…I am not going to lie to you…I told Tara that I want to be with her…and that I would take care of her and the baby. And I meant it…because…I love her…"

Opie laughed and shook his head. "She cheated on me with you….You've got a lot of balls on you to sit here and tell me that. That you'd be a father to my kid! The right thing to do would be to back off and let me fix things with Tara…she belongs with me…she's pregnant with my kid…not yours. You had your chance and you threw it away."

"I am just trying to be straight up with you Opie. You are my brother I think I at least owe you that. I love that woman in there…and if she wants me…I am going to be with her and I won't give it a second thought and if that makes me a bad friend or a bad brother…then so be it…because I am not giving up on her. I screwed up letting her go…I won't make that mistake again. You let her go too….you are no better than I am. She should probably cut her losses and walk away from both of us."

Gemma walked out onto the patio in her robe. "I made coffee…do the two of you want any?" asked Gemma. She of course wanted to know what they were talking about and if they were managing to be civil but she couldn't just come out and ask that. Gemma was holding two cups of coffee in her hand.

Opie got up and said "Thank you for the coffee Gemma." He took the cups from her and walked back over to Jax having a seat. He handed one of the cups to Jax.

"How are the two of you doing…? Can I get you anything else?" asked Gemma walking out further onto the patio the cool concrete making her curl her toes a bit to get away from the cold.

Jax shook his head and said "Real subtle mom….real subtle. Opie and I haven't gotten into a fight…we are okay for now…we've talked…and that is all…" Jax looked back at her and quirked and eyebrow. "Does that answer all of your questions?" asked Jax chuckling a he took a sip of the coffee.

Gemma smiled and said "I am glad to hear it…because no one fights in this house except for me." She kissed Jax's cheek and then kissed Opie's cheek. "I am going to make some breakfast. Opie are you going to stick around for breakfast?"

Opie nodded and said "if it wouldn't be any trouble…yeah I'd like to stay for breakfast Gemma…I'd like to get to spend some more time with Tara before I head back home…I appreciate the hospitality."

"It is no problem at all...you know family is always welcome here…I am just glad to see that the two of you are getting along. That is what is important to me. I am going to cook up a big breakfast so I hope both of you have your appetites." said Gemma. She walked back into the house closing the door behind her.

Clay was sitting at the table having a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper. He lowered the paper and looked at his wife. "You just couldn't help yourself could you? It is like a disease with you. I could have sworn I asked you yesterday to stay out of it…"

"Well, I can't stay out of it…especially when it is happening in my house. I wanted to know what was going on…besides I am not sure why you are acting so surprised…you knew very well that I wasn't just going to stand back and not get involved at all. That just isn't the woman you married. You know me I am hands on…you usually like it when I am hands on." said Gemma. She started working on breakfast.

Clay laughed and said "Yes, I like when you are hands on with me….but this situation you might need to bow out of. They don't need a mommy…they need to work this out on their own. We might as well be running a hotel out of here with everyone that is staying."

"Oh quit your complaining Clay. Opie only stayed for one night…and maybe this is a good neutral territory for everyone to settle down and figure out what is going on. The sooner they can find a solution the sooner everything can get back to normal." said Gemma with a chuckle.

Tara walked into the kitchen and said "Oh…good morning Gemma…good morning Clay. Is uh…Jax here still?" Tara figured Opie had already gone for the morning and she was glad of that. She needed some time away from Opie. Last night had been a drain on her.

Gemma said "He's sitting outside on the patio….with Opie…" Gemma looked at Tara trying to gauge her expression. Gemma had her suspicions about which way Tara was leaning.

Tara's face fell and she held back a sigh. She nodded and said "Oh…Okay…I well…I'll be back I forgot something in the bedroom... I…" Tara left the kitchen not bothering to finish the statement. She went back to the guestroom and closed the door. She had a seat on the bed and put her head in her hands for a minute. She took a deep breath collecting herself and attempting to calm her frayed nerves. She just needed to suck it up and figure out how to not get so emotional. She calmed down but decided to lay down for awhile. She wasn't ready to deal with both of them at the same time just yet.

About an hour later there was a knock on the door. "Tara…." said Opie quietly from the other side of the door. He leaned his head against the door waiting for her to answer. He was holding a plate in his hand that Gemma had sent up for Tara. "Tara…I just want to know if you are okay." said Opie feeling rather defeated at the moment.

Tara sat there for a minute debating if she should lay down and pretend that she was asleep. But she decided that it would be childish to do that when Opie was just concerned about her. Tara got up and opened the bedroom door. "Come in…" said Tara. She went back over to the bed and climbed in. She pulled a blanket around her and said "I am just a little cold and I don't feel very good."

"I uh…you didn't come and have breakfast. I brought a plate for you. Gemma kept your breakfast warm waiting for you to come into the kitchen. I figured I would bring it to you…see if you were okay in here. You really need to try to eat Tara…I uh…was it because of me that you didn't come into the kitchen for breakfast…? Jax said you ate dinner with them last night before I came over…" said Opie walking over to her bed. He set the plate and the silverware next to her but didn't sit on the bed with her or anything. He wasn't sure what to say but he was getting the distinct feeling that she didn't really want him there. "I should probably get going…"

"No…Opie…no it isn't you. It is you and Jax together. It's just after yesterday…I really don't want to be in the same place with the two of you at the same time…" said Tara although she was only partially telling the truth. But she didn't have the heart to tell Opie that him being there was stressing her out. Being with Opie she felt pressured…like if she didn't choose him he'd be hurt to his core and she never wanted to do anything to hurt Opie. He had always been there for her in big and little ways. She didn't get that feel from Jax. She felt like Jax would be okay whether she decided to be with him or not. That took the pressure off her and it allowed her to just relax when she was with Jax. Tara saw the hurt in Opie's eyes and it just killed her. She moved the plate and said "Do you have to leave right now…or do you feel like laying with me for a little while?"

Opie was shocked that she asked but he said "Uh…no I don't have to go to the club until later…and I am taking the day off from the garage….so I can spend some more time here with you if that is what you really want….but you don't have to feel obligated or anything to spend time with me Tara. I just…want you to know that. You mean the world to me but I understand if you need a break from everything…from me."

Tara nodded and said "I am sure that I want you to lay here with me for awhile…we were both sort of tired last night so we just…drifted off into sleep after we talked for a little while. Spending time with you is a good idea." She patted the space next to her on the bed and shifted over some so that Opie would have more room to lay down.

Opie took off his cut and climbed into the bed with Tara. He sat up against the headboard and said "You should probably try to eat your breakfast Tara…you need to eat on a regular basis…stay healthy you know…for the baby…"

"I know Opie…but my stomach is sort of upset right now. I feel queasy…if I eat anything it will come right back up. It is better for me to wait a little while. I can always heat it back up if it cools off too much." said Tara. "How were Kenny and Ellie yesterday?" asked Tara looking over at Opie. She missed them and she had only been away from them for a couple of days.

"They were okay…they had a lot of fun at the cottage with my parents…Pops is talking about maybe taking them out there again in a couple of weeks. I think he likes spending time with them and mom…reminds him of when I was kid…or at least what it should have been like when I was a kid. I told the kids you weren't feeling too good. Kenny said get better soon…he wants you to come home and make a cake for him. Ellie drew you a picture." Opie fished around in his pocket before pulling out the folded drawing. He handed it to Tara.

Tara unfolded the paper and smiled seeing the drawing. "Maybe…you could bring the kids over to visit…tomorrow or something if you have time. I'd really like to see them…I miss them a lot. You have really great children Opie…you are really lucky." She ran her fingers over the drawing. She smiled and set it on her bedside table propped up against the vase that contained her flowers.

Opie nodded and said "Yeah, I do…and I have a better relationship with them than I've ever had and that is all because of you. You've been there supporting me and encouraging me. You've helped me be the father that I need to be to them. I've let them down so much….but they still love me. Kids are…resilient that way I suppose. I've let you down too…do you think you can find it in your heart to still love me….to forgive me too..?"

Tara looked into Opie's eyes. "You were always a great dad Opie…you just didn't know how to show it some of the time. I didn't do anything but point out the obvious. You are the one that put in the work spending time with your kids. They are both really happy kids now. You are doing a great job with them." Tara paused and looked into his eyes. "Opie…how could you think that I don't love you? I've always loved you…and even if we are never together again in a romantic way I am always going to love you and I am always going to be there for you. I know things are strained between us right now. But I never meant to make you think that I don't love you. I am just going through a lot right now. I am scared that you aren't ready to be with me…that you aren't really ready to be a father to another child…and I don't want you doing those things just because you don't want to lose me…because if you do…you will just start to resent me….and that would kill me."

"I could never resent you Tara…I love you. I know that I didn't react well when you asked about moving in…and it was worse when you told me that you were pregnant but those were just my initial reactions. That wasn't how I felt overall. I just needed some time to make everything right in my head. I didn't handle the situation well but that doesn't mean that I don't want this baby more than anything else in this world. It is a piece of me and you….I just need you to give me a chance to show you that I can be a great father…I can be a great boyfriend. Just tell me how I can prove that to you and I will do it…" said Opie.

Tara said "There is no magic combination of actions that will make me believe that this is what you really want. You freaked out Opie…you accused me of doing this to trap you into a relationship. Hearing those words from your mouth….that you could even think that way about me…hurt. I just need some time baby…please don't try to rush me…I just need sometime. I need to be able to think this through…."

Opie stared at her. "You need to figure out if you still want to be with Jax….?"

"Well, yes that is part of it. I am not doing any of us any favors if I am not completely sure about what I want. And if that makes me a horrible person then…I am very sorry because I am not trying to be. I love you Opie and I would never try to intentionally hurt you. I just…I need to think about me and the baby first."

"This is why you should be with me. You are pregnant with my baby. Not Jax's baby and I don't want him raising my kid…" said Opie. This was a matter of love but also of pride. "I don't want him raising my kid."

"You have to know that I would never cut you out of our child's life…no matter what I decided to do…if you want to be a father to our baby Opie I am not going to stand in the way of that. I think it is wonderful. I know that you are a great dad. Our baby will be very lucky to have you in his or her life. But I can be with you for that reason only Opie. I want a good family…a happy family. One based on love and devotion…not love, fear, guilt…."

"Guilt?" asked Opie narrowing his eyes looking at her. "Are you trying to say that I am trying to guilt you into being with me?" yelled Opie. "I am just trying to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life. Jax hasn't changed one bit and you know that he hasn't. Sure he is giving you a good song and dance right now but you know as well as I do…the minute you take him back and things get rocky he'll go after another crow-eater. And you will be sitting around with egg on your face all over again. The only difference is this time…I will be right there to love you and let you know that I would never hurt you that way. You need to make a choice Tara…either you are going to be with me or you aren't. I love you Tara and I always have….just give me a chance."

The yelling made Tara jump slightly. "I didn't say that Opie…that isn't what I said." She wasn't afraid now she was just irritable that he had taken that tone with her. "I want you to leave now." said Tara. "Get out…."

Opie saw the look on her face and more importantly the look in her eyes. "Tara…I didn't mean for my yelling to scare you….I just got a little overzealous. I would never hurt you…I would never lay a wrong hand on you…you know that right…baby please tell me that you know that."

Tara nodded and said "Of course I know that Opie…I don't think you would hurt me…I just…I need some time alone. I need to lay down I don't feel very well…and I think I won't be able to rest if you are here…we will just end up talking because we have so much to talk about."

Opie nodded slightly. He kissed her softly. "I am so sorry baby…I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I just…I'm sorry." He kissed her again. "I just wish that you would let me take you home and take care of you. I hate knowing that you are here with him…and I know that as soon as I leave he will be right back in this room with you…or at least trying to be. Maybe I am going about this all wrong…maybe you do need to spend time with both of us…so that you can remember why you do love me so much. Jax and I talked about it earlier." Opie kissed her softly. He saw the look on her face and she did look sick. He didn't want to be the cause of her being stressed out. He was determined to reevaluate his approach. "I'll let you get some rest…I will see you later." Opie put on his boots and his cut and left

Tara watched him leave and took in a deep breath. She did love the man. She knew that he was passionate about the issue because he loved her and didn't want to lose her to Jax. He was right that Jax hadn't really changed and he would most likely cheat on her to again. She smiled a little. She had never seen Opie be so emotional about anything really. He had managed to get on her nerves but maybe he was the right man for her. The very reason she didn't want him around was the very reason why she should be with him. She knew if she decided not to be with Opie it would hurt him. She couldn't say the same for Jax. That said it all right there really…Opie loved her. Opie needed her in his life and she realized that she needed Opie too. But she wondered if he was really ready to be in a committed relationship with her or had he rushed to the decision because he was scared of losing her. But she still had this nagging feeling that Jax might be the right person too. Not all relationships were perfect but there was an undeniable link between Jax and Tara. They always seemed to find their way back to one another. In a way she felt like a part of her was always going to belong to Jax. She wondered if she could love someone else while a piece of her belonged to another man.


	29. Chapter 29

Tara ate breakfast even though it had cooled off. Afterward she got up and got a shower and dressed in a pair of navy blue pajama bottoms and a tank top. Tara made her bed and then put on her house shoes. She took a deep breath and then went to the kitchen and put her plate in the dishwasher. Tara wasn't really ready to talk to Jax at the moment. She was hoping that he wasn't there right now. She just needed some time to think. She looked at the coffee pot longingly and groaned softly. "I love coffee..." said Tara with a sigh.

Gemma walked into the kitchen hearing her. She laughed and said "I had Neeta pick up some decaffeinated coffee yesterday. It isn't as good as the real stuff but it is the best that I can do. Are you feeling okay? Physical that is? You didn't come back for breakfast this morning. Jax and Opie did more staring at the doorway waiting for you to walk in than they did eating or talking." Gemma poured herself the last cup of coffee and then started up a pot for Tara. "Jax left for the club with Clay. I think he needed to get his mind off of worrying about you. That and they have a lead on the person who caused the accident. Although both of them are staying quiet with me on the issue. You can go and have a seat and I will take care of your coffee..." said Gemma.

"Thanks Gemma." said Tara walking over and having a seat. "I was going to come back and then...I thought about sitting at the table with Opie and Jax and it felt like my stomach was being twisted up in knots. I thought I was going to throw up. The stress I think...it's too hard...with Opie. He looks at me like...I'm going to break his heart if I say...I don't want him anymore. And it makes me feel like this horrible bitch...I told him that I loved him and that I wanted to be with him...and now I am turning my back on him and going back to Jax...things are just...easier with Jax...I just feel safe with Jax like everything is going to be okay. He wants to be with me...he wants to be a father to the baby. He just seems like the right choice..." said Tara but there was doubt in her voice.

"You know that I love Jackson more than anything in this world. That boy is everything to me...everything. But let me tell you something, he is a man. And maybe...just maybe you are building Jax up in your head and not considering all of the bad things, because he's being exactly what you need right now. I don't doubt that you love the hell out of my son. I am just saying don't build him to be something he isn't because he'll let you down and you will be right back where you started. When you've been away from someone for awhile it is easy to remember all of the good things about them. Right now he is like your knight in shining armor...he saved you and your baby. He's been spending time with you. If you want to be with Jax then I think it is wonderful. But I want you to make the right decision...don't do anything that you are going to regret..." Gemma poured Tara's cup of coffee and walked over to the table having a seat with her.

"So you think that I should be with Opie?" asked Tara. "I mean I love him I just don't want to hurt him and I don't want to hurt his kids. He was telling me that they missed me and Ellie drew a picture for me. Talking to Opie this morning made me remember all of the good things about him. The dreams I had about the life we could have together. But at the same time he was sort of a jerk." Tara drank some of her coffee looking over at Gemma.

"I am going to say this with love...you need to man up and get your shit together. I cannot and will not tell you who to choose because frankly I really don't know whether Jax or Opie is a better fit for you. What I do know is that you need to make a decision and you need be sure about your decision. You aren't going to have another bite at the apple. I think you know which of them you want to be with but you are scared about making the decision. Well, you are a big girl and sometimes you have to make the hard choice. But the longer you draw this out the more that you twist Jax and Opie up...the more you twist the two of them up the more you are causing trouble for the club...and no one causes trouble for the club. You are a smart girl...you are strong...you aren't some helpless shrinking flower. You've gotta settle this for them...they can't do it...they'll fight it out...and neither will be satisfied with the outcome." said Gemma.

Tara was pissed at Gemma for talking to her that way. "Thanks for the coffee Gemma." She got up and left the kitchen. She walked out on the patio needing some fresh air. She was angry for a number of reasons. Chief among them was the fact that she knew that Gemma was right and that pissed her off more than anything. She was currently in a hell of her own making and now she needed to be the adult in the situation and fix it for herself before the decision was out of her hands. Tara knew what man she wanted to be with. That was clear to her but she was scared that it wouldn't work out and she wouldn't have another opportunity to make the right choice if this was the wrong choice. She took in a deep breath to steady her nerves. She would have to be the mature one and call Opie. But first she was going to take a much needed nap. Tara walked to the bedroom and curled up in the bed.

Tara woke up a couple of hours later and glanced at the clock. She knew that she couldn't put off calling Opie any longer than she already had. But she felt better having gotten a good nap. Tara picked up the phone in the bedroom and dialed Opie's phone number. She lightly chewed her lip as the phone rang.

"Hello?' asked Opie. He was in his garage working on his bike. He didn't go in to work he was too wired at the moment and Clay had understood that.

"Hi, Opie. I was wondering if you were busy right now. I am feeling better than I was earlier and I was just thinking that if you weren't busy that maybe we could spend some time together. And it doesn't have to be here or anything. We could go over to my house or something." said Tara.

"I am sort of shocked that you called. I got the distinct feeling this morning that you didn't want me around you at all. I hope I didn't put any pressure on you or anything like that Tara." said Opie cradling the phone between his ear and his shoulder. He cleaned the grease from his hands with a rag and stood up.

"I am sorry I gave you that impression this morning, Opie. I just had a lot on my mind and to be honest I was not feeling my best. But I have had the chance to get some rest and I am feeling more like myself." said Tara.

Opie was quiet for a moment and responded. "I'd love to spend some time with you Tara. You don't know just how hard it was for me to leave you there this morning. Why don't I come and pick you up and we can go to your house for a couple of hours and spend some time alone…just the two of us. I think…we needed that."

"I'd love that Opie. When do you want to come and pick me? That way I can be ready to go when you get here. I am still in my pajamas right now. They are the most comfortable thing I have to wear over here." said Tara looking down at her pajamas.

He chuckled and said "I am just picking you up and taking you to your house. There is no real reason that you need to change clothes. Just put on some shoes and I will be there in about 30 minutes, ok?"

"I guess you have a point about that. It just seems weird leaving the house in the daytime in my pajamas. Okay I will see you in 30 minutes then. I love you Ope…bye." said Tara.

"I love you too Tara…I will see you soon." said Opie.

She hung up and pulled herself out of the bed. She found a pair of flip flops and slipped them onto her feet. She walked out of the bedroom and headed to the living room. She spotted Gemma sitting on the couch in the living room.

Gemma looked up seeing Tara walk into the room. "How are you feeling sweetheart? Do you need anything?" asked Gemma.

Tara said "I am feeling okay…Opie is coming over to pick me up. Oh, no I don't need anything but thank you for asking. I am so sorry for walking off the way I did. I was just...angry at you for telling me the truth. You are right I have to make a decision. I guess I keep hoping if someone else makes it for me then no matter what happens it won't be my fault. And you were also right when you said…that I already knew who I wanted to be with. You had me dead to rights."

Gemma laughed softly and said "I figured that I had struck a chord in you when you walked off. But I would be doing you a disservice if I wasn't real with you. It is never easy being between two men that love you and that you love back."

"Well, I just wanted to apologize to you. I was rude to you when you were just trying to help. And more than that you took me into your home. No questions asked…if it weren't for your kindness I'd be at home on my own. So I just want to thank you." said Tara looking to Gemma.

"You don't have to thank me Tara. As much as I was against you being with Jax when the two of you were teenagers you've grown on me over the years. I know you worry about being alone. But we are your family and don't you forget it. Whether you are with Jax or not…I am going to look at this baby as my newest grandchild." said Gemma with a smile. "So I see shoes on your feet…." said Gemma with a knowing smile.

Tara hugged Gemma and smiled. "Thank you." She looked down at her flip-flops and laughed. "Well, I took a nap and when I woke up I decided to give Opie a call to ask if we could spend some time together. He agreed so he is going to pick me up and we are going to spend a couple of hours over at my house alone. It makes no sense to shut myself off from him."

"Well, I am glad to see that you are making an effort. Opie is a silly man at times but he loves you. I am glad that the two of you are going to spend some time together. Do you think you will be back for dinner?" asked Gemma.

"Oh, yeah I think so. I was just thinking that I would spend a couple of hours with him…maybe talk but mostly just…spend some time with him. I know I hurt him this morning when I didn't want him around. And I tried to hide it but he picked up on it. Of course he is really hurt that I had sex with Jax. It was like a serious betrayal." said Tara.

Gemma laughed and said "Sometimes men aren't as stupid as we would believe them to be. But don't beat yourself up about it. You just needed a little space." Gemma didn't add that of course Opie had done some pretty serious betrayal of his own. She would keep her mouth shut about it for now but she wasn't going to let Tara go into the situation blindly.

A few minutes later Opie knocked on the door. It had taken him longer than he expected to get things ready but he wanted to surprise Tara. He waited at the door for someone to answer.

Tara opened the door and smiled. "Hi, Opie."

"Are you ready to go?" asked Opie kissing her softly.

Tara nodded and said "I am ready." She pulled on a sweater and walked out of the door with him.

Opie walked out to the truck with her and opened the door.

Tara climbed in and put her seatbelt on. She smelled food and groaned. She should have eaten lunch she was hungry.

Opie climbed into the truck and put on his seatbelt. He drove off toward Tara's house. Opie didn't know exactly what to say to her at the moment there were a lot of things he wanted to say but he didn't want to start off on a serious note. He said "I stopped off to pick up lunch for the two of us. Sorry if you were waiting a long time?"

"That is really sweet of you. I am hungry so that is great. Oh no it is fine. I was sitting with Gemma and talking while I waited on you. She has really been a help through all of this." said Tara.

He smiled and said "Good, I am glad I stopped then." He smirked to himself thinking that it was going well. He pulled up in Tara's driveway and parked. "Well, here we are." He smiled at her and got out of the truck grabbing the back from the dinner as well as another bag and some flowers.

Tara got out of the truck and smiled seeing the flowers. "Ope…those are beautiful…and my favorite." said Tara walking over to him. She sniffed the flowers. "They smell amazing Opie." said Tara.

"I wanted to do something special for you. I know…that I've been a jerk and…well I just wanted you to know that I love you and I figured...maybe I should show it instead of just saying it." said Opie.

Tara grinned and leaned up kissing him. "You are such a sweet man Harry Winston…what would I do without you?" She smiled wand walked up to the front door and unlocked it. She walked into the house and it felt strange. She hadn't been here since the night of the accident. She walked over to the window opening the curtains to let some sun into the darkened living room.

"Why don't you put your feet up and I will get some plates to put our lunch on." said Opie. He saw the look on her face and wondered if coming here had been a bad idea.

"Oh no…that isn't necessary. Just grab some silverware from the drawer in the kitchen." said Tara. She said "I'll be back in a few minutes." Tara walked into the bedroom remembering her time there with Jax. She looked toward the bathroom door and walked in. She looked at the shower and just stood there for a few minutes.

Opie set their food and the flowers on the table and walked into the kitchen grabbing silverware and water for her and a beer for him. He walked back into the living room and had a seat on the couch waiting for Tara to join him. He waited for a few minutes and wondered what she was doing. Opie walked to her bedroom and then walked to the bathroom. He saw her staring at the shower floor. "Gemma…asked me to give the shower a good scrub…" explained Opie.

Tara nodded and said "Oh….okay….thank you. Was there a lot of blood?"

Opie said "No, but I am guessing the water from the shower washed most of it away…Gemma just thought having the shower scrubbed might make you feel better…" He put his arms around her. "You going to be okay?"

Tara took in a breath and nodded. "Sure…I will be okay just…I haven't been back here and it is just strange knowing this is the place where I almost…"

Opie stopped her and said "But you didn't….and as much as I hate that you and Jax were together…I am glad that he was here. He saved you and our baby. Come on…let's go eat lunch. You said that you were hungry." Opie steered her away from the bathroom and back into the living room.

Tara had a seat on the couch and put her feet up. She was feeling tired all over again but she didn't want to tell Opie that and give him the impression that she was trying to give him the brush off again. Tara tried to put the bathroom out of her mind and said "So what is for lunch. The pregnant woman is hungry."

Opie smiled and said "I picked up the steak lunch for you. I know how much you like steak from the dinner. I picked up the same thing for you." Opie handed her the Styrofoam container and the silverware he had retrieved from the kitchen.

"Thanks for picking up lunch Opie." said Tara. She started eating the steak and baked potato. "Oh…this is good very good." said Tara happily. She looked over at the flowers and said "Oh! I should put them into some water. Well…I guess it can wait until I get back to Gemma's house."

"So how long are you going to be staying with Clay and Gemma?" asked Opie curiously. He didn't like the idea of her being in the same house with Jax. But he was in no position to make any demands of her.

Tara said "I don't know…definitely for this week. Then I have a check up with my obstetrician. If he thinks that I am doing better, then I can probably come back home. But so far I haven't had a lot of trouble or anything…just some minor stuff…but to be honest I like staying there with Gemma. It is nice not being here alone. And she looks out for me. She is like that mother figure you know."

"Like what?" asked Opie looking at her. "I men…if something is going on with you and the baby I want to know." said Opie reaching over and lightly caressing her face.

"It is nothing serious Opie. And we are eating this isn't the time to say anything like that. We can talk more after we eat lunch." said Tara. She smiled feeling how gentle Opie was being with her. It was amazing that a man of such strength could also be so tender when he wanted to be.

Opie nodded and said "fair enough…but after we eat lunch I want to talk about you and the baby." He kissed her forehead and settled in eating. "So the kids had a really good time at the cottage with Pops and mom. They want to go up there with them again. I think I might go up for a day too with them and do some fishing. Maybe you'd like to come too?"

"That is great that they had such a good time. But I figured that they would. Piney and Mary both try to be good grandparents to Kenny and Ellie. I think I might like that. I am not very good at fishing but you could teach me." said Tara with a smile.

"Well, it is good that they want to be good grandparents. But sometimes it makes me wish that he had been better parents to me. I'd like that…there isn't much to it. I usually just enjoy the peace and quiet of it. Nothing but you…a couple of cold beers and the fish." said Opie. He looked at her stomach and winked. "Though you will have to forgo the cold beers for awhile."

"Baby….being a grandparent is easier…you know...and they are older now…doesn't mean that they don't love you. Because you know they do." Tara laughed and said "yeah…so when we leave you can take the rest of the beer from the fridge. No sense of it sitting there and staring at me. I actually had to drink decaf coffee this morning I wasn't cool with that at all. But fishing sounds fun…as long as you bait my hook."

He nodded and said "Yeah I know…problem is…that I didn't always know when I was a kid. Didn't know if he loved one another either. I want things to be different for Kenny, Ellie, and the baby. I want them to know that we love each of them…and that we love one another too." He laughed and said "That sounds dirty but yeah I will bait your hook baby. And don't worry I will take the beer with me. I can never have too much beer in my fridge when Pops is there. He drinks like a fish when he feels like it."

"I don't think that is too much to ask…kids need that stability. They need to feel safe and loved. We can give them that…no matter how things work out Opie…I love Kenny and Ellie and I will always help out and be there for them if they need me." said Tara. She shook her head and slapped his arm. "You are a pervert and you won't be baiting my hook for awhile."

"Thanks for being there for me and the kids Tara." said Opie as he finished eating his lunch. He looked at her and chuckled and said "Are we still talking about fishing or are we talking about sex now?"

"We are talking about sex now." said Tara laughing. "No sex until I get cleared by the doctor which could be another week at least."

Opie raised an eyebrow and asked "So you are saying…if you could have sex with me you would have sex with me?"

Tara blushed and thought about the question. "Well, sure…I mean you know how I feel about you. And you've never disappointed me in the sack."

He smirked and said "That is for damn sure. I am the Ron Jeremy of love babe."

Tara scrunched up her face and laughed. "Ron Jeremy is not hot! And he can do stuff to himself that makes women unnecessary. You are not really making a good case."

Opie laughed and said "Okay…okay…maybe not Ron Jeremy. Okay the Jose Canseco."

Tara frowned and said "Isn't he like a suspected wife batterer?"

Opie laughed and said "I am not doing so good am I….okay I am like Bill Clinton?"

"You are getting blowjobs from interns? The only interns the club has are prospects. And if you are getting blowjobs from the prospects we got a whole other set of problems." said Tara laughing hard.

Opie shook his head and said "Okay I give!"

Tara chuckled and said "You are the only person I want you to be baby. You are an amazing man. You are loving and sweet…romantic when you try to be. You are a good friend and a good father. You are a good son to your crazy ass parents. Great mechanic…great in the sack."

Opie smirked and said "So essentially you are saying that I am awesome…thanks for that." He winked at her.

"Now don't go getting an inflated ego." Tara laughed softly and finished eating lunch. She set the Styrofoam container out of the way. "That was great Opie. Thank you for lunch."

Opie chuckled and said "I can't believe you polished off a baked potato, roll, Caesar salad, and a 12 ounce ribeye steak."

Tara chuckled and said "What? I was hungry…I told you that….actually could you go see if there is any ice cream in the freezer…and see if there are any cookies left."

Opie laughed and said "Uh…Okay…you are still hungry."

"Just a little…" said Tara laughing.

Opie shook his head. "This is going to be a long nine months." He laughed.


	30. Chapter 30

Opie listened to the music and said "I love this song…come on you used to love it too. Extreme's More Than Words. Dance with me." Opie stood up and offered her his hand. There was a twinkle in his eye as he uttered those words to Tara.

Tara laughed and said "Opie I am supposed to be resting…I can't dance right now…but you are right…I used to love this song…more than words is right on the money…it takes more than just telling someone you love them for it to be true…they have to be able to show it…prove it with actions…"

Opie said "I know I haven't done a good job of proving it baby but I am going to make it up to you. If you can't stand on your own two feet then I will do the dancing for both of us." Opie lifted Tara up into his arms and swayed with her to the music. "More than words to show you feel that your love for me is real…what would you say if I took those words away?" Opie swayed with her humming the music against her ear.

Tara couldn't help but smile. She chuckled softly listening to Opie's singing voice. "You have a good voice Opie." whispered Tara as she rested in his arms. She giggled softly as the song ended. "Okay put me down." said Tara laughing.

Opie smirked and said "What if I don't want to put you down? What if I want to keep dancing with you?" Opie liked hearing Tara laugh. He liked seeing the way a real smile seemed to light up her entire face.

"You've got to put me down some time Opie. Your arms will tire out, I am heavy." said Tara laughing. She was definitely enjoying her time with Opie. This was the light side of him that she had been missing. She missed when they were playful with one another. She missed being his friend. Being his girlfriend was so much more complicated.

Opie laughed and said "You are not that heavy. I don't think my arms will be getting tired anytime in the near future besides…I like this song too." The two of them danced for nearly 30 minutes. Opie didn't want to put her down. This was the most he had seen her smile at him in awhile and it made him feel good. Finally he sat her back down on the couch and smiled at her. "Thank you for dancing with me. You are an amazing dancer." Opie had a seat at the other end of the couch.

"I had a great time dancing with you." said Tara laughing softly since her feet never touched the floor. Tara relaxed on the couch her legs stretched out across it and her feet resting in Opie's lap. She sighed happily as Opie massaged her feet. "You know you are pretty good at that. I will have to remember it for the future when my feet and ankles are all swollen." Tara smiled softly looking over at Opie. She really did love the man despite his reaction to commitment. But that still worried her. She didn't know if he wanted to be with her because he loved her or because he was afraid of losing her. "You know that no matter what happens I will always be there for you right?" asked Tara slightly out of the blue.

Opie looked over at her and chuckled and said "Well, I've been known to give a massage or two in my day." He quieted down and just massaged her feet. He looked up when she spoke again. Opie said "I am not sure that I do…when you get pissed you get really pissed. I mean there was no talking to you the other day. I am not really used to see you that way."

"Well, it was upsetting to think that the man that I love…isn't so sure that he loves me too." said Tara. She saw Opie trying to interrupt and she shook her head. "Give me a minute…I need to say this…okay?" Tara took in a deep breath and collected herself. "Opie, I love you and I have for a very long time. You are one of my best friends and I've always believed that I could count on you…I felt that way even more once we were in a relationship together. You were okay with me staying at your house every night, taking care of your kids, looking after your parents, but when I talked to you about moving in you made it seem like I was a nut job that was moving too quickly. And then the way you reacted about me being pregnant….Opie. You are right I was mad as hell at you because I felt like an idiot. I thought we were going somewhere and instead I found out that what you really wanted was a nanny-maid-sex partner. Well, I want more than that…I deserve more than that. And now all of a sudden you want to be with me and you are oh so devoted but for what reason? Are you suddenly madly in love with me or do you want to be with me because you realize that Jax wants me back?" said Tara staring at him.

"Tara, I do love you and I have loved you for a very long time. I just never made a move on you because you were Jax's girl. And let's be honest all of the girls wanted Jax. So I won't lie there is some jealousy knowing that you had sex with Jax. But that isn't why I am here with you right now. I am here because I love you and I made a mistake. I was scared of what you moving in meant. Because it meant that I had to move on completely. And in my crazy mind it felt like I wasn't honoring Donna's memory by moving on so quickly. I know that might sound stupid to you, but that is really what I felt when you talked about moving in. It was sort of like...she hasn't even been dead a year and I am forcing her completely out of my life. And then when you told me about you being pregnant it just made it that much worse because not only am I moving on but I am starting a family with you…it is like wiping out Donna completely. But I do love you and I want to be with you."

"Ope…I'm sorry that me being with Jax hurt you. And in the scheme of things I know that it was wrong. I was upset, hurt, and lonely and Jax was there to be the shoulder that I needed. It should have stopped there and it didn't and I am sorry. I would never want to make you insecure about how I feel about you." said Tara. "And I understand how much you love Donna and by no means am I trying to take her place in your life. And she could never completely be gone from your life Opie. You love her and you were married to her. She gave you two beautiful children…no matter how long she is gone…and how much your life changes…she will always be a part of you and the kids. I know how hard moving on has been for you. Hell, we couldn't even sleep in the bed you shared with her because it was too painful for you. I guess I just didn't realize how much you were still struggling with Donna's death, because you didn't tell me. Which I think is all the more reason for the two of us not to get back together right now. You still have some healing to do…some grieving. You need to be able to have the space to do that. I am not going anywhere. I am still your friend and I still love you." said Tara. Her heart broke a little as the words slipped from her lips.

"I forgive you for sleeping Jax. I didn't tell you that I was still grieving because…I don't like talking about Donna. It is hard for me to think about her…let alone talk about her. Her dying destroyed me…nearly killed me. In some ways her death made me want to die. I am still working on being okay with the fact that she is dead and I am alive." Opie shook his head and said "I don't want to be without you Tara and we both know that if you and I aren't together you will go back to Jax. I want the two of us to be together and work this out together…not apart. You are trying to push me away because you are afraid that I am going to hurt you again but I am not going to let you do that. You are stuck with me baby…I am not going anywhere and we can take however long you need to realize that. Sure I am still grieving for Donna but that doesn't mean I want to lose you in the process." He leaned over and kissed her softly. He gently ran his thumb over her bottom lip. "We are going to have a baby together and I fully intend for the two of us to raise this baby together."

"Opie…you are saying what I want to hear but the fact is that you are still grieving. I don't want you to wake up one day and resent me for this. I think we need to take our time. We are always going to be a part of one another's lives…I am pregnant with your child." said Tara.

"Well, I don't want to take my time. I love you and I love this baby." said Opie. He reached over and lightly rubbed her stomach. "I know you are scared but you have to give me chance Tara. You've got to give me a chance to make this right between us. When you are off of bed rest I'd really like for you to come and stay with me again….permanently. I want you to move in Tara. You still love me right….? Even though I was an idiot?"

Tara looked at Opie and said "I need some time to think about this Opie, but I do love you. I want to take my time I can't rush into a decision just yet. And you shouldn't want me to rush either. I need to be sure that I am making the right choice…the right choice for everyone."

Opie nodded and said "Fair enough." He leaned closer and kissed her softly on the lips. His hand cradled her face as he kissed her. Afterward he pulled back and gently tucked her hair behind her ear. "I love you and I can wait." said Opie looking into her eyes. "You look beautiful you know that? Does this count as a date?"

Tara was left a little breathless after the kiss. "Thank you Opie…that means a lot to me." said Tara with a smile. Tara rested her hand on her stomach for a moment. She looked over at Opie. "You think I look beautiful in a pair of old pajamas? I think we can count it as a date if you'd like to. You fed me and gave me a massage…sounds like a date…a pretty good one actually." She laughed.

He smirked and said "Well, I am the romantic sort. I was thinking that I wanted to start working on a gift for you and the baby. I should probably start on it now because I don't have a lot of free time. But before I can start I wanted to know what kind of wood would you like for me to use?" Opie had spent part of the previous night drawing a crib design.

Tara said "What kind of gift? Wood? I don't really know anything about wood…I mean other than woodchucks chuck it." She laughed and said "What are you up to Winston?" She laughed softly looking at him wondering what in the world he was up to. He had a smirk on his face and that always let Tara know he was up to something.

Opie laughed and said "Woodchucks? Is that even a real animal? Well, I wanted to work on a crib for the baby. I think I have enough time to finish it before he or she is born. Money was a lot scarcer when Kenny and Ellie were born…but this time around I have more money and I'd really like to do this for our baby. So what do you say? Are you okay with me building a crib for our baby?"

Tara was surprised but she grinned. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Opie and then kissed him. "I think that is an amazing idea Opie. You are such a sweet man when you want to be. I don't know a lot about wood, so whatever you want to use is okay with me. I didn't know you could build stuff. I guess there are some things I don't know about you still. That just means there is more of you for me to get to know."

"Well, I was thinking of using something like oak and we can stain it whatever color you want when it comes time to decorate the baby's room." said Opie kissing her cheek. "Well, Pops taught me how to make chairs and a table. I'm pretty sure I can put together a great crib. I will probably get Pops to help me out some too."

Tara smiled and said "This is so great Opie! I can't wait to see it. I can come by and help too if you want me to? I have so many ideas for how to decorate the baby's room. I want everything to be perfect. Baby's room? I guess that is something we hadn't really thought of either…where would the baby sleep at your house?"

He chuckled and said "if you help me then it wouldn't actually be a surprise. I want to do something special for you and the baby. I think you will be surprised and I think that you will like it. Well, I guess I hadn't really thought of that either. I mean I guess when they baby is first born he or she could sleep in the bedroom with us…but…that will get old really quickly." Opie sat there in thought wondering what they would do once the baby was born.

Tara saw the wheels in his head turning. She reached over and touched his arm. "We have time to think about everything Opie. We don't have to worry about it right now…we've got time…to figure it all out. Lying in the bed at Gemma's has made me want to go crazy shopping for the baby. But I want to wait until we know the gender of the baby. And then I can go crazy buying cute little baby clothes and toys and furniture and everything. I want this baby to have everything. After…Kohn I didn't know if…I'd ever get pregnant again and now that I am…I just want to enjoy it. It should be the happiest part of a woman's life and I am going to make sure that it is for me."

"What is there to figure out…the bottom line is that we are going to need a bigger place. It isn't like the baby can share a room with Kenny or Ellie. We'll need to look at finding a new place that will fit our family…" said Opie looking at Tara. This was a big move for him they would have to buy a place together. He had never even considered the fact that they would need more room for a baby. The idea of selling the home that he shared with Donna scared the hell out of him. But he felt like if he expressed that to Tara that she would be hurt all over again. He fell silent sitting there for several minutes.

Tara watched him sitting there stoically. "Opie…we aren't even back together yet. I don't want you doing anything major like that until we are sure about everything. For now we will just play everything by ear. It is still early on in the pregnancy…if it weren't for the accident I would have really liked to keep the pregnancy quiet. So much can go wrong in the early stages. We've already had a scare. All of this might be unnecessary." She rubbed her stomach a little. She could see the slight look of panic on his face. "I'd like to go back to Gemma and Clay's house now." Tara pulled herself up from the couch and slid her feet into her shoes.

Opie said "Tara…calm down please. There is no reason for our date to end right now. Why are you so upset? Talk to me instead of trying to run away from me!" He stood up and gently grabbed her arms to keep her from fleeing. "Talk to me Tara….Instead of running away from one another we need to talk to one another about this stuff...or we will both end up doing things that we regret...we really don't want a replay of the other night...so please...don't run away from me...talk to me. I am right here Tara." said Opie looking into her eyes. Opie had his own guilt over not telling her about his threesome. But he was worried that she wouldn't forgive him even though she had slept with someone else too.

Tara sighed softly. She knew that he was right about the running away part. "Okay...okay...you are right Opie. Running away isn't the answer in this situation. I just...I don't to fight with you." Tara sat back down on the couch curling her legs under her. She looked over at Opie waiting for him to sit down as well.

Opie sighed in relief that she wasn't going to leave. Opie had a seat on the couch and turned so that he could look at her. "I love you Tara...please don't be angry with me for loving Donna too..." Opie didn't know how else to say it to her.

Tara lightly caressed his cheek her fingers touching his beard in the process. "I love you Opie...I am not angry at you for loving Donna. She is your wife and you were with her for a very long time...and she was taken from you and the children much too soon. And you and I got serious much too soon. But we can't change the past…all we can do is look forward and decide what we want to do from here. The last thing I want to do is rush you into something you aren't ready for. I think we are over thinking all of this. We have months before the baby arrives. And even after the baby is born we have at least a year before we'd just have to find a place for the baby to have a room of his or her own right? Your bedroom at the house is big enough to fit everything that we would need for the baby. So let's just calm down and enjoy the pregnancy instead of worrying about what is next okay?" She kissed him softly.

Opie caressed her cheek and smiled looking into her eyes. "You know…you are a smart one. That is what we have to do…don't get ahead of ourselves…I love you babe."

"I got you babe." said Tara with a giggle.


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: I want to say that I am very sorry for the delay of this chapter. But to make up for it I am posting two chapters at once. I love reading your reviews so please keep them coming!

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As Opie and Tara relaxed on her couch Opie's cell phone started to ring. Opie fished it out of his pocket and glanced at the caller ID. He frowned realizing that it was Sheila. Opie hit ignore and stuffed it back into his pocket casually. At least he thought that it looked casual...in actuality he looked pissed. he was regretting having given her his cell phone number at the moment.

Tara looked at Opie curiously. She wondered if it was Jax calling him. She couldn't think of anyone else that Opie could be that angry at right now. "Was it Jax?" asked Tara looking at him. She reached for the remote and paused the movie.

Opie chuckled and said "Oh...it was just Juice...I will call him back later on tonight. Right now I am spending time with you." He smiled warmly at her and went back to massaging her feet and watching the movie that was on the TV at the moment. Opie smiled to himself confident that he had allayed her suspicions.

Tara on the other hand was watching Opie intently. She found his entire demeanor to be strange at the moment. The smile that he felt was warm was actually nervous in Tara's opinion. She didn't believe him. Tara shook her head as if to dislodge the thoughts rattling around in her mind. The one thing she could not stand was a man that lied or cheated. But she knew that Opie wasn't that sort of man...right? She turned her attention back to the TV.

Opie's cell phone rang again and he quickly hit ignore. He chuckled looking over at Tara. "Juice just won't give up tonight." He shifted uncomfortably and stared at the television praying silently that Sheila would get the hint and leave him alone. But a few seconds later she was ringing his phone again. Opie hit ignore angrily and stared at the television intensely as if he could will his phone to stop ringing. He wanted to put it on silent but he felt like that would look suspicious. The phone started ringing yet again.

"Ope...just answer the phone. If you don't Juice is going to continue to call and I am never going to get to finish watching my movie." said Tara. She was staring at him with what could only be called a glare. She wasn't buying that it was Juice that was calling Opie. If Juice was calling that often Opie would just answer the phone because it could mean that something was going on with the club.

"Oh...uh okay." said Opie. He answered the phone angrily. "What do you want?" hissed Opie in his deep voice. "Whatever it is it can wait until later. I am busy right now." said Opie. He was trying not to let his frustration show but he was doing a horrible job at it.

"But Opie...I miss you...and we never really got to finish what we started the other night. I was thinking that you could come over tonight and I could show you a very nice time...Natalie wouldn't mind joining us again..You said the doctor is on bed rest right...so she can't possibly be giving you what you need right now...just think of me as a supplemental aid." said Sheila in a seductive voice.

Opie didn't want to admit it but it was a tempting offer. He had went from getting sex everyday to the point now where he wasn't sure when he'd be having sex again. "Sorry I can't tonight I am busy...but maybe some other time." said Opie shaking his head. He was getting nervous sitting there next to Tara talking to Sheila. "I'll talk to you tomorrow or something...but no more calling tonight, right?"

Sheila smirked on her end of the phone and said "Of course...no more calling for the night. But I expect to hear from you tomorrow Opie..." She hung up.

Opie let out a sigh of relief and relaxed again. He set his phone down. "I am sorry about all of the interruptions Tara...why don't we finish watching the movie now. Juice was just excited to tell me about some new hack he learned or whatever. You know how he can be like and excited Chihuahua."

Tara was staring at him intently trying not to get angry. She nodded and said "Sure...we'll watch the movie." She unpaused the movie and stared at the screen but she could feel her jaw tightening. She didn't believe a word that had just fallen out of Opie's mouth. She tried to not even look in his direction.

A few minutes later Opie's cell phone chimed letting him know that he had just received a text message. Opie took out his cell phone and his eyes trailed over the message. There was no text just a naked picture snapped with a camera phone. Opie felt himself smirk seeing it. He was a guy he couldn't help it that he liked looking at naked women. Opie's fingers nervously...clumsily attempted to get out of his messages. He cleared his throat nervously. His fingers flew over the keys sending Sheila a message * Cut it out*. He looked at Tara and said "Sorry...Juice again..." He set the phone next to him on the couch.

Tara looked over at Opie seriously getting pissed off. She didn't like being lied to like she was some sort of idiot. She had no idea who was really contacting him but she knew one thing it wasn't Juice. The longer she sat there the more angry she became. Her entire body tensed and she felt her hands curling into fists.

Opie's phone chimed again letting him know he had another message.

Tara snatched the phone from the couch before he could get it. Tara opened the text message and just stared at the screen. It was yet another naked picture from Sheila. "Are you kidding me?" asked Tara. "Are you sleeping with her? The same bitch that I got into a fight with? Don't answer that question it will just be another lie from your mouth! Get out of my house Opie." said Tara moving her feet off of his lap. "Get out right now."

"Tara...wait a minute. It isn't what you think...I mean...Sheila is...you know how she is. She's just a croweater." said Opie. His mind couldn't think of an excuse fast enough. "No I am not sleeping with her."

"How does she have your cell phone number Opie?" asked Tara seriously. She stood up from the couch her hands perched on her hips. She stared at him with a glare that could have burned holes through a brick wall.

"I don't know. I guess one of the guys gave it to her..." said Opie blurting out the first lie to came to his mind.

"You are so full of shit! Her number is programmed into your phone jackass!" said Tara looking at the phone. She started going through his text messages.

"What are you doing?"asked Opie watching her.

"Just trying to see how much you and Sheila talk to one another." said Tara glaring at him.

Opie stood up and tried to snatch the phone from her hands but she had a death grip on the phone. He couldn't remember if he had deleted all of the old text messages or not. "You are acting crazy Tara. Sheila is just some croweater it's no big deal. And you aren't even my old lady right now."

"If it is no big deal then why did you sit here and lie to my face Opie?" yelled Tara. "I hate liars...you know that. I'd rather you be honest about whatever it is...you are doing with that slut." said Tara with disdain. Her face was flush with anger.

"Because I didn't want you to act like this!" yelled Opie. Opie grabbed her wrist and snatched the phone from her hand.

"Get out Opie!" said Tara feeling her temper flaring. She couldn't believe he was seeing Sheila behind her back.

"I am not leaving until we talk about this. Besides I have to take you back to Clay and Gemma's." said Opie. He walked over to her and pulled her into his arms. "Come here..." Opie's cell phone chimed again letter him know he had another message.

Tara pulled back feeling tears collect in her eyes. "If you can't be a man and tell me the truth then I don't want you here. Get out of my house Opie." said Tara pulling away from him. She walked to the door and opened it for him. She stood there impatiently. "Goodbye Opie."

"I am not leaving! You want the truth! Fine I will tell you the truth. After we broke up I slept with Sheila and Natalie at the club. But you aren't exactly innocent either. Because you were screwing Jax...so it looks like we are even. Except we can never be even because you fucked my best friend. Hell you are staying with Gemma and Clay you are probably still fucking Jax." said Opie in a harsher voice than he had intended.

Those words hurt a lot more than Tara could have anticipated. She took in a pained breath and smiled at Opie. "I am glad to know that is how you feel Opie...that you are secretly resenting me...lying to my face that you can forgive me when you know that you can't. But it's good...you can go and be with Sheila...oh wait...she's fucked Jax too hasn't she?" "We're done Opie. And this doesn't have anything to do with Jax...this is all about you."

Opie threw his hands up in frustration and walked out of the house slamming the door behind him.

Tara walked over to the door and locked it. She wasn't going to cry she was done. She walked over to the couch having a seat. She wasn't feeling good. She picked up the phone. She dialed Gemma's number.

"Hello?" asked Gemma. Gemma was sitting at home with Clay, Jax, and Abel for the evening. She had been wondering when Opie would be bringing Tara back.

"Gemma...I was wondering if...you could come and pick me up from my house. I mean if you aren't busy or anything like that." said Tara. "I'm really not feeling good. Things with Opie went really bad...I made him leave..."

Gemma said "No, I am not busy at all. I will be there in about ten minutes Tara...do you need to call an ambulance or anything?"

"No...I don't think so. I just feel light headed...and sick to my stomach. I got really upset about something stupid...I am sure that I will be okay. I just want to get back there and get some rest. I really appreciate you coming to get me." said Tara.

"Alright then I will be there soon." said Gemma. She hung up. Gemma shook her head not sure what the hell had happened now. She grabbed her purse.

"What's going on Ma?" asked Jax sitting with Abel in his uninjured arm. He had been listening to Gemma's conversation with Tara.

"Tara wants me to come pick her up from her house so that is what I am going to do. She is sick that is all." said Gemma. She didn't need Jax going to pick a fight with Opie when they didn't even know what happened yet.

"I thought she went over there with Opie...why can't he bring her back?" asked Jax with a suspicious glance at his mother.

Gemma said "Opie isn't there okay..." Gemma walked out of the house before Jax could ask her anything else. Gemma walked out to her car and climbed in. She drove over to Tara's house and knocked on the door. "Tara?" asked Gemma.

Tara was half-sitting/half-laying on the couch. She was starting to feel seriously sick. She was cramping and that alone was scaring the hell out of her. She was angry at herself for letting her anger get the best of her when she knew what was at stake. She was supposed to be taking it easy. Tara pulled herself off of the couch and walked over to the door. She unlocked it letting Gemma into the house. "I am ready to go." said Tara. She had her purse in one had and her other hand was clutching her abdomen.

Gemma said "Wait you need to sit down...come on." Gemma helped Tara lean on her and guided her back over to the couch. Gemma walked back over tot he door and closed it. "Are you sure that you don't need to go to the hospital...?"

Tara closed her eyes trying not to cry from fear. She nodded and said "Maybe I should go just to be sure..." said Tara.

Gemma said "Okay...I am going to call for an ambulance okay?" She walked over to Tara's phone and called for an ambulance. She hung up and walked back over to Tara. "They will be here soon. Just try to take slow breaths and calm down okay...what happened?"

"I got so upset with Opie and I started feeling light headed and I started cramping. I should have just let it go but instead..." said Tara shaking her head. She closed her eyes and took soothing breaths. her hand was still rested on her stomach. "I screwed up Gemma..but it won't happen again...I'm done. Opie and I are done...and don't worry I won't go running to Jax either."

"Don't worry about any of that right now." said Gemma. "I just wanted to know what to tell the paramedics when they arrive." said Gemma. Gemma went to the door and waited impatiently to hear the sirens approaching Tara's house.

Soon the paramedics arrived and transported Tara to the hospital.


	32. Chapter 32

Jax walked into the club looking for Opie. He was definitely a man on a mission. "Where is Ope?" asked Jax walking over to the bar where Juice and Chibs were seated with a couple of croweaters. The glare he wore on his face let both of them know that he meant business. he had just left Tara who had finally made it to Gemma's place from the hospital.

Chibs said "Brother...are you sure you want to do this? I know you are angry Jacky Boy...but what does fighting another brother do for you? And how does that help Tara? She's sick...she needs you there with her...not beating Opie into a bloody pulp. Someone has got to step up and put an end to the fighting before you and Opie end up like Tig and Kozick...can't stand being in the same room together."

Jax stood there for a minute. He wanted to beat Opie senseless at the moment but he knew that Chibs was speaking the truth. He didn't want to cause Tara anymore pain than she was already in and fighting Opie would just make her feel worse. And most important he didn't want to end up like Tig and Kozick because at the end of the day he loved Opie like his own flesh and blood.

"Go home Jax...be with Tara...she needs you right now." said Chibs.

Jax nodded and said "yeah..." Jax walked out of the club and climbed into the truck driving off of the lot. He drove around for a bit and then stopped at a store before going back to the house. He headed inside and walked to Tara's room. he lightly knocked on the door before walking into the room. "How are you feeling darlin?" asked Jax standing in the door way watching Tara. He was holding a bag from the local bookstore in his hand.

Tara looked up and smiled a little. "I feel better than I did earlier. I was better once Dr. Henderson said that the baby was okay. I can't let myself get that upset again..about anything...it isn't worth it. More than anything... I want this baby and I need to do whatever I have to in order to make sure this baby is born full term and healthy. And getting upset about bullshit isn't the way to make that happen."

Jax said "Well, you are here getting rest and you know that my mom will let you stay here for as long as you think that you need to. And if there is anything that I can do to help out...just let me know. Even with one wing I am still pretty useful." Jax nodded to his broken arm with a smirk. "I know both of your parents are gone baby...but you've got family. Never doubt that."

"I know...Gemma and Clay both told me that I am welcome to stay here for as long as I want. It is comforting to know that I can stay here if I need to. Although I am hoping that once my week of bed rest is over that I will be well enough to go home. Not that I don't like staying here because of course I do. But I'd like to be home in my own bed. How are you doing...I mean your arm?" asked Tara looking at Jax.

"Eh...it hurts but they've got me on some good shit for the pain so I can't complain. I am sorry that you can't take anything for the pain because of the bambino. We uh...found out who hit us that night...the club is going to take care of the situation but...the person has fled town for now..." said Jax. "But he will be back...he always comes back." said Jax. "I guess that can be said for most people that leave Charming...it is like a beacon...you always come back home."

"Who was it?" asked Tara looking at Jax. She couldn't think of anyone that they knew that would have just left the scene of the accident like that. Tara said "You know...you don't have to just stand there...you can come and sit on the bed Jax. I know that standing up like that has to be hard with those cracked ribs. You can't overdo it either or your recovery will be a slow one. And I know it has to be killing you not being able to ride right now."

Jax walked over and had a seat on the bed. "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. Darby...hit us...He got out of his car to see who he'd hit and then got back into his car and took off before the cops arrived. There was a witness to the accident but the person was reluctant to come forward for fear of reprisals from Darby. Which I guess is understandable. Who wants the local meth dealer pissed at them?"

Tara shook her head not sure what to say about that. She knew that when the club caught up with Darby that they would take care of him. Her profession made her take an oath to preserve life but thinking about what that accident could have cost her, she could find little sympathy for Darby. She was quiet for a minute just sitting there with Jax. The television played in the background so that the room wasn't completely silent.

Jax said "I picked up something for you while I was out." Jax handed Tara the bag from the bookstore. "I don't know if you already have these or not but I thought...you might like them."

Tara reached into the back and pulled out three books. She smiled and chuckled softly. "No...I don't have any of these yet. Thank you so much Jax." She reached over and lightly squeezed his hand. Jax had picked up two pregnancy books and a baby name book for Tara. "You are so sweet...when you want to be."

"What can I say darlin...just call me a goodwill ambassador. I thought you could use something to keep you occupied while you are stuck in bed. reading about the baby will be good for you." said Jax.

Tara smiled and said "I love it Jax. I am really excited about this pregnancy. And I love the baby name book. I've got like ideas in my head but...nothing concrete. I think most girls think about what they'd want to name their first kids."

"Well, what names do you have in mind...if you don't mind sharing with me?" asked Jax. He scooted back so that he was sitting up against the headboard with her.

"For a boy I like the names Quinn, Shane, Michael, and Colin. For a girl I like the names Natalya, Abigail, Caitlin, and Jade." said Tara. "My mom gave me a Gaelic name...I think I want to do the same for my baby."

"I think Quinn is a great name...it is Gaelic...and it could be for a boy or a girl right?" asked Jax relaxing against the headboard as they talked.

Tara nodded and said "You are right about that it is a unisex name. How did you choose Abel's name?"

Jax said "I just...knew that it was the right name for him. I don't really know how else to describe it...I just knew..." "I didn't think that he was going to make it…and when I think back…I am sorry that I ever doubted his survival. He was just…so fragile the deck was stacked against him. His being sick brought up so many feelings for me…it reminded me of my baby brother getting sick…and then dying. Losing my baby brother broke my heart and I thought that I was going to lose Abel the same way."

"Abel had a lot stacked against him…but he was a fighter…I knew that from the moment I knew that he was your kid. You've always been a survivor. I was there when you lost your dad…and I thought…you'd go crazy…but you made it through it…stronger than you were before and I was in awe of you…" She closed her eyes tiredly as she laid with Jax who was looking sleepy as well. "Thank you for hanging out with me tonight Jax. It was nice to have a friend here with me."

"I made it through that time because of you and Opie…you two were with me when I was spiraling out of control. You two kept me from going off the deep end. How many people can truly ay that they've known their best friends…for their entire lives…" "I'll always be here for you darlin..." said Jax sincerely. He put his good arm around her. "You are important to me...even if we are just friends. I am always going to take care of you. Because you've always been there to take care of me."

Tara was quiet for a moment and then asked "You knew that Opie had a threesome with Sheila and some other chick...? You knew when I was giving you a hard time about the fact that you cheated on me..." Tara felt guilty for putting Opie on some sort of pedestal compared to Jax.

Jax took in a breath and looked at Tara. Jax nodded and said "Yeah...I knew...I knew that night when I showed up to your house. Are you mad at me?"

"That is the one thing that I can't figure out...I mean when we were in this very room...talking about your past indiscretion...you never once said anything about Opie...why?" asked Tara. "Most guys would have sold their friend down the river." said Tara.

"I knew that telling you the truth would hurt you and I didn't want to hurt you just to make myself look better in your eyes. You deserve better than either one of us...but strangely enough...we are the two people that you love most in this world. We've all treated one another fairly bad lately." said Jax.

"That is really noble of you Jax..." said Tara sincerely. "It hurt...but I guess I don't really have the right to be angry. Opie and I were broken up...at my own request and I slept with you too. I am not innocent by any stretch of the imagination. It just pissed me off that I was apologizing to him and he had this secret from me. And then he accused me of still sleeping with you. And it was like a light bulb went off in my head. Opie is never going to be able to trust me Jax...not now. Not after finding out that I had sex with you. He's always going to hold it against me...he's always going to be suspicious. I played into his insecurities by having sex with you in a vulnerable moment." said Tara. "I think that you and me and Opie...the only way any of us will be able to get passed this...is to just be friends again...it will be a long road...but it is possible. So do you want to be my friend Jackson Teller?" Tara played with his hair as they laid together.

"I'll always be your friend baby girl...your best friend. And maybe you are right…relationships…have just complicated our friendships…and more than anything we need one another. We keep each other grounded." said Jax. He kissed her forehead.

"You think Ope will ever come around?" asked Tara resting her head against Jax's shoulder. "I mean…do you think he will be willing to be friends with the two of us again? I'd hate to think that I lost a lifelong friend…forever."

"We've both known Opie a very long time...he will come around. His head is just messed up right now. But he will come around. You don't give up a 25 plus year friendship...not for anything in the world." said Jax. "You going to let him be a part of the baby's life?" asked Jax.

Tara nodded and said "Opie might suck as a boyfriend...but he is a good father to Kenny and Ellie...if he wants to be a father to this baby...then I am all for it. I want my kid to have a good dad. And a really awesome Uncle Jax too...family is what you make it…and maybe I've had to sew a little family together from pieces that I have found along the way…but I think that I've found a very good family. I want my baby to have a real family." Tara yawned tiredly.

"I'll be a great uncle you know that. Whatever you and the baby need I am going to be there to take care of it." said Jax with a smile. He chuckled and said "You are getting tired...why don't you get some sleep." Jax didn't want to just be Tara's friend but he knew there was some truth to what she said. Maybe being friends was the only way to repair the damage between all of them.

"I am always tired in these last couple of days...but it has been a harrowing last couple of days." said Tara laughing softly. "Who knew that I'd make life so...incredibly interesting?" asked Tara.

"You've always made my life interesting baby...always." said Jax kissing her cheek.

Tara laughed at him and closed her eyes tiredly. "Good night Jax."

"Night." said Jax.

Later that night Tara's cell phone started to ring. She reached over and grabbed it off of the nightstand before it could wake up Jax. "Hello?" asked Tara tiredly. She had been sleep for a couple of hours but that wasn't nearly enough.

"Tara...it's Opie...can we talk?"asked Opie. He sounded quite drunk at the moment. Opie was sitting in his truck outside of Clay and Gemma's house. "I know it is late..." said Opie. Opie had spent his evening at the club with Sheila but laying there next to her had made him feel guilty.

"Sure...we can talk...what is on your mind?" asked Tara quietly trying not to disturb Jax's rest. Tara sat up in the bed a little more. She was exhausted and could hardly keep her eyes open.

"I was hoping that we could talk in person...I am sitting outside...waiting on you." said Opie. "I promise that I won't keep you out for too long..." said Opie. "Please...?" asked Opie.

Tara could hear the distress in his voice and she said "Okay...I will be out there in a few minutes...I need to put on something warmer." Tara hung up and set her phone on the nightstand. She slipped out of the bed and put on her house shoes. Tara pulled on a thick terry cloth bathrobe. She tied it tight and quietly slipped out of her bedroom. Tara made her way out of the house and out to Opie's car that was parked in the drive. Tara climbed into the car. "Are you okay Opie?" asked Tara. She scrunched up her nose smelling the booze that was wafting off of his body in waves. She also smelled heavy cheap perfume but she didn't comment on that. "how much have you had to drink? I can't believe that you are driving." said Tara angry with him for driving drunk.

"How are you and the baby doing? I...I needed to talk to you. And I didn't want it to wait. I wanted to talk to you in person. So don't nag me and just listen to me." said Opie seriously. "I'm sorry for what I said at your house tonight. I wasn't lying to you when I said that I forgave you...what I said tonight...I said because I felt like I was in a corner. I saw how mad and angry you were and I wanted to...throw the attention off of me. Cowardly I know...but you were...pissed." said Opie.

"We are okay...the doctor gave me a clean bill of health. I had no right to be angry with you for having sex with Sheila...people in glass houses..." said Tara shaking her head. "We both screwed up Opie...we both made stupid mistakes. We both betrayed one another...we can say that we were broken up. But we both knew that we wanted to get back together. But...I was upfront about mine and I apologized...you lied to my face...and you weren't going to tell me..." said Tara.

"You are right I probably would have never told you. I knew that it would hurt you and I felt guilty about it...you are a great girl Tara...you always have been. And maybe if we hooked up at a different point in life...well maybe things would have worked out better." said Opie. "Right now...I need simple...I need...not commitment...I need random sex...mostly I want to run away but I have kids so I can't do that...I started a relationship with you instead of dealing with Donna's death and that was a mistake...it was just so easy to be with you because we both love one another and you love my kids...and you're hot." said Opie with a small smile at the last part.

Tara nodded and said "I know Opie...I was thinking the same thing tonight once I had a chance to calm down. We both rebounded...you from losing your wife...and me from breaking up with Jax. Donna is always going to be the love of your life...and you and I were foolish to have started up a relationship. Somehow we were blinded by the love we shared as children...and the dreams of what could have been if only..." "We make better friends Opie...and I don't want to lose that...ever. I've hurt you and you've hurt me but at the end of the day...I love you Harry...and I don't want to lose you. So...I think we should just be friends and nothing more...if you want to be part of the baby's life...I welcome that..."

He smiled at her and touched the tip of her nose. "I love you too kid...but just as Donna is the love of my life...you are lying to yourself if you don't admit that Jax is the love of yours. I knew it all along but I wouldn't admit it...but I had to face the truth that night in the hospital...you were in and out of consciousness but the first name you called...was his. And that told me...all I needed to know. That in some way...you'd always want him..." "Of course I intend to be a father to my kid Tara...I'd neither let both of you down like that."

Tara nodded slightly and said "It is hard to let him go. Jax...is the one who taught me what love was...and I know that sounds corny but it is the truth. I don't know if Jax and I will ever get back together...there is so much baggage there. But right now I just want to focus on fixing our friendship and being happy about the little life that I will be bringing into the world."

Opie put his arm around her. "You are my friend Tara. I will always love you. And who can say that they've gotten to experiment with the road not taken. We don't have to wonder what it would have been like...we tried and it was an absolute disaster...but fun...and we made a baby out of it." He reached over and rested his hand on her stomach.

"And I will always love you Ope. I am glad that we tried this because...I would have always wondered about what could have been. You are a good man Opie...and one day...you will heal from your loss and you will make a lucky woman...very happy." "Do you think that you and Jax can make things right?" asked Tara looking at him seriously.

Opie nodded and said "Yeah...I think we can at some point. It's late you should get back into the house...I just wanted to talk to you. And to let you know that if you do…end up back with Jax…well I can't think of anyone else that I would trust more with you…than him."

"That is incredibly sweet of you Opie…but I am not looking to rush into anything else…I think I've done enough of that to last a lifetime." Tara nodded and said "I am exhausted..I'll see you around Opie." Tara opened the car door. "Please...drive home safely..." said Tara seriously. She walked back into the house and locked the door behind her. She went back to her bedroom and slipped into the room quietly. She closed the door behind her and took off her robe as she walked over to the bed.

Jax opened one eye and looked over at her. "Everything okay?" asked Jax. Jax was laying on his side. He yawned a little and sat up in the bed more so that he could pay attention to her. Jax reached over and turned on the lamp that was on the bedside table.

Tara said "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to wake you up..." She chuckled softly. "I tried to come back into the room as quiet as possible." said Tara. Tara grabbed a box of chocolates from the dresser.

He chuckled and said "I woke up when the cell rang..but I figured you needed some privacy...I've been lying here waiting for you to come back...so...is Ope okay?"

Tara chuckled and said "You are such a sneak." She took off her house shoes and climbed into the bed with Jax. She settled against the headboard and nodded. "Everything is okay...we had a pretty frank talk and I think that we are okay. He was really drunk though...so we will see how much of that talk he remembers in the morning...but we both agreed that our getting together...was a rebound situation...but that we are glad that we did it. And he still wants to be friends and he intends to be a great dad..." She popped a couple of pieces of candy into her mouth.

Jax said "I am glad to hear that. Opie is a good man...he always has been. A better man than me in some cases. And he is a good father. So you feeling okay about everything?" Jax reached over and stole one of her pieces of chocolate.

"Yeah...I think Opie and I were more honest with one another than we've been...in a long time. I think I was more honest with myself than I have been in a long time." said Tara looking at Jax. "I think we've both forgiven one another for putting ourselves and everyone around us…through this. Opie isn't ready for a commitment he still loves Donna too much…she is the love of his life…and he pointed out that you…are the love of my life…and neither of us could deny either statement." said Tara.

"Well, you know how I feel about you baby…you remember what I told you at the hospital after that Kohn situation…?" asked Jax seriously. "You are the only thing that makes me feel connected in this world…and everyone else I've ever been with…has just been a sad time-out…something to ease the loneliness in the meantime. Even Wendy…she gave me a beautiful son…but I destroyed her in the process because she knew…that I loved you….and I love you more than I could ever love her…and she had to live with that day in and day out…and so did I…it was no way to live a life."

"Leaving Charming…when I did…I was running Jax…I was running away from you because I didn't know what to do with you…and when we broke up and I hooked up with Opie…I guess it was my way of running again…just this time…not physical distance…but emotional distance. Opie needed me and…I felt like I could take care of him…and in a way he took care of me too." said Tara softly.

"I screwed up…and I hurt you in the worst possible way…and I'm sorry…and I'll never stop being sorry." said Jax. "You are always going to be it for me. No matter how long we are apart…you are always going to be the only woman that I want. That is why I took it so bad when you and Opie hooked up…because…for once in my life…I was worried that I'd lose you forever…because…I know you love Opie. I could pretend that I didn't see it but…but I've never been dumb…not by a long shot…I always knew that there was a connection there between the two of you…in some ways I was jealous because…I've never had that sort of connection with another woman…just you." said Jax.

Tara sat her box of chocolate on the nightstand. She smiled softly and said "No, one is ever going to live up to you, Jax…you have to know that. You are my first love….my first boyfriend…the first man I made love to… you taught me how to love and what it is to love someone so much….that you lose yourself in that other person…so much so that you become one being…instead of two. I have a million memories and reasons to love you. When we are together I never have to wonder if you love me…or if I am safe…because I know that without a shred of a doubt that you would give your very life to protect me. I love you so much that I felt like I couldn't breathe when we broke up…Jax you are the standard that I have always compared every other man to…and they've all fallen short…because none of them are you. But as good as we are together…we are bad too…we hurt one another…and I don't want that for either of us anymore. So for now…I think we should still just be friends Jax."

"Just be friends?" asked Jax with a smirk. He could see the loving look in her eye. She wanted him back and Jax could charm anyone if he put his mind to it. "Fine…we can just be friends…but you know I'm never going to stop trying to make you mine again…this time forever."

Tara smiled and said "It is late Jax...and I am tired...let's go back to bed for the night." She kissed his cheek and then snuggled down in the bed pulling the blanket over her.

Jax chuckled and said "Okay...Goodnight darlin." Jax yawned and slid back down into the bed after turning off the lamp. He put his arm around her and closed his eyes tiredly. 


	33. Chapter 33

Five months later Tara was in the last few weeks of her pregnancy. She was off on maternity leave for the next two months and she was eagerly anticipating the arrival of her son. In preparation for his birth she spent her days shopping and decorating the nursery. Although, she was really just supervising the decorating of the nursery. Every day after work Jax and Opie were at her house painting the room, laying hardwood floors, and putting together all of the furniture that Tara had bought for the baby. She had bought everything except for the crib and the rocking chair. Those two items were being made by Opie. She was anxious having not seen them yet.

Tara sat on her couch waiting for Opie to come and pick her up. There was a party being held at the club to celebrate the impending birth of the baby. Gemma had organized it with the help of a few of the ladies. Five months had done Jax, Opie, and Tara a world of good. Their friendship was as strong as ever and that made Tara happy.

Opie parked in the driveway and got out of the truck. He was a little late getting there because he was getting his surprise for Tara lined up. He had finished the crib and the rocking chair and they were at the club for her to see during the party. He had stayed up for the better part of the night two days ago trying to make sure that the stain matched the other furniture Tara bought. He walked up to the front door and knocked.

Tara got up from the couch with some effort and made her way to the front door holding her purse in her hand. "Okay let's go. You are going to make me late for my own party Winston." complained Tara playfully as she walked out of the house. She locked the door behind her and headed out to Opie's truck.

Opie laughed and said "Hey...I am sorry there was still some work to be done at the club." He hugged her and opened the door for her. "You look beautiful Tara." said Opie. He smiled looking at the jade colored, spaghetti strap, maternity dress she was wearing. After she climbed in he closed the door and chuckled to himself. Opie walked around the truck and climbed in putting on his seatbelt.

"And just what is so funny?" asked Tara quirking an eyebrow at him. Although she already knew what was so funny. Tara put on her seatbelt and attempted to get comfortable in the truck. She opened his glove box and searched for candy. She grinned spotting a snickers bar and grabbed it. "I am so glad that you've been keeping candy in here...it makes the rides so much more enjoyable." said Tara laughing as she opened the candy bar.

"Nothing...I think you look beautiful." said Opie with a smile as he started up the truck and took off toward the club. "Well, after having to stop at the gas station to pick you up candy so many times...I just figured keeping candy in the car was a better idea."

She laughed and said "No...you were laughing at the fact that I can barely climb my fat ass up into your truck now. And I don't think it is very funny at all. You made me this way Opie Winston." She poked him in the side with her finger and settled back in her seat. Her hand rested on her rounded stomach as she snacked on the snickers.

Opie laughed and said "Okay...it is funny but not like...I am not laughing at you just at the situation. I don't see how you make it around with that big belly and small everything else." he chuckled looking over at her when they stopped at a stop light. Tara had maintained her small figure with one exception...one very large exception...her stomach.

Tara chuckled and said "Oh shut your mouth. You are just lucky this kid has been a good pregnancy or I'd be making your life a living hell right now. Pregnant women are known for being temperamental...you add that to my normal temperament and you have hell on wheels."

Opie smirked and said "Oh yeah...like you didn't call me at 2:00 in the morning to go to Wal-Mart in Stockton to get you Rocky Road ice cream? Or that time you just had to have BBQ ribs in the middle of a thunderstorm?"

Tara's face colored and she laughed. "It wasn't my fault Quinn has been making me want ice cream at all hours of the night. But you learned your lesson after that didn't you...there is always a half gallon of Rocky Road in my freezer now. I do want to thank you for how awesome you have been Opie...you've been there every step of the way. You are a good friend and a great father. You might have stumbled out of the starting blacks but you've finished the race strong. Where are Kenny and Ellie?"

"I am a smart man what can I say...now don't be surprised if you don't get many gifts at this party...most of the guys will probably just hand you cold hard cash...they aren't much for buying gifts for a baby...and you probably wouldn't want them to if they did...you never know what might come from their minds." said Opie. "Pops and mom already took them to the club for the party. They both picked out gifts for the baby on their own. I don't know what they picked so let's hope it is good."

Tara chuckled and said "Don't worry Gemma already warned me about that and there is nothing wrong with cash. Cash is my favorite gift...that way I can buy exactly what I want for Quinn. Jax finished up those cut out letters last night. He was able to put them up on the wall with the brackets. They are so cute. They are arranged in a semicircle over the space where his crib will go." She smirked and said "Speaking of the crib...is it ready?"

Opie said "That is great. When I drop you off later I will go in and look at it. The room has turned out great...you picked out a nice theme Tara. And the hardwood floors we put down look great." "The crib isn't quite ready yet...give me a couple of days and I will have it ready okay?" He smiled at her. He didn't like lying to her but he wanted her to be completely surprised when she laid eyes on the crib for the first time.

Tara tried to hide her disappointment. "Well, that is okay...we've still got a couple of weeks until Quinn is due. So you do like his name right? I know that you and Jax tease me about it but it is a good name right?" Jax and Opie ribbed Tara about Quinn's full name: Quinn Patrick Ronan Winston.

"I love the name Tara...it is a good name...one that he can always be proud of and it is in honor of your mother...how could that ever be wrong? Besides it isn't as if you've named the boy Apple or Pear...you gave him traditional Irish names." said Opie as he pulled onto the lot. He parked and then got out of the truck. He walked around to Tara's side of the truck. He offered her his hand and helped her out.

Tara smiled and said "Thank you for saying that about his name." She walked into the club where the music was already going. There was a long buffet line set up in the club. The guys were already there milling around, drinking, and talking.

Jax strolled over seeing Tara and Opie arrive. "Hello darlin." said Jax hugging her and giving her a kiss on the lips. "How are you feeling?" asked Jax. It was no secret in the club that Jax and Tara were back together.

"I couldn't be more exhausted if I tried and I am strangely hungry now..." said Tara laughing. "Everything in here just smells so good right now. But Gemma always puts out a great spread when she gets the ladies together." Tara walked over and had a seat tiredly.

Jax walked over and fixed a plate for Tara. He kissed her cheek. "Here...you should eat." He had a seat next to her with his beer.

Gemma and Clay walked over having a seat with them. Gemma hugged Tara and said "You look beautiful honey. And I think you are going to like everything I bought for the baby."

Clay laughed and said "Yeah, I am sure that you will. Gemma went overboard buying for the baby and Abel. I am just glad to have all of the baby stuff out of our house...was starting to give me nightmares of a change of life baby."

Jax laughed and said "Easy way to make sure that don't happen...don't have sex with my mom...that'd make me feel better."

Clay laughed and said "Shit, Gemma would leave and find a young man if I start holding out on her. She likes it daily and nightly."

Jax nearly spit out his beer and laughed. "I didn't need to know that shit." Jax took another swig of his beer.

Tara chuckled looking at him. "I miss beer...I miss beer a lot..." She looked at Jax's beer longingly. "I'll have the baby and then I'll have a beer..." said Tara laughing.

Jax smirked and asked. "I thought you were going to breastfeed the little guy. You know give him all of the good stuff that he needs..."

Tig walked over as Jax was talking and laughed. "This is so wrong...there should not be talk of breastfeeding in the club. I mean sure we can talk about tits...but not tits that are leaking milk. That's just wrong...tits are supposed to be for pleasure."

Tara laughed at Tig and Jax.

Jax laughed and said "As freaky as you are Tig I would have thought that you would have had some sort of lactation fetish or some shit like that."

"Hey! You've got to draw the line somewhere man...some things just aren't supposed to happen..." said Tig shaking his head.

Clay quirked an eyebrow at Tig and said "You draw the line at breastfeeding...? Not getting wood for a dead body?"

Tig laughed. "Different strokes for different folks." Tig made masturbatory motion.

Gemma laughed and said "That's enough Tigger. Don't be corrupting the kid in the womb."

Tig smirked and said "I am just giving the kid a life lesson the only thing better than a woman is a silent woman."

Jax laughed and said "You are a very sick man...a very very sick man." He smiled at Tara and said "But seriously I thought you were breastfeeding."

Opie walked over having a seat and said "Yeah...I thought you were breastfeeding...did you change your mind?"

"No, I am still going to breastfeed I think...maybe...I don't know we'll see after I give birth...but right now I want a beer, some coffee, and some pot would be good right now...i gave up all of my favorite things during this pregnancy. When I finally have the little one I want to party." said Tara laughing.

Gemma chuckled and said "Oh yeah. I know that feeling. As a mother so sacrifice all of the good times for the kid and then they give you...31 years of hell and counting."

"I love you too Ma." said Jax laughing.

Tara was eying the gifts on the table.

Jax followed her gaze and laughed. "You want your gifts now don't you...?"

Tara nodded and said "Mmhmmm..."

Jax laughed and said "Juice! Sack! Carry the table over here so Tara can get started on her gifts."

Juice said "Sure thing Jax." Juice grabbed one side of the table and Sack grabbed the other side and they nearly up ended the whole table.

Opie laughed. "I will help them before dumb and dumber drop off of the gifts on the floor." Opie walked over to Juice and Sack and held them carry the table over to where they were all sitting.

Clay said "But first some of the guys have something for you." Clay nodded at the guys.

They started a line and walked passed Tara handing her envelopes with money in them. They all murmured their congratulations as they walked by.

Tig handed Tara and envelope and smiled. "Let the kid know when he turns 16 Uncle Tig will get a hooker for him."

Tara burst into laughter and said "Uh...thank you?" Tig looked at Opie and whispered. "Keep him away from our kid..."

Afterward Tara started opening the gifts from everyone. Tara and the baby ended up with quite a haul of stuff. Tara said "I want to thank everyone. These gifts and the money are really great. It's nice having family. So enjoy the party...and have an extra beer and shot of whiskey for me!"

The music cranked up and the party really got started. Opie and Jax carried her gifts out to the truck. The party went on for a couple of hours and Tara disappeared for awhile.

Tara sat outside on the picnic bench looking at the stars.

Jax and Opie walked outside looking for her. They realized they hadn't seen her for an hour or so.

"What the hell are you doing out here? I've been looking for you. Have you been out here long?" asked Jax laughing quietly as he walked over to his lady love. He had a seat on one side of her. Jax put an arm around her while he held his bottle of beer. He handed her a bottle. "It's root beet but I figured you could pretend."

Tara said "I just wanted some fresh air. I wanted to climb up on the roof but I knew the two of you would have a fit. I am not as fat as you two like to think I am. I am perfectly capable of climbing some stairs. So I decided to be good and just sit out here on the picnic bench."

Opie had a seat on the other side of you. "It isn't that we think that you are fat...it is that we think your stomach is huge." He laughed and said "All joking aside you sure that you are okay?"

Tara nodded and said "Sure I am fine my back is just hurting. I am glad that you both came out here to find me though...you know there was a time when I wondered if we'd ever get back to this point...where we could be friends...and love each other."

"I wondered that too..." said Opie. He kissed her cheek in a friendly way. He sat back and drank from a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Jax said "I didn't...I knew we'd all figure it out eventually...we're family."

Opie laughed and asked. "Does that mean that Tara is like our sister?"

"I hope not since we've both fucked her." said Jax. "It's like the club...we are a family because we want to be...we chose to be a part of the same family...it is the same for the three of us...a long time ago...we decided to be one each others' family...and I am glad that we did. I can't think of two people I trust more...even if Opie did act like a little bitch."

"Hey! I didn't act like a little bitch! You were kind of a bitch too!" said Opie playfully shoving Jax.

Jax shoved Opie and said "You were the one that attacked me in the hospital."

Opie shoved him back laughing. "I was pissed you were in bed with my woman!"

Tara laughed and said "Hey I am in the middle here quit your shoving before you shove me. Because if one of you shoves me I'll have to shove your asses off of the picnic bench."

Opie whistled and said "Look at the balls on this one." He laughed and got up.

Opie and Jax wrestled in front of Tara.

Tara laughed watching them. It felt like old times to her. She could remember them acting just as goofy when they were all children. She tossed gravel at them as they fought.

Opie laughed and said "Quite throwing stuff at us! It is becoming a habit with you."

Tara laughed watching them fight. She relaxed. But after awhile Tara groaned in pain. "Jax! Opie!" said Tara.

Jax stopped wrestling with Opie and said "Tara we are just playing around..."

"No...I think...I think my water just broke..." said Tara her face white as a sheet.

"Oh shit..." said Jax."I'll start the car!" said Jax rushing toward Opie's truck.

Opie rushed over to her. "Come on...we'll get you to the hospital." Opie helped her to the truck

Tara laughed and groaned in pain. "Both of you jackasses are too drunk to drive me." She laughed and groaned as a contraction hit her. "Oww oww oww!" screamed Tara.

Jax rushed into the club. "Tara's in labor! Anyone sober enough to drive?"

Gemma grabbed her purse and her keys. "I am as close as you are going to get to sober around here darlin. Get her into my car." Gemma tossed Jax her car keys.

Jax ran out of the club and said "Ope! Gemma is going to drive Tara." Jax unlocked the car door.

Opie helped Tara over to the car and helped her get in.

Gemma walked over and grabbed the keys from Jax. "I'll meet you two at the hospital." Gemma climbed into the car and started it up.

Clay walked over and climbed into the front seat. "I'm coming with you."

Gemma said "You almost missed the train baby." Gemma said "Hang on Tara. I will get you there soon." Gemma pulled off of the lot and headed toward St. Thomas hospital.

Opie hopped into his truck and took off.

Jax hopped onto his bike and took off for the hospital as well.

Several of the other guys mounted up and rode over to the hospital as well. 


	34. The End

A/N: I want to thank everyone for reading this story and sticking with me through the twists and turns that I have taken. This is the last chapter of Out of Sorrow. But who knows there could be a sequel in the future at some point.

* * *

Gemma walked out of Tara's hospital room for a moment to collect her thoughts and to catch her breath. She had been in the room with Tara for the last hour while they waited on the doctor to come in and examine Tara. The news Dr. Henderson shared with them was most unsettling and now it was up to Gemma to tell Opie and Jax. Gemma walked to the waiting room organizing her thoughts. When she walked into the waiting room she wasn't surprised to see all of the guys at the hospital awaiting little Quinn's arrival into the world. Her eyes scanned the room and she spotted Jax and Opie sitting side by side.

Jax was seated next to Opie drinking a cup of cheap hospital coffee in order to sober himself up. He had been wondering what was taking so long. They hadn't heard any news since they arrived at the hospital. Jax stood up hearing his mother's heels clicking against the tile floors. "Mom." said Jax standing up as he nudged Opie to get his attention.

Opie shot out of his seat and looked at Gemma expectantly. "Gemma...what's the word?" asked Opie looking at her. He couldn't read the expression on Gemma's face but it didn't look good. Opie could hear his heartbeat in his ears as his mind raced over the possibilities.

Gemma walked over to Opie and Jax. "Tara...and the baby aren't doing well...Dr. Henderson said that the umbilical cord is wrapped around Quinn's neck. The baby is in distress... He is going to have to perform an emergency c-section...they've already moved her to an operating room. Dr. Henderson assured me that he'd come to find us as soon as he knew anything...so for now...we just...wait. Opie...Tara is very scared right now...she really needs you in there with her. A nurse will give you some scrubs to change into...she shouldn't be alone for this...so if you can't be there let me know and I will go in there with her. But I thought you might want to be there when your son is born."

Opie's face fell hearing the news. He shook his head not sure what to do at the moment. He walked away from the group needing some space to figure all of this out in his head. After the rocky start of her pregnancy the last few months had been smooth sailing. It never occurred to him that something could go wrong in the final stretch...and something as serious as this. Opie stood at the window looking out at the dark sky. He didn't know if he could take being in the room if something went wrong.

Jax walked over to his friend and in his calmest voice said "I know...you are scared bro...I am too. But we can't leave Tara to do this alone...she needs you...your kid needs you. You need to get in there...or I will...and I'll never let you live it down..." Jax's heart was racing as he worried about Tara and the baby but he was trying to keep himself calm for Opie's sake.

"What if...?" asked Opie not even being able to finish the sentence. "Losing Donna...almost killed me Jax...looking at her lifeless body laid out on the street...I could have died right then. What if...what if something happens to Tara or Quinn...sometimes when I close my eyes I can still see Donna's lifeless face...I can't have another ghost haunting me Jax."

He understood Opie's fears. He had the same fears about Abel when he was first born. "You are so worried about yourself that you are willing to let down Tara and your kid when they need you the most?" He knew his best friend better than anyone else in the world and he knew that Opie just needed to be goaded a little.

Opie ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Shut up!" said Opie. He pushed passed Jax and headed down the hallway to catch up with the nurse. He got the scrubs from her and hurriedly changed. He rushed to the operating room with the nurse. When he got there the doctor was already cutting into Tara. Opie walked over to the head of the bed and took Tara's hand. He watched to action in the room in amazement as everyone flitted around the room like ants on an ant hill. "I am here Tara..." said Opie holding her hand.

Tara clutched his hand in a near death grip. She wasn't in pain but she was panicked. She had tears in her eyes and her cheeks were tear stained. "I didn't think you were coming..." said Tara in almost a whimper. She tried not to sob but she couldn't hold back. She was terrified

"Hey...you and Quinn are fighters...our little boy is going to come through this with flying colors." said Opie kissing the top of her head. He stared at the partition that was obstructing the view of the c-section. "You know you have a hell of a grip..." said Opie trying to get Tara to focus on him instead of staring at the partition.

After what seemed like forever Dr. Henderson handed Quinn's body to the nurse. The boy wasn't breathing at the moment. The nurses rushed Quinn over to the other side of the room and worked on him. The movements on that side of the room seemed almost frantic as they tried to coax the infant into breathing.

Tara asked "Is he breathing yet? Is he okay?" Tara was frantic at the moment. Every instinct in her body screamed at her to get off of that table and rush over to her son's lifeless body. And if she wasn't immobilized at the moment she might have done just that.

"He is going to be okay Tara...he is going to be okay." said Opie trying to convince both of them of that fact. Opie never let go of Tara's hand as he stared off in the direction of their son. The minutes seemed to tick away and he felt like he couldn't breathe. Opie closed his eyes and murmured a prayer _'Please God...please don't take my son away from us.'_

Just then a wail was heard from across the room.

Tara started to cry tears of joy hearing Quinn crying. "That has to be the sweetest sound I've ever heard." said Tara clutching Opie's hand tightly.

Quinn continued to cry as the nurses and doctor looked after him.

Tara let go of Opie's hand and said "Go...go see our son. Make sure he is okay please..." Tara stared up at Opie. She just wanted to know that their son was really okay.

Opie nodded and kissed her cheek. He walked across the room feeling like his heart was in his throat. He stood behind a nurse watching them make sure that Quinn's airway was clear. His color was slowly improving and he was screaming his little heart out. Opie looked at all of his little fingers and toes and was happy to see ten of each. He felt tears welling up in his eyes but he refused to let them fall.

The nurse handed Quinn to Opie. Opie gingerly held his son. "Hi there...I'm your daddy." said Opie in a gentle voice.

A few hours later...

Tara laid in her hospital bed tiredly watching an infomercial on television. She still hadn't been given the opportunity to hold Quinn yet. Tara looked next to her bed and chuckled. Opie was half asleep in a chair next to her bed. He had been able to hold Quinn briefly. So his mind was at ease.

Jax walked into Tara's room carrying flowers and an oversized stuffed bear. He walked over to her bed and set the flowers down on the night stand. "How are you feeling baby?" asked Jax quietly. He didn't want to wake up Opie it had been a long night for everyone. He kissed Tara on the cheek and had a seat in the other chair next to her bed. "I picked up the Teddy bear for the little guy. Have you seen him yet?"

Tara smiled. "You are so sweet Jax...thank you. I am sure that Quinn will love a bear that is four times his size. No, they haven't brought him in yet. A nurse stopped by ten minutes ago and said they'd bring him in soon. They are happy with his apgar score. He is 6lbs and 2 ounces. And he is 21 inches long. I just want to hold him."

Jax smiled and said "Well, I can't wait to meet the little guy." He smoothed her hair out of her face. "How are you feeling?" asked Jax looking into her eyes.

"I feel like I want to pass out from exhaustion...as you can see Opie already has...I know that he is okay...I just...I want to see that for myself. I thought you had gone home for the night..." said Tara laughing softly.

"I know you need to see him before you can rest. I am sure they will get him in here soon." said Jax. "No, I was in the waiting room. I figured you and Opie could use some time alone. And I was saying goodbye to the guys. They were heading home for the night now that they know the munchkin is doing well. Mom and Clay are still in the waiting room though. Mom isn't going anywhere until she gets to see Quinn."

Tara laughed and asked "I just want to hold my boy...that is all. That definitely sounds like Gemma. Quinn and I are so lucky to have so many people care about us. I can't believe all of the guys came over here to the hospital. They were all so drunk at the party to begin with."

He smiled and said "I know waiting has never been your strong suit darlin. Of course they came to the hospital. You are family baby...and family is always there for one another. They might have been drunk and sprawled out in the waiting room but they were right there waiting."

"Well, I've seen him...they held him up for me to see but it isn't the same thing as holding him in my arms. Hey, I am a very patient person...just not about this." said Tara laughing softly.

"Do you want me to get you anything to eat or drink?" asked Jax. "I can run to the vending machines and see what I can find for you..." said Jax.

"I really just want some ice chips if you could find a nurse to get that for me I will be grateful." said Tara. "My mouth feels so dry right now."

"Sure I can do that. I will be back in a few minutes." said Jax. He kissed her cheek and walked back out of the room looking for a nurse. Jax walked back into the room ten minutes later with a cup of ice chips and stopped in his tracks seeing Tara holding Quinn. Opie was sitting up watching Tara with the baby.

Tara smiled and said "Jax...come over and meet your godson." Tara was cradling Quinn against her chest. She stared down at his little face admiring his piercing green eyes. "He's so perfect...he's the most perfect baby ever." gushed Tara in a quiet voice.

Jax walked over to the bed sitting his cup down. He smiled looking at the baby. He kissed Tara's cheek. "You did good kid...you did real good." said Jax with a smile. "Look at that sandy brown hair on his head." said Jax chuckling softly.

Jax hugged Opie. "Congratulations brother. I am happy for you. And thank you for making me the godfather of your son. It means a lot to me. I should go get mom and Clay."

Opie smiled and said "Thanks." He chuckled and said "I can't think of anyone else that I would trust with my flesh and blood if something happened to me...I called Gemma and Clay they are on their way back here to meet the kid."

Jax smiled and said "So Tara did you decide to stick to the name you picked out?"

Tara smiled and said "I changed my mind a little bit...I decided to name him Quinn Patrick Winston. When I looked at his little face he just didn't seem like a Ronan to me...he seems like a Quinn Patrick..." Tara handed Quinn to Opie.

Opie smiled and said "He is so small I feel like I am going to break him with my gigantic hands." Opie gently rocked his son seeing his little eyes getting heavier. Opie looked at Jax. "Do you want to hold him?"

Jax nodded and said "Sure...I'd like that." Jax gently took Quinn. "Hi little guy...I am your Uncle Jax..." said Jax. "I'll teach you about all of the awesome things in life...that your parents don't want you to know about. "

Gemma and Clay walked into the room carrying balloons and Teddy Bears. Gemma walked over to the bed and smiled. "Oh look at him...and he's wide awake." said Gemma with a grin.

Quinn started to get cranky and Jax chuckled. "Okay time to give you back to your mommy." Jax gently gave Quinn back to Tara.

Tara smiled at her son and rocked him. "What are you fussing for hmmm?" cooed Tara.

Jax chuckled and said "He is probably sad that his mommy has chickened out of breastfeeding him. I know I would be disappointed if I was him." Jax winked at her.

Opie laughed and said "That is a reason to be cranky."

Jax kissed Tara. "I love you babe."

Tara smiled and said "I love you too Jax." She looked back down at her son and smiled at his precious little face.

Gemma stood back watching how Opie and Jax both looked at Quinn adoringly. She stood with Clay and smiled at him. "I think they've finally got it figured out." said Gemma in a low voice.

"Yeah...baby...I think they do." said Clay watching them.


End file.
